Authors: Martina Devlin
Tags: #Women's Fiction, #Literary Fiction, #Fantasy
“Is it all right for you to be out here, talking to me? Isn’t there a curfew for men?” A nod. “So I’ve landed you in trouble again?”
“What can they do – send me to matingplace as punishment?”
“But they’ll discipline you for breaking the curfew, won’t they?”
“Suppose so. But they’ll know I didn’t leave the easy area – my chip tells them where I am. So they mightn’t be too suspicious. I’ll say I hurt my foot, and had to rest it before I could try to get back to Hutchtown.”
“Will they believe you?”
“Maybe yes, maybe no. I’ll live. Especially if I have hope.”
“I won’t let you down, Harper.”
“When do you think you’ll have news?”
“Soon. Tomorrow, I’ll meet this woman – I’ll put your case to her. If she won’t help, I’ll find a different way. I promise. You’re not alone in Harmony, Harper. I’m with you.”
“Except you’re not.”
“Part of you is always with me.” She caught him by the wrists and laid his palms flat on her stomach. “I found you in the eat-easy, didn’t I? I didn’t let you vanish from my life.”
“That’s true.”
They gazed at one another.
When she spoke again, it was with reluctance. “They won’t believe the foot-sprain story if you stay out much longer.”
“No.”
“Is it far?”
“I can pick up a ride near here. I know a spot where some late shiftworkers get collected.”
“I’ll see you soon, Harper. I promise.”
“I’ll watch for you.”
“Harper, wait. Before you go, please let me know if you’re glad to see me again. Please say it.”
He turned back, the shadows making his face impenetrable to her. “Can’t you tell?”
Constance shook her head.
“I’m so full of moes, I’m trembling from them.”
“Positive moes?”
“Constance, I haven’t felt free since I came to this city. There’s been a weight sitting on my chest, pushing me to the ground. Just the sight of you lifts some of that load. I’m not on my knees any more.”
“Harper, you were never on your knees. That’s why I love you.”
She was hoping to hear the words ‘I love you back’. But Harper had dissolved into the darkness.
Chapter 29
There was no small talk when Constance met Goodwill the following morning.
“Goodwill, I need your help.”
“I’ll do anything I can for you.”
Instead of going to work, Constance had made her way to the Circle zone, to Devotion and Goodwill’s twoser. She had the perfect alibi for shirking her duties at Shaperhaus. If her comtel was checked, they’d think she was attempting to infiltrate the Silenced.
“The man I mated with – we talked during Himtime,” said Constance. “And now, I’d like to do something for him.” She took a deep breath. “I want to help him escape from Sisterland. I know it’s a lot to ask. But please do this. Do it for me.”
Goodwill’s sympathetic expression faltered.
Constance pressed on. “Do it for the baby he fathered – it’s your brother’s grandchild.”
“You’re asking too much, Constance!”
“Hear me out. Symbols matter, you said so yourself. Like Silence, he could be a symbol. Free him, and make a public gesture of it: the Silenced refusing to collude with the Nine’s policy of keeping men caged.”
“Hold on there. ‘Caged’ is a strong term. Men aren’t captives – they have a reasonable life. Food, clothing, shelter.”
“They aren’t free.”
“Not exactly, no.”
“You’re either free or you’re not.”
“Stop using silkenspeak on me.”
“This isn’t silkenspeak and you know it.”
“All right, males aren’t free. But maybe they don’t want to be free. Maybe they’re content as they are.”
“Listen to yourself, Goodwill. We don’t have zoos because we think it’s wrong to keep wild animals in captivity. So how is it acceptable with people?”
“Males aren’t people the way women are. I don’t hold with downgrading all of them – some show promise. But trying to make a symbol of a man, on a par with Silence, is lunacy. Great Beloved, she was your other! Show some respect!”
“I am showing respect. That’s why I want my man set free.”
“
Your
man?”
“Yes, mine. Just as I’m his.”
