A Time to Love (10 page)

Giggling, Annie stumbled twice, then ran into the house and slammed the door.

"It was three to one," Matthew told Jenny as he walked toward her. "You couldn't help me?"

Jenny shrugged and gestured toward her cane. "Well, you know I'm a bit incognito— " she stopped. That wasn't the word. "Incapacitated right now."

"Then maybe I should take a few bites of you to tide me over until dinner." He stood close, so close, then he bent down and their breaths, puffy warm clouds in the cold air, mingled.

"I—" Jenny saw the three faces pressed against the windowpane. She drew back. "We should get inside. The children."

Matthew glanced toward the house, then back at her. "Jenny—"

"I'm cold, can we go inside?" she asked quickly, and before he could answer, she moved toward the door.

"Jenny!"

She thought she could avoid him in the house where children surrounded them, but Matthew simply bided his time.

Halfway through dinner, they heard a ringing coming from Jenny's purse hanging from the peg by the door.

"I'll get that for you," Mary said, jumping up and bringing Jenny's purse to her.

"Is it your cell phone?" Joshua wanted to know.

"Yes, Joshua." Reaching inside her purse, Jenny checked the display, then set the ringer on vibrate. She looked at Matthew."I'm sorry. I forgot it was in my purse."

"Do you need to speak to the person calling?"

She shook her head. "It's just David. He was to call me about arrangements for New York City. To do the interview next week. I'll call him later."

"You're going so soon?"

"Is it one of the iPhones?" Joshua asked. "Can we see it?"

"No, Joshua, eat your supper," his father responded firmly.

"I'm sorry," Jenny said again.

Matthew looked at her. "It's all right, Jenny."

He turned to Joshua. "How is it you know about this
Englisch
device?"

"Everyone does," he said, his eyes on his plate.

There was silence at the table. Matthew frowned. Although Jenny said she was just going back for the interview, he feared she would stay there. He watched her push food around on her plate with her fork. Once or twice she looked guiltily at Joshua, as if she felt she had gotten him into trouble.

"Mary, tell Jenny how you did on the essay she helped you with."

"I got an A."

"That's wonderful!"

Conversation started again. The children were full of questions about New York City. They were curious about the world Jenny had lived in before she came to stay with her grandmother.

Tonight, though, Jenny seemed to give them quick answers and then change the subject. Sometimes it even seemed that she looked to Matthew first, before she answered.

"Now you get to eat dessert, monstewr," Annie told him as she helped clear the dishes.

Matthew bent to loop his arm around her waist and pull her toward him. He nibbled at her neck. "Mmm, very good dessert."

Annie giggled and tried to pull away. "Monstewr is not going to eat Annie."

He pretended to look disappointed.

"But we made pie. You wike pie," she added.

"What kind?"

"Pumpkin."

"With ice cream?"

Smiling, Mary went to get it. "Of course."

Matthew let go of Annie. "I'll have the pie."

Annie just giggled and went to hand the dishes to Joshua to put into the sink.

The children ate their dessert, then excused themselves to finish their chores.

Matthew poured coffee for himself and Jenny, and they sat at the kitchen table just as they'd done so many other nights.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A few days."

Matthew felt relief course through him.

Jenny covered a yawn with her hand. "I'm sorry. I'm a little tired."

"What did you do today?"

She shrugged. "Not much."

"When is your next physical therapy appointment?"

"Next week."

"You don't have one this week?"

Jenny nodded. "I went today."

"I would have driven you."

"I know. But I feel like I'm taking you away from your work."

"Jenny. You know I don't mind. In fact, I enjoy the time talking with you and sharing a meal. But maybe you don't feel the same?"

She met his eyes. "You know I enjoy being with you."

He reached to touch her hand but withdrew when Joshua came in to get a glass of water.

"Being in a car was good for one thing today," Jenny said when Joshua left the kitchen. She told him what had happened when David drove her here that first night, how the time overseas in the war-torn country had made her fear if the car stopped, they could be victims of a bomb.

"Maybe I had enough distance from the wars overseas, or the landscape was different enough," she said. "I was awake, not half-asleep from painkillers as I was that day when David was driving. Whatever the reason, I was all right riding in a car."

She looked at Matthew. "It's important because one day I'll be going driving or riding in cars, not riding in buggies."

"You were in a war?"

Startled, Jenny saw that Joshua and Mary were standing in the doorway, listening. Biting her lip, Jenny looked to Matthew and he nodded, giving her permission to answer Joshua.

"Yes, I was. But I wasn't fighting or hurting people."

She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain what she did to them. This was such a different place, without much knowledge of the bad things in the world. And the children were so innocent.

"I was there to send film—pictures—back to people here so they could see what was happening to children where there is war."

