A Very Merry Hockey Holiday (Assassins #6.5) (4 page)

After getting to the hotel later that night, he set his computer up and Skyped Audrey. Waiting for her to answer, he leaned back in his bed and grinned when his beautiful daughter’s face filled the screen. Her dusty brown hair was in curls down her shoulders, her eyes bright as she waved wildly at him.

“Daddy!”

He sat up, waving back at her. “Hello, my sweetheart. How’s Daddy’s girl?”

Her grin was unstoppable as she said, “Good! I made cupcakes today at the shop, and I’m bringing them to class tomorrow.”

“Wonderful, where is Mommy?”

“Right here,” Audrey said, coming into view. Her hair was in a messy bun, her eyes not as bright as he liked, and she wasn’t really smiling. It wasn’t the kind of smile he loved; it was a forced one.

“Hey, baby. I miss you two.”

“We miss you!” Penelope yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.

“We do,” Audrey agreed, her eyes lighting up a little bit. “Great game. We love watching you win, huh, Pennyloo?”

Penelope nodded quickly. “You’re so awesome, Daddy.”

That warmed his heart, but as he eyed his wife, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been crying. “Thank you, baby. You are too.”

“Duh! I’m Mommy’s baby!”

Audrey grinned at that, kissing Penelope’s temple before looking back at the camera.

“There is my true smile. I miss seeing it,” he admitted and Audrey looked down.

“Yeah, I need to smile more, huh?”

“Yeah!” Penelope agreed. “I love when you’re happy.”

“Me too,” Tate said as Audrey met his gaze.

“I’ll be happy once you’re home again,” she said, and he knew that wasn’t the truth. “Tell Daddy goodnight and that you love him. It’s time for bed. I let her stay up to talk to you. She missed you today, huh, sweetheart?”

Penelope nodded quickly as Tate said, “I miss you too, sweetheart. I’ll be home in two more sleeps.”

“I can’t wait!” she cheered.

“Me too,” Audrey said with a grin on her face, and he smiled back.

“I love you, Pennyloo, and I miss you,” he said and Penelope giggled.

“I miss you, Daddy! I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so,” she took in a deep breath and continued, “So so so so so so so so MUCH!!”

He grinned widely at her before kissing the camera. “I miss you more than that and then some. Now goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Night, Daddy,” she said before kissing the camera and then Audrey.

“I’ll be up in a few minutes, okay? Tuck in all your dolls,” she said and Tate chuckled.

Bedtime was a long, drawn-out process in the Odder household. It took Penelope at least ten minutes to tuck in all her dolls and then another ten minutes of a story before either Audrey or he had to lie with her, talking about their day. She hated to sleep and they didn’t mind catering to her needs. The perks of being the princess in the house.

Once Penelope hopped away, Audrey looked at the screen and tried to smile. “I figure when you get home, we’ll decorate. Christmas is right around the corner.”

He nodded. They had three weeks, but it was coming up quick. “Yeah, usually we are set up after Thanksgiving.”

She shrugged. “Yeah. Just haven’t been in the mood.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and then he decided he didn’t like this. “Audrey,” he said since she was looking down, picking at her nails.

She glanced up. “Yeah?”

He was tired of it all. If she wouldn’t do what needed to be done, he was going to do it. He was going to make her happy.

“Make an appointment.”

“Huh?” she asked, perplexed.

“Make an appointment for the in vitro. You want a baby; then we’ll get one.”

“Okay,” she answered and his brows came up.

That was entirely too easy.

“What?”

She smiled. “I already made the appointment yesterday. I just didn’t know if I should tell you because what if it doesn’t stick?”

His brows came together. “So you weren’t going to tell me?”

She shook her head. “I’ve already disappointed you enough.”

Letting out a long breath, he swore he was going to have words with his wife. “I am going to shake you, woman.”

She smiled. “Oh really?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod but without conviction. He wouldn’t lay a hand on her, but he wanted her to know he was annoyed. “You’ve not, in any way, disappointed me, my love. You have been a perfect wife. Great lover and the best mother imaginable.”

Her lips curved as she shook her head. “I’ve only given you one baby.”

“And she is enough, Audrey, honestly. You have made my life twenty times better. I was lost without you. So please, don’t ever say anything like that again, and also don’t hide things from me. I don’t like that.”

“I just want to make you happy,” she said, her eyes clouding with tears. He wanted to be there; he wanted to hold her and reassure her.

Clearing his throat, he smiled. “Audrey, baby, just looking at you makes me happy. You are my everything, baby.”

She smiled as she nodded. “You’re mine.”

“Good, now when is the appointment?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there.”

“You have a game.”

“I’ll fly in and fly back out. What time?”

“Eight thirty. Piper is getting Pennyloo and taking her to school since Fallon just had Emery and all.”

He nodded and then promised, “I’ll be there.”

