A Tricky Proposition (14 page)

Jason had never shopped for a Christmas or birthday present without her help, and Ming was obviously having a hard time wrapping her head around what he’d accomplished in such a short time.

“Do you like it?” he prompted, surprised by how much he wanted her approval.

“It’s perfect.”

*

Nestled in Jason’s arms, Ming wouldn’t have believed it was possible to fall any deeper in love with him, but at that moment she did. The room had been crafted with loving care by a guy who was as comfortable in a department store as a cat in a kennel of yapping dogs.

He was an amazing man and he would be a terrific father. She was lucky to have such a good friend.

Jason’s arms tightened. “I’m glad you like the room. It turned out better than I expected.”

“I love you.” The courage to say those words had been building in her ever since Jason told her he wanted to go public about his part in her pregnancy. She’d always been truthful with Jason. She’d be a fool and a coward to hide something so important from him.

He tensed.

She gestured at the room. “Seeing this, I thought…” Well, that wasn’t true. She’d been reacting emotionally to Jason’s decision to be an active father and to his decorating this room to surprise her. “I want to be more than your best friend. I want to be a family with you and our baby.”

Fear that he’d react badly didn’t halt her confession. As her love for him strengthened with each day that passed, she knew she was going to bare her soul at some point. It might as well be sooner so they could talk it through. “I know that’s not what you want to hear,” she continued. “But I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with just being your best friend.”

When his mouth flattened into a grim line, Ming pulled free of his embrace. Without his warmth, she was immediately chilled. She rubbed her arms, but the cold she felt came from deep inside.

“Evan knew how you felt, didn’t he?” Jason made it sound like an accusation. “Tonight. He told me you weren’t as in love with him as I thought.”

“Why did he tell you that?”

“I assumed because he was justifying falling for Lily.”

“I swear I never gave him any reason to suspect how I felt about you. I couldn’t even admit it to myself until I saw you crash. You’ve always been so determined not to fall in love or get married.” Ming’s eyes burned as she spoke. “I knew you’d never let yourself feel anything more for me than friendship, so I bottled everything up and almost married your brother because I was completely convinced you and I could never be.”

He was silent a long time. “I haven’t told you what happened with Evan tonight.”

“Is he okay?”

“When I got to his house I found him on the floor with an empty bottle of painkillers beside him. I thought he was so upset over Lily refusing to marry him that he tried to kill himself.”

Ming’s heart squeezed in sympathy. The wound he’d suffered when he’d found his father in the garage with the car running had cut deeper than anyone knew. The damage had been permanent. Something Jason would never be free from.

“Did he?” She’d been with Evan for three years and had never seen any sign of depression, but Jason’s concern was so keen, she was ready to believe her ex-fiancé had done something to harm himself.

“No. He’d only taken a couple.” A muscle jumped in Jason’s jaw. He stared at the wall behind her, his gaze on a distant place. “I’ve never seen him like this. He’s devastated that Lily turned him down.”

“They’re not us.”

“What does that mean?” Annoyance edged his voice, warning her that he wasn’t in the mood to listen.

She refused to be deterred. “Just because they might not be able to make it work doesn’t mean we can’t.”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to take the risk.” He gripped her hands and held on tight.

“Have you considered what will happen if we go down that road and it doesn’t work out between us? You could come to hate me. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

Ming had thought about it, but she had no easy answer. “I don’t want to lose you, either, but I’m struggling to think of you as just my best friend. What I feel for you is so much deeper and stronger than that.”

And here’s where things got tricky. She could love Jason to the best of her ability, but he was convinced that loving someone meant opening up to overwhelming loss, and she couldn’t force him to accept something different. But she could make him face what he feared most.

“I love you,” she said, her voice brimming with conviction. “I need you to love me in return. I know you do. I feel it every time you touch me.” She paused to let her words sink in. “And because we love each other, whether you want to admit it or not, our friendship is altered. We’re no longer just best friends. We’re a whole lot more.”

Through her whole speech he regarded her with an unflinching stare. Now he spoke. “So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying what you’re trying to preserve by not moving our relationship forward no longer exists.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw as he stared at her. Silence surrounded them.

