A Week at the Beach (27 page)

            “Oh,” she said disappointedly.  “Was he cute?  Did you like him?”

            I rolled my eyes, “My feelings on both of those subjects are moot, mom.  He lives in LA, and that trumps cuteness and likability.”

            She sighed, “I just want you to be happy, that is all.”

            “I know that, mom, and I appreciate it.  It’s just harder to meet the right kind of guys now than it was in college.  Most of the men I meet aren’t really interested in the same things I’m interested in.”  Whatever I was coming down with must have weakened my defenses against my mom’s prying.

            “I understand that honey, and I don’t want you to compromise.  I just think that maybe you could put a little more effort into looking for the right kind of man.”  She said it sweetly, so I didn’t take offense.

            “You just want grandkids to spoil,” I said with a smile.

            She laughed, “I do!  I admit it.  I can’t wait to spoil a little bundle with love and kisses.  Sue me!”

            “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait for your chance, at least from me.” 

            We talked for a few minutes before I finally got her off the phone.  She didn’t mention Nick, or any other man, for the rest of the conversation.  We talked about the upcoming school year and about what my sisters were up to. 

            I’d tried hard not to think about Nick for the last few days.  Although, if I was being honest with myself, most times trying hard not to think about him only made me think about him more.  I missed him and it bothered me to no end to admit that to myself.  I’d only known the man for a few days, and yet I missed him.  A big part of me wondered if the achy, rundown feeling had anything to do with him.  I wondered if I’d somehow managed to fall into depression over a guy I’d known for a couple of days. 

            When thoughts of Nick seeped into my head, I tried to push them away, but they just kept coming back.  On the subway last week, I could have sworn I heard his voice but when I turned towards it, it was a short bald man.  Walking through the store, I was hit by a waft of cologne that smelled like Nick’s.  I had to leave the aisle; my thoughts were so jumbled by it.  I couldn’t escape him, no matter where I went. 

            The package from the ceramics shop that I’d originally placed on my dresser had been hidden in my closet.  I hadn’t even bothered opening it.  I couldn’t.  I couldn’t bear the idea of holding something that he painted for me in my hand.  I certainly wasn’t going to display it in a place where I’d have to confront it daily.  So, hidden in my closet, the little beach girl sat packed away.  I hoped that someday the ridiculous feelings I was having for him would join her in the closet.  However, until then, I felt a little better knowing I couldn’t see her.

14.

The first week of school went off without a hitch.  It was as busy as usual, so there was no time to be achy or rundown.  I must have been running on adrenaline alone, because by the time I got home on Friday I was too exhausted to eat dinner.  I had just enough energy to drag myself up the stairs, change into my pajamas and crawl into the bed.  I didn’t wake up until the next morning. 

            When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was greeted by the smell of eggs cooking downstairs.  Normally, that was a welcomed thing, but for some reason that morning, it made my stomach turn.  I buried my face in my pillow and took a few deep breaths.  When I felt like I could handle it, I sat up slowly.  A cold shiver ran over me and I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead.  I steadied myself before getting up off the bed.  Clearly, not eating dinner before going to bed was a bad idea.

            I dressed and slowly wandered downstairs for something to eat.  The smell of cooked eggs still filled the kitchen, and I felt my stomach start to turn again.  I grabbed my box of cereal and put a handful of pieces in my mouth.  When the cereal hit my stomach, I felt a little better.  I made a bowl and sat down at the table to finish my breakfast.  After breakfast, I called Chrissy to see what she was up to. 

            “Oh, hi Cami,” Chrissy said when she picked up the phone.  She didn’t sound like her usually cheerful self. 

            “What’s wrong?” I asked and settled down on the bench outside in the backyard garden.

            “I think I need to break it off with Clark,” she sighed.

            “Why?”

            I listened as Chrissy detailed everything that had been happening in her relationship over the past week and a half.  She’d followed him and seen him out with his wife.  They went out for a romantic dinner then headed back to the house they used to share.  Despite all that, she was still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, until he called to tell her he was working late that night and wouldn’t be home until the early morning.  She took the call as she sat outside his old home. 

            “I’m sorry to hear that, Chrissy, but how is it any different than what it was like when they were still together?” I tried to be sympathetic, but I wasn’t really getting what her problem was.  She didn’t seem to have any trouble being the other woman before. 

            “It’s different because now I’m the one sitting up waiting for him.  I’m the one getting the phone call full of lies.  I’m the one alone, and she’s the other woman!” Chrissy burst into tears.

            “I’m so sorry, Chrissy.  Do you want me to come over?” I asked, more out of politeness than real desire to leave my cozy spot in the garden.

            “No, mom’s taking me shopping.” 

            I smiled, “Well, that should help cheer you up.”

            “I hope so.  Actually,” Chrissy said sheepishly, “I hope it puts her in a good mood, because I’m going to ask her if I can move back into her old apartment.  She was planning on renting it out, but I’m going to need it again.”

            I spent my Sunday helping Chrissy move out of her love den.  Since Clark had furnished the place, and Chrissy was moving into a furnished apartment, all we had to move were her clothes.  It took us seven trips and five hours, but at the end of it all, Chrissy was officially moved out of Clark’s life.  Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to stand her ground if she had to say it face to face, she left him a note explaining it all. 