Her face lit up. “That would be awesome. I’m scared.”

“Don’t be,” he said with a crooked grin. “I’ll be right beside you.”

“I love you,” she said, and as he watched a tear slowly roll down her face, his heart broke a little bit in his chest.

“I love you, baby,” he promised and he always would. “And, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s going to work. I can feel it in my bones.”

Another tear fell as she nodded. “I hope so.”

“It will,” he promised. “And what you want will be in your belly instead of under the tree.”

She let out a sob as she nodded, and he knew in his heart that this was going to work. It had to.

It just did.

All Audrey wanted for Christmas was to get pregnant.

It was actually on her list of things she wanted for Christmas. It also included a new pair of Louis Vuitton heels and maybe a purse. Oh, and she would really like a locket from Tiffany’s with Tate and Penelope’s picture in it. It was a short list, but at the top was having a baby. Which was really a gift for Tate.

He constantly reminded her that Penelope and she were enough, but she could see it in his eyes. He wanted what everyone else had and that was a lot of damn kids. She wanted that too. She had always wanted kids, but when she learned she couldn’t have them, she let it go. But then she got pregnant by the grace of God, and for the last five years, all she’d wanted was for it to happen again.

Not saying that Penelope wasn’t her world, because she was. Her sweet baby was everything she could ever have wished for. She was her mini me, but Audrey really did want to have another. Just one more. She wanted a sibling for Penelope. Maybe a sister like she had or even a brother. She didn’t care. She just wanted someone for Penelope to grow up with, but most of all, she wanted to be a complete woman.

Someone who could provide Tate with everything he wanted.

“You’re shaking,” he informed her, kissing her temple. She was lying on her back, her legs up in stirrups, waiting for the longest thirty minutes of her life to end. The doctor had just inserted the embryos into her, and she was praying to God one of them stuck. She’d had spent many sleepless nights researching this process and had driven herself mad with worry, but she had to believe in this for it to work. She had been sad for far too long, and if it didn’t work, then she would pick a surrogate.

They would have a baby.

Or maybe they would adopt?

She wasn’t sure, but she hoped this worked.

“Please, let this work,” she whispered to herself, but Tate was there, his arm wrapped around the top of her head, rubbing her jaw as his lips dusted her cheek.

“It will,” he whispered back, kissing her again, the hair on his jaw tickling her.

She closed her eyes as she sucked in a deep breath.

It would work.

Two weeks later, Audrey wasn’t so sure.

She just felt off. She was cramping and she was sure that she was miscarrying all of the babies they put in her. She wasn’t sure, but her hopes were down in the dumps. Not even seeing her precious, sweet daughter make cupcakes had lightened the mood. They had made Christmas cupcakes to take to the hospital Tate was volunteering at that afternoon. She loved when he did this, and she was even more excited that she and Penelope got to go. They were going to spoil the “sick babies,” as Penelope called them, and Audrey loved how excited her daughter was about going. But even standing there, watching as Tate and Penelope read to a couple little girls, she couldn’t smile.

Tomorrow was her appointment where they would do a blood test to see if she was pregnant. She kept telling herself she was, but it just didn’t seem real. Why was she cramping and hurting so bad? Some people said they experienced the same, but it wasn’t that common. She was going to make herself sick with worry, and what good would that do?

As she let out a long breath, Piper leaned into her and smiled.

“Stop.”

Audrey shook her head. She loved her best friend, but even right now, Piper couldn’t make her feel better. She wouldn’t feel better until she knew one way or another.

“It’s going to be fine,” Piper reassured.

“And what if it isn’t?”

“Then you try again, or you adopt, try a surrogate. There are other options.”

“I want to carry my own child,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. “I want to be the wife Tate deserves.”

“You are,” Piper said, squeezing her arm. “And I know for a fact he has told you that. So stop this. Be happy you have a healthy husband and daughter because some people don’t even get that.”

“I know, but—”

Lifting her daughter, Katarina, up on her hip, Piper shook her head. “No, no but, you’ve been doing this for far too long. Look around, Audrey. These people are fighting for their children, begging the good Lord above to save them so they can keep loving them, and you have it all. You have a loving husband, a gorgeous daughter, and they are healthy. What else do you really need? You’re being selfish and hurting yourself. The stress and the depression are going to have you pushing up daisies, and then Tate and Pennyloo will be alone. Do you want that?”

Audrey swallowed hard as she blinked back the tears. Her heart hurt because Piper was right. She was being selfish. She had everything she could ever want. A successful business, family that loved her, and like Piper said, a husband and daughter who thought she hung the moon and the stars. She was blessed. To the extreme. And maybe instead of wanting more, she should be grateful for what she had. She wasn’t even supposed to have been able to have kids, and she’d been convinced she would never find a man to love her because of it, but Tate loved her without children. He loved her no matter what.