A Time of Peace (18 page)

‘I'm so
angry
with Derek Howard and myself.' The words began to tumble out. ‘I'm lost, Mum, and I don't know how to find my way back. Nothing seems important any more. I think this all started when I left my job with the paper – it was a bitter disappointment – and then the abduction …'

‘We know you've given the police the full story but you've never told us what really happened.' Rose poured them both another cup of tea.

‘I can't talk about it. I'm so bloody furious!'

Rose looked at her thoughtfully. ‘A very wise lady once told me that you must be the master of your anger and not let it control you, then you can put it to good use.'

‘Wise words,' Kate agreed. ‘But how do you put it into practice?'

‘That's what I used to wonder as I fought my way through the early years of my life.'

‘You learned, though.' Kate had enormous respect for her mother. She was still a lovely woman, and the wisdom gained through many harsh struggles shone in her dark eyes.

‘It took me years, and it was only the strong but gentle nature of your father that finally brought me to my senses.'

‘I hope I meet someone like him one day.'

‘You will, Kate, but be prepared to wait, don't settle for second best. Annie never considered marrying until she met Reid during the war, and she was in her early thirties then, so you've got plenty of time.'

‘I'm in no rush. In the meantime I'll try to master my anger.' Kate gave a helpless shrug.

‘Derek Howard's trial is next month,' Rose pointed out. ‘That isn't going to be easy for you but once it's over you'll probably feel better.'

‘I hope you're right. That's hanging over me like the sword of Damocles.'

‘I'll be beside you the whole way through, and so will your father. You know that we love you very much?'

Kate gave her mother a grateful smile, tears very close to the surface. ‘What would I do without you both?'

‘You'd manage.' Rose gave her daughter a studied look. ‘I believe you've convinced yourself that you're a weakling. You are not!'

Her head came up in surprise. She'd been under the impression that she was hiding her disgust about herself
quite well. ‘That's very perceptive of you, Mum. But you're wrong. Not only am I a mental weakling, but I'm also a coward.'

Rose sat back with a faint smile on her face. ‘Your character has always been a mixture of my determination and fire, tempered by your father's gentleness and quiet strength. The last thing you are is a coward, but you'll have to discover that for yourself.'

‘Have you seen the papers, Kate?' Pete rushed up to her as soon as she walked in the shop. She'd managed to sleep last night for a while after her talk with her mother, but she felt just as troubled this morning. ‘I overslept and didn't have time for anything this morning.' She took the newspaper he was waving around excitedly. It was today's date – Thursday, 13 April – and the headline read
MAN IN SPACE
. She sat down and read the story with a mounting sense of awe. What an achievement!

‘A Russian, Yuri Gagarin,' Pete pointed out, looking over her shoulder. ‘I'll bet the view of the earth from up there is fantastic.'

‘Absolutely breathtaking, I expect.' As Kate thought about it, her mind lifted away from the earthly doubts and fears. If you could view the earth from a great height, it must make the wars, heartaches and struggles seem very small in comparison with the vastness of space. For the first time in nearly four months, Kate began to feel the grip of confusion ease a very little bit. But the anger still remained. She hoped Howard was put away for the rest of his life! However, she'd been wrong to keep all the hurt inside and let it fester. Instead of sitting down and talking about it with her parents or James, she'd been
behaving like an idiot! She'd tried to speak to her mother several times but somehow the words just wouldn't come. Even last night, although she had tried very hard to get the words out, she had kept the real horror of that room to herself.

‘Are you all right?' Pete bent down in front of her. ‘You look upset.'

She smiled at him. There would be a time to talk about it, but it wasn't now. Perhaps it would be easier after the trial. ‘I'm fine. Let's have a cup of tea and toast Yuri Gagarin's flight, shall we?'

‘Susan's already put the kettle on.' Pete stood up, still with a concerned frown on his face. ‘Is the thought of the trial next month playing on your mind?'

Kate grimaced. ‘I must admit I'll be glad when it's over.'

‘Try not to worry.' He sounded very mature now. ‘We'll all be there for you. No one's going to let that man harm you again.'

‘I know, but it's going to be an ordeal.'

When Kate met Jim that evening the talk was all about the first man in space. The café they went to was a buzz of excited chatter, and later, at the Odeon in Leicester Square, there was a special newsreel. Once the film started she sat back and watched the epic
Spartacus.
The outside world faded as she became completely absorbed in the story, and she didn't even protest when Jim put his arm around her.

When they came out, it was drizzling and Jim hurried her across the road. ‘Let's have a drink.'

She agreed readily enough. It had been a pleasant evening, and she was not eager for it to end just yet. She became edgy when night fell, and welcomed the bright lights of town and the sound of people enjoying themselves. The worst time for her was the middle of the night, when the house was still. She would wake suddenly with a cry, believing she was back in that awful room and feeling that animal's hands on her …

She drew in several deep breaths to try to calm her racing heart. Was she ever going to be able to put this nightmare behind her? She was still sleeping with the bedside light on and was deeply ashamed of herself.

