Accepted Fate (29 page)

This is it, this is the end of something beautiful. He expects me to come pick him up and drive him to the airport in the morning but I can't do it. Call me a coward, but I can't tell him goodbye. I know I will break down and give him my number, but I can't. We don't live in the same place; making anything more virtually impossible. I'll have to write it in a letter and send it with Presley. I will remember this blonde haired blue eyed boy for the rest of my days on this earth.

His breathing begins to calm and he looks down at me. We just stare at each other for I don't know how long. He has a look on his face that I imagine mirrors mine. It's one of those bittersweet things. One where it's been more of a dream, but all good things must come to an end. I could never tell him how I feel, but I can show him. Pulling him in, I kiss him with everything in me. For the first time in my entire life and the last, I put myself out there. I put everything into that last kiss and from the response he knew it was goodbye.

CHAPTER 13

Breyson

I can't get last night out of my head and I'm afraid getting it out is going to be harder than I imagine. What I wouldn't give to be right back with her in my arms or buried inside her. She was supposed to be taking me to the airport, but I knew from the look when we said goodbye, that was it. She's not coming, but why? I wish I knew. I'm standing in the driveway of Ryland's house with all my bags, ready to head to the airport. I have already said my goodbyes to my aunt and uncle. Ryland is on standby to give me a ride, but I told him to give me a few minutes to see if Kinzleigh shows up.

After a night like last night, I know my head is going to be forever fucked up. My mind continuously replays the entire scene, in great detail, in my head as if it's stuck on repeat. It makes me want to pull out a bottle of Jack and manually override the thoughts running around up there and I may do just that when my brothers pick me up at the airport.       

How do I go back to sleeping with easy girls after a taste of perfection? The thought alone disgusts me. I knew better than to let myself have her. One taste and I'm hooked. Something about her has me on edge constantly. I didn't sleep at all last night. I kept staring at my phone like it would make her text me. Before I left her house, I gave her my number. She insisted she didn't want it, but I left it in her hand. The ball is in her court, since she refuses to give me hers.

I'm about to go inside after Ryland when Presley's white Mercedes pulls in the driveway. She isn't who I expected to see, but I find myself searching the passenger seat in hopes to see one beautiful blonde. "She's not here," she sighs as she steps from the vehicle. "I know that's who you're looking for."

"Where is she?" It's the first time I've noticed Presley looking bummed since I met her a week ago today. She bends over into her car, reaching in the center console. When she stands to face me, she has a folded piece of paper in her hand. She begins walking towards me not giving anything away.

"She's not coming. Kinzleigh is not one to get emotionally involved with anyone. I don't know what you've done to her, but I got a call this morning from her in a panic that she needed a favor. I haven't seen her this strung out since her grandmother died. I was afraid this was going to happen..." She trails off and I wonder what it was she was going to say. She stops before me and grabs my suitcase by the handle. Handing me the piece of paper, she begins rolling my bag towards her car. "Come on. Let's go."

"I don't need a girl to get my bag and Ryland can drive me." I'm kind of aggravated because I'm not a damn charity case. If Kinzleigh wants to coward away instead of telling me she doesn't want to drive me, fine, but I don't need any favors. After all, she is the one that told me this was nothing but a fling so why can't she just drive me to the airport and say goodbye.

"I know you don't but from the looks of her this morning, I have a feeling when you read that letter, you may have some questions. I'll be the one that knows the answers if anyone does, so let's go." One thing I've learned from my mom is to never argue with a woman. You're a bloody fool if you do and you'll surrender in the end so you may as well save the energy. She places my bag in the back seat and shuts the door.

Once inside her car, she pulls out of the driveway. "She slept with you didn't she?" That's a way to rip off the band aid.

"It's really none of your business. I don't kiss and tell. I have more respect for women than that." I look over at her and she raises a brow at me. I should have known that wouldn't work with her. I just nod silently and turn to look out the windshield as the images of touching her and filling her replay through my mind. I've got to get a freakin' grip. What is wrong with me? She's just a girl; one that I'll never see again. I need to release all this pent up frustration when I get home.

