A Widow's Hope (36 page)

“They’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like. Henry won’t
mind feeding and watering them, plus you know Emma is plumb in love with the lambs. But I’m asking you to reconsider the move and stay with us.” He drew a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve been rigid and judgmental. I should have talked to you before going to the elders. I regret that, Hannah, and ask you to forgive me.”

“I haven’t exactly behaved without bias myself, Simon. So I accept your apology and offer my own in return.” She reached out and grasped his dry, calloused hand.

The gesture deepened his personal sense of guilt.

“But I wish to return home for my own…personal…reasons,” she continued. “My wool business is gone—my loom and wheel, my supplies, my stock of wool from the last shearing.”

“The loom can be replaced. Since your animals are unhurt, their fleeces will keep growing. That we can be sure of.” Simon flattened his palms against his knees while his back rebelled against the low seat with a painful spasm. “The fire inspector will be out this afternoon. I expect him to complete his report and sign a release. Then I can walk to the neighbor’s and start calling English waste haulers. We can load up the wreckage and clean the barnyard. I’ve already sent a letter to Jacob Klobentz, the master barn builder, to stop out when he gets a chance. He’ll decide what can be done with the foundation, take measurements, draw up a construction plan, and write up an order to take to the lumberyard. The sooner we don’t have to look at this heap of rubble, the better.” He stared down at the still–smoking ruin from their high vantage point.

Hannah shook her head. “I’m happy to hear it, but that doesn’t change my decision.”

“Hear me out, Hannah. We’ll build you another workroom in the loft, this one even bigger and better sealed off from the dust down below. We’ll put in big sliding windows to let in light and fresh air.” He stood up shakily, the boulder finally getting the better of him. “I’ll buy you a new loom since you’ve been spending more than your share of money around here.”

Hannah rose to her feet too and held up both palms. “I appreciate the offer.
Danki
kindly, but my mind’s made up. I have my reasons for leaving. It isn’t because you and I are so much alike we butt heads—according to Julia, anyway. And she knows both of us better than anybody.” Hannah smiled at him.

“
Jah
…that she does. I don’t know what I’d do without that woman.”

“Nor I.” Hannah peered at the sun’s position to gauge the time. “Shall we start back? I don’t want her to worry about us.”

Simon took her arm, and they walked slowly through the grass. “Came in thick and green up here on the ridge just like you said it would,” he said.

“Long, sunny days can work wonders.”

“In more ways than one,” he said softly.

They enjoyed the stroll through a July meadow—hawks soaring high on air currents, butterflies flitting from one cornflower to the next, and grasshoppers springing before their footfalls were reminders that life would go on. The black scar on Simon’s once pristine farm would heal with time.

“About when do you think the barn raising will be?” she asked. “I’ll stay to help Julia organize meals for the workers.”

“I’ll know more when Jacob stops out to take measurements. I wouldn’t even know where to start figuring what materials we would need. He’s the barn expert in three counties, but I imagine we’ll have a new barn within the month.”

“Everyone has his own unique gifts,” she murmured.

“When the lumber arrives, he’ll come with a crew and do the preliminary layout. I can clean and repair the foundation while that’s going on, and get rid of the last of the debris. Julia will write notes to everyone in the area asking for their help once we set a date.”

“Will it be on a Saturday?” she asked.

“
Jah,
most likely.” Simon cleared his throat before changing the subject. “Hannah, your mind might be made up right now, but don’t
think you can’t change it. We are your family, and you will always be welcome here.”

Hannah glanced his way and then back down at her boots as they crossed the dry creek bed on stepping–stones.

Simon had seen tears in her eyes, so he said nothing more. The woes of women had never been his expertise—no more so than what materials to buy to rebuild a three–story barn.

As if the horror of a fire hadn’t been bad enough, smoke filtered throughout the house though they had kept all windows facing the barn closed. Each garment Hannah took from her closet or drawer had the same acrid smell. Everything needed to be laundered—the curtains, throw rugs, towels, and all the clothing for seven people. Laundry day stretched into three days as two women and two girls washed, hauled, and hung clothes on lines strung far from the house.

