Acceptance, The (23 page)

“Sweetheart, what does it say?”

Courtney pulled the letter to her chest. “I think you need to go for now. I need some time alone.”

“Courtney, what does it say?”

She stood from her chair, her hands flat on the table. “I said I need some time.”

“And I want to know what’s going on,” he said as he rose.

Because he was fully aware that it was her house and she knew it like the back of her hand, there was no keeping up with her when she fled from him and ran up the stairs.

The door slammed and the lock clicked when he reached it.

“This is ridiculous. Why won’t you tell me what he said?”

“I-want-to-be-alone,” she screamed in almost a demonic voice.

Tyler stepped away from the door and went back to the kitchen where the other letter lay. He picked it up and finished from where he’d left off.

He began where the writer said;
The military was never his choosing.

If I could call him a daredevil in combat, I would. He didn’t show fear when standing down insurgents. But he did show great remorse if he took a life.

I highly believe that that and the lack of military desire, led to the following events.

We had promised to take turns sleeping. We were aware that we had been away from our squad for nearly going on two days. There was some chance we’d not be found. Though Fitz was sure they were near and would still come for us. During one of my sleeps I was awaken by gunfire. When I rose I found our Afghan friend standing over Fitz’s body holding a gun. He was shaken badly and was bleeding. I pulled my gun and began to interrogate him.

He said Fitz attacked him. But not in anger. He wanted the man to kill him. Fitz told him he wanted to die. When the man refused Fitz reached for the gun and that was when it went off into his chest.

Tyler dropped the letter and sat down at the table. He ran his hand over his face and tried to breathe. Nausea bubbled in his stomach and he had to will it down. Fitz Field had committed suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

It had been nearly two weeks since Courtney had locked Tyler out of her room, out of the house, and out of her life.

He’d spent the night after finding out what was in the letter. He slept on the couch to be there when she needed him. The truth had been, she didn’t need him.

Courtney had stood there the next morning and asked him to leave. No explanation. No apologies.

Tyler had done just that. Since then he’d called, texted, and stopped by. But for two weeks, he hadn’t seen her or heard from her.

Perhaps she was mad because he’d called her father the next day. But Michael Field already knew about the letter and his daughter’s reaction. He too was feeling the pain of his son’s final words. However, with Courtney’s wish in mind, he wouldn’t agree to help Tyler see her.

“In time and only when she’s ready,” he’d said on the front step of his home when Tyler had driven out.

“I understand. Please, sir, tell her I love her. I want to be there for her—for you all.”

Courtney heard her mother sigh as she stepped back from the window. “He’s gone,” she said and Courtney nodded. “Don’t you suppose you should talk to him? He seems to care a lot about you.”

“He does. That’s the problem.”

“And how could that be a problem?” Her mother sat down next to her on the bed. “Don’t you believe in the power of love?”

Courtney swallowed back the venomous anger she wanted to spew. Instead she took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it free.

“Mother, I can’t be someone’s burden ever again. I don’t plan to be yours and I certainly don’t plan on giving this horrible life to someone else.”

She heard the saddened
tsk
her mother made, but she didn’t scold her. “What about the gala tomorrow? You’ve worked so hard. You should be there.”

“No. I won’t go. He can fire me, because I’m never doing that again.”

Her mother patted her knee. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Your father and I don’t think you’re a burden. And I don’t think your brother thought you were either.”

She felt her mother rise from the bed and heard the door close when her mother had left.

Courtney fell back onto the bed and sobbed again. How could Fitz have said such things in his letter? He resented their father for putting him into situations which had landed him where he was. “Who forces their son to train to kill others?” Fitz had written.

It still hurt—the sting of his words. Though he’d never said she was a burden, he’d apologized for the life he’d ended up giving her—a life of darkness and missed opportunities.

