A Village Feud (2 page)

‘Mmm. I see. He’s right, I suppose, but it’s put me in a fix. So, if I could just stay here until then?’ Grandmama looked pleadingly at Harriet.

‘Why?’

‘Why? I have put up with just as much as any grown woman should be asked to put up with. The Reverend Anna has taken over my home. Almost every stick and stone of it. I can’t take any more.’ She got out her handkerchief and dabbed her eyes, avoiding smearing her mascara as best she could. ‘I have nothing to call my own.’

‘In what way?’

‘She has her bedroom, of course, but her computer won’t fit in, there being no room for a desk, so it’s in my sitting room. She’s up at six praying or whatever, and I’m disturbed immediately she starts because she prays out loud. Then she takes a bath, my shower not being powerful enough for her – says it’s a trickle not a shower – then she’s downstairs making breakfast. So I go down to find my kitchen in uproar and have to clear up before I can begin mine – you know how I like things to be neat and tidy, especially at breakfast before one’s senses have fully surfaced – then she’s off out, slamming the door as she goes.

‘Next news she’s back, wanting to talk. I can’t be doing with moral dilemmas first thing; I like to wake up gently. Then she wants to do her washing at different times from me—’

‘Surely that’s helpful. Better than the
same
time.’

Grandmama’s brown eyes inspected Harriet’s, thinking of the times Harriet had disagreed with her and recognizing that now was not the time for that to happen.

‘I suppose it is, but washing all about when you want to make a meal?’

‘Come on, Katherine, what is it really about?’

Her mother-in-law hesitated. Appeared to form an answer in her head and then changed her mind.

‘Come on, tell me. It won’t go outside this room.’

‘Nowadays they’d label it a personality clash. Frankly, she’s damn difficult to get on with. One has an opinion and it’s always completely the opposite from hers. She’s the most damn cussed woman I’ve ever met.’

‘You did offer her a home. She didn’t ask.’

‘I know I did, but how was I to know that Peter was off back to Africa and that I’d be stuck with her – for what is it? – eight months till he gets back.’

‘I bet you wouldn’t be saying all this if it was Peter you’d offered a home to.’

‘No, because he’s the loveliest man on God’s earth, and that’s the truth. Jimbo comes a close second, of course … a very close second.’ Grandmama’s eyes went quite dreamy. ‘But I defy anyone to find Peter difficult to live with.’

‘Even with all his crystal-clear morals? His closeness to God? His love of sinners? His compassion? His spiritual wisdom?’

Grandmama began to smile. ‘Well, perhaps his saintliness might grate occasionally, because I’m a Martha and not a Mary where God is concerned. Organizing the tea cups is much more to my liking than contemplating my navel. After all, one must keep a perspective about God, mustn’t one? However, Peter is also a real
man
, and a gorgeous, virile one at that, and I can’t quite see how he combines the two. However, we won’t go there.’ Katherine finished her coffee and sat back to ask again. ‘So, having got that off my chest, may I stay? You’ve got the bed space now with the boys and Flick away from home, and I’d be useful for sitting with Fran if you and Jimbo needed to go out. Time you had some freedom where going out’s concerned.’

‘Look, Katherine, all this has come as a shock to me, I’d no idea things were so difficult for you … oops, that’s someone at the door.’

A voice called out, ‘Anna from the Rectory, Harriet. May I come in?’

‘I’m not here,’ Katherine whispered.

‘Your cases are in the hall.’

‘Damn and blast.’

‘Come in, Anna.’ Harriet got to her feet and went into the hall to greet her.

‘Is Katherine here?’

Harriet agreed she was.

‘I hoped she might be. Can I have a word?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Ah! As bad as that, is it? Doesn’t want to explain?’

Harriet nodded. ‘Best to give it a while.’

‘I’m so sorry. I’ll try harder. But I can’t go to live at the Rectory because Caroline and the twins need their space. The twins you see are still having a very bad time. They’re worse at night, I’m told. Sometimes Beth screams and screams, and nothing will pacify her. Caroline’s at her wits’ end. I’ll leave Katherine alone, then. Perhaps she might feel better in a day or two. I can’t understand what I’ve done to make her so upset.’

