A Time to Live (21 page)

Michael rolled his eyes and opened the door.

Nikki bolted to her feet and Michael was immediately worried.
Her face was gray, but she managed to capture him in a warm embrace. He couldn’t help but smile, wanting to crawl into her jacket with her.

“Good Lord, you’re freezing,” she said and rubbed her hands up and down his arms.

“Keep doing that and I’ll warm up real fast,” he whispered.

She laughed and grabbed the shopping bag.
“You’ll have to wait until we get home.”

Michael winked at her and gratefully put on his shirt and boots, then pulled on his jacket.
“Much better, thanks, Nikki.”

“Now, you need to come to the clinic, Nikki,” Doc said, wagging a finger at her.

“Doc, I’m—”

Michael lifted his hand, forestalling any argument.
“He already talked to me about it, Nikki. We are going to the clinic right now.” He gritted his teeth at the look of sheer terror in her eyes. “It will be all right, sweetheart,” he whispered as he stepped closer. “Trust me.”

She swallowed hard and nodded.

They walked toward the clinic and Michael noticed Nikki’s step growing slower and more hesitant. His arm remained around her shoulders just to keep her moving forward.

Doc seemed to sense her unease.
“I’m going to go on ahead,” he said lightly. “I want to get everything ready and I need to fix a fresh pot of coffee.”

Nikki’s expression brightened a little.
“Coffee sounds wonderful.”

Doc winked at her and hurried away.

Michael pulled her more firmly against him. “Nikki,” he said softly. “You don’t have anything to worry about. Doc’s just going to check that fever and do a blood test.”

Nikki’s face lost even more color.
“Michael, I can’t. If he finds out how sick I am, he’ll put me back in the hospital and everything will start all over again.”

Michael jerked to a halt, gently gripping her chin and forcing her to look at him.
“No, he won’t, Nikki, I won’t let him. I know you suffered through a terrible experience, but I swear to you, I’m going to be with you every step of the way. I won’t let him do anything you don’t want.”

“Michael, please, I can’t do this.”

“Nikki, you have to. I don’t know much about cancer, but I do know patients are more susceptible to infections. Your time is already short, don’t make it shorter by something that can be averted with simple antibiotics.”

Nikki stared at him for a long moment, then her eyes filled with tears.
“You see, this is exactly why I didn’t want you to fall in love with me. You will do anything to keep me from dying.”

Michael stiffened, anger simmering through him.
“Yes, I will. If its keeping a maniac from murdering you, if it’s as simple as antibiotics, or if its loving you with all my heart, I will do it. But I will not force you back to the pain and fear you suffered before.”

Her shoulders slumped slightly and she stared at the ground.
“All right, antibiotics and a blood test. But that’s all, do you understand?”

He smiled and kissed her forehead.
“I understand. Let’s go, Nikki.”

Michael began to question his resolve the moment they entered the clinic.
Nikki appeared as if she was on the verge of fainting. Her hands shook and she used her inhaler repeatedly. Doc ushered them in an examination room, but didn’t have her change into a gown. He simply took her temperature, examined her ears and throat and listened to her heart and lungs. He asked her only basic questions and did not pry.

“Now, Nikki,” he said.
“I need you to roll up your sleeve so I can get some blood samples.”

She did so
, but a warning shiver skittered down Michael’s spine. He stepped forward and firmly gripped Nikki’s free hand, gazing at her with what he hoped was an encouraging expression.

When Doc put the tourniquet on her arm and picked up the needle, Nikki almost bolted.
Michael tugged her chin, so she saw only him, and spoke soft reassurances. He didn’t realize immediately what he was doing, but spoke in Arapaho. It was something his grandfather had taught him long ago, and he had used it often to soothe frightened and injured animals. Nikki’s gaze remained locked on his, her green eyes frightened, but no longer panicked.

“Very good,” Doc said and Michael stopped, looking at him in surprise.
He had filled five vials already.

Nikki blinked, as if coming out of a trance.
“That was fast. I didn’t feel a thing.”

Doc winked at Michael.
“I told you it would be nothing.” He put a small band aid on Nikki’s arm and let her get up. As she moved to pick up her jacket from a chair, Doc pulled Michael aside. “Michael, how many times do I have to ask you? You’ve got to teach me that chant.”

Michael chuckled softly.
“Family secret, Doc, you know that.”

Doc shook his head.
“Ever since you were little and used to bring me wounded animals I’ve heard you use that chant. It works miracles.”

“Hey,” Nikki said scowling.
“What’s the big secret over there?”

Doc laughed.
“Just harassing Michael for some of the stunts he used to pull on me in the past.”

Nikki blinked in confusion and Michael grinned at her.
“When I was a little boy, I used to bring Doc wounded animals to help.”

“He never accepted the
I’m not a vet
line.”

Michael shrugged, still smiling.
“That didn’t matter to me back then. Doc was a healer, I didn’t care if it was people or animals.”

“I drew the line at the skunk though.”

Nikki’s eyes widened. “A skunk?” Suddenly she started laughing. “Good Lord, Michael, I bet no one could get near you for a week.”

“He didn’t spray me,” Michael said and grinned wickedly.

“Out,” Doc said with mock ferociousness. “Both of you get home. Nikki, I’ll give you some antibiotics. I think you’ve got a bug that might be going around so stay in bed. It causes high fever and a nasty cough, so take it easy. I’ll know if it’s a virus if we can’t grow a culture.”

“Okay, Doc, thanks.”
She took Michael’s hand in hers. “You really brought him a skunk?”