“Is this an ultimatum?”

Was it? When she started, she hadn’t meant it to be.

“No. It’s a statement of intent. Our friendship as it once was is over. I love you and I want us to be a family.”

“And if I don’t accept that things have to change?”

She made no attempt to hide her sadness. “Then we both lose.”

*

Half an hour after her conversation with Jason, Ming plopped onto her window seat and stared at the dark backyard. She didn’t bother changing into a nightgown and sliding between the sheets. What was the point when there was no way she was going to be able to sleep? Her conversation with Jason played over and over in her mind.

Could she have handled it better? Probably not. Jason was never going to relish hearing the truth. He liked their relationship exactly the way it was. Casual. Comfortable. Constant. No doubt he’d resent her for shaking things up.

Dawn found her perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, her gaze on the pool in her backyard. She cradled a cup of coffee in her hands.

“You’re up early.” Lily entered the kitchen and made a beeline for the cupboard where she kept the ingredients for her healthy breakfast shake. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“You’re an idiot.” Ming knew it wasn’t fair to take her frustration out on her sister, but Lily was throwing away love.

Her sister leaned back against the countertop. “Good morning to you, too.”

“I’m sorry.” Ming shook her head. Her heart hurt. “I’m sitting here thinking how lucky you are that Evan wants to marry you. And it just makes me so mad that you turned him down.”

“Are you sure that’s what you’re mad about?”

Ming blinked and focused her gaze on Lily. “Of course.”

“The whole time you were with Evan I was miserable.”

Seeing where her sister was going, Ming laughed. “And you think I’m unhappy because Evan loves you?”

“Are you?”

“Not even a little.”

“Then why are you so upset?”

With shaky hands, Ming set her cup down and rubbed her face. “I’m pregnant.”

After all the arguments she’d had with her sister, the last thing Ming expected was for Lily to rush over and hug her. Ming’s throat closed.

“Aren’t you going to scold me for doing the wrong thing?” Ming asked.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so unsupportive. It wasn’t fair of me to impose my opinions on you. I’m really happy for you.” Lily sounded sincere. “Why didn’t you didn’t tell me you’d gone to the clinic?”

“Because I didn’t go.”

“Then how…?” Lily’s eyes widened. “Jason?”

“Yes.” Ming couldn’t believe how much it relieved her to share the truth.

“Have you thought about what this is going to do to Evan?” It was natural that this would be Lily’s reaction. She loved Evan and wanted to protect him.

“I was more worried about it before I knew he’d moved on with you.” Ming crossed her arms. “But now you’ve turned down his proposal, and neither Jason nor I want to keep his involvement a secret.”

“Why did you have to pick Jason?” Lily shook her head.

Ming refrained from asking Lily why Evan had picked her. “When I decided to have a baby, I wasn’t keen on having a stranger’s child. Jason understood, and because he’s my best friend, he agreed to help.”

“So you slept with him.”

Ming’s cheeks grew warm. “Yes.”

“Does that mean you two are a couple?”

“No. As much as I want more, I understood that us being together was a temporary thing. Once I got pregnant, we’d stop.”

“But now you’re in love with him.” Not a question, a statement. “Does he know?”

“I told him last night.”

Lily squeezed Ming’s hands. “How did he react?”

“Exactly how I’d expected him to.” Ming put on her bravest smile. “He has his reasons for never falling in love.”

“What are you talking about? He loves you.”

“I know, but he won’t admit to anything stronger than friendship.”

“A friend he wants to sleep with.” Lily’s smile was wry.

“We have some pretty fabulous chemistry.” The chuckle that vibrated in Ming’s chest was bittersweet. “But he won’t let it become anything more.”

“Oh, Ming.”

“It’s not as if I didn’t know how he feels.” Ming slid off her stool and looped her arm through Lily’s. She tugged her sister toward the stairs. “It just makes it that much more important for you to accept Evan’s proposal.” Closing her ears to her sister’s protests, Ming packed Lily an overnight bag and herded her into the garage. “One of us deserves to be madly in love.”

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of Evan’s house. The longing on Lily’s face told Ming she’d been right to meddle. She scooped up her sister’s overnight bag and breezed up the front walk, Lily trailing slowly behind.

