A Toast to Starry Nights (23 page)

By time the green tea ice cream came, I
could tell he was reining in his lust. Twice while he played navigator with my
leg, his fingers brushed against my hot center. The first time, gentle and
exploratory then retreating, the second was much more deliberate with a sweet
interlude of him exploring the realm under my panties to slide a finger inside.
I moaned a little while writhing against his hand. That digit rubbed a moment
longer before retreating down my leg to stay only upon my knee. His eyes locked
mine and he put his mischievous finger in his mouth to taste.

If the tatami room had a lock upon its
door to bar the waitstaff, then I would have returned the favor and then some.
My current state of anticipation sang through every fiber of my being.

It wasn't long before the check came and
I paid it. He and I wandered back to my car, hand-in-hand. Every step served to
make me burn hotter for Dmitri. For me, anticipation is just as rewarding as an
orgasm when it comes to sex. The longer we could draw it out before we both
burst would be well worth it, I was sure of that.

Dmitri spoke low. “So, what's next on
the agenda, Kay?”

What's next? Oh, gee. Let me see. Can we
suck face in my backseat somewhere isolated? How about unclothed dryhumping...
“How does a museum sound?” I couldn't resist teasing.

“Museum? That's like an unclothed cold
shower, right?”

I busted out laughing. “Yep.” Dmitri
still had hold of my hand and pulled me close.

After biting my lower lip a moment, I
looked up into his face and spoke. “I have an idea. Well, two. One requires a
little more patience than the other. I'll leave it up to you to decide.”

“Well, lay it on me.” I could feel his
hardness straining against clothing as he gently pushed my back against the
Jeep's tailgate to lean in and nibble little kisses on my neck while gently
grinding against me. I rained a trail of kisses down his jawline, not giving a
damn about the cars pulling in and out of The Congee Bowl's parking lot. If
they want to look at Dmitri and I, fine. Otherwise they are free to gander in
another direction.

Lust engulfed me almost to the event
horizon. It was hard to form a coherent thought when all I wanted to do was
unzip his trousers and help myself to the fun inside. “Option one involves
getting a room somewhere and let nature take its course. I don't know if we
could make it all the way to my apartment without having to stop somewhere for
tension-relieving mischief. I'm really frisky at the moment, by the way. Thank
you.” Dmitri's cologne helped to stoke the fire within me. “The second option is
stargazing. I know a place that is secluded with very little light from
civilization to cloud the view. Choose your poison.” I offered stargazing
because it means snuggling. Always has being close to Dmitri meant comfort to
me.

In an instant he replied, “Stargazing,”
much to my surprise.

With reluctance, I pulled away and
looked into his face. “Then you better get into my car before I do things to
you that'd get me arrested.” Although the ranch sat closer to Chico than the
village, it would still be a long tormented drive.

Dmitri chuckled and his blue eyes
gleamed. “If it involves the removal of clothing, then we're on the same page.”

We got into the Jeep and I found myself
exiting Chico via East Avenue to Highway 32. We sat in silence, windows cracked
as I drove out to a secluded spot where no outside lights would hinder the show
performed by the Cosmos.

Dmitri and I indulged in random small
talk covering topics from my small business venture to his family members and
their various quirks. Who knew little boys in Croatia grow up wanting to be
American cowboys?

When my turn neared, I slowed down and
turned from the highway onto a county road. No spoken words, just music from
the speakers.

Fifteen minutes passed before I slowed
down once more to enter the graveled back entry to my family's ranch. Situated
somewhere between Bayliss and Glenn, it had pasture, fields, woodlot and a
large pond. One of my favorite memories was when Grampa would take me bass
fishing in the wee hours of the morning out at that pond. I got the job of
digging up worms from the compost pile to use as bait-- a favorite would-be
career to a grubby seven year old. Lessons one cannot learn another way were
learned on the edge of that pond. Things like the ever-turning wheel of life,
the seasons and how completely the animal kingdom is tied to the earth. But my
favorite lesson of all was astronomy.

