A Weekend with Mr. Darcy (10 page)

‘I'd better get back,' she said at length, standing up.

Dan stood up beside her. ‘Thanks for the book,' he said. ‘I'll take good care of it.'

‘You'd better,' she said and gave a little smile before walking away.

As she skirted the side of the hall, she realised that her heart was beating at an alarmingly fast rate.

‘Oh, my goodness!' she said to herself, trying desperately not to let her mind float back to the image of Dan climbing out of the pool. She wasn't going to think about that long, toned body, and she certainly wasn't going to think about the way the water had glistened on his arms and his chest. That wouldn't be right at all, would it?

Just as her mind was illicitly travelling south, her phone beeped. She'd dared to turn it on for half an hour and sure enough, there were half a dozen voice mails and text messages from Jace. She read the latest one.

Want to see you tonight. Will call in at 8 p.m.

Robyn groaned. It was as if he knew what she'd been up to.

Katherine noticed Robyn's absence in the informal discussion group as everyone took their places in a big circle around a table in the library. For a moment she wondered where her friend might be, but then Warwick came in and sat down next to her and Robyn was forgotten.

She'd really been looking forward to discussing Austen with mature people. Often she was left frustrated by the apathy of her students at college when presented with the very finest of literature, and there were very few people she could discuss her passion with, other than the virtual friends online at the Republic of Pemberley. That's why weekends like this were special. The only problem was that one had to share them with the likes of Mrs Soames, Katherine thought, seeing her archenemy walk into the room and sit in a chair opposite her. Katherine sighed. She'd been hoping that Mrs Soames might be having a prolonged siesta.

Mrs Soames was one of those people who rub you the wrong way as soon as they look at you. She had a large stony face with screwed-up eyes that fixed themselves on you and did not let go. It was most unnerving to have her in one of your lectures, and she'd always be sitting in the front row too, dying for you to make a mistake which she'd invariably spot and put right. And she moaned about everything. ‘Can't we change the chairs around? I can't face the window.' ‘It's too cold in here.' ‘It's too warm in here.' ‘We haven't been told where the toilets are.' On and on it went, a never-ending tirade against the world and everyone in it.

Katherine did her best to avoid eye contact with the old harridan as Dame Pamela entered the room to lead the discussion. As usual there was a polite round of applause as the actress took a seat. She was wearing a beautiful, floaty dress and shawl the colour of raspberry sorbet, and her shimmering silver hair was swept up and topped off with a deep red rose. She was every inch the glamorous star, and Katherine—who'd previously been rather pleased with her appearance in her figure-hugging emerald dress—felt positively dowdy in comparison.

‘Thank you!' Dame Pamela began. ‘This is always one of my favourite parts of the weekend. It's our chance to swap thoughts and ideas about our favourite,
favourite
books. Jane Austen left us with six perfect novels and even though it is a regrettably small collection, it still provides us with ample material to get excited about. Who would like to start our session? Perhaps someone would like to tell us about their favourite novel—their “own darling child,” to quote Jane.'

At first everyone was quiet. It was a phenomenon known to every lecturer and teacher—nobody ever wants to be the first to speak.

Finally dear old Doris Norris took the plunge, holding up a brand-new copy of
Northanger Abbey
. ‘This,' she said, ‘is my favourite. I admit it wasn't when I first read it but I've warmed to it over the years for its humour and its wonderful heroine, Catherine.'

‘And its hero,' a woman next to her said.

‘Ah, yes! The wonderful Mr Tilney,' Doris said with a sigh. ‘Who can resist a man who knows so much about muslin?'

A ripple of laughter ran around the room.

‘But that's a brand-new copy of the book,' someone else said, nodding to Doris's copy of
Northanger Abbey
. ‘I'm guessing you've worn out your last copy.'

Doris nodded. ‘It fell into a canal from a holiday barge. I can't think how many copies I get through but I always make sure that there's a little bit left over from my pension to buy new books. I'm sure you'll all agree that they're one of life's necessities.'

Everybody nodded.

‘I once dropped a copy of
Persuasion
off the Cobb in Lyme Regis,' a woman named Rose said. She was in her fifties and Katherine had spoken to her briefly the night before and had learnt that she was at the conference with her sister, Roberta. ‘What a terrible waste,' she continued. ‘I kept looking for it, as if it might wash up on the beach but it was the last I saw of it.'

