A Trip Back to Snowy Pines (Book II in the Christmas Village Trilogy) (6 page)

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about the
baby.” Lola blurted out as tears swam in her eyes again.

“It’s okay.” He said, wrapping his arms
tightly around her.

“No, it’s not okay! We… don’t keep secrets.
With everyone else in my life I always had to hide things… parts of
myself so I didn’t get hurt, but you were the one person I always
trusted with all my secrets. I shouldn’t have kept it from you. We
don’t keep secrets from each other.” She gulped between sobs.

Chris was quiet for a long moment, waiting
until her tears subsided before he said seriously, “Maybe we do.
There’s something I’ve never told you.”

Lola took a deep breath and then nodded, and
he began to speak. “Do you remember right after we got married, we
had that stomach virus that almost killed us and then you didn’t
get better for like three weeks so finally you took a pregnancy
test and it turned blue?”

Lola nodded breathlessly as she listened to
him describe the day that they found out that they were having
Ethan.

“For twenty-four hours there was a baby
coming. I was totally sure it was a boy. And then you saw a doctor
the next day and it was a false positive and suddenly there was no
more baby. I never told you… because you were nineteen and in
nursing school, but I wanted that baby. I’ve always wondered what
would have happened if we’d been pregnant. I’d already figured that
I’d graduate from college before he was born and the bank was after
me to go into management. We would have been okay.” He finished
sadly.

“You wouldn’t have been a lawyer.” Lola said
in a small voice. “It was your dream.”

“You were my dream. Us together raising a
family was my dream… being a lawyer was just the best way to
provide for that dream. Lola I could be the kind of father I didn’t
have, the kind you didn’t have. That’s always been my dream.” He
sighed. “I love our life. Like I said before, the only life I’ve
ever been supposed to have is the life I have with you. But over
the years I’ve wondered what it would have been like if we’d really
been pregnant then. I’ve watched the dads with the little boys on
their shoulders, or playing catch in the front yard and I’ve wished
it was me. Is that pathetic? I have so many daddy issues that I
want to be one? I don’t know and I don’t even care anymore. I want
a baby with you.”

“I want a baby with you too.” Lola said, as
she began crying again. “I wanted that baby with you!” She said
picturing the look on Chris’s face when they’d laid Ethan in her
arms for the first time, when they’d put together his tricycle
beside the Christmas tree… laughing and whispering as they figured
out how to turn the millions of tiny pieces into something they’d
let their son ride. She remembered holding her breath as Chris
waited under the diving board for him to jump into their
neighborhood pool, and holding Chris’s hand as they let go of his
big-boy bike and he took off on his own. They’d been
head-over-heels in love with one another since the day they met,
and they’d both been head-over-heels in love with Ethan from the
moment they knew he was coming into the world. How could she have
doubted for one moment that Chris would choose his family over any
career move? What’s worse, how could she, the woman who loved him
most in the world ever try to deny him that choice?

“I love you Christopher Ethan McCauley. I
love everything about you, and everything about our life, but I
would have loved that life too because I would love any life that I
get to live with you! And I trust you with all my secrets and all
my fears and all my choices forever.” She vowed, kissing him long
and well before adding, “And if the roads are at all passable
tomorrow I want to go home… I want to see my mama and tell her that
I love her and I forgive her for every bad choice she ever made
because at the end of the day I never doubted that she loved me,
and every bad choice she made, made me who I am and who I am is who
you love… so how could I be anything less than happy with
that?”

Chapter 5

“Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches
so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole,
doesn't he?”… Clarence Oddbody

“Is the baby okay?” Lola asked as she hovered
somewhere between consciousness and oblivion.

“Yes.” Chris answered solemnly. “She’s fine…
fifteen weeks fine. How are you? What do you remember?”

“There was a gun. And a kid working there? Is
he okay?” She asked, struggling to sit but held down by what she
realized what an IV.

“He’s fine. After you fainted he got just the
rush of adrenaline he needed to get out of the floor and hop to the
phone. He called 911, they got you here and called your mom and she
called us. You’ve been unconscious for about four hours.”

“Am I at UMMC?”

He nodded.

“And why have I been unconscious for so
long?”

“They said you were dehydrated and severely
anemic which caused your electrolytes to get out of balance.
They’ve been giving you fluids and iron. Your color is coming
back.”

“Is Ethan here?” She asked, feeling tears
threaten for the first time.

“He’s with your mom.”

“I’ll get him.” A nurse she recognized
vaguely said.

“Chris I know you’re mad at me and I know you
have a million questions, but please just give me a minute to see
Ethan and then I’ll tell you everything okay?”

“Mommy!”

“Oh! My beautiful boy.” She cried, hugging
him tightly with her one free arm. “I’ve missed you so much! I
never want to be away from you again!”

“It’s only been one day.” He argued, hugging
her with all of his five-year-old might.

“It’s been way too long.”

“Baby girl, you took twenty years off of my
life with this one.”

“I’m sorry mama. I love you though.” She said
reaching for her mama’s hand.

“Lola, I’ll get in all kind of trouble if I
get caught with all of them back here.” The nurse said
apologetically.

“We’ll be outside in the waiting room.” Mama
said, reaching for Ethan’s hand.

“Wait! I’ve got to tell mommy it snowed.”

“There was snow up at the mountain where you
and daddy were?” She asked, as he pulled again his grandma,
refusing to leave.

“No, it snowed here. Outside.”

“But it was so hot here.” She argued.

“It’s not hot now. It’s snowing!” He said
excitedly.

Lola thought back to Snowy Pines and she
smiled. “Of course it did. Now go with Grandma and I’ll see you in
a little bit.”

