A Touch Morbid (12 page)

K
risten closed an eye and dusted from lashes to brow bone with a deep maroon shadow. It didn’t do much to slow her hammering heart. Luke’s show at Aerie would be over by now. She recited half a dozen poems from memory, the cadence of the words soothing her.

After a second layer of mascara, she studied herself in the mirror.

The image was striking. She’d grown used to her thrown-together look, the lack of makeup. Of effort. The fact that she was making the effort for Luke didn’t raise any feelings of guilt. This was about false promises of things he couldn’t have. Simply playing a game. And if brushing her hair and wearing a tight top gave her an advantage, Kristen would work the angle. Luke didn’t have many weaknesses to prey upon.

There were no other options without Gabriel. Already her mind had started to crumble again. She hadn’t let Luke in enough to gift herself more than a day or two of sanity.

And they both knew it.

“If Gabriel would answer his damnable phone,” Kristen mumbled to her reflection, one finger stretching her eyelid, applying liner with a heavy hand.
It’s been weeks. He knows you’re struggling. He must. He doesn’t care
. She ignored the voice. “When he finds out how bad he let things get, he’ll never leave again.” She knew she sounded like a petulant child, didn’t care.

Luke, however, had answered her earlier phone call on the first ring.

She stared at herself for another long second.

“Keep yourself together,” she whispered to the girl in the mirror. The lips moved along with hers, but Kristen wasn’t sure if the girl in the image was acquiescing or mocking.

She lifted her phone from the vanity with a shaking hand, texted Sebastian: “Not to be bothered tonight.”

She stabbed Gabriel’s number on the speed dial in one last Hail Mary chance.

“Please,” she whispered. It rang twice and went to voice mail.

“You’re angry,” she pleaded into the phone after the beep. “Want me punished? I promise, I’m punished. I’m more sorry than you could ever dream.” Her stomach felt too hollow, empty. She softened her tone. “Gabe. Where
are
you?”

She hung up, tossed the phone aside. Eden would have gone after Az anyway that morning. So Kristen had given her every bit of Touch she’d had. And not only for Eden. Because Kristen’s first thought had been Gabriel. How much it would hurt him to lose Az to the Fallen. For a bitter moment she wondered what he’d do if he lost
her
to the Fallen.

Kristen pulled her knees up, hugging them to her chest. Deep inside her, things were breaking.
He is losing me to the Fallen
, she realized.

The floorboards creaked softly outside her door.

She slipped off the bed and crossed the room. At least Luke had done her the favor of using the back entrance. She lifted her hand, pressed it against the wood without opening it. From the other side there was only silence. It was her last chance to pull out.

She turned the knob.

Luke stood in the dark hall, his guitar case by his side. She’d been right in guessing that he’d come straight from the show. She could smell the club on him—sweat and smoke and sex—the scents of the crowd.

She staggered back, giving him a stiff nod. He stepped farther into the room and set the black case near the door, then stooped down to unlace his heavy combat boots. He lifted his head as he slipped out of them.

They stood, staring at each other. Luke’s smile flared and then faded, a gift he offered only to take away. Everything about him was at ease.

Except for his eyes. Those drank her in with a thirst she wasn’t prepared for. “How’s it been, my little oubliette?”

“Oubliette? A
dungeon
? You’re losing your touch, Luke.” She let out a condescending laugh, ignored the flutter in her stomach. “A one-night stand doesn’t exactly qualify as imprisonment.”

“A one-night stand doesn’t typically last three months,” he shot back. “You’re right, though. The word is all wrong.” His fingers, calloused from playing, brushed her hair back, tucking the waves behind her ear. She meant to throw a hand up on his chest, enough to push him back a pace. Her fingers gripped his shoulder. “See, an oubliette is something meant to be forgotten.” His hand wound across the back of her neck and pulled her closer. “But I remember every delicious detail of you,” he murmured.

Her breath caught, and she dropped her hand from his shoulder. “It’s been a year,” she said quickly. “God knows you’ve moved on.”

He didn’t break her gaze. “God knows nothing.”

Kristen shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.
You’re not looking to rehash a fling
, she chastised herself. She took a breath to calm her nerves and then let out a disgusted sigh. “Bored without the blonde? Libby? That’s her name, right?” She cocked her head, her tone venomous as she covered her mouth lightly with her hand. “Oops! I guess I should say that
was
her name.”

The twinkle slid from Luke’s eyes. He went eerily still. “That was business, Kristen. You of all people know sometimes we have to play nice to get what we want.” She heard his coat hit the floor and then his body pressed against hers, an inferno. His hands slid down through her hair. His mouth grazed her neck before rising to her ear. “Aren’t we here to play nice?”

“Business.” Her voice shook. Inside the safety of her pocket, her fingernails cut into her palm.
Don’t let him play you. You know how to work him
, she reminded herself. “We’re here for business.”

“Hmm.” His lips hummed again her neck. “So you honestly don’t miss us?”

She couldn’t move. “It was a lapse in judgment.”

“A bad dream you found it safer to forget,” he mocked. “You and I? We had a good thing.”

“It was a lapse,” she repeated carefully, “in judgment.”

From her left, she heard a pop, a crackling like a firework on half volume. She opened her eyes and turned toward the sound, confused. Somewhere near the back of her skull, a dull noise started. A flutter of words she couldn’t quite make out. The room flexed almost imperceptibly.

“Stop,” she whispered.

Luke’s hands stilled instantly. The thrill of whatever game they’d been playing, the back and forth, fell away. “Kristen?”