‘Well, wait until you see the state of mine,' somebody else said, holding up her own much-loved copy of
Persuasion
which had a cover that was creased and curling and a spine so cracked that the title had been completely lost. ‘This goes everywhere with me. It lives in my handbag, and I daren't leave the house without it. I'd rather be without my mobile or my lipstick. It's my greatest fear to be made to wait somewhere—a doctor's waiting room or a terrible traffic jam—and not have my favourite Austen with me.'

‘I'm just the same,' Roberta—Rose's sister—said. ‘Only it's
Sense and Sensibility
that comes everywhere with me. I've worn out three copies now but I keep them all. They're like old friends.'

‘I know just what you mean,' Dame Pamela said. ‘Whenever I'm on location and there's all that dreadful hanging around the set, I just dip into a bit of
Pride and Prejudice,
and the time whizzes by. In fact, I'm almost sorry when I'm told I'm wanted on set.'

Everyone laughed.

‘
Pride and Prejudice
is my favourite too,' a woman with a husky voice said, bending down to retrieve a pile of books from an I Love Mr Darcy shopping bag. ‘And I've got quite a few copies,' she said, presenting the group with her different copies. There was a pretty pastel-coloured copy, the BBC TV tie-in edition featuring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle, the Joe Wright film tie-in featuring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen, and innumerable other versions, including some gorgeous foreign editions.

‘Do you read all the foreign ones, Carla?' Rose asked.

‘Oh, no,' Carla said, ‘but I have to have them for the collection. And there's more, too.' Everyone watched in anticipation as she delved into the depths of her bag and brought out book after book after book. Katherine guessed that Carla was in her late forties, and she was very chic with vanilla-blond hair cut in a classic bob. She was wearing an expensive-looking tailored jacket and skirt, and the diamond on her ring finger was the size of a small egg. But that wasn't what was mesmerising the gathering—her books were holding everyone's attention. They comprised the collection of a true Austen aficionado. The titles were varied and wondrous. There were spin-offs and sequels and just about everything else you could imagine with a vague connection to the beloved original,
Pride and Prejudice
.

Katherine read the titles as they emerged:
Mr Darcy's Diary
;
Mr Darcy, Vampyre
;
The Other Mr Darcy
;
Pemberley
;
Darcy and Elizabeth: Nights and Days at Pemberley
;
Mr Darcy and Me
;
Mr Darcy Takes a Wife
;
Mr Darcy Presents His Bride
;
The Darcys and the Bingleys
;
Darcy's Temptation
; a copy of York Notes on
Pride and Prejudice
; as well as a copy of
CliffsNotes
,
SparkNotes,
and an ‘A' level study guide. Carla even had a copy of
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
which had been the cause of many a heated discussion already amongst die-hard fans.

‘I have lots more,' she said, ‘but I couldn't carry them all.'

Katherine, like everyone else, gazed in amazement at the collection.

‘My house is absolutely chock full,' Carla said. ‘Shelves are double stacked. I bought a bookcase last year and piled it high, and the whole thing collapsed.'

‘I've got books in every room—even the bathroom,' Roberta confessed.

‘You mustn't keep books in a bathroom. It's not good for them,' Doris said.

‘But it's good for me! I love reading in the bath,' Roberta said. ‘It's the only time I can get naked with Mr Darcy.'

Everyone laughed except her sister, Rose, who looked quite shocked by this admission.

‘So do we have any favourite scenes from
Pride and Prejudice
?' Dame Pamela asked.

‘The first proposal,' someone said.

‘That's mine too.'

‘Oh, yes!' Roberta said. ‘I love how shocked Elizabeth is that Darcy has been in love with her for so long and yet she hadn't realised.'

Everyone nodded and sighed with bliss as they remembered the scene.

‘I like it when Elizabeth upsets Lady Catherine and she says, “Obstinate, headstrong girl! I am ashamed of you!”' Rose said.

‘I liked that scene too,' Dame Pamela said with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

‘And we loved you in it!' Doris said.

Katherine nodded, remembering the very fine performance of Dame Pamela in the role. Hadn't she won a BAFTA for it?

‘I like the bit where Darcy strides across the field at dawn and proposes to Elizabeth again,' an elderly lady at the far end of the room said.

Mrs Soames sighed in exasperation. ‘That's the film! That scene isn't in the book.'