“Hey, I was only eight,” Michael replied defensively.

Nikki laughed and took the antibiotics from Doc. “Let’s go home, Michael. It’s been a long night.”

****

The next morning, Nikki awoke with a pounding headache and shaking with fever chills. She tried to move and groaned, waking Michael instantly.

“Hey, you okay,” he asked and touched her face.
Michael sucked in his breath. “Good grief, Nikki, you’re burning up.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Nikki muttered, trying to burrow under her pillow.

“I’ll get the meds doc gave you.”

“In the kitchen I have some acetaminophen, get it for my fever would you?”

“Sure.” He crawled out of bed and went downstairs.

Nikki stayed in bed the rest of the morning, but by lunch she felt good enough to dress and come downstairs.
Her fever stayed steady at one hundred and three, but Michael made her a tea that worked miracles for her aching head.

“Let me guess,” she said, sipping the tea and trying not to cringe.
It worked great, but tasted terrible. “Another family secret?”

“Exactly,” he replied and grinned.
“Arapaho medicine.”

Cetan screeched loudly from her perch and fluttered her wings.

Nikki arched an eyebrow. “I think you’re getting yelled at.”

Michael rolled his eyes.
“I should have thought twice before bringing her here, two females in this house are more than enough.”

“What’s her problem?”

“It’s cold, but the sun is shining. Cetan loves to fly in this sort of weather and I haven’t taken her out in a couple of days. She’s going stir-crazy.”

“Why don’t you go out back and fly her for a little?
The radio said another bad storm is moving in tonight. It will be days before she can fly again.”

“Are you sure, Nikki?
I know you’re feeling rotten—”

She waved him off.
“Don’t worry, Michael. I’ll just crash on the couch and you’ll be right in the back yard if I need anything.”

“That’s a big back yard, are you sure you can yell that loud with your head hurting?”

She grinned mischievously and lifted her fingers to her lips. Her whistle made Michael flinch and Cetan squawked in displeasure.

“Whoa, girl,” he said rubbing his ears.
“I get the point. I’ll be able to hear that in the next county.”

She laughed as he bent to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“Go on, lover. I’ll be fine.”

It didn’t take Michael long to get ready.
Nikki settled on the couch, wishing she could read over the files she had collected, but was afraid it would make her head start hurting again. She dozed for a little while, but the phone startled her awake.

Blinking her vision clear, she answered it on the third ring.
“Hello?”

“Nikki?
This is Josh. How are you?”

“Josh?” Why was he calling? “I’m okay, I guess.
Doc says I’ve got a bug that’s been going around.”

“I’m sorry.
Is Michael around?”

“He’s out flying Cetan.
Is something wrong?”

Josh sighed heavily.
“Nikki, I just received some information on the medications you’re taking and it’s not good. We need to get together and talk.”

Nikki’s heart hesitated in her chest then felt as if it hit the floor.
“What...what are you talking about?” she whispered.

“Nikki, you know I specialize helping terminally ill patients.
And the medicine you’re taking for your cancer...well...we need to talk.”

A sickening band of pain and fear wrapped around her. “How...how do you know?”

“Michael told me all about it,” he said indignantly, suddenly he sucked in a breath. “He didn’t tell you he talked to me?”

Tears sprung to her eyes.
Michael. Dear God, how could he do this to her? How could he betray her like this? Michael knew what would happen if others found out about her cancer, the hell would start all over again and she would spend her last months in agony, alone in a hospital.

“Nikki,” Josh said gently.
“I am sorry. Michael didn’t do this to hurt you, he was only trying to help.”

“I don’t want help,” she growled, her jaw aching as she fought to keep from sobbing.
“I just want to be left alone. Michael knows that! There’s nothing anyone can do for me except make it worse.”

“I understand how you feel, Nikki.
Chemo is terrible.”

“Don’t give me your psychobabble crap.
You don’t understand anything. Just leave me alone!” She slammed the phone down and covered her face with her hands, crying bitterly.

Why had Michael done this?
She should have never agreed to be with him, she should have never let him into her heart, she should have never fallen in love with him.

What could she do?
She had to get Michael out of her life. She couldn’t trust him now and could not bear to have him under the same roof. If her condition deteriorated just a little, she wouldn’t be able to fight him if he sent her to the hospital - and once in, she would never leave until she died.

Her chest began to throb and she quickly grabbed her inhaler.
Nikki knew she couldn’t face Michael either, not right now. Hurt and anger grew in power. Nikki pulled on her boots, another sweater, and coat. She grabbed her keys, but paused and fetched a piece of paper and pen.

How could you do this to me?
She wrote so hard and fast she almost ripped the paper.
How could you tell Josh about my cancer when you know what awaits me if they find out? I want you out of this house and out of my life by tonight. Don’t ever come back.
Tears flooded down her cheeks, spattering on the paper and smudging the ink. She didn’t even bother to sign it but left it in plain view on the table.

Scrubbing the tears from her eyes, she left through the front door, quietly crawled into the Bronco, and drove away.

****

Michael held out his arm and Cetan landed easily.
“Well, my dear,” he said smiling, his breath plumed around him in the frosty air. “Have you had enough for one day?”

She ruffled her feathers, her golden eyes bright.
Michael chuckled. He walked a good distance to the house and carried her through the back door. Stomping the snow from his boots, he entered the kitchen.

“We’re back,” he called, placing Cetan on her perch.

Silence greeted him.

“Nikki?” He peered into the living room.
She wasn’t on the couch. Did she go back to bed?