A World Within (3 page)

‘This film will showcase the life of Daddy and Mummy. It is sketchy because despite our efforts we could not get all the old photographs.’

What is he talking about? My life? Asha’s life? What do these children know about my life?
But now do I?

4

Dadoo and Mamma have gone to sleep after the party and all of us, brothers and sisters are in the living room. I have asked them to talk about their relationship with Dadoo. But there is silence.

Finally Mala didi starts to speak slowly and softly. ‘I am forty-nine years old now and my earliest memories of Daddy go back to the time when he had started building the house in Solan. I was about six then and he was thirty-six. It was 1968, a very different era. In those times people used to build houses only after they retired from service or they just went back to their villages to live in their ancestral houses. But Daddy was different. He had the house built and ours was the second house in this area – the only other house was the palace of Raja of Bhagat state. I remember Mamma telling me that there was nothing but a jungle all around and it was considered a dangerous and lonely area infested with wild animals. People were surprised why Daddy was building a house in wilderness. He would tell them, “Today it may be lonely but it is cheap and I can afford it, after some years it will be one of the most expensive lands in Solan.” How right he was! Our house is in the middle of the most posh area of Solan town today.’

‘What else do you remember, didi, from that time?’ asks Deepak, as we all look at her expectantly.

‘I was a small child then but I have clear memories of both Daddy and Mamma working like labourers while constructing the house. They carried cement, sand and bricks on their heads while I played in the sand. They were not ashamed of doing so. May be Daddy did not have money to employ more labourers, but they were so proud of building their house themselves. Daddy was also the second person in the town to own a vehicle. It was a second-hand scooter that he bought on installments. Everyone looked at us with awe and my friends envied me and treated me with special favours because of it,’ she says laughing, ‘and you know my childhood was very secure and
bindaas
[carefree]. I don’t have any regrets. Daddy loved us all but more than love, he respected us. This is very important for a child.’

‘Yes, he would always explain things in detail, even minor issues, with lot of reasoning. He allowed me to disagree with him even as a child. He always respected other’s decision,’ recalls Vikram smiling.

Mala didi continues, ‘I was about eight when I fell for a pair of purple- and orange-coloured earrings, which were for five rupees and were considered very expensive those days; besides, Daddy’s income wasn’t that much but, of course, I was blissfully unaware of that. Anyway, I told Daddy that I wanted the earrings and for one week, he would take me to the shop and reason out with me that I should drop the idea. He told me that those were expensive and he could not afford it, he would tell me about his monthly income and expenditure but I was too young and foolish to understand that. He told me that they were too big for me, the colour would not suit me and so on. But I was adamant. Finally he purchased the earrings for me but before that he made me promise that for entire one year I would not ask for anything else. I readily agreed, one year was too far but the earrings were right there gleaming in front of me! I was delighted and felt on top of the world. But this happiness did not last long.’

‘What happened?’ I ask, curious.

‘There was a birthday party in the neighbourhood after a few days and Mamma gave the earrings as a birthday present. I cried and cried. In the evening when Daddy came I complained to him. I still remember his words to Mamma, “Asha, that was a wrong thing to do. These were her earrings. For one full week I tried to convince her to drop the idea but she did not agree. She promised me that she would buy nothing else for the entire year if I bought her those earrings. You had no right to give away something that belonged to her.”’

‘There is another incident that I recall clearly. I was very fond of burfi and that too from Premji’s Sweet Shop. He made the finest burfi in the world. Daddy used to buy it regularly from there but suddenly he stopped bringing it from Premji’s. I threw a tantrum, “I will not eat any sweet which is not from Premjis.” He told me that others also made good burfi, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer. Ultimately Daddy took me to Premji’s shop, and that’s when I got to know the reason why he had stopped buying mithai from there. The owner’s son, who had started to sit at the cash counter, was Daddy’s student. He refused to take payment from his teacher. When we entered the shop, he touched Daddy’s feet. Daddy said to him, “I am in a dilemma. My daughter likes sweets only from your shop but you refuse to take money. I want to buy sweets from your shop so that she is happy but I will do so only if you take the payment otherwise this poor girl will remain unhappy.” Thankfully, for me, he understood and I was able to have my burfi.’