‘Let’s leave it for now.’

‘There’s no way I can live in her cottage while she’s lodging elsewhere; that simply wouldn’t be right. I’ll have to find somewhere else. I’ve an idea one of the weekenders is intending going abroad for a while; that might be an idea, mightn’t it? I’ll try to work something out with her. Tell Katherine the gas man has been to service the boiler, and it’s fine. Tell her I’ve paid him, so she doesn’t need to worry.’ Anna opened the front door, made to leave and then turned back to say, ‘I’m so sorry about this. I’ve done nothing deliberately to upset her. I’ve been so grateful for her kindness in finding me a home, believe me.’

‘Don’t fret, we’ll sort something out,’ said Harriet. ‘Take your time; you need somewhere where you feel comfortable.’

Harriet drew a deep breath as Anna closed the door. Heavens above. She didn’t want her mother-in-law staying; they’d never got on. She peeped round the sitting-room door and saw Grandmama was looking more relaxed, that the double whisky was taking effect. Her eyes closed momentarily and then sprang open but quickly closed again.

She crept into the kitchen and dialled Jimbo’s office number.

In a soft whisper she said, ‘Jimbo?’

‘Who else?’

‘It’s me.’

‘Yes, I thought so. Why are we whispering?’

‘Are you sitting comfortably?’

‘What’s happened?’

‘Your mother has moved in.’

‘She has? Where?’

‘Here, in our house.’

‘Oh, God! No.’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘I’m coming home.’ Jimbo replaced the receiver and gazed into space. He really didn’t want the old battle-axe to live in their house. Absolutely not. In the same village was bad enough but in the same house?
Help
!

He walked into the front of the Store and spoke to Tom who had a queue at his Post Office section, it being pension day. ‘I’m going home. Something urgent has cropped up. Won’t be long.’ Bel was tapping away at the till. ‘Bel? OK?’

‘Fine, thanks. I can cope.’

‘Good.’ Usually he took off his straw boater when he was going out of the Store but today his mind was on more important matters.

He strode into his house to be met by Harriet with her finger to her lips. ‘Shush! She’s asleep. Come into the kitchen.’

Jimbo perched himself on a stool at the breakfast bar and said, ‘Well?’

‘Well? No, I am not. She wants to live here until Anna returns to Culworth when Peter comes back.’

‘Oh, my word, surely not. Have they had a row?’

‘It’s what your mother calls a personality clash. But the fact is your mother is not getting all her own way and she feels her space is being invaded by Anna. Who appears to me to be a very easy-going person. Anna’s been to have a word with your mother but I wouldn’t let her. She’s very sorry it’s happened and isn’t sure what it’s all about. She’s hoping to find somewhere else to live in the village so your mother can have her cottage back, but what are the chances of anyone in the village wanting a rector staying in their house? Zilch. I certainly wouldn’t.’

‘I see.’ Jimbo took a biscuit from Harriet’s treasured biscuit tin, snapped the lid shut and put the whole of the biscuit in his mouth. He mumbled, ‘Well, Harriet, my dearest, it appears we’ve been landed. I suppose it won’t be too bad. Fran’s out at school all day and you’re busy out of the house a lot of the time. She has a cousin. I have her address somewhere … in my desk. Cousin Audrey, similar kind to Mother, maybe they’d suit for a while.’

‘The last time your mother stayed with her she swore it would be the last. Said she’d commit suicide rather than go back.’

Jimbo grinned. ‘Oh. Well. That’s that, then.’

Between gritted teeth Harriet declared it was all right him laughing but what on earth were they going to do?

‘Put up with it? Make life so difficult she’ll move back home? On the other hand, we could demonstrate our love for her and say gladly, yes, of course she can stay. We’ll make the best of it. Be a test of our charity.’

‘On the other hand it could be grounds for divorce.’

‘Harriet!’