On my eighth birthday, Grampa gifted me
with a handmade Dobsonian telescope. With it, I explored as much of the night
sky above the pond as I could, when I could. Grounding me for punishment didn't
work. Taking away the telescope worked better than Grampa could imagine.

The secluded pond is where I go to
relax, ponder or do heavy thinking.

A stand of cottonwood formed a grotto
surrounded by wild grape and blackberry vines a good stone throw's away from
the north side of the pond. Fern, wildflowers and grass made the carpet inside
the grotto. Frogs croaked their songs while crickets chirped. Every now and
again, a barn owl would hoot a who-hoo? into the night. Mallards swam on the
pond beyond the wall of trees during daylight hours. Blackberry grotto happened
to be my favorite place in the world and I wanted to share it with Dmitri. As a
kid, it was my castle. As a teen, a hideout. As an adult its my secret lair, if
you will.

I left my shoes in the car as I exited.
Heels on gravel in general isn't a good combination. In the dark, potentially
lethal. In the Jeep's back, a rolled up sleeping bag rested. I nabbed it. “Come
on.”

Dmitri got out of the vehicle and asked
with a quirked eyebrow, “Do you always keep that in there?”

“You mean the sleeping bag?”

He nodded.

“Yeah, of course. I also have two
gallons of water, a box of MREs and a roadside emergency kit. Don't think
you're that special.” Had to keep him on his toes.

I smirked.

“Fair enough.” He caught up to my side
to reach for my empty hand.

We walked in silence to the grotto's
center. Moonlight bathed the area. Dmitri took the sleeping bag from me,
unrolled and unzipped it to spread it upon the ground. I waited until he kicked
his shoes off before settling down on the portable bedding.

He and I both sat cross-legged on
flannel, clumps of fern partially hid us from view. I rested my head upon his
shoulder while his arm wrapped around me. There was something so right about
he, I and the night. I didn't want to break the spell that seemed to blanket us
in the little tree grove.

Dmitri's voice finally broke the
silence. “So, do we stargaze or was that a pretense for mischief? You have
ulterior motives tonight. I can tell.”

“Why, you aiming to misbehave?” Because
I'm way okay with that. “And about ulterior motives... who needs them?”
Granted, my lust was probably visible but I was content for him to set the
pace... for now.

Dmitri cleared his throat. “If all I
wanted was to misbehave, we'd be shacked up in a motel room with a mirror on
the ceiling right now.”

“So you have more on your mind than the
obvious? Color me stoked.”

I felt him hold back a chuckle. “You
don't make things easy, do you?”

“If things were easy, you'd get bored. I
know your modus operandi. My momma didn't raise a fool.”

“How is she doing?”

“My mom?”

He smiled and nodded. God knows why.

“She's good. Just went through another
divorce... this is her fourth one. Says she's going to lay low and avoid men
for a while. But she's the same tree hugging Trekkie she always was.”

“That's good to hear.”

My mind was abuzz with the continued
small talk. I mean, we were alone in a place that gave us a feast for the eyes.
The magic from dinner seemed to fade, and now... he's asking about my mom. Not
sure if that was good or bad. Maybe I shouldn't have given him the choice and
just whisked Dmitri to a hotel. Had I done that, I'd be getting laid right now
instead of fielding questions about my mother.

Dmitri shifted and laid down. “Come on,
you said stargazing...” and moved his arm so I could snuggle with him below the
canopy of celestial splendor. Venus shone bright in the sky. I couldn't help
but think it was appropriate... that the planet named for the goddess of love
looked down upon us tonight.

I pointed to a star-like object in the
sky. “That dot is Jupiter.” I pointed out another spot in the cosmos. “And that
one is Mars.” Then my finger showed the way to the brightest star in the sky.
“That one is Venus. I should have packed my telescope so you could get up close
and personal to space rocks.”

Dmitri's hand sought out mine. “Why do
you love the night sky so much, Kaylis?”

