A Time for Secrets (26 page)

§ § § §

Slowly, life got back to normal. Mrs. Harker kept showing up, day after day, hating me more now than ever. Harker suggested we have Brian and Ross over for dinner to return the favor. That seemed like a horrible idea after the way our dinner with them had gone, but who kn
e
w
,
maybe they’
d
be the ones who end
ed
up fighting on Halsted, rather than Harker and me. Even so, I hadn’t mustered enough enthusiasm for the idea to actually invite them.

A week after Lutz confessed, I put Meek’s journal into a manila envelope and mailed it to Daniel. I wanted to put a note in with it, I even tried to write it a few times, but in the end I sent the package without explanation. He’d understand, or he wouldn’t. Either way, silence seemed best.

The heat had finally broken, and it seemed like Chicago might be a livable place again. It was time for another visit with Dr. Macht, so Harker and I found ourselves sitting in his waiting room. Waiting.

“You don’t have to go in with me,” Harker said. I’d been enjoying a
People
magazine article about the challenging lives of Hollywood offspring. I wasn’t appreciating the interruption.

“Are you saying you don’t want me to go in?” I asked.

“No, I’m saying you don’t have to.”

“Do you want me to go in or not?”

Harker got quiet.

“What is this about?” I asked.

“I don’t think you can do this.”

“What? Sit in a waiting room? Listen to a doctor?” Well, I’d had problems the last time, but now all the bad news was out. Or, at least, I hoped it was out.

“I mean, you’re not going to be able to watch me die,” Harker said flatly.

“We don’t know that’s going to happen.”

“It’s very likely I’ll die. Is that better?”

More accurate perhaps, but no, not better. I looked around. I really wanted a cigarette, but I’d have to go out in the hallway to have one. There was a big no smoking sign next to the receptionist’s window and brochures advising you how to quit. Apparently, the doctors Macht and Locklear thought smoking was bad for you.

“So, you don’t want me to go in with you,” I said, deciding to just ignore most of what we’d just said.

“I want you to know that whenever you need me to move out, I will. I won’t be difficult. There won’t be any awful scenes.”

“We’ve had this conversation already.”

“Well, now we’re having it again.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“That’s how you feel today. It may not be the way you always feel.”

“Okay. You’ve made your point. I can ask you to move out whenever I feel like it, and you won’t mind. So, we don’t have to talk about this until I actually ask you to move out. Do we?”

He sat back in his chair. I’d trapped him. There was a frown on his face for a moment. Then he stared at the wall across the room in a determined way that made me uncomfortable.

Dr. Macht opened the door to the waiting room himself and asked us to come back. We got up and followed him. As we walked down the hall, I slipped my hand around the back of Harker’s neck. “It’s gonna be all right,” I whispered.

“Yes. Yes, it is,” he said.

He led us to a different examining room this time. This one was lemony. I wondered if all the examining rooms were painted in fruit colors. He asked Harker how he’d been doing for the last few weeks, and Harker pulled out a sheet of typing paper on which he’d written down a few notes.

“I’m tired. I don’t have much appetite. I have diarrhea most of the time. Most days I run a fever. Usually not higher than a hundred and one or so. I’ve lost another four pounds.” He looked up at the doctor and added, “Other than that I feel great.”

I could barely breathe, of course. I thought he’d been doing a whole lot better than that.

Dr. Macht nodded his head and said, “Those are all very common symptoms. We should probably do a blood test to see if you’ve got some kind of infection. In the meantime, I’ll prescribe an antibiotic, so if there is something going on we start to knock it out.”

He did a brief exam and thought up some more tests he wanted Harker to have. Then Dr. Macht said, “By the way, they’ve changed the name of what you have. They’re not calling it GRID anymore. They’re calling it AIDS. It stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.”

We were quiet a moment. Then I said, “Well, it’s nice to know the medical community has been busy.” All I could think about was a couple dozen doctors sitting in a room wasting time arguing about what to call this deadly disease instead of spending their time figuring out how to fix it. I didn’t much care what doctors called it as long as they got it to go away.

Dr. Macht smiled at us because there wasn’t much else to do.

Then Harker was putting his clothes back on; we collected the prescriptions and left the building. When we got outside, I said, “You didn’t tell me you had diarrhea.”

“Do you want me to chart my bowel movements for you?”

“I want you to tell me everything.”

“You don’t tell me everything,” he replied.

“I tell you everything you need to know.”

“And I tell you everything you need to know. Nick, you don’t need to know every time I have diarrhea.”

Harker turned and walked toward the car, I caught up to him easily. “I do need to know, though. Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe you are dying. But, you’re mine, and if that’s what’s happening to you then that’s mine too. Don’t try to take it away from me.”

He stared at me for a long moment. His eyes were moist, and I could see him biting the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. I hoped he wasn’t going to cry. That wasn’t what I was trying to do. Shit, I wasn’t even all that sure what I was trying to do.

Finally, he said, “All right, I’m yours. Now take me home.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

MARSHALL THORNTON
earned an MFA in screenwriting from UCLA where he won the Carl David Memorial Fellowship for his romantic-comedy, Husband Material and received an Honorble Mention in the Samuel Goldwyn competition for his script, The Job. In addition to winning numerous screenwriting awards, Marshall has published in literary magazines and had plays produced in both Chicago and Los Angeles. Currently, he writes the Nick Nowak Mystery Series set in Chicago during the early eighties, and will be publishing two suspense novels in the next year.

TRADEMARKS ACKNOWLEDGMENT

The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

501s: Levi Strauss & Co.

Beefeater: Beefeater Gin

Bic: BIC Group

BVDs: Bradley, Voorhees & Day?