‘If she gets on at Fran like she always does then I really will have something to say, because I’m not putting up with it. Fran’s self-esteem is quite low enough without your mother telling her she should do better and where’s her Charter-Plackett backbone. If she does it will be Fran and me moving out. Fran may not be the brightest star in the firmament but she is the sweetest and kindest and most thoughtful. Though she does know how to rub your mother up the wrong way and no wonder; Katherine completely undermines her confidence.’

They both heard stirring in the hall and turned to look. It was Grandmama picking up her cases.

Jimbo sprang into action. ‘Here, Mother, let me do that. Welcome to the Charter-Plackett residence. It’ll be a pleasure having you stay. Which room, Harriet?’

It was on the tip of Harriet’s tongue to say, ‘How about the shed?’ Instead she said, ‘Fergus’s room. It gets the sun each morning first thing. The left-hand wardrobe is empty.’ She sighed, braced herself and went to collect the coffee things from the sitting room.

As Grandmama went up the stairs Harriet heard her say, ‘I shall be no trouble, Jimbo, you won’t know I’m here.’

We’ll wait and see, thought Harriet.

Normally Jimbo would have left her to unpack but the present situation demanded something more. He sat on the bed and said, ‘See here, Mother, I’m sorry you can’t agree with Anna, though she appears to be a very reasonable person. No, don’t start unpacking, just sit down for a moment and listen to me. This is serious.’

Grandmama, eager to fit in, did as she was told.

‘I don’t agree that three generations living in one house is lovely. It isn’t. Fran’s just reached the stage when she thinks listening to modern music played as loud as possible is cool. Under no circumstances are you to interfere with that. Harriet tells her when enough is enough and she accepts that. Second. You are not to interfere when the boys and Flick are at home. The whole house echoes with their rushing here and rushing there, and that’s how it should be. The kitchen is Harriet’s domain and you can help just sometimes. Two women in a kitchen isn’t a good idea, as you have found out. Thirdly, and most importantly, you are not to undermine Fran’s self-confidence. Compared to the other three she’s very fragile in that department. She’s missed out on the Charter-Plackett self-confidence that the others all have. Don’t ask me why, I’ve no idea. Never been as strong physically as the others either, really.’

‘I did say when Harriet was expecting her that it was ridiculous having a baby at forty-one.’

‘You see what I mean? Cutting remarks about something which is none of your business. It’s your sharp tongue, Mother. You can stay, but on my terms.’

Grandmama got out her handkerchief. ‘You’re not very kind to your mother, Jimbo. You should welcome me with open arms. I am your one and only mother. I never thought I’d hear you say what you’ve said just now. Never. It’s hurtful.’

‘I mean what I say, hurtful or not. So long as you behave yourself we’ll all get along together fine.’

He stood up and kissed her on the top of her head. She clutched his hand and said, ‘I promise to behave myself. I shall go out a lot. After all, you won’t need me to help around the house, now you’ve got Dottie Foskett cleaning for you. Though I very much doubt if she is a suitable person to have in your home with two lusty sons and—’

‘Mother, there you go again.’

‘Sorry! Sorry! Off you go back to the Store. I might pop in later today and see how things are going on. I did have an idea about—’

But Jimbo had escaped. He kissed Harriet, murmured, ‘Good luck!’ and charged out of the door, relieved to let Harriet cope.

After he’d gone Grandmama sat in the easy chair too outfaced to begin unpacking. It wasn’t easy, this grandmother business, you weren’t quite sure where you fitted in. Nothing felt easy in this life at the moment, especially after her row with her lodger. All Anna had said was, ‘I’ve two more jumpers waiting to go in the airing cupboard. Sorry. Were you wanting to air the sheets? Got to go, or I shall be late and you know what they’re like in Little Derehams if you’re late.’

Grandmama thought, I should never have flown off the handle. She’d been foolish. Was it really she who said, ‘You’re a damn nuisance. You’ve lived on your own far too long. This cottage is small, and though I enjoy the idea of someone coming in and out I do not like the idea of every possible space being taken up with your belongings. The same day every week when I need the airing cupboard to air the sheets before I change the beds, your belongings are spread out over the airing cupboard shelves as though there’s no one else living in the house. Well, you’ll damn well have cold sheets on your bed and good luck to you.’