‘What would you like?' Jim asked, when they were in the pub.

‘An orange juice, please.'

He gave her a disgusted glance. ‘Come on, Kate, have a sherry or something like that. I can afford it.'

‘Not sherry, get me something light.'

‘Such as?'

‘I'll leave it to you.' Kate watched a bad-tempered frown cross his face, and she sighed inwardly. ‘Oh, just get me a lemonade.'

While he was at the bar, a sense of unease crept over her. She'd caught a brief glimpse of something in Jim she hadn't noticed before. She was normally good at sizing people up, but she hadn't been paying attention lately.

When Jim returned, the teasing smile was back in place. ‘I asked the barman what he thought I should get you, and he said beer if you were common, and white wine if you were posh. I told him you were posh.'

Kate fixed her gaze on him and demanded, ‘I am what?'

‘Posh.' He sat down and pushed a glass towards her. ‘So I got you a white wine.'

‘I'm not posh!' She was thoroughly irritated now.

He laughed as if it were a huge joke. ‘Of course you are. Your family's loaded.'

The alarm bells were really clanging now, and Kate studied him carefully, trying to delve beneath the affable façade – for she was sure that was all it was. Why the devil hadn't she noticed it before? ‘Is that why you asked me out?'

‘No, you're beautiful as well, which is a bonus.' The look he gave her was sly. ‘Though I wouldn't mind a car like the one you've just bought Pete.'

That was breaking point for Kate. She surged to her
feet, knocking the table so that the drinks sloshed over. ‘Pete's car is for our business.'

She pushed her way through the crowded bar and made it to the street before he caught up with her and took her arm.

‘I didn't mean it, Kate. I was only teasing. I thought you'd take it as a joke.'

The drizzle had turned to a steady downpour now, and the cool rain ran down her face as she looked at him. That remark about her beauty being a bonus infuriated her. He was a man on the make. She should have guessed that as soon as she'd spoken to him for a while. She was a blasted idiot.

He tugged her arm. ‘Come back and finish your drink; we're getting soaked out here.'

Without speaking, Kate shook herself free, removed a couple of pound notes from her purse and shoved them into his hand. ‘I wouldn't want you to be out of pocket for the evening.'

‘Kate!' he called as she walked away.

She didn't turn round. Perhaps she was being oversensitive, but she wasn't going to put up with anything like this. She felt utterly miserable. This wasn't the first time she'd been asked out because her family were considered rich.

By the time she reached her car her self-esteem had dropped another notch. She got in, locked the door and wiped her face with a handkerchief. She wasn't some spoilt rich kid; she and James hadn't been brought up like that. At the thought of her brother, Kate started the engine and headed for Richmond. It was late, but James wouldn't mind.

She drove past her home and on towards Richmond Green. James had bought himself a beautiful house there, and she loved this elegant area. Although it was nearly midnight, the downstairs lights were still on. Kate had her own key to his house, but didn't use it in case he was entertaining. She knocked on the door.

‘Kate!' he exclaimed when he saw her. ‘What are you doing here at this time of night? Is anything wrong?'

‘I wondered if I could talk to you.'

‘Of course.' He ushered her into the lounge. ‘Why didn't you use your key?'

She glanced around the room and, seeing he was alone, grinned. ‘I thought you might have company.'

He pulled a face. ‘I don't bring girlfriends here, Kate. It gives them ideas.'

I'll bet it does, she thought. One look at this place and the only thing on their minds would be marriage. Not only was her brother a successful businessman, he was also a very handsome man.

‘Do you want a drink?' he asked, holding up the brandy decanter. When she shook her head, he poured himself one and sat down. ‘What's on your mind?'

She explained about Jim and how she'd misjudged him at first. Because he'd been Pete's cousin she'd taken him at face value, and that was something she didn't usually do. Her sigh was heartfelt. ‘I don't know what's happened to me, James. I seem to be looking for ulterior motives all the time, and I don't think I can cope any more.'

James sipped his drink, studying his sister intently, then he put the glass down. ‘Did Howard sexually assault you?'

The sudden shift in the conversation startled Kate. ‘I've told you he didn't.'

‘I don't believe you. I think you concocted that story to save Mum and Dad more anguish,' he told her bluntly.

‘I didn't come here to talk about this.' She started to stand up, but he stopped her.

‘All right, Kate, but you realize this is all going to come out at the trial, don't you?'

‘I know.' She settled back in the chair again and dipped her head. ‘I'm dreading it.'

‘So am I, because before it starts I've got to tell Mum and Dad something they don't know.'

She looked up quickly at the weary tone in her brother's voice. ‘Oh, what's that?'

‘When Howard sent me those photographs of you, there was something else in the envelope. A demand that all charges against him be dropped … and a ransom of a million pounds.'

‘That's preposterous!' Her mouth opened in disbelief. ‘Why didn't you tell Mum and Dad?'

James leant forward, elbows on knees. ‘Because if I had, Dad would have frantically tried to scrape the money together, and I believe the stress would have been too much for him.'

Tears welled up in her eyes. ‘You mean it could have killed him?'