Then came the cleaning. Windows, walls, and floors needed to be washed from ash that drifted in on the breeze and settled on every flat surface. Julia tried her best, but her gnarly hands could do only so much. On Friday, after the laundry and most of the cleaning were done, Hannah hitched up the buggy and went to Berlin to shop and refill Julia’s prescriptions. Her nieces went along and proved to be a big help as they carefully packed the buggy with groceries.

Hannah hadn’t seen Seth since the fire, and that night they hadn’t spoken. While she’d been beating out brushfires in the pasture, he’d been spraying down the roof of the house. When she was hauling buckets to soak the garden, he was keeping a steady stream on the barn foundation. Finally, when she could no longer stand up from fatigue, she’d staggered inside, washed her hands and face, and collapsed on the bed. A long, soaking bath would have to wait. Hannah had immediately fallen to sleep and slept five dreamless hours. When
she awoke, Seth was gone, and she hadn’t seen him since. But that was about to change.

“Uncle Seth is here,” Emma said as they arrived home. “That’s his buggy.”

The girl seemed ecstatic. Hannah felt dizzy and weak–kneed. If not for the fire, she would have been on her way to Pennsylvania. Now she would have to stay at least a couple more weeks. And avoiding the man who raised her heart rate into the danger zone would be impossible.

Seth, along with Simon and the boys, was painting the side of the house that faced the barn. “You missed a spot, Uncle Seth,” Emma teased, running to join them.

Seth gave his niece a loose, one–armed hug. “Careful, now, or you’ll get paint on your dress.”

“
Daed,
can I help? I haven’t painted since I was little.”

“No, Emma. Your
mamm
and aunt need you in the house,” Simon answered without glancing up.

Emma looked cross, an unusual expression for the sweet–tempered girl. But Hannah wasn’t surprised Simon didn’t let her paint. Amish roles for males and females became specific as one left childhood behind.

Hannah lifted her bags onto the porch and hurried back to the buggy.

“Good afternoon, Hannah. Need a hand with those groceries?” Seth asked. He balanced the paintbrush on the rim of the can.

“No, we can manage just fine. Please don’t stop what you’re doing.” She hadn’t meant to sound irritable, but the temperature was ninety-four degrees, her shoes pinched her feet, and she couldn’t handle another painful conversation with him.

“As you wish.” Seth picked up the brush and dipped it into the can. He applied a long swath of paint with precision and without another glance in her direction.

Hannah marched inside with her bags, sending the girls back for
the rest. This would be a long two weeks if he were here underfoot all the time!

But fortunately that proved not to be the case.

Julia announced that they and the children would eat dinner together, but the men planned to work until dark. Seth and Simon ate alone after the rest of the family went upstairs.

During the ensuing days, the yard turned into a hubbub of activity, and Hannah hardly caught even a glimpse of Seth. An English hauler arrived to load the wreckage and cart it away. The master barn builder spent time with Simon compiling lists and returned a week later to supervise the unloading and sorting of the lumber order. After this, his crew came during late afternoons, after their other jobs, for the preliminary construction work. Julia said they were donating their labor for the replacement barn because the fire had been an act of God.

Other people came and went as their schedules allowed. They repaired the fences knocked down by fire equipment, whitewashed the sooty outbuildings, and replanted trampled bushes and shrubs that were away from the barn site.

Hannah stayed busy too. She barely had time to write to Thomas explaining her delay. She also wrote Julia’s letters to friends and neighbors announcing the barn raising. Try as she might, Julia couldn’t hold a pen even with the physical therapy.

With the big day still a week away, Hannah’s curiosity finally got the better of her. When her sister came inside to start another pot of coffee, Hannah mustered some courage. “I’ve not seen hide nor hair of Seth in more than a week. Isn’t he able to help his
bruder?
I hope he hasn’t caught that nasty bug going around,” Hannah said, concentrating on the potato she was peeling.