‘Are you
sure
?'

‘Quite sure.'

‘But I remember it so vividly.'

‘No, it's Matthew Macfadyen you're remembering so vividly,' Mrs Soames said.

‘And so do we all,' Katherine said with a little laugh. She was enjoying herself immensely. Although she'd thought that the conversation would be far more serious in tone, she couldn't help being amused by the turn it had taken.

Roberta got up from her chair and picked up one of the Austen spin-offs Carla had presented the group with. ‘I can never make up my mind about these, but they do look very tempting,' she said, flipping through a copy of
Mr Darcy, Vampyre
.'

‘But they're not Austen,' Mrs Soames said.

‘I know they're not Austen,' Roberta said.

‘But it's the next best thing,' Carla said.

‘
Nothing's
the next best thing, I fear,' Dame Pamela said. ‘We just have to accept that six perfect novels are all we're ever going to get.'

‘What about Georgette Heyer?' Rose said. ‘I like Georgette Heyer's books.'

‘A very poor substitute,' Mrs Soames said.

‘Or Barbara Cartland?' someone else suggested.

‘Did someone say Barbara Cartland?' Mrs Soames boomed, her bosom rising like a tsunami.

‘I
like
Barbara Cartland!'

‘How can we be talking about Jane Austen one minute and Barbara Cartland the next? We'll be talking about that dreadful Lorna Warwick next. Have you seen they're selling her books here at Purley?' She nodded towards the book stall at the other side of the room. ‘It's a complete travesty!' Mrs Soames said.

‘But how can something so enjoyable be bad?' Rose said. ‘Didn't Jane Austen say as much?'

‘Yes she did,' Doris said. ‘In my own favourite book,
Northanger Abbey
.'

Katherine nodded. ‘She said that a novel displayed “the greatest powers of the mind” and “the liveliest effusions of wit and humour conveyed to the world in the best chosen language.”'

The group looked suitably impressed by Katherine's ability to quote.

‘What do you think?' Dame Pamela said, looking straight at Warwick.

Warwick looked up, and Katherine realised that he'd been particularly quiet throughout the discussion and had gone quite red in the last few minutes. Maybe he was just shy, although he hadn't struck her as being the shy type.

‘You okay?' she said, leaning towards him.

He looked at her and nodded.

‘It's not often that we get a male perspective on Austen,' Dame Pamela said. ‘What do you think of all these spin-offs and sequels? All these Georgette Heyers and Lorna Warwicks?'

The whole group turned to Warwick, awaiting his answer. Katherine, too, was keen to hear it.

‘Well, I… er… I think that there's room on the shelves for all sorts of books,' he said. ‘As Katherine said, Austen thought the novel a great invention, and who are we to argue with her?'

A few people nodded but Mrs Soames didn't look convinced.

‘What do you think, then?' Dame Pamela asked, seeing Mrs Soames shaking her head vehemently.

Katherine sighed. Some people should never be asked for their opinion, for they were sure to give it at very great length.

‘I don't think Austen had all novels in mind when she said that,' Mrs Soames said, her face stiff with irritation. ‘There are novels and there are novels.'

‘What do you mean?' Carla asked.

‘I mean that some aren't worth the paper they're printed on. They're cheap, trashy tat,' she said, her words stabbing the air like knives.

Warwick cleared his throat.

‘You don't agree?' Dame Pamela said, obviously seeing how uncomfortable he was.

‘No, I don't,' he said.

Everyone waited, expecting him to say something else but he didn't.

‘So you don't read anything other than Jane Austen?' Carla said to Mrs Soames.

Mrs Soames shot her an evil look. ‘And what's wrong with that?'

There were a few titters from the group.

‘But that's so boring!' Carla said, flicking her vanilla-blond hair.

‘It's not boring,' Mrs Soames said. ‘I'm just a specialised reader. I don't like anything else.'

‘Okay!' Dame Pamela said, clapping her hands together with an astonishingly loud sound. ‘Any other favourite books or scenes?'

A few other people divulged their favourite moments which included Emma's shenanigans with her boot while trying to match-make Mr Elton and Harriet, Catherine discovering the laundry list in
Northanger Abbey,
and Wentworth's letter in
Persuasion
.

‘But he's not the most romantic of heroes, is he?' Roberta said. ‘I mean, he's wonderful but he isn't a patch on Darcy.'