Who was he, the boy who’d taken his own life from them, to say she’d missed any opportunity? If he could have seen the life she painted in her mind he’d never have done what he did. Fitz had been her life and now he was gone by his own hand. It hurt. It hurt worse than having learned about it the first time. Worse than the day they collected his casket off the plane and her mother sobbed over it.

But Tyler had mended her heart and let her mourn her brother and accept his fate. How could she possibly accept this?

If Tyler ran when a blessing such as a sister arrived in his life then he certainly would run from a woman who would always need and depend on him—or anyone for that matter.

It was better to let him grieve their brief affair and move on with his life. He’d be a foolish idiot if he didn’t realize that his family was perfect. All of them. Even his mother who gave away her baby when it seemed darkest.

It stung to know that Tyler’s family would accept her as she was forever. But then again, they wouldn’t be the ones daily having to make sure everything was just right. Even children. Those children would come and she’d learn to adapt, but even their slight messes around the house could be dangerous. It was just better to say goodbye to the man and not think another thought of him.

Courtney sobbed until she no longer could tell light and dark. The sun had gone now, she knew. She was in her childhood bedroom—alone.

And she missed Tyler.

~*~

Simone worked the room as she did so well. The event was bigger than Tyler could have ever imagined. There was a vendor that was supposed to be set up in the tents that was late. One of the sections of parking hadn’t yet been opened. And of all people, Simone’s father had shown up.

How come his arrival at the event hadn’t shaken her up? After all, she’d barely spoken to her father in twenty years. Why show up now? Why here? Why bother?

However, Simone graced her guests with a smile and pure calm. So why did Courtney’s absence make Tyler feel so off kilter?

“Honey, you did a wonderful job,” his mother said as she approached him. “This is the best gala I think
Diamond Gift
has ever had.”

“Thanks. I didn’t do it alone though.”

She smiled sweetly and reached out for his arm. “I know. Where is she?”

Tyler bit down hard so that he didn’t snap at his own mother when nothing was her fault. “I haven’t seen her in two weeks. I’ve had to bury myself into final details here and—well, she hasn’t been around.”

Regan Benson wasn’t just any fool, and he knew that. And the way she scanned her eyes over him he knew she was trying to pick up on what had happened. It was better to just tell her.

“She found out her brother wasn’t killed in action, but he committed suicide.”

His mother put her hand on her chest. “Oh, Tyler. That’s horrible. You should go to her.”

“I did, Mom. I’ve called, texted, emailed, faxed even—no response. I go to her house, she won’t answer. I go to her parents’ house and she won’t see me. I’m lost.”

The pain on his mother’s face softened. “You love her.”

He pulled out the ring he’d been carrying in his pocket for the past two weeks, showed it to her, and saw the first tear glisten in her eye.

“Before we got the letter from a man who knew what had happened, I’d asked her father for his blessing.”

“And?” she asked with her eyes wide.

“He gave it to me.” He looked down at the ring. “Avery helped me pick the ring.”

“When are you going to give it to her?”

Tyler dropped his shoulders and shoved the ring back into his pocket. “I was going to do it tonight. This was our project. It seemed fitting.”

“You should give it to her tonight.”

Was his mother not listening to him? She wasn’t there. He hadn’t spoken to her in weeks.

She stepped closer and rested her hands on his arms. “I love you. It hurt when you went away. It hurt more because I felt as though I pushed you away.”

He took a breath to speak, but she shook her head.

“I’ve seen the two of you together. You’re in love and that should get you through anything. She’s hurting, Tyler. She’s hurting in a way I hope you never know. Don’t give up on her. Look,” she said as she pointed toward Simone and her father dancing. “The strangest things can happen.”

He nodded. “When this is over I’ll head to her house again.”

His mother kissed him on the cheek, caught sight of her granddaughter, and let out a little squeal. “I could use a house full of those,” she said with a grin and hurried toward Darcy.

When Tyler moved toward the door to go check on events outside, he noticed Mr. and Mrs. Field walk in arm in arm.

His breath hitched. Was she with them? He didn’t see her, but they’d seen him.