“Careful, my dear! You don’t sound quite yourself. Have you been sleeping badly? Maybe the speed-up pills are disagreeing with you. Remember your babyfusion. Your responsibility is to your child now, not to some man.”
“He’s not ‘some man’ – his name is Harper. Together, we babyfused. If you care anything about me, Goodwill, show me. Otherwise, it’s just empty words.”
Goodwill scratched at her neck, mottling the flesh into angry stripes. “I need to discuss this with somebody else, Constance. It’s not my decision.”
“But will you back me? Say you will, please. You’ve known me all my life. Devotion’s my source. You say your brother’s my father. If that’s the case, we’re family. I know that’s not supposed to have too much significance in Sisterland. But it ought to. Promise you’ll do your best, Goodwill. I want this more than anything. Help me. I’m begging you.”
It was an appeal Goodwill could not resist. “When you talk about this – this Harper – escaping, where do you want him sent?”
“Outsideland.”
“That’s a tall order. For starters, we don’t know exactly where it is. Or how to reach it. We have no escape network. And we don’t have any spare capacity right now – important plans are being drawn up.”
“Why not make Harper part of it all? A plan within a plan. I don’t pretend it’s going to be easy. But it’s possible, surely. You have contacts everywhere, you told me so yourself. Steal him from Hutchtown, and spirit him away to the outer reaches of Sisterland. Then put him on a ship. The Outsidelander came here by sea. Why not do it in reverse?”
“The coast is a long way from Harmony. And the women who hid him on his journey would face consequences if caught. There could be no forgiveness for such a transgression. It flouts every principle of Sisterland.”
“To help another human being flouts every principle of Sisterland? Doesn’t that tell us something?”
Goodwill rubbed hard at a spot between her eyebrows. “Conditions for men will be improved, given time. Right now, we have other priorities.”
“Think of it as challenging the Nine’s authority. This man is a meet who refused to mate on demand – he mated with me, and then wouldn’t do it again with another woman. He said even animals have a choice about whether or not to mate. They sent him to an eat-easy because they were short of labour. Otherwise, who knows how they might have punished him? Freeing him is a gesture that won’t be lost on the Nine.”
“I guess that makes him an unusual man.”
“How many men do we know, to judge whether or not he’s unusual? But this much I’m sure about. He’s sensitive, independent and brave. He said no to the system. Isn’t that what the Silenced is trying to do, too? Please, Goodwill. Let’s help him.”
“Your feeings for this man are dangerous, Constance.”
“You must have had feelings for your brother or you wouldn’t have chosen him to mate with Devotion. Feelings are natural. That’s something else the Nine has done – made us nervous of feelings. They’ve convinced sisters they’re wrong.”
“Tread carefully, my dear. You’re in a vulnerable condition, between babyfusion and losing your other. Love between a woman and a man is impossible.”
“Wouldn’t you have freed your brother, if you could?”
“Maybe. But he discontinued years ago. Not long after you were born.” Goodwill’s voice thickened. “Matingplace doesn’t agree with men.”
“How do you know he discontinued?”
“I tried to see him again.” This was offered up as a shameful admission.
A spark of triumph ignited inside Constance. “Goodwill, did you have loving feelings for your brother?”
“Nothing as strong as that. Some traces of affection, I suppose.”
“Affection’s a start. If you had a son, wouldn’t you love him?”
“I have no child. I was never fortunate enough to babyfuse. You’re asking me to imagine how I might feel.”
“So, imagine.”
A beat. “Yes. I’d love my son.”
“So will you help someone else’s son to escape?”
Another beat, longer than the first. “I’ll speak to my sisters in the movement. I can’t make any promises. But we’ll look into it.”
Constance went close to Goodwill, taking her by the hand. “Your brother is gone, Goodwill. But something of him lives on in me. And in my child now, thanks to Harper.”
“I’ll do my best for your Harper.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“How soon? Harper can’t stay in Sisterland. He’ll wither away here.”
“It’s not my decision.”