Julia dropped the coffee can with a clatter. “
Jah,
he’s been over to help. He’s cut and raked all Simon’s hay and will start baling tomorrow now that he’s done with his acres.” She stared at Hannah over her shoulder. “He thought if he tended our fields, Simon could spend
time with Mr. Klobentz and his crew. There’s plenty to decide. If we want any changes made from the original barn layout, now’s the time. And Simon needs to direct the men who are patching and painting the foundation and repairing other damage from the fire.”

Setting the fresh pot on the stove, Julia crossed her arms over her apron. “Seth harvested our entire crop after finishing his own, without sons to help him, I might add.”

Hannah lined up six more potatoes on the table. “A son would’ve been nice, but I’m sure he wouldn’t trade sweet Phoebe for a dozen boys.” She selected the next potato to peel.

Julia dropped the coffee mug she was rinsing. It shattered on the cast iron sink bottom.

“Is your arthritis very bad today, sister? If your hands are troubling you, I’ll wash those cups after I put these spuds on to boil.”

“No, I’ll do the cups myself. My hands are no worse than usual. The therapy seems to be helping a bit.” Julia cast Hannah a wilting look. “I’m a little curious. You noticed my brother-in-law’s absence around the house since the fire. And you are interested enough to inquire about his health. Yet when the man
is
around, you’re snappish or act like you’ve got a thorn in your foot or a mosquito bite where you can’t scratch.”

Hannah concentrated on her task and attacked another hapless potato zealously. “If you’re referring to my shopping trip last week with the girls, I must admit I was overly hot and tired that day. Please pass along my apology to Seth for my rudeness. But in general, I believe I treat Simon’s brother with Christian charity and patience.”

“Patience and charity might be sufficient for most people, but I’d gotten the idea enough had transpired that he might expect a little affection too,” Julia said, tossing the pieces of broken mug into the wastebasket.

“Then I’m afraid you would be mistaken.” Hannah carried the bowl of potatoes to the sink to wash.

Julia dried her hands on the towel with more fervor than necessary.
“Then I’m afraid you’ll have to apologize to him yourself. I’m done being the referee between two stubborn mules.” She threw the towel down on the counter and limped from the room.

Hannah was speechless.
Talk about being snappish.
The shock of the fire and stress of preparing for the barn raising must have frayed Julia’s nerves.

As much as possible on a busy farm, Hannah tried to steer clear of her sister’s path. She tended her flock and did her share of household chores while keeping a low profile. With the barn gone, hauled away to salvage and landfill, Hannah no longer had a workroom. Spinning wool or working at her loom had always boosted her spirits. Now her only retreat was her bedroom, which was much too hot and stuffy during late July.

With the enormous project fast approaching, Hannah found little time for private contemplation anyway. By the time she reached her room, she usually had enough energy only for prayers before her head hit the pillow. She didn’t inquire about Seth Miller after that tense day in the kitchen and also tried not to think about the man. She wasn’t quite so successful with the latter.

At long last, the day of the barn raising arrived with blue skies, a gentle breeze, and not a single cloud in sight. By dawn, a few cars and a steady stream of buggies had pulled up their lane. Matthew directed newcomers as to where to park and where to tie up horses. Several round hay stanchions had been set up where horses could eat their fill all day. Henry also carried buckets of water for the equine guests.

No one knew how many people would show up, but by seven o’clock at least two hundred were already milling around the Miller farm. More would come as soon as chores or necessary errands were finished. The bishop asked for silent prayers once the master builder indicated he was ready to start. Simon probably prayed for an injury-free day, with nothing more than splinters or a few smashed thumbs to contend with. Mr. Klobentz probably asked for the mortise and
tenon joints to fit together without much shaving and pounding with the sledgehammer. Hannah asked that she could serve her family at the work frolic without too many thoughts about Seth. Soon she wouldn’t need to worry about running into him around every corner or twist in the path.