A Widow's Hope (12 page)

“No, I’ll go,” said Hannah, sucking on her thumb. “I want to make us some tea to clear my head before you think I’ve taken leave of my senses.”

Setting the kettle on the stove, she contemplated Julia’s words.
I believe if you were of such a mind, you’ d find the field wide open.
Why did that information send her spirits soaring? Just last week she’d thought she would be content to live the rest of her life alone. Now her thoughts kept drifting to a man whose eyes sparkled like crystal prisms when he laughed.

She shook away the notion as the taste of blood soured her stomach.
What in the world would Seth see in me after having a wife like Constance?
But if there were any chance he might be interested, she’d like to give it a try. And she hoped the pathway to that man’s heart had nothing to do with recipes or cooking ability.

The afternoon of sewing and sharing stories from their childhood passed pleasantly. There was no more talk of Seth Miller or any other man, except for tales of the antics of Julia’s sons. Before they knew it, they’d finished two pots of tea and had cut out and basted together both girls’ dresses. Tomorrow they would sew them on the treadle sewing machine, but now they needed to fix dinner. Julia’s beef roast had been in the oven for two hours. “This cow is cooked,” she said, drawing out the words like her Missouri kin. She set the roaster on the stovetop to cool.

“I like beef so tender you can cut it up with your fork,” Hannah said as she mashed up the boiled potatoes. “You can’t do that with rare meat.” When she went to the fridge for milk and butter, she
spotted Seth’s carriage as it pulled into the yard. “Seth’s here,” she announced, feeling uneasy. She regretted revealing her feelings about Seth to Julia.

“
Jah,
” Julia said, “he helps Simon with the spring planting after he finishes his own chores. He has the energy of two men.” Julia leaned over the sink to look out the window. “
Ach,
good. He brought his sweet Phoebe along. We can give her the new
kapps
we made after supper.”

“If I had known they were coming, I would have boiled more potatoes.” Hannah wished she had kept quiet this afternoon. Now she would be nervous whenever Seth’s name was mentioned.

Julia peered into the mixing bowl. “That looks like plenty of mashed potatoes to me. Why don’t you check your critters while I finish up dinner? I’ll call Emma to help make a salad.” Julia smiled and motioned with her head toward the door.

“All right, I did want to make sure no other sheep have taken sick.” Hannah washed and dried her hands, and then caught her reflection in the small hallway mirror. Her skin looked as pale as biscuit flour, the center part of her hair was crooked, and her dress hung from her shoulders like a feed sack. Had she lost more weight? There had been nothing wrong with her appetite last night down by the creek. She’d noticed Seth watching her and felt a little embarrassed. Now even a simple thing like eating had become complicated!

Hannah noticed Phoebe alone by the pasture gate as she carried over the water buckets. The child stood on the bottom rail, her gaze fastened on a lively lamb frolicking among the tall buttercups. Luckily, the animal’s eyes looked clear and its nose dry.

“That baby is having fun on this nice spring day, no?” Hannah asked, setting down the buckets.

Phoebe eyed her cautiously and then shook her head up and down. Her attention returned to the lamb chasing a bumblebee from flower to flower.

“Is that lamb your favorite, Phoebe? Would you like to pet him?” Hannah held her breath waiting for the reply.

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically for her answer. Luckily the lamb’s mother was a pleasant enough ewe, accustomed to Hannah and not overly protective of her young. When Hannah entered the paddock and lifted the animal, mama offered a complaining
baaa
but didn’t become agitated. Hannah carried the baby to the fence and held it in between the rails. Phoebe stroked the soft head and velvety ears. The lamb began to lick Phoebe’s fingers, much to the child’s delight. She giggled and grinned at Hannah, showing a space where she’d lost her two front teeth.

“Would you like to have this lamb, Phoebe?” Hannah asked on sudden impulse. “You could give him a name, and he would be yours.”

The child’s face glowed with joy.

“We must check with your
daed
to be sure it’s all right with him. And the lamb needs to stay here with his mother so he can nurse, but I know how you can find him and tell which one is yours.” Hannah pulled some long white ribbons from her apron pocket and began braiding them together. She and Julia had used the ribbons to make new
kapps
for Leah, Emma, and Phoebe. When she finished, she tied the ribbon collar around the lamb’s neck just as the animal was growing restless.

Phoebe buried her face in the snowy wool and whispered in a barely audible voice, “Joe.”

“What?” Hannah asked. “What did you say, Phoebe?” Her heart thumped against her chest wall as Hannah realized the child had spoken.

“I believe she has named him Joe,” Seth said from over her shoulder. He’d come up without their notice. Hannah looked up to meet his gaze, and their eyes lingered longer than necessary. “A right suitable name for a sheep, I’d say. Unless, of course, Joe is actually Jolene.”

Seth laughed before bending low to examine the critter. “Nope, Joe will do nicely. And
danki
for the gift, Mrs. Brown.” He patted the lamb’s head and then his daughter’s while Hannah stood mutely.
Apparently when Phoebe regained her ability to talk, Hannah misplaced hers.

Finally she managed a sentence. “You’re welcome. I hope you’re not mad. I know I should have checked with you first, but the lamb could stay here with us indefinitely.” Hannah smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt. She had to do something, look
anywhere
other than into his handsome face.

Phoebe giggled and ran along the fence as Joe rejoined the other sheep. Her head poked in and out between the rails as she kept track of her new pet.