“Aren’t you the leader?”
“You flatter me, Constance. I’m not without influence. But there’s a sister more senior than me who needs to be won over. Someone from our organisation will be in touch.”
“How long do you expect it to take?”
“Why the rush?”
“Once I have my baby, I can’t be sure of anything. Not even that I’ll still be around.”
The air shifted between them, solidifying. “My dear, are you at risk? Is there something you haven’t told me?”
“The Nine didn’t like a memory interchange I uploaded – its solution was to send me to MUM. Before that happened, the Outsidelander was caught, and acted as a distraction. And I suppose Silence, and my babyfusion, make me a special case. But the Nine will deal with me after I have the baby. I’m under no illusions about that.”
Goodwill’s eyes bulged. “This escape plan should be for you, not Harper!”
“I can’t go anywhere – it wouldn’t be safe for my baby.”
“Constance, I’m afraid for you. Though . . . how can I be? Fear’s a delisted moe.”
“Moes can’t be delisted. Not permanently. They can be discouraged. Suppressed. Denied. But they can’t be de-selected for good. Think how love wouldn’t conform to rationing, despite the best efforts of earlier Nines. All moes are just as resistant. They’re only buried, not abolished. I can feel fear, too – I may not like it, it’s not a moe that brings me any comfort, but it pushes me to do something for Harper.”
Goodwill pressed the heel of a hand against her sternum, trying to moderate her racing heartbeat. “We need to stay rational. There’s a risk that moe could undo the two of us.”
“And there’s a risk that lack of moe could undo all of us.”
Chapter 30
Constance ticked her way through a list left for her by the Shaper Mother, who did not appear. At times, she felt spasms in her lower back, and had to walk round the room to relieve the discomfort. They reminded her another babyfusion check-up was due, and she made a lunchtime appointment. Babyfusion cases were always prioritised, even if it meant other sisters were bounced down the list.
The medico ran some tests on Constance and, with brisk approval, told her she was a healthy sourcing sister. Walking back to work afterwards, Constance came upon a crowd gathered under the giant wings above Shaperhaus. They were staring at the screen on the far side of the square. Constance shielded her eyes with her hand to see the image more clearly. On continual loop, it showed three women in red scarves on a rope ladder scaling the Beloved statue in the park. At the top, they tied a red bow about her neck.
“Somebody says they belong to a group that has spontaneous
moe eruptions,” said one of the onlookers. “They can’t restrain themselves – they’re capable of anything!”
“Why is this being shown on a public screen?” demanded another.
Back in the office, the Shaper Mother was leaning against Constance’s desk. “Have you seen it?” she asked. Constance nodded. “Such a ridiculous gesture, but it drew a crowd to Beloved Park, and leaflets were distributed before the peers had the situation under control. These acts of civil disobedience are cropping up all over the city. But gaining access to the public entscreen system to upload that image is in another league. I suspect we may have underestimated this movement, Constance. Speaking of which, your comtel showed you in the Circle zone yesterday. I presume you saw sense, and were trying again with your Silenced contact. What news?”
“Nothing yet, mother. But I have hopes. Progress was made. If you could give me a little more time, I should have something for you.”
The Shaper Mother tapped a reprimand on Constance’s forearm. “You need to redouble your efforts.”
“Yes, mother.”
That evening after work, Constance stood on the street, considering what to do. With the Shaper Mother pushing hard, she knew she hadn’t much time to persuade the Silenced leadership to spirit away Harper. But she couldn’t force the pace with Goodwill. The desire to see Harper was keen in her, but it was risky to make contact. Time enough when she had an escape plan to share with him.
She needed to eat, but the bright lighting and noisy atmosphere of an eat-easy held no appeal this evening. There was still time to reach the dine-all attached to her unit. She didn’t usually bother with it, finding the meals staid, but it was exactly the kind of wholesome food she ought to be eating now. She turned her hand thumb outwards, and on her comtel clicked through a request to hold a dinner.