When they were gone she reached for Chris’s
hand. “One more thing and then I promise I’ll tell you everything,
but what happened to my car… and my Michael Kors handbag you got me
last Christmas and my IPhone?”

“As soon as the police got there and they got
you to the hospital and found out who you were, the boy told them
they’d stolen your car so they put out an ABP and caught them over
in West Virginia. The car’s temporarily impounded for evidence, but
we can get the rest of your stuff tomorrow at the police station
when we pick up the accident report.”

“Okay.” She said, sighing and then realizing
there was nowhere to go but on with the truth. “Chris the day I
found the letter from the dean of admissions I also found out I was
pregnant. I was upset that you hadn’t told me about applying and I
was upset because I wasn’t planning another baby yet and I was
upset that it was going to ruin your plans again… so I did the
dumbest thing I could have ever done. When I started I just wanted
enough time to clear my head, and figure out how to tell you but
the longer it went on the worse it got and… and you have every
right to hate me and never forgive me, but I realized… while I was
unconscious I know it sounds crazy but I had this dream and I
realized how wrong I was and how unfair. You are the best father in
the whole world and how, how could I ever think you’d be better off
doing anything than raising your babies and being with me. I’ve
never once in my life doubted how much you love me and Ethan and I
don’t know what came over me. But I’m so sorry and I love you so
much and even though you shouldn’t forgive me, you have to forgive
me because you’re the love of my life and the only life I ever want
to live is whatever life I’m living with you and… did you say
she?”

“I said she. They were doing a sonogram when
I got here and it was up on the screen before they could keep me
from seeing it. It’s a girl.”

“Please say you can forgive me.” Lola said in
a small voice.

“I can forgive you.” He answered. She sat up
as much as she could and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly. “I
can forgive you and I will, but I’m still really, really mad at you
right now! You didn’t tell me about a baby! You took Ethan and you
left me! And you made me think it was because of something I’d
done! You went traipsing out in the middle of the night into a
strange gas station with my baby in-utero! I’m very upset with
you!”

“Okay.” She said, refusing to let go him as
she planted small kisses below his ear. “You have every right to be
mad at me.”

“Hmmm… I’m getting less mad.” He said as she
kissed his neck. “Less mad.” He said finding her lips with his.
“God I’ve missed kissing you.”

***

“So I hear we’re having a girl?” Lola’s mama
asked, stepping behind the curtain.

“We are. Ethan is over the moon.”

“And Chris?”

“He’s over the moon too. He’s mad at me, but
we’ll get through it. We’ve loved each other almost as long as
we’ve been alive. No one knows me like Chris so he knows why I did
something stupid like this. He’ll forgive me. I’d forgive him.” She
said truthfully. She wondered if she would ever stop feeling guilty
for her mistakes, but she refused to let it rob of her of any more
time with her family. Kellany said trips to Snowy Pines always
included valuable lessons and if she’d learned anything it was that
she wanted a life with her husband, and that their life could never
be complete without their children.

“He’s a good one that Chris. You did good
baby girl.” She said, reaching for her hand.

“I did.” Lola admitted. “I’m making him go on
to law school though. I can work full time until she comes and go
back full-time after my maternity leave. He can keep working part
time at the bank. It’s not perfect, but Ethan was in day care and
he was fine. Chris insists that law school isn’t that important to
him, but I know how good he’d be at it and by the time Alison is
three he’ll be out and hopefully our financial situation will
improve greatly. I’ve decided the key to a good marriage – at least
the key to our marriage is helping each other make our dreams come
true. Making each other’s dreams ours. It’s a small sacrifice.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.”
Alice said, with eyes that looked suspiciously moist. “You know I’d
really like to help. I didn’t get to as much with Ethan. You were
younger and stubborn then. I can work my shifts at the nail salon
around yours and maybe she won’t have to spend too much time in
daycare. It’s better financially.”

“I agree with you.” Lola said, sitting up.
“But no smoking.”

“Yes ma’am.” Alice said with a mock
salute.

“So, I’m thinking that since we now know for
sure that this baby’s a girl, I can tell you that I want to name
her Alison.”

“As in Alice? After me?”

“You look so surprised. How many mothers do
you think I have? You’re it for me and Chris. So yes, I’m naming
her after you.”

She hugged her tightly. “Lola Catherine, I
don’t deserve you and I do not deserve that.”

“Mama, I’m going to let you in on a secret
that I’ve only just really figured out for myself. Being a mother
is hard. Now, I will be the first person to say that you weren’t
perfect… and things weren’t easy. But I’m not perfect either. And I
never doubted that you loved me. And I never didn’t know how to
love. That’s something. For a kid that’s everything. So yes, you
deserve to have your granddaughter named after you.”

“Well that means everything to me. So when
are you getting sprung from this joint?”

“Chris is at the police station filling out
some papers and then he and Ethan are coming back for me. I wish
you’d come home with us.”

“I’ll be there for Christmas day. You need to
be with your family. Don’t you worry about me.” She said with a
wink. “So does Alison have a middle name yet?”

“Yes, her middle name is Kelly.”

Alice gave her strange look and stepped back,
“Kelly? Whatever made you think of that?”

“You don’t like it? I love the name Kelly. I
always have. I think Allison Kelly is good. I like all the double
L’s.”

“We’ve never talked a lot about your father.”
Alice said, turning away from Lola as she spoke.

“You told me once that your divorce from your
first husband was just final. You were 21 and your car broke down
in Charlottesville. He picked you up and you ended up living with
him for about six weeks until you found out you were pregnant and
you waited till he was in the shower and took off with your car
that he’d fixed and two-hundred dollars from his wallet. I think
you hit all the pertinent details.”