"I thought so," she voices in a low tone. She says nothing more; just watches the road in front of her. I'm not sure what is going on in that head of hers. Women are the most complicated creatures on the planet. They say they want one thing and mean another. I guess now is as good a time as any to read this letter. I unfold it carefully as if it's a rare item; afraid it will disappear.

Breyson,

I know you probably hate me by sending Presley in my place and for that I'm sorry. I really did want to drive you to the airport. I tried to talk myself into it so many different times, which is why I didn't just tell you I couldn't, but the truth is I can't do it. I can't look you in the eyes and tell you goodbye. Please don't misunderstand, it's not because of last night and yet it is. I really don't know how to explain so I'll give it my best shot. I knew you would be leaving today, which is one reason I let last night happen. What I didn't realize was the way I have come to feel about you, until last night made it clear. I can't explain these emotions and I don't want them in my life. I cannot let them interfere with all my plans. I've worked too hard to block out any emotional contact to change now. I know seeing you will just make it harder on me and I will cave and give you my number, only making things worse. I will not be that girl, Breyson; that follows a guy around like a little lost puppy. You don't have to worry; I have shred yours so I won't be contacting you. You are a weakness to me I can't explain. A lethal dose of poison injected straight into my heart. I will not allow myself to be vulnerable to that kind of death. I am terrified of what might happen if I allowed myself more of you; like an addiction you can't fight or a drug you can't live without. I am writing this to you so you will know you are the closest I've come to feeling anything for someone and will be the last. Last night I freed my heart just for a while to show you what you do to me, before locking it back up forever. This week has been beautiful and I will forever cherish every memory and moment. I will always remember your touch to my body and your lips on mine. You have forever marked me and ruined me for anyone else's touch. You will make one lucky girl happy someday. I wish you the best.

            
With love,

            
Kinzleigh

Without thought, I punch the dash. This is the last thing I freakin' need. Not because of what she said, because for the first time I actually feel the same way. Dropping the letter to the floor, I place the heel of my hand against my eyes. I'm so angry my eyes begin to moisten, burning my eyes for release. What the hell did I get myself into? The one time I have feelings for a girl other than sex, she has to be just as stubborn as me or worse.

"Are you done trying to break my car," she asks sarcastically. I had forgotten for a second Presley was in here.

"Sorry. I wasn't prepared for that and it pisses me off." I have to find a way to forget her. I have no idea how, but she has left me no choice. "Why is she so damn hardheaded?"

She takes a deep breath as if the answer to that question will take a while to explain. "How to explain Kinzleigh Baker is like trying to explain advanced algebra to a toddler. It's impossible. I've been trying to get her to take a chance on someone since we started high school. She somewhere down the line got this warped view of love or hell, even just dating. I've even talked to Konnor about it and we can't figure it out. She has parents that have been hopelessly in love since college and her grandparents since high school on both sides. She has it set in her head that if she allows herself to like a guy, she won't get to fulfill her dreams as if it is a hindrance to be close to someone. I'd have to say though that you are the closest I've seen her come to giving someone a shot. I've told her she doesn't have to love someone to have fun but she refuses to give anyone a chance. Whatever you're doing, you're doing right. I just wish you both weren't so far apart."

I can tell from the look on her face it's genuine. "Did she tell you where she is moving? I have asked her over and over but she refuses to tell me."

She shakes her head. "Well she told me the state but not exactly what city it will be. She's been so upset, I'm not even sure she knows. My mom told me. Come to think of it, I haven't even asked where you're from. That's kind of rude of me." She smiles shyly. I can see why Ryland likes this girl. She doesn't take crap off anyone but she is still cool to hang out with and she has a sweet side I don't think she shows much.