"Is that where you got hurt?"

"Yes." Again, she looked to Matthew. She wasn't sure how much he wanted them to know.

"A bad person hurt Jenny," Matthew said quietly. "He thought if he did, she wouldn't be able to tell people."

Matthew immediately was sorry for what he had said when he saw the stricken look cross her face.

"He won," she whispered so softly he almost didn't hear her.

"What did you tell people about the children?" Mary wanted to know as she and Joshua came to stand near them.

"Matthew?" Now she looked even more upset than she had before. "I know that you try to stay separate from my world. I would not bring it here to your children."

From the time he had invited Jenny into his home, Matthew knew that the time might come when his children would learn more of the ways of her world than he wished. He could have avoided her to keep it from happening. But he had been drawn to her again, just as he had years before, and his feelings for Jenny had made him want to be close to her, to be with her. She was a good person, a loving person. He could tell that she was in distress that she might say the wrong thing to them.

"Tell them, Jenny," he said finally. "They know that the
Englisch
world has war and many bad things."

"There are many good things, too, but yes, there is war and it's horrible." She stared down into her coffee. "Children sometimes lose a parent, even both of them. Sometimes their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Even their sisters and brothers. They don't have their homes when they're destroyed."

She lifted her eyes. "But the hardest thing was seeing they didn't have enough to eat."

"We could send them some food," Mary said. "We have lots of food."

Jenny smiled and hugged her. "That's very sweet. There are people who are doing that, sweetheart, helping the children."

"Are they going to stop the wars?" Joshua wanted to know.

"They're trying."

Mary stood closer to Matthew. "Why does God let these things happen, Daedi?"

Jenny stared at the girl. It had been her question, too, one she had asked so often.

Matthew put his arm around her and hugged her close. "I know that it's hard to understand why God would allow bad things to happen, especially to children. But the Bible tells us that God allows free will. He allows people to do as they wish even if it is not what He would have them do."

The children seemed satisfied with his explanation.

Annie stumbled in, rubbing her eyes. "Mary? Read me a stowy?"

Hannah walked in the door. "Jenny, your grandmother is here to take you home."

Matthew rose to help Jenny with her coat. "I'd like to speak with you," he said in a low tone. "Can I come by tomorrow?"

"I—" Jenny looked past him and saw Hannah and the children watching them. How could she refuse? "Yes, sure."

Jenny wasn't surprised when Matthew came the next day just as he'd said he would. Her grandmother's friends were visiting in the living room so when he suggested they go for a drive so they could talk. Jenny agreed.

"Just say it," she told him, staring straight ahead.

Matthew stared at her. "What is it that you expect me to say?"

"I'm an outsider here, Matthew. I know that. I've tried not to offend. I didn't come to expose your children to everything you've worked to protect them from."

"Jenny! What are you talking about?"

She turned and looked at him. "Be honest, Matthew. You didn't have reservations about them being around me?"

"We're careful with our children," he said slowly. "We want to hold them safe. But even if I had reservations, they were gone after the first time I saw you again. I saw then that you hadn't changed from the person I knew."

"But you were different last night. You were upset with Joshua for being curious about my cell phone and you were sharp with him. Then you looked unhappy when the children asked me so many questions about New York City."

"Jenny—"

"And then—" she stopped, touching her fingertips to her lips to make them stop trembling. She looked back at the road ahead. "And then to have them ask about things like war and children being hungry . . . I didn't want to tell them about all that."

He frowned. "I'd prefer to protect them from all that. It's what any parent wishes, isn't it? Plain or
Englisch?"

"Of course. I understand."

"I'm not upset with Joshua or you, Jenny. Believe me. I'm sorry if you sensed my disapproval last night. I was . . . well, I have a lot on my mind right now, some things to work out for myself."

"It's okay. Listen, I need to get back home. Can you take me back home, please?"

"You were quilting?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes—no. I—I just need to do some things."

Matthew reached over to touch her hand and she stared at him, surprised.

"Jenny, it's such a wonderful day. Come, let's enjoy it. There aren't many days before you leave for New York City."

Is it an attempt at a truce?
she wondered, gazing at him. She told herself she shouldn't go. But as she saw the sincerity in his eyes, felt the pressure on her hand, she found herself saying yes.

When she'd first come here, Jenny had felt that buggies were quaint and she'd chafed a little at how hard getting around was without the mass transportation she'd grown accustomed to in New York City.

Yet buggies had helped to protect the Amish community, she'd come to realize. You could only go so far and then you needed to let your horse rest, eat, and get some water. There was no jumping into a car when you were mad and driving for miles and miles away from your family, friends, and problems. Like the prohibition of electricity that kept out television, the buggy helped keep the community inclusive, safe from negative outside influence from the
Englisch
world.