Absence of Faith (14 page)

"Well, you're gonna have to
convince her of that. She's pretty shook up and believes she went
to hell. I'm not so sure you're telling us everything," Homer
responded.

"I'm sure there is an explanation
for this, and you just have to believe," the pastor said. "I will
talk to her personally."

"I heard that one of the
doctors...what's his name, Hyll, had the same thing happen to him,
and you just said it was the work of the devil...so I think they
really went to hell," Willard McJames shouted from a pew in the
back.

"Well, Willard, if that's what you
believe, then I think you should be here on more Sundays," Pastor
Millard said. "You would think differently."

Laughter escaped from the audience
and echoed in the high ceiling and around the tiny stained glass
windows like the flapping wings of a thousand wild birds. Willard
stood up quickly as if his seat were on fire.

"Well, I'm not gonna take this! I
think we should go to a higher authority. I think we should talk to
the church elders," Willard yelled over the laughter.

The crowd went silent, and then
flared up with everyone talking at once.

Linda looked at Carson - his lips
were curled tightly as he tapped his hand on the side of his
leg.

"May I have your attention,
please!" a voice boomed over the audience. "May I have your
attention?"

A man stepped out of the crowd from
the back of the church. Heads turned and eyes widened. The noise
slowly died down.

"I'm Doctor Carson Hyll, and I
suffered from the Hellfire Syndrome," he announced.

The crowd went silent as if the
dark chill from outside had seeped into the room and paralyzed
them.

"My belief in God and church are as
strong as anyone's, and I experienced it, and I don't believe I
went to hell. There is a medical explanation for the symptoms, but
we haven’t found it yet. I don't believe I died and came back. I
don't believe anybody has...I believe something is happening and
that we just don't have enough information to make any solid
conclusions," Carson explained.

"Willard, Martha always said you
should come to church more," a large, overweight woman from the
front row shouted, piercing the audience with her booming voice.
"Ever since she died, we ain't seen you in here since."

"Shusss, Loretta. Keep your
opinions to yourself," Willard shot back. "The world would be a lot
better off."

"Don't push your luck, Willard.
Everybody knows you as the neighborhood grouch," the woman fired
back.

The audience laughed again. Linda
looked at her husband and sensed something was wrong. It was the
way he talked to the congregation and the look in his eyes when the
crowd laughed. Something was not right, but she didn't know what.
She was in a fog that was slowly swallowing her.

"Doctor Hyll is right," Pastor
Millard added. "There is nothing to fear. Let us make our faith
stronger by praying. Let us pray."

The minister bowed his head and the
congregation followed. After several seconds, he raised his head
and motioned to the organ player. Sound filled the church like
thousands of butterflies flittering in every corner and crevice.
The chorus added to the sound with soft, velvety voices that flowed
through the air like many colored lengths of silk.

When the service ended, the pastor
made his way to the entrance of the church, moving gingerly through
the crowd. He stopped in the doorway and greeted the parishioners
as they left, as he had done every Sunday in the past. When Carson
and Linda approached, he grabbed both of Carson's hands.

"Thank you. Will you stay awhile
and we'll talk more," Pastor Millard said.

"Sure," Carson said.

Linda and Carson waited near the
doorway as the congregation filed past. It seemed the line would
never end. It was a service most people in Ocean Village would not
forget.

"Thanks again for waiting.
Come...we'll go to my office and talk," the minister told
them.

Carson and Linda looked at each
other and followed the pastor to his office in the back of the
church. The old door creaked as it opened revealing a tiny,
dark-paneled office that smelled dusty and stale.

"Sit down. I'd offer you coffee,
but I ran out and the churchwomen won't replace it until tomorrow,"
Pastor Millard said.

"At least he's being honest,"
Carson said looking at Linda.

"He should be." Linda
smiled.

"Thank you for standing up today.
You helped a lot," the pastor said.

"I was only telling them what I
know," Carson said sitting down on a beige metal folding
chair.

Linda sat next to him on an
identical chair and looked around the office.

"But they believed you because
you're a doctor and because it happened to you," the pastor
explained. "Ever since the newspaper printed that story it has been
nothing but hell her, excuse the word, no pun intended."

"What do you mean?"

"I have parishioners calling me day
and night; some show up in the middle of the night and stay all
night. I don't think I've slept a full night in several days. I'm
ready to collapse," Pastor Millard explained. "I think this town
has gone nuts."

"What are you talking about?"
Carson said.

"The Hellfire Syndrome. Mrs.
Whitehead is not the only one. I've had parishioners call me
hysterical on the phone, saying that they went to hell and have the
burns to prove it!"

"How many?"

"At least five. Winfred Paisley was
so frightened of the experience that she refuses to go home and
lives in the spare room in the church. I don't mind, though. She
cleans the church and my office during the day," Pastor Millard
said smiling.

"Have you seen any of the
victims?"

"Yes. I went to some of their
houses and they tell me they had this nightmare of falling into
hell. They see fire, then they wake up and their skin is burned,
and none of them have been in the sun," he said. "Their skin was
sunburned. I saw it with my own eyes. The most disturbing thing
about all of this is that some of them have been unconscious for a
whole day."

"A whole day!" Carson raised his
voice.

"Yes, and I'm afraid if this keeps
up some may never wake up. We may find a whole town of corpses
lying in their beds."