As they walked toward him he felt the box in his pocket dig into his thigh. He swallowed hard and walked toward them trying hard to smile.

“Mr. Field.” He held out his hand to shake the man’s.

“Tyler.” Michael Field looked around. “Quite impressive. You did a fine job here.”

“Thank you, sir.” He turned toward Mary Field and held out his hand. “Mrs. Field, it’s nice to see you.”

“Thank you for the invitation. We just had to see what our Courtney had been working on. I read the program, very impressive.”

“The organization is very impressive. So is your daughter’s writing. She did all the work on that herself.”

He saw the flash of pride in her eyes.

Tyler steadied his breath. “How is Courtney?”

“Fine. Miserable. Lonely,” her father said and didn’t seem to have a bit of remorse when his wife elbowed him. “Mary, she’s miserable. Why tell him a lie? She misses you like crazy and she’s sucked up in a pity party.”

“She loved Fitz very much,” he offered.

“Yes she did. And he loved her too. But unfortunately the demons in his head got to him. And I regret the demons of war as well.” He looked down at his wife’s hand over his arm and gave it a pat.

Tyler knew the face of a man who carried regret. He’d looked at that face in the mirror for years.

“I’m honored that you came tonight. It means a lot.”

Michael Field pushed his shoulders back and looked down at Tyler. “I might have told my wife about a little something you were planning. She wanted to see the ring.”

Mary Field’s eyes lit up. “That seems petty doesn’t it?”

“No,” he said pulling the ring from his pocket again.

“Oh, Tyler that is stunning,” she cried when she saw it. “She’s going to love it.”

“I’m not sure she will,” Tyler said closing the box and sliding it back in his pocket. “I can’t get her to talk to me.”

“She’s at her house,” her father said. “I think that if you were to go to her, she might let you in.”

“Really?” Tyler’s voice rose in anticipation. “I love her,” he said looking at both of them. “I want her to be my wife. I don’t care that she’s blind. I don’t care that there will be many things that will have to be dealt with in our lives. I just want to be with her.”

Michael Field nearly smiled. “I think she might be ready to hear that now.” He looked at his wife. “Feel like dancing?”

She smiled. “I would love to.”

The Fields walked away and spun into each other’s arms with the music.
I think she might be ready to hear that now
—the words resonated in his ears.

“Who is that?” Darcy asked as she and Spencer walked toward him.

“Courtney’s parents.”

“I didn’t see her here.”

Tyler shook his head. “I haven’t talked to her in weeks. She’s not accepting the truth of her brother’s death, now that she knows it. But,” he looked toward her father, “he thinks maybe she’ll let me in now.”

Spencer placed his hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “Go to her. We got this covered. Besides, if you don’t give her that ring it’s going to wear a funny hole in your pocket.” He smiled at him.

“How do you know about the ring? I really haven’t told anyone.”

“Avery picked it out,” Darcy said on a laugh. “We all know.”

What had he thought?

“I don’t know what to do.”

Darcy placed her hand on his cheek. “Together you will figure it out. Now go.”

He hesitated for a moment then kissed his sister on the cheek and turned toward his brother.

“Dude, just get out of here,” Spencer said taking a step back.

Tyler laughed with a nod. “I think I will.”

Chapter Thirty

For a moment, Tyler just sat in his car looking at Courtney’s house. What if her parents were wrong? What if she didn’t want to hear what he had to say now?

There was only one way to find out and sitting in his car wasn’t going to get him to where he wanted to be.

Tyler stepped out, shut the door, and walked up the steps to the house. If this didn’t go well, could he live only a few blocks away from her and never think about her? Could he go on with his life in Nashville or would he need to relocate . . . again?

He knocked on the door and waited.

“Who is it?” Her voice was soft and sad on the other side of the door.

“Courtney, it’s Tyler. Please let me in to talk to you.”

It was quiet again. He waited for a moment, but it seemed like a lifetime, before he raised his hand to knock again. The door opened.