In silence I sat, pondering how I would
answer. After a moment or two, I spoke, quietly at first. “Two reasons. The
first being that no matter where I was, the stars were there. I lived on this
ranch for five years with my grandparents when my mom went off doing her thing.
When she came back, we moved into town... but even though I was back with her
the stars were ever the same. It was a gift my grandfather gave me, he taught
me about the stars. That no matter where I am, those twinkling lights above are
still there, just like when I lived with my grandparents and knew stability for
once.

“The second reason is because it puts
things into perspective to me. That we, Earth that is, are so small in the
scheme of things, but so splendorous. A tiny grain of sand on a vast cosmic
beach.

“We don't matter in the greater scheme
of things, but because we are tiny fish in a tiny pond on a tiny island, all we
know and all we as a species do, is focus on this tiny little dot in the middle
of nowhere. That an animal such as the human species can do so much in so many
ways but be hampered by our own narcissism and limitations that as a species,
we can't overcome. There will always be a percentage of the population that
isn't cohesive with the rest of society. Sickos, rapists and people like that.
Those who get off on powertrips... they taint us as a species. They are the
ones that remind us of our bestial nature, of a nature that we can't escape
from, no matter our scientific or societal advances.

“You know, if it poured rain for forty
days, it wouldn't matter if some guy rode a raft to some mountainous island
high above the water line... one good asteroid would wipe that mountain and all
survivors from the face of the earth. Seriously, the planet would be at square
one of its evolution. Four billion years of constant tweaking on this antfarm,
gone in a blink. The night sky holds the trump card. I can totally respect
that. Plus, it's a time machine-- a natural made time machine we take for
granted. When we look to the sky and see those stars and planets... that light
is already minutes old. Sunlight that warms the Earth, to feed the crops we
eat, to help us produce Vitamin D... it's all from a celestial time machine.
That's just cool to me.”

Dmitri squeezed my hand gently and then
brought it to his lips so he could place a kiss on the back. “I knew you were
smart... never knew you were so deep though. That's like Stephan Hawking-kind
of intelligent.”

As I blushed at his extravagant compliment,
I turned my head to smile at him. “Thanks...told you before, homefry. I am me,
and me alone. And I am nowhere near Hawking. Or Sagan. But thank you for the
vote of confidence.”

Dmitri's arm tightened around me and I
turned my face up to his. As soon as I closed my eyes to blink, his lips sought
mine for too-brief a moment.

“Have you heard anything from your ex
who got hit with the restraining order?” Dmitri's lips were scant inches from
my own. I'd rather occupy them with kisses than speak of a bad memory.

I sighed deeply. “No. Since he's in the
Bay Area and I'm up here... I guess he took the hint.” A hard knot formed in my
throat. “I'm okay with that. I...I...I don't ever want to see him again. Some
wounds take longer than others to heal, I guess.” Of all the things to talk
about on what was once a hot date, this particular topic had an ice-water-like
quenching effect on my lust. “But one day I'll grow brass balls and so forth
where he's concerned. For now, as long as he stays there and I'm up here with
utter and complete separation... I'm good. In fact, I'm awesome.” I punctuated
with a smile.

Dmitri looked at me for a long moment
with a calculating look in his eye. What was he thinking about? Could I even
guess? His choice of questioning tonight pretty much derailed my seduction
train. “You know, one of the things I love about you, Kaylis, is that you have
a light inside. You are one of those people who can go through hell and still
see the silver lining even if it's a bit tarnished. But there are places in you
that the light doesn't dare shine and you have a habit of visiting those dark
places... even when you aren't aware of it. I hope that light never leaves you.
I'd hate to see what those dark places would do to you if they ever took over.”

He loved me? Friend/buddy love or what?
I love him, have for a long time. But I squelched that longing because I didn't
want to push Dmitri away by wanting too much from our friendship. But he loves
me? Dare I hope its more than platonic bliss?