"Did any of them say they were
falling into a tunnel and into the fire?"

"Yes, that's exactly what they
said. Is that the nightmare you had?"

"Yes, it is," Carson
said.

Linda noticed a change in Carson's
face.

"I don't understand how all these
different people can have the same nightmare?" Pastor Millard
said.

"I don't either," Carson
replied.

"They would all have to have the
same fears and the same experiences to have the same nightmare,"
Linda added. "And what’s the chance of that happening? I think they
really went somewhere."

"But, many of the people in this
town have had the same experiences. They've lived here all their
lives, met their spouses here, married, bought a house, raised a
family, and then one of the spouses died. They have the same fears
of God, of Hell, and of evil that I have been preaching to them
since I started here," the minister explained.

"Doesn't make sense," Carson said.
"No two people think the same or have the same fears or the same
level of fear except maybe twins or triplets, but even then it's
marginal. It's impossible. Take me for instance. I didn't grow up
in this town."

"But you are a God-fearing man and
you have faith. You have the same beliefs as any of us here about
heaven and hell. Your fears of doing wrong are the same - you fear
the same fate - eternity in hell," the pastor said. "What about all
the people who have had near-death experiences and claimed they
went to heaven? They all describe a similar experience of going up
into a bright light."

"I was thinking of the same thing,"
Linda added.

Carson was silent. Linda saw
questions in his eyes. Then his eyes grew bold again.

"I think there is something causing
all of this. One theory is that the tunnel and the bright light is
really the mind remembering the birth experience of going through
the birth canal and into bright light," Carson explained looking at
Linda. She saw questions in his eyes again.

"Perhaps, but I really called you
here because I don't know if this will really help, but whatever is
happening is not just happening here," Pastor Millard said. "It's
happening all over the area. I've had calls from others - religious
leaders - a priest from St. Mary's, a minister from The Good
Shepherd and a rabbi from Temple Beth Torah. They're all having the
same problems."

"You're kidding! That means its
spreading! But why now after all these years!" Carson
said.

"Has this happened before?" the
pastor asked.

"Maybe, but I can't be sure. There
was a similar case about twenty years ago. I'm looking through
hospital records right now for the reports," he said.

"Really? Then you have to come to
this meeting next week. It’s an interdenominational meeting with
many of the religious leaders here. Some believe this is the work
of the devil," Pastor Millard said.

"You mean a meeting with the other
church leaders who are having the same problems?" Carson
questioned.

"Yes."

"I could ask about other cases and
their symptoms. When?"

"Tuesday at 7:30 at St. Mary's
Roman Catholic in Asbury Park. It's on Jerome Street," the pastor
said.

"Okay, I'll be there."

"What about your schedule? Will you
have to work?" Linda asked.

"If I do, I'll ask Stokes if he can
schedule someone to fill in for me. He may even want to come. Would
you mind if I brought Doctor Stokes?"

"Not at all. Bring him."

Linda saw the excitement in
Carson’s eyes turn into questions again.

"What do you believe,
pastor?"

"On or off the record?"

"Off the record."

"I believe it is the work of the
devil. Did you ever believe in something and know it's true, but
you couldn’t prove it - you just know it's true. That's how I feel
about this. It's a strong feeling. I believe these people had
near-death experiences and somehow the devil got to them for a
short time. There are good and evil forces in this world and this
has given the devil a good opportunity. It really scares me. I've
seen a lot on this earth in Vietnam and Bosnia and for this to send
a chill into my soul means it has to be something more than a
disease."

Carson looked hard at the
pastor.

"I know from that look you believe
it's a medical problem, but I don't because there is too much that
is unexplainable here," the pastor said. "You think the Catholic
Church is the only one that does exorcisms. We do them also, but we
call them deliverances, and they don't make the newspapers as often
as exorcisms."

"My point exactly. When all the
great diseases of the past like the Black Plague and others were
rampant, didn't the people believe it was the work of the devil
before science could provide otherwise?" Carson said. "Did you
think Ebola is the work of the devil, Pastor?"

"I just think both of you are
looking at this only from your own points of view," Linda
added.

"If you’re right why now?" Carson
asked.

"Because more and more people are
losing faith, losing faith in their churches, in the spiritual
realm of life. Many worship technology, and making money, and
material things, and what gives them instant gratification. No one
has time to stop and ponder the great wonders of this world to
think of God and all he has done. Everyone is into performance,
efficiency, and results. They have lost their hope, their spiritual
self in a world of facts and figures," the pastor
explained.

"I think you're wrong, pastor. I
think it was that way, but it's turning around again. More and more
people are interested in traditional values. More and more are
substituting success and material things for family, friends, and
community. Material things, success, and working twelve hours a day
and on weekends are no longer what they want out of life. I think
this is the best of times for getting people back into the
congregation, but you have to show them the teachings are
meaningful to their lives. If you go off and claim that the devil
is getting stronger because of lack of faith and because something
cannot be explained either medically or religiously, then you might
as well be telling them a bedtime story. They will regard this as
pure fantasy and label you as all the other religious leaders who
cannot convince their parishioners that religion is meaningful and
purposeful in their lives," Carson explained. "You must give them a
reason for believing, a purpose, and a benefit."

The pastor looked thoughtfully at
Carson, bowed his head and rubbed his eyes. Then he looked up with
a profound sadness in his eyes.