‘Yes.'

‘Oh, God.' She'd always loved and respected her brother, and her heart ached for him. While she'd been locked in that room, she'd been afraid of the strain this was putting on their parents, but she'd been removed
from the problem by her isolation. James hadn't! ‘What were you going to do?'

‘Try to raise the money myself.' He took a large swig of brandy. ‘People think that because we own Grant Phillips we have a great deal of money floating around, but that isn't the case. The Freemans' wealth is tied up in the business.'

Kate knew this, so she nodded and waited for her brother to continue.

‘I immediately set about seeing how much this house and all my possessions would raise. Then I contacted the bank for a massive loan …'

Kate's sharp intake of breath stopped him. ‘You'd have beggared yourself trying to raise that kind of money.'

‘It would have been worth it to get you back safe and sound.' He gave her a wry smile. ‘You were a
weird
kid, but I've always loved you dearly.'

He'd called her that when she'd been little, and the tears flowed unheeded down her cheeks. What unselfish love. ‘But you'd never have been able to raise a million pounds.'

‘No, I wouldn't, but I was hoping I could negotiate a more reasonable ransom with Howard.'

‘This will come out at the trial.' Her insides cramped at the thought. It was going to be even more of an ordeal than she'd imagined. ‘You haven't got much time to tell Mum and Dad.'

‘I wanted to after you were released, but you haven't been yourself, and they've been worrying about you. I didn't want to upset them any more. Sort yourself out, Kate,' he added gently. ‘The trial is only three weeks away.'

‘I will, I'll spend more time at the shop. I won't cause Mum, Dad or you any more worry.' She looked at her brother in anguish. ‘I'm
so
sorry.'

‘None of this is your fault,' James assured her. ‘Howard's responsible, and I'll see he pays for it. But I'm worried about Dad's health. If he saw you involving yourself in something worth while – acting more like your usual caring self – then I'm sure he would feel easier. Couldn't you do another article on the orphans?'

‘That's an excellent idea,' she agreed, a bit of her old enthusiasm springing into life. ‘I could show how much the children long to belong to a family, and perhaps it would make couples come forward ready to adopt.'

Some of the worry eased from James's face, and he smiled affectionately at her. ‘Go for it, Kate!'

It had been a good idea talking to James last night, Kate thought as she drove to Kensington the next day. Much to her surprise she'd slept well and had even reached out and switched off the bedside light. She knew she had a long way to go yet, but that had been a small step in the right direction. Although her date with Jim had ended badly, it had helped to clear her mind of some of the confusion and doubt. The kind of mood she was in at the moment made her want to argue with anyone, even her father. She was dreadfully sorry for that and knew she was causing her parents a lot of worry. Perhaps it would be better if she moved out for a while until she came to terms with the horror Derek Howard had put her through. The idea of leaving her home was not a welcome one, but she couldn't go on like this. She needed
to be alone without someone watching her every mood. The play-acting was becoming difficult to maintain. She was still ashamed of the abject terror she'd experienced and her lack of action to try to free herself.

After parking the car, she walked into the shop, and, finding Pete and Susan busy with customers, went out to the back and put the kettle on.

‘Lovely, just what I could do with,' Pete told her as he walked into the room. She handed him a cup of tea. He sat down and stretched out his long legs. ‘As soon as I've finished this I must run. I've got a wedding at Caxton Hall at eleven and another at two.'

‘How busy are you?' Kate perched on the end of the table.

‘Rushed off my feet. It's the wedding season and bookings are pouring in.' He drained his cup and stood up. ‘We need another photographer, Kate, because if it wasn't for the car you bought me, I'd never be able to manage.'

‘Will I do?'

He'd been making for the door but stopped and spun back to face her. ‘Are you serious?' He beamed with pleasure when she nodded. ‘Ah, that's wonderful. I've missed working with you.'

‘I'm sorry I've been so bloody difficult, Pete.' She'd been putting everyone under unnecessary pressure, all because of one man – Derek Howard – and by doing that he was still getting his revenge. Well, it wasn't going to continue. She would not allow him to win!

A measure of strength and determination began to surge back into her. After the trial she
was
going to put it all behind her.

‘Grab your camera,' Pete told her. ‘I can do with your help at once.'

They went in Pete's car, and she couldn't help noticing again how changed he was. The boy Andrew Stevenson had given her as an assistant because he didn't know what to do with him had turned out to be a treasure. There wasn't a vestige of the timid, awkward youth left. He was tall, confident and one hell of a photographer. One day he was going to be better than her – if he wasn't already. The time she'd spent teaching him had been one of the best things she'd ever done. And she'd gained a stalwart friend and business partner in the process.

‘I wish I'd known you had a date with Jim,' he said, casting her a quick glance while they waited at traffic lights.

So his cousin hadn't wasted time telling him about last night.

‘He's a nice-enough bloke, but there's only one thing in this world he wants, and that's money, or someone who has money.'

‘I realized that too late,' Kate admitted, ‘but I was too harsh with him. I'm looking for ulterior motives in a lot of people these days.'