“Not to worry,” Seth said. “But it does bring up a matter I wish to discuss with you.” He swept off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. For the first time Hannah noticed a few strands of silver near his temples. “I want to start my own sheep business, Hannah, and I’d appreciate any suggestions you can give me. The price of wool is shooting up in these parts, as well as the price of lamb meat, especially if I were to get organic certification for my operation. Even without it, I’m thinking this might be the cash crop I need at my place.” He rested his boot on the bottom rail and pulled up a long weed to chew.

Hannah’s mouth dropped wide open. Seth Miller was seeking her advice? Unlike flaky piecrust or uniform quilt stitches, this was the one area she excelled at. “I’d be happy to offer advice, Seth. I’d even be willing to part with some of my spring lambs to start your flock, once they’re weaned of course.” She hoped she didn’t show on her face the excitement she felt in her heart.

“I won’t take charity from a widow, except for the gift of Joe to Phoebe. I’ll pay you a fair price for any livestock you decide to sell.” He watched two ewes rubbing their heads together. “What breed of sheep are these? Might as well start my education tonight.”

Hannah swallowed, feeling a strange dryness in her throat. “These are a Cheviot and Merino mixture. Most sheep are crossbreeds these days, but you can still find pure if you look hard. I’m thinking of
adding some Lincoln to my flock. I’m sure you’ve seen them—they’re heavy wool producers.”

Seth scratched his jaw as though deep in thought. “Say, there’s a livestock auction in Kidron every Thursday. How ’bout you ride over with me and make sure I pay a fair price for any I decide to buy. You could point out what I need to watch for.” His skin was already tanned from a few sunny days in the fields.

Hannah suddenly felt like running for the wooded hills. During their outing to Mount Eaton, she’d felt comfortable and composed. Now that she’d voiced the idea flying around in her head, she suddenly felt like a girl at her first Sunday night singing. “I’ll check with Julia to make sure I’m not needed here, but if she can spare me, I’d love to ride to Kidron.” She tied her ribbons in a bow before her
kapp
blew off in the stiff breeze.

Seth plopped his hat back on his head as Julia stepped onto the porch and began waving. “It’s settled then. If your sister can spare you for an afternoon, you can begin your sheep lessons on the ride to Kidron.” He nodded and then strode toward his daughter, who had crawled halfway through the fence rails. “Come, Phoebe, let’s get washed up for dinner. You can see that Joe is already eating his supper.” He swung the child up to his shoulder as they walked to the house.

Hannah stood watching Phoebe’s lamb for several minutes as it hungrily nursed from the ewe. Maybe her move to Ohio wasn’t such a mistake after all. Tonight after supper she would write to her parents and brother. Lately she’d been reluctant to write for fear her unhappiness would spill onto the page and cause them worry. But with Seth’s announcement and Phoebe speaking in her presence, Hannah’s spirits lifted.

If only she could smooth things out with Simon and not ruffle any more of his feathers, she just might have reason to celebrate. Hope welled in her chest as she remembered Psalms 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”
With that she picked up her skirts and began to run toward the house and her supper.

Seth carried Phoebe all the way inside and straight to the sink, where they washed their hands as he held her aloft.

“Something wrong with that child’s legs, Seth Miller?” Julia asked, carrying a platter of sliced meat from the stove. The rest of the family was already seated at the table.

“Her legs are so short they barely reach the ground,” he said, swinging her into the chair. Everyone laughed. Everyone except Simon, that is. Seth’s
bruder
drummed his fingers on the tabletop until Hannah hurried into the room. She breathed heavily, as though she’d been running.

“Sorry if I kept you all waiting,” she said over her shoulder at the sink.

“Let’s bow our heads,” Simon said tersely, barely allowing Hannah time to sit down.

Seth folded his hands and gave thanks not only for the meal but also for God’s guidance in a difficult decision. Taking on another type of livestock was no small undertaking. An investment must be made not only in animals, but in food, medication, dietary supplements, lumber to build lambing pens, and new fencing to divide his pasture. He would also need a dog trained for herding and guarding against predators. And that was only the beginning. If he were to do his own shearing, more equipment would be needed down the road. But he felt he’d made the right choice. Sheep had always appealed to him as he drove the county backroads. And his opinion hadn’t changed since Hannah moved her flock here. The gift of the lamb to his daughter had been a nice gesture, considering how Phoebe had carried on the other night. And he uttered thanks for Phoebe’s one spoken word. “Joe” might not be much, but it was a start. He
couldn’t wait to tell Julia that maybe his daughter’s long period of silence was over.

“There’s gonna be a gathering, Seth,” Simon said, accepting a glass of iced tea from his wife. “This Saturday at Robert Yoder’s place—about the price of corn going through the roof. It’s the only thing some men want to plant this year. Both grain elevators are plumb out of seed corn and have to truck bags in from another state.”

Seth stopped his woolgathering and turned his attention to Simon. “With so much corn going to make ethanol, I see why many farmers don’t want to put in wheat or soybeans,” Seth said, surprised that Simon would discuss the topic at the dinner table. He seldom talked of business matters in front of women and children.

“Farm families still need to eat. I’m sticking to my wheat and rye crop, planting only enough corn for livestock feed,” Simon said, sliding several pieces of beef onto his plate.

“And for sweet corn on the cob,
daed,
” Emma said, reaching for the bowl of mashed potatoes.