“Are you sure about this?” Lily questioned as they waited for Evan to answer the door.

“Positive. What a horrible sister I would be to stand in the way of your happiness.”

Evan opened his door and leaned on it. He looked gray beneath his tan. “Ming? What are you doing here?”

“My sister tells me she turned down your marriage proposal.”

His gaze shot beyond Ming to where Lily lingered at the bottom of his steps, but he said nothing.

Not being able to fix what was wrong in her own love life didn’t mean she couldn’t make sure Lily got her happily-ever-after. “She claims she turned you down because she thinks I would be hurt, but I’m moving on with my life and I don’t want to be her excuse for not marrying you.” Ming fixed her ex-fiancé with a steely gaze. “Do you promise you’ll love her forever?”

“Of course.” Evan was indignant.

Fighting to keep her composure intact, Ming headed down the steps to hug her sister. Confident they were out of Evan’s hearing, she whispered, “Don’t you dare come home until you’ve got an engagement ring on your finger.”

Lily glanced at Evan. “Are you going to take your own advice and go talk to Jason?”

Ming shook her head. “Too much has happened over the last few days. We both need some time to adjust.”

“He’ll come around. You’ll see.”

But Ming didn’t see. She merely nodded to pacify her sister. “I hope you’re right.”

Finding Evan passed out last night had reaffirmed to Jason how much better off he was alone. After such a powerful incident, Ming was convinced he’d never change his mind.

*

“Hey, Dad.” It was late Sunday morning when Jason opened his front door and found his father standing there. “What’s up?”

“Felt like having lunch with you.”

From his father’s serious expression, Jason wondered what he was in for, but he grabbed his keys and locked the house. “Where to?”

“Where else?”

They drove to his dad’s favorite restaurant, where the pretty brunette hostess greeted Tony by name and flirted with him the whole way to the table.

“She’s young enough to be your daughter,” Jason commented, eyeing his father over the menu.

Tony chuckled. “She’s young enough to be my granddaughter. And there’s nothing going on. I love my wife.”

When Tony had first announced that he was marrying Claire, Jason had a hard time believing his father had let himself fall in love again. But he’d reasoned that fifteen years of grieving was more than enough for anyone, and there was no question that Claire made his father happy. But his father’s optimistic attitude toward love didn’t stop Jason from wondering what would happen if Claire left.

Would his father collapse beneath the weight of sadness again? There was no way to know, and Jason hoped he never had to find out. “So, what’s on your mind, Dad?”

“I spoke with Evan earlier today. Sounds like he and Lily are engaged.”

“Since when?”

“Since this morning. Apparently Ming dropped her sister off and told her not to come home until she was engaged.” Tony grinned. “I always loved that girl.”

“Good for Evan. He was pretty beat up about Lily last night.”

“He said you weren’t doing too great, either.”

Jason grimaced. “I found Evan on his living room floor, an empty bottle of pain pills next to him and I assumed…”

“That he’d tried to kill himself the way I had when you were fifteen.” Tony looked older than his sixty-two years. The vibrancy had gone out of his eyes and the muscles in his face were slack. “That was the single darkest moment of my life, and I’m sorry you had to be the one to experience it with me.”

“If I hadn’t you’d be dead.” They’d never really talked about what had happened. As a teenager Jason had been too shocked by almost losing a second parent to demand answers. And since Evan had been away at college, the secret had remained between Jason and his father while questions ate away Jason’s sense of security.

“Looking back, I can’t believe I allowed myself to sink so low, but I wasn’t aware that I needed help. All I could see was a black pit with steep sides that I couldn’t climb out of. Every day the hole seemed deeper. The company was months away from layoffs. I was taking my professional worries out on your mother, and that was eating me up. Then the car accident snatched her and Marie away from us. I was supposed to have driven them to the dress rehearsal for Marie’s recital that night, but I was delayed at the office.” Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds before resuming. “Those files could have waited until morning. If I had put my family first, they might still be alive. And in the end, all my work came to nothing. The job we’d bid went elsewhere and the company was on the verge of going under. I was to the point where I couldn’t live with my failure as a husband, father or businessman.”