Vikram adds, ‘Yeah, didi is right. Daddy always stood by his principles. I also remember an incident, once a man from Kuljar, our native village, had come to meet Daddy for some work. He had brought lots of gifts – sugarcane, jaggery, ghee and even a box of mithai. I was waiting for him to go so that I could savour all that. Daddy talked to him for about half an hour and to my horror the man left taking all those gifts back with him. I was so depressed that I started crying. For a long time Daddy kept on asking me the reason for my outburst. I was so angry at him. In the end I told him the reason. He laughed aloud and hugged me and said, “It was wrong to keep this mithai.” And then he explained, “It is not wrong to express gratitude by giving gifts to people we love and respect and we must honour the feelings of others. But this man wanted an undue favour from me. That is unfair.” I asked him, “Will you not do his work?” He shook his head, “I will try to help him if it is fair, just and right. He has come from so far with so much hope.” I was confused and reasoned that if he would do the work, then it made sense to accept the sweets and the other gifts. He explained to me that had the man come without a motive, he would have accepted the gifts, but this was a kind of bribery. He told me not to be greedy in life.’

Suddenly Pooja, Deepak’s wife intervenes, ‘Can I also say something, didi, as a daughter-in-law?’

I nod.

She is emotional and talks between sobs, ‘When I got married I found Daddy to be hyperactive and too energetic. I did not understand him but then slowly I realized what a caring person he was. He was more caring and protective than my father. He accepted me like a daughter. He would always stand up for me, I clearly remember how once he did everything he could to get me a visa for Singapore, where Deepak was posted. We had gone to Chandigarh for the visa application. The officials there were quite rude and indifferent; and without even listening to us they told us that it would take lot of time. Daddy first tried reasoning out with them, but then it gradually led to a heated argument. But Daddy ensured I got the visa the same day. That’s when I realized that till then no one had ever fought for me or for my rights.’

‘He always encouraged me to study. I had never dreamt that I would study further after marriage. He was the one who motivated me to join a distance-learning course and used to tell Mamma to let me study when I had my exams.’

‘I admire him for his adventurous spirit and his pro-activeness. He is such a friendly person. In Singapore he used to chat up with everyone around him, in markets, buses and trams. He was never class-conscious and used to bring Indian workers to our house and would ask me to serve tea and food to them. After he left for India, these people would enquire about his health regularly and always ask if I needed any help. He gave love and received love in abundance.’

‘When I was expecting Madhav, he was so caring, frequently asking me whether I needed something special to eat. He is a man with a clear heart: Couple of times when he scolded me only to realize that I was not at fault, he would come and apologize. I believe that he is the best father in the world, and I think he loves me the most.’

Deepak looks at his wife smiling and says, ‘This is impossible. I think he loves me the most because I am the youngest.’

‘No, I think he loves me the most,’ says Mala didi, ‘I am confident I am his favourite child. I am guilty of not becoming his ideal child but now when I am nearly fifty I realize that despite all his efforts – to providing me the best education, to showering love on me as much as he could, to giving me so many other opportunities – I did not make use of them because something, somewhere went wrong. I married very young without parent’s consent. Daddy was so angry with me. For years he did not make any contact, but later he reconciled and accepted me. When he saw that I was unhappy in my marriage he told me to walk out of it and return to him. He always said that he would support me and my daughter and we need not worry. But I did not have the courage. I only wish that I should have paid heed to what he was saying much earlier. I wasted many years! Now I am divorced and happy. I love him the most in the world and I know he loves me in his own special way.’

‘Let me tell you all something,’ says Vikram raising his hands, ‘once I had asked him this question, who was his favourite child and whom did he love the most?’

‘What did he say?’ Mala didi asks expectantly as we all look towards Vikram.

‘He said, for parents all children are the same but parents love that child the most at a given point of time who is in trouble,’ said Vikram.