Carson, Pirie, Scott: Bon-Ton Stores, Inc. Now called Carson’s.

Chevy: General Motors

Chicago Magazine: Chicago Magazine

Coke: The Coca-Cola Company

Commodore 64: Commodore USA, LLC

Daily Herald: Paddock Publications Inc.

Dunkin’ Donuts: DD IP Holder LLC

Ford F-150: Ford Motor Company

Hershey’s/ Reese’s Pieces: The Hershey Company

Jell-O: Kraft Foods

Johnnie Walker Red: John Walker & Sons

Marlboros: Philip Morris USA

Marshall Fields: Macy’s, Inc

Miller - MillerCoors LLC

MTV: Viacom International Inc.

National Enquirer: American Media, Inc.

Nikes: NIKE, INC

Old Spice: Procter & Gamble

People Magazine: Time Inc.

Rolodex: Sanford, A Newell Rubbermaid Company

Sears: Sears Brands, LLC.

Sig Sauer: SIG SAUER INC

Smith-Corona: Execuline Business Systems

Styrofoam: The Dow Chemical Company

Vaseline: Unilever.

MLR PRESS AUTHORS

Featuring a roll call of some of the best writers of gay erotica and mysteries today!

Derek Adams

Z. Allora

Maura Anderson

Simone Anderson

Victor J. Banis

Laura Baumbach

Helen Beattie

Ally Blue

J.P. Bowie

Barry Brennessel

Nowell Briscoe

Jade Buchanan

James Buchanan

TA Chase

Charlie Cochrane

Karenna Colcroft

Michael G. Cornelius

William Cooper

Jamie Craig

Ethan Day

Diana DeRicci

Vivien Dean

Taylor V. Donovan

Theo Fenraven

S.J. Frost

Kimberly Gardner

Michael Gouda

Kaje Harper

Jan Irving

David Juhren

AC Katt

Thomas Kearnes

Kiernan Kelly

K-lee Klein

Geoffrey Knight

Christopher Koehler

Matthew Lang

J.L. Langley

Vincent Lardo

Anna Lee

Elizabeth Lister

Clare London

William Maltese

Z.A. Maxfield

Timothy McGivney

Tere Michaels

AKM Miles

Reiko Morgan

Jet Mykles

William Neale

Cherie Noel

Willa Okati

Brynn Paulin

Erica Pike

Neil S. Plakcy

Rick R. Reed

A.M. Riley

AJ Rose

George Seaton

Riley Shane

Jardonn Smith

DH Starr

Richard Stevenson

Liz Strange

Marshall Thornton

Lex Valentine

Haley Walsh

Mia Watts

Missy Welsh

Stevie Woods

Ian Young

Lance Zarimba

Mark Zubro

Check out titles, both available and forthcoming, at
www.mlrpress.com

GLBT RESOURCES

RAINBOW ROMANCE WRITERS

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THE TREVOR PROJECT

The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Every day, The Trevor Project saves lives though its free and confidential helpline, its website and its educational services. If you or a friend are feeling lost, alone, confused or in crisis, please call The Trevor Helpline. You’ll be able to speak confidentially with a trained counselor 24/7.

 The Trevor Helpline: 866-488-7386

On the Web: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

THE GAY MEN’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROJECT

Founded in 1994, The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community. The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services. Understanding that the serious public health issue of domestic violence is not gender specific, we serve men in relationships with men, regardless of how they identify, and stand ready to assist them in navigating through abusive relationships.

GMDVP Helpline: 800.832.1901

On the Web: http://gmdvp.org/

THE GAY & LESBIAN ALLIANCE AGAINST DEFAMATION/GLAAD EN ESPAÑOL

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (glaad) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.

On the Web: http://www.glaad.org/

glaad en español: http://www.glaad.org/espanol/bienvenido.php

SERVICEMEMBERS LEGAL DEFENSE NETWORK

Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is a nonpartisan, nonprofit, legal services, watchdog and policy organization dedicated to ending discrimination against and harassment of military personnel affected by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (dadt).The sldn provides free, confidential legal services to all those impacted by dadt and related discrimination. Since 1993, its inhouse legal team has responded to more than 9,000 requests for assistance. In Congress, it leads the fight to repeal dadt and replace it with a law that ensures equal treatment for every servicemember, regardless of sexual orientation. In the courts, it works to challenge the constitutionality of dadt.

sldn Call: 800-538-7418

PO Box 65301 or (202) 328-FAIR

Washington DC 20035-5301 e-mail: [email protected]

On the Web: http://sldn.org/

THE GLBT NATIONAL HELP CENTER

The glbt National Help Center is a nonprofit, tax-exempt organization that is dedicated to meeting the needs of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and those questioning their sexual orientation and gender identity. It is an outgrowth of the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline, which began in 1996 and now is a primary program of The glbt National Help Center. It offers several different programs including two national hotlines that help members of the glbt community talk about the important issues that they are facing in their lives.  It helps end the isolation that many people feel, by providing a safe environment on the phone or via the internet to discuss issues that people can’t talk about anywhere else.  The glbt National Help Center also helps other organizations build the infrastructure they need to provide strong support to our community at the local level.

National Hotline
:
1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

National
Youth Talkline
1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-246-7743)

On the Web: http://www.glnh.org/

e-mail:
 
[email protected]

If you’re a GLBT and questioning student heading off to university, you should know that there are resources on campus for you. Here’s just a sample:

GLBT Scholarship Resources http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/tell-us-about-an-lgbt-scholarship

Syracuse University

http://lgbt.syr.edu/

Texas A&M

http://glbt.tamu.edu/

Tulane University