The whispers intensified, a white wall of sound suddenly rushing to take over. Her eyelids fluttered, heat rushing to her cheeks in a panicked flush. She couldn’t catch her breath.

“Look at you!” Luke squeezed the sides of her face. “They left you doomed and clueless, and
I’m
the enemy?”

“What are you talking about, ‘doomed’?” She tried to focus on Luke, but a dozen thoughts cascaded through her mind. He had to know she was in a tiff with Gabriel, because of her state, but that didn’t qualify as doomed. Death couldn’t touch her. Neither the Fallen nor the Bound could kill Siders. The Bound didn’t even know about them.
Unless they found out
, a voice whispered.

He let her go, strode across the room, and sat on the bed as a terrible thought struck her. What if Gabriel wasn’t ignoring her calls because he was angry?

“Clueless about what, Luke?” If the Bound knew Gabriel kept the Siders’ secrets over his commitment to them, they’d have him punished. Confined. “Damn it, answer me!”

He patted the space on the quilt beside him. “Sit.”

Her unease shifted to dread as she did.

Luke toyed with her rings, twirling them along her fingers, before he pulled them off one by one. The rubies on her middle finger stuck on her knuckle as they always did. She lifted her finger to her mouth, wetting the ring enough to slip it off. She added it to the pile in Luke’s hand. He stripped the bands from her other hand.

“It’s been a while since we’ve played,” he said quietly. “You remember?”

She nodded. Each ring worth a question and an honest answer. A game. She glanced down at the pile of metal and jewels in his hand. Five questions, five answers. Luke met her eyes.

“Ask.”

She hesitated. He would answer the questions, but he’d be getting his own information from what she asked.

“Do the Bound know about the Siders?”

He took her hand and carefully slid the gaudy emerald onto her finger. “Yes.”

She gasped, trying to pull her hand away and stand. Luke held on. If the Bound knew about the Siders, they’d be trying to find a way to eradicate them.
And Gabriel?
Kristen thought, her horror turning to shame. He hadn’t called her back because
he
was in trouble. She covered her face with her free hand. She’d thought he was angry and petty, and he was probably worried sick about her. “Let me go.”

“No.” Luke’s tone stopped her dead. His dark eyes glittered like the gems. “We’re not done.”

She had to use the questions she had left to gain the most information. “Do the Bound know how to kill us?”

“No.” Her head tilted in surprise as he slid the ring on. “Ask me how I knew you weren’t being helped.” He didn’t bother with the rings, answered anyway. “You didn’t call me in the park. I’ve been keeping an eye on you, waiting.” He didn’t look away as he said it.

“If the Bound know of the Siders, they know Gabriel wasn’t telling them. He’s being punished. And you,” she spat. “You waited for me to get sick so you could play games?”

He shook his head, adding another ring to her hand. “He must have suffered so much to keep his secrets. To stay,” he said as he looked up at her. “You can’t believe he’d let the Bound keep him from you.”

She drew a shallow breath, enough air to speak the words. “What have you done to Gabriel?”

“Not a thing. We played the same roles for millennia, he and I, and nothing had ever changed,” he said. The gold band was back on her thumb. “No one can force a Fall.”

“He… No.” She yanked her hands from his, stumbling away. She made it to the chair, clutched the back of it.
Get it together
, a voice said stubbornly.
You’re showing him all your weakness. He’ll break you with it
.

Luke’s leg bounced, energy finding its way out. “He confessed. A murder, at his hands.”

“It’s not possible. There must have been a mistake.” She wanted him to be lying so badly she ached.

It hit her. Sudden terror. Gabriel. Fallen. She couldn’t catch her breath, swayed against the chair, her hands clenching the armrest in a death grip. If she could get Luke to say it, smile and say
All a bad joke; I find your gullibility so amusing
. “You swear to me, Luke. You swear to me you’re not lying.”

“I swear on all that I am.”

“I want to see him.” She couldn’t bear to move.

“Kristen, that’s not a good idea. He can’t control his impulses. He’s unstable.” It was written all over his face; he’d say no and leave and she’d never find Gabriel on her own. Not in the city.

“Luke, give me this one thing.” An idea blossomed, a desperate, dangerous thought. One that would have broken Gabriel’s heart to know she offered Lucifer. She dropped her eyes to the bed.

On the comforter lay the last ring. She held it up.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Yes,” he said. She held out her hand and Luke pushed the ring on.

The static of voices had gone silent. A tiny bead of sweat rolled down the back of her neck. “How do I find Gabriel?”

“No ring.” Luke’s eyes burned black, hungry. “You don’t get an answer.”

Kristen’s heart hammered in her chest. She could almost hear Gabe’s voice in her head screaming at her to stop, not to do it. She licked her lips and blurted out the words before she could let him talk her out of it. “If you answer me, I’ll owe you.”

Luke’s irises swirled an oily sheen, a frenzied moan breaking from him. “That’s open-ended, Kristen.” His tone was a warning, an out.

One she couldn’t heed.

“You tell me where to find Gabriel, and I’ll owe you one favor.”

Luke stared at her for a full minute before he spoke again. “He rides the trains.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“It won’t help, Kristen. You can’t get him back.”

“He made me a promise. I have faith in him.”

His laugh sent ice down her spine. “You’re better than blind faith. I can help you. Let me take care of you.”

She kept her head held high, looked him dead in the eye. “Never.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said, gathering his boots as he opened the door. He blew her a kiss from the threshold.

“Never,” Kristen whispered to the empty room.