Suddenly Deepak asks, ‘Was Daddy always bald?’

‘Deepu, don’t ask childish things, what kind of question is this?’ I object.

‘I am not joking, I am curious. I want to know. I do not remember seeing him with hair.’

He has a point, I start thinking and get a vague and hazy picture of his with thick mane but I am not sure. As far as I remember he always had less hair on his head, though he was not bald. I am about to say this when didi intervenes, ‘I remember that he had good black hair, but he lost these quite early, probably in early forties.’

‘Don’t we have an old photograph?’ Deepak asks.

‘We will find one, in those long lost albums stored in the cupboards, a picture of a young Daddy. That can wait but you tell us about Dadoo now,’ I say to Deepak.

I can feel his anxiety and palpable tension. He wants to talk about Dadoo but he is emotional. Though he is thirty-six he is hesitant to talk in front of us because he is the youngest. Haltingly he starts, ‘The word “impossible” was never in his dictionary for both himself and his children. He gave me full freedom to do whatever I wanted. He never exerted pressure on me; his faith in me was like a rock. I know that no one in the family believed that I would be selected in the National Institute of Technology [NIT], Hamirpur, and that too in the merit list was beyond imagination. I had scored only fifty-four per cent marks in plus two. But Daddy was the only one who said that I could do it.’

I blush as he reminds me of this. I was the one who had gone to check the result and conveyed that he had not made it. I had scanned the list of selected candidates and did not find his name. I did not bother to look for his name in the merit list; I never expected his name to be there! Later, I was quite surprised when I got to know that he was among the top twenty students.

Deepak continues, ‘After engineering when I wanted to do MBA from the Indian Institute of Management [IIM], again all of you doubted me and suggested it was waste of time, for the last nearly ten years not a single student from Himachal Pradesh had been selected in IIM, only geniuses got selected and I was not one of them. But then again only Daddy had faith in me and supported me wholeheartedly. I was called for interview by all the IIMs. It was all because of him. He never forced me to study like my friends’ parents did. He allowed me to proceed the way I wanted to. He was always there whenever we needed a shoulder to cry or someone to talk to. Moreover the confidence that he had in himself was enormous. I am now working in the most competitive global market but I must say that I do not possess that kind of confidence in life that he had. He has so many qualities; none of us have his qualities.’

‘What exactly do you mean?’ I murmur.

‘He always believed that if there is a problem, then there has to be a solution. He never gives up. There is always a sense of security when he is around. Even now I feel if Daddy is here no one can touch us, nothing will go wrong. Mala didi has his compassion and humanity; you have his intellect and worldliness. Vikram has his quality of shouldering responsibility. I unfortunately have none except that I am not a bad person and I am fair in my dealings. But these are so few in all four of us combined. We can’t match what Daddy has,’ he pauses and then continues, ‘I remember one incident that I cherish as a very valuable lesson. I was in class nine and had gone to the market with Daddy. We purchased grocery items from Gupta uncle’s shop. Daddy paid the bill but when we got home and checked the bill, he realized that Gupta-ji had taken seventy rupees less. He told me to go back and return the money. I was reluctant and insisted that it was not our fault and that he miscalculated. Daddy replied, “It is not his fault too, no one would want to take less money. And since we know the truth now, it would be injustice to keep it. Money-related decisions must be based on our inner voice, always listen to your inner voice.” He is my greatest motivator and mentor.’

Vikram says, ‘It is so strange that Daddy is having this problem with his memory, he has not just been a maths teacher, but he has a very analytical mind and he has been so good with money.’

‘Yes, Vikram is right, Daddy supported a big family with his modest salary and he knew how to multiply money. He saved sensibly and invested wisely. He bought land and then sold these plots on premium, thereby growing his wealth. It was his farsightedness that made us what we are today. Each one of us got best education and never felt that he could not support our education however expensive it was. I am in banking sector and I can say with total confidence that he would have done great had he been in banking and finance,’ Deepak adds.