            “I’ve turned over a new leaf, Cami.  I’m going to be more like you.” Chrissy said after we’d carried the last of her clothes to her new apartment.  She was shouting at me from the kitchen, while I collapsed into one of the comfy chairs. 

            “What do you mean?” I shouted back at her.

            “I’m swearing off men. Here, this is for you,” she handed me a glass of wine and sat on the couch across from my chair.

            “I haven’t sworn off men, Chrissy.” I argued with her.  I lifted the glass of wine to my mouth, but stopped when the scent hit me.  “What kind of wine is this?”

            “I don’t know.  It’s something Ned sent over for me, why?” she shrugged and sipped at her own glass.

            “It doesn’t smell right to me.” I put the glass on the table next to my chair and hoped my stomach would settle. 

            “Okay, so you haven’t sworn off men completely, but you have to admit that you are very picky.  I mean, have you even gone on a date since you and Jack broke up?” Chrissy kept talking, not at all phased by my comment about the wine or my current state of unease.

            I took a few deep breaths to steady myself before I answered.  “I’m not picky, Chrissy.  I just don’t go around hooking up with any guy with a cute smile.”

            Chrissy laughed, “I wasn’t that bad!”
            I looked sternly at her, “Tell me honestly, how many guys were you with when we were in the Outer Banks?”

            Chrissy shrugged nonchalantly, “That was a bad week for me.  I was in a vulnerable place.”

            I rolled my eyes, “Sure you were.”

            “How many guys did you hook up with that week?” she asked then added sarcastically, “Oh, wait, never mind!  You don’t hook up.  I got you a perfectly good man that you could use for your pleasure, and you ditched him for your surfer boy.  At least he was gorgeous.”

            I blushed out of guilt.  Chrissy still didn’t know about me and Nick, and I wasn’t sure that I should tell her.  If Nick had just been a random guy I’d met, then perhaps I wouldn’t have been so hesitant to tell her all about it.  Since Nick worked for Chrissy’s stepdad’s company, I didn’t want to take any chances that the information would get back to him. 

            “Let’s talk about how you’re going to change your ways and be more like me.  How serious are you about this?  Are you serious enough to stop going out every night?  Is this serious enough to not spend seventy-five percent of your day shopping?”  I leaned forward and looked directly at her.  “Are you serious enough to actually get a job?”

            Chrissy shot me a look, “Don’t be ridiculous, Cami.”

            I sat back and laughed.

Surprisingly, Chrissy stayed true to her word.  For the next two weeks, she didn’t go out, hook up, or even shop.  In fact, she’d invited me over several nights and actually cooked dinner for me.  It was nice.  I really liked the new Chrissy. 

            “Are you feeling okay?” Chrissy asked as I made my way back to the living room after my third trip to the bathroom.

            “Yes,” I said defensively.

            “You’re not turning bulimic on me, are you?” she asked with a suspicious look.

            “No!  Why would you ask that?”

            “Because you’ve been here for an hour and you’ve already gone to the bathroom three times.  Plus, you haven’t been eating like you used to.  At first, I thought it was about my cooking, but Ned tells me that my food is good.  Also, every time I offer you wine, you tell me no.”  She put a hand on my arm and looked sympathetically at me.  “If you’re trying to lose that little bit of weight you’ve put on recently, I would be happy to let you use the gym in this building.”

            “I’m not trying to lose weight, Chrissy.  I’m not bulimic, or anorexic, for that matter.  I haven’t been eating much lately because my stomach has been really sensitive.  The wine thing is because it all smells funny to me, okay.”  I rolled my eyes and stared down at my hands.  “I admit that despite all the stomach issues, I seem to have put on a few pounds.  However, it’s the beginning of the school year and things are a little stressful for me right now.  I’ve also just been too tired to run.  I’m sure that now that we’re into October, things will settle down and I’ll be back to my old self.”

            “I hope so.  We can’t both be trying to change who we are.  I can’t be a good girl who hangs around with a fat chick.”  Chrissy said with a smile.

            I tossed a pillow at her.  “I’m not fat!”

            Chrissy laughed and dodged the pillow.

            Walking home from Chrissy’s house an hour later, I thought about what she’d brought up.  I’d been busy, so I hadn’t noticed all the changes I’d made in the last few weeks.  I’d gotten used to babying my stomach, so I’d stopped paying attention to all the problems I’d been having.  Putting everything together got the gears turning. 

            Feeling nervous, and embarrassed, I stopped in at my pharmacy to pick up something I’d never bought before.  Standing in line at the counter with the box in my hand, I felt like my face was on fire.  The old lady standing in front of me turned around, looked at what I had in my hand, clearly checked my hand for a ring, and looked up at me with a disgusted look.  Trying hard not to cry from shame, I ignored her and looked off to the side. 

            Back at home, I snuck my purchase into the bathroom with me and waited nervously for my results.  I sat on the toilet staring at my watch.  Five minutes later, I finally worked up the courage to look.  Staring at the little white stick, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel.  The two pink lines stared back at me, waiting for some sort of reaction.