A Witch's Handbook of Kisses and Curses

BOOK: A Witch's Handbook of Kisses and Curses
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PRAISE FOR MOLLY HARPER’S WITTY PARANORMAL NOVELS

“Harper is simply fantastic.”


RT Book Reviews

The Nice Girls series

“A chuckle-inducing, southern-fried version of Stephanie Plum.”


Booklist

The Naked Werewolf series

“Comedic entertainment at its best.”


Single Titles

THE CARE AND FEEDING OF STRAY VAMPIRES

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK!

“A perfect combination of smarts and entertainment with a dash of romance . . . . Harper has found a place at the top of my ‘must buy’ list.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“Harper’s feel-good novel is great beach reading, filled with clever humor, snark, silliness, and endearing protagonists.”


Booklist

NICE GIRLS DON’T BITE THEIR NEIGHBORS

“Harper serves up a terrific fourth dose of vamp camp from Half-Moon Hollow . . . . The stellar supporting characters, laugh-out-loud moments, and outrageous plot twists will leave readers absolutely satisfied.”


Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

“Molly Harper is the queen of side-splitting quips . . . . Hilariously original with imaginative adventures and one-of-a-kind characters.”


Single Titles

THE ART OF SEDUCING A NAKED WEREWOLF

“Harper’s gift for character building and crafting a smart, exciting story is showcased well.”


RT Book Reviews
(4 stars)

“The characters are appealing and the plot is intriguingly original.”


Single Titles

HOW TO FLIRT WITH A NAKED WEREWOLF

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK!

“A rollicking, sweet novel that made me laugh aloud . . . . Mo’s wisecracking, hilarious voice makes this novel such a pleasure to read.”


New York Times
bestselling author Eloisa James

“A page-turning delight . . . fraught with sexual tension.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“A light, fun, easy read, perfect for lazy days.”


New York Journal of Books

NICE GIRLS DON’T LIVE FOREVER

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK and
Reviewers’ Choice Award winner!

“Hilariously fun.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“A wonderful mix of humor, romance, mystery, and small-town flair.”


Bitten by Books

“If you aren’t reading Molly Harper, you should be. The Jane Jameson books are sheer fun and giggle. No, make that chortling, laugh-out-loud till you gasp for breath fun.”


Night Owl Reviews

NICE GIRLS DON’T DATE DEAD MEN

“Fast-paced, mysterious, passionate, and hilarious.”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“With its quirky characters and the funny situations they get into, whether they be normal or paranormal,
Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men
is an amazing novel.”


Romance Reviews Today

NICE GIRLS DON’T HAVE FANGS

RT Book Reviews
TOP PICK!

“Harper’s take on vampire lore will intrigue and entertain . . . . Jane’s snarky first-person narrative is as charming as it is hilarious.”


Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

“Jane is an everygirl with a wonderful sense of humor and quick sarcasm. Add in the mystery and romance and you have your next must-read novel!”


RT Book Reviews
(4
1
/
2
stars)

“So many funny lines and scenes that I dog-eared my copy just to go back and re-read them.”


All About Romance

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

How to Run with a Naked Werewolf
Excerpt

About Molly Harper

For the teachers who help “flighty, imaginative children” everywhere find direction

Acknowledgments

T
hank you, as always, to the people who always support me through my ridiculously self-complicated writing process. Thank you to the readers who love the characters of Half-Moon Hollow as much as I do. To my husband and kids, for putting up with unfolded laundry and Mommy’s talking to imaginary people. To my agent, Stephany, who is always patient. And to my editor, Abby, who is to blame for the possum-related content of this book.

1

If you are fortunate enough to receive a message from the other side, pay attention to it.

—A Witch’s Compendium of Curses

M
y week started with spectral portents of doom floating over my bed while I was trying to have anniversary sex with my boyfriend. It was all downhill from there.

Stephen had not been pleased when I’d pushed him off of me, rolled out of bed, and yelled, “That’s it! I’m going!” at the image of a half-moon burning against my ceiling. I mean, I guess there are limits to what men are willing to put up with, and one’s girlfriend interacting with invisible omens is a bit out of a perfectly nice investment broker’s scope. He seemed to think I was huffing off after taking offense to that counterclockwise tickle he’d improvised near the end.

Of course, telling him about the increasingly forceful hints I’d received from my noncorporeal grandmother for the last two weeks would have made the situation worse. Stephen tended to clam up when we discussed my family and our “nonsense.” He refused to discuss
Nana Fee or the promise I’d made to her that I’d travel all the way from our tiny village to the wilds of America. So I’d tried ignoring the dreams, the omens, the way my alphabet soup spelled out “HlfMunHollw.”

I tried to rationalize that a deathbed promise to a woman who called herself a witch wasn’t exactly a binding contract. But my grandma interrupting the big O to make her point was the final straw.

And so I was moving to Half-Moon Hollow, Kentucky, indefinitely, so I could locate four magical objects that would prevent a giant witch-clan war and maintain peace in my little corner of northwestern Ireland.

Yes, I was aware that statement sounded absolutely ridiculous.

Sometimes it paid to have a large, tech-savvy family at your disposal. When you tell them, “I have a few days to rearrange my life so I can fly halfway across the world and secure the family’s magical potency for the next generation,” they hop to do whatever it takes to smooth the way. Aunt Penny had not only booked my airline tickets but also located and rented a house for me. Uncle Seamus had arranged quick shipping of the supplies and equipment I would need to my new address. And my beloved, and somewhat terrifying, teenage cousin Ralph may have broken a few international laws while online “arranging” a temporary work visa so I wouldn’t starve while I was there. Not everybody in our family could work magic, but each had his or her own particular brand of hocus-pocus.

Although my mother was an only child, my nana was
one of nine. So I had great-aunts and uncles coming out of my ears, and their children were the right age to serve as proper aunts and uncles. I had more third and fourth cousins than I could count. Literally—I tried once at Christmas, got dizzy, and had to sit down. They never treated me as if there were any sort of line dividing me from the rest of the McGavocks. So when my mother walked out and I was shipped off to my nana, it was as if the whole town was one very large, very loud family. When Aunt Penny permed my hair, to disastrous results, it was my schoolteacher who undid the damage in her kitchen sink. When my uncles were too traumatized by incidents that shall remain undisclosed to let me get behind the wheel of a car again, it was the postman, Tom Warren, who taught me to drive. They gave me a home I could depend on for the first time in my life. They gave me a family. They gave me back chunks of my childhood I’d missed until then. I would do whatever it took to make sure they were healthy and protected.

BOOK: A Witch's Handbook of Kisses and Curses
13.22Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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