We pull in the airport and it's getting closer to time to go. This week has flown by. She parks the car and stares at me. "Where are you from Breyson?"

I reach for the door handle about to get out. "Mississippi." Her eyes widen slightly, but she clearly doesn't want to give anything away. I have a weird feeling I know why.

"Where is she moving Presley?" She looks out the window and I'm getting aggravated. She knows something she isn't telling me. I don't know why girls have this code amongst themselves. "Presley. Is she moving to Mississippi?" Looking at my cell phone, I'm getting impatient because I don't have much time before takeoff and I still have to go through security.

"Look, I can't say without her consent. If she wouldn't tell you herself, then I can't tell you; no matter how much I want to." She starts to smile and then stops. I narrow my eyes at her. "I'll tell you what; give me your number and I'll feel her out after I talk to her. She was almost in a panic attack this morning when I rode by and she shoved the letter in my hand. I think she even has to take her medicine for it again after this all coming at her at once, so I don't want to make it worse. If I can I'll text the information to you. If you don't hear from me, you know how to find me."

As much as I want the information, the thought of Kinzleigh having anxiety issues stops me from saying anything further. Once I'm out of the car, I pick up the letter and fold it into a neat square and place it in my wallet. "Give me your hand." I pull a pen from my pocket. It's habit to keep one from school. I write down my number on her hand and I remove my luggage from the back seat. This is probably the one and only time in my life I'm waiting and hoping I get a text or call from a girl.

As I walk through the tunnel of the New Orleans airport, I look around for my brothers. They are supposed to be picking me up. I texted them all the flight details so they better be here. I am one of a set of triplets. Me and Braxton are identical twins and then there is Briar, which looks and acts completely different than me and Braxton. If we weren't all three males, my parents probably wouldn't have had Brylee but mom had to have a girl.

As I come into the baggage area, I see Braxton but not Briar. He spots me and smiles. As I get closer he slaps me on the back. "How was your trip little bro? Score any hot California girls?" 

"Why do you call me that? Being one minute younger than you does not make me your little brother. Besides, I am physically bigger than you and better looking. You look like you've been slacking in the weight room. I'm surprised dad let you leave the house." I tease, punching him in the arm. We are really about the same size but it drives him crazy to be called small. He is quite the egotistical one of the three of us. I guess being a prized player does that to you. He is the starting quarterback and I am the star running-back so we usually dominate the games at our school. Briar plays baseball exclusively. He's not into the hitting and violence that comes with the territory of football. Braxton and I thrive on it. If we weren't born at the same time you would never believe Briar was our triplet. "Where is Briar?"

He looks at me with an ugly scoff on his face. "Dude, you are not bigger than me and we are physically identical so shut the hell up. Briar is tailing around after Londyn. It makes me sick. She finally gave him the time of day and he goes and gives the Abercrombie boys a bad rep with the way he acts love-struck around her. You need to help me knock some sense into him. Her girl parts can't be any better than the other hot girls at school. He must be spellbound by her exotic features." Braxton and I are pretty much identical in everything down to personality; it's why we're so much closer to each other than to Briar.

"Londyn? When did Londyn show an interest in Briar? Wasn't she just trying to hook up with you like the week before I left?"

"Yeah and I shut her down because Briar is so damn obvious about his lusting over her or I would've took some for myself. The girl is hot. I'd love to see some of those dance moves off the field but it's bro's over ho's. Last week at the creek she went for Briar. You know no girl turns down an Abercrombie boy." He laughs and grabs my neck in the crook of his arm. "Let's go. I want some details about your trip. Don't hold out on me either." Grabbing my bag from baggage claim, we begin walking in the direction of the parking lot.

New Orleans is about an hour and a half or two hours from our house so I'm sure I will be grilled by Braxton the entire way. Who knows by now that me and Natalie broke up. There is probably some ridiculous story floating around. That's the bad thing about living in small towns. Everyone knows your business and generally it's a twisted version of the truth.