Accidental Family (15 page)

He scowled. “Hell, no. I just hate his guts.”

She smiled as she snuggled closer to him. “If you were a true fan of the show, you’d know my heart really belongs to Derrick.”

“Not anymore,” he said huskily, tightening his arms around her.

“No,” she breathed, “not anymore.” It was time she finally faced the truth. She loved Alan Rand. Loved him more than she ever thought it was possible to love a man. Now she knew why she’d waited thirty-six years to let someone into her life. She’d been waiting for this. Waiting for him.

“Now answer me another question,” he said, his hand trailing over her hip.

“Anything,” she said, her body softening under his tender touch.

He reached up to cradle her cheek, turning her face to him. “Will you marry me, Rowena?”

Thunder rumbled in her soul as she looked into his warm brown eyes. “I...don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes,” he entreated, a smile tipping up one corner of his mouth. “It’s the perfect solution to our problem. The perfect gift for our baby.”

The perfect solution.
Despite the heat from the fire, a chill swept through her. Was she a problem he’d been unable to solve until now? Did love for her even enter into his equation? But that wasn’t fair. She’d considered him a problem, too. One that seemed to get bigger with each passing day. One that now seemed gargantuan after what had just taken place between them.

“You’re making me nervous,” he said, tilting her chin with his finger. “Just for your information, I’ve never proposed to a woman before. But I don’t think it’s supposed to take this long for her to answer.”

She licked her dry lips. “This is so...sudden. We’ve only known each other a few weeks.”

He brushed his thumb over her lower lip, sending a tingle straight down to her toes. “I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with the two of you.”

The two of you.
Despite what he’d said about fate earlier this evening, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was only with her because of the baby. How could she possibly accept his marriage proposal without knowing for sure? But she couldn’t reject it, either. Not when her heart yearned for a future she’d only dared dream about. A future with the man she loved.

“May I have some time to think about it?” She hedged, hating herself for wimping out. But she couldn’t bring herself to destroy this sweet intimacy between them.

He leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose. “Of course you can have some time. I’m not going anywhere.” Then a crease furrowed his brow as he studied her expression. “Is something wrong, Rowena?”

She nestled closer to him so he couldn’t see her face. “So much has happened lately. I just don’t want to rush into anything.”

His body relaxed against her. “You’re right. The last thing I want to do is add more stress to your life.”

Too late.

Rowena closed her eyes, wishing she knew the right thing to do. There were no soap opera writers around to pen a happy ending to this story.

She had to figure it out by herself.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

R
OWENA
FOUND
HERSELF
alone in the house the next afternoon. She and Alan had made love again in the early morning hours. The passion between them had been so intense, she’d almost flung her concerns aside and said yes.
Almost.
What had held her back? Fear? Common sense? Lingering doubts about the man she loved?

That man had been hit with a sudden inspiration to make a cradle today. He’d taken off a couple of hours ago for the hardware store in New Ashford. Since he’d just been complaining about all the work piling up in his briefcase, she thought it sounded more like procrastination than inspiration. Especially since Alan had sheepishly admitted to her that he didn’t have any carpentry experience.

But it touched her all the same. She might question his feelings for her, but his love for the baby was obvious. He’d make a wonderful father. She just wished that was a good enough reason to marry him. After watching her parents’ marriage fall apart, Rowena knew that nothing but the strongest love could lead her to that kind of commitment. The risk was too great.

Rowena walked into the kitchen and filled the teapot with water before setting it on the stove. The granite counters and stainless steel appliances gleamed. She was amazed at how immaculate and organized Alan had kept her home while she was confined to her bed. Even more amazing was that he seemed to enjoy it.

As she leaned against the counter, waiting for the water to boil, her thoughts drifted to last night. No man had ever touched her that way before. Just remembering the things his hands did to her sent a delicious shiver through her body.

But were they moving too fast? He’d only arrived in Cooper’s Corner a few weeks ago. She’d waited thirty-six years to find Mr. Right. How could she be certain Alan was that man, just because he was kind and handsome and caring and sexy? An aspiring cook and housekeeper who not only picked up after himself, but her, too. A fantastic lover. Rowena smiled as the teapot began to whistle. Most women would kill for a man like that. So what exactly was she waiting for?

Love.

One simple word. When Alan proposed to her last night, he hadn’t mentioned one word about love. Worse, he’d told her that marriage was the best solution to their problem.

She’d given him her heart as well as her body last night. Even told him she loved him. But he’d never said a word about her declaration. At the time, she’d been too caught up in the moment to notice. But now his silence on the subject seemed deafening.

The telephone rang, breaking her reverie. She reached across the counter for the receiver. “Hello?”

“Is this Rowena Dahl?” asked a cheery masculine voice on the other end of the line.

“Yes.” She retrieved a tin of hot chocolate from the cupboard.

“Hello, there! This is Daryl Tubb.”

It took her a moment to place him. Daryl Tubb. Burt and Lori’s son. A real estate agent from Williamstown who always came on a little too strong—especially to young, single women. She’d only spoken to him once or twice in her life. So why was he calling? “Hello, Daryl.”

“How is everything in Cooper’s Corner?”

“Same as always.” She poured hot water from the teapot into her favorite ceramic mug. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“As a matter of fact,” he replied, “I’ve got a couple of prospective buyers who might be interested in your shop. They’re looking for a good property to open an antique store. So if you can tell me what you’re asking—”

“Wait a minute,” Rowena interjected. “What makes you think my shop is for sale?”

“My dad mentioned something about it when I called home last weekend. Said he heard it from the guy you’re living with—that you’re planning to move to Canada.”

Her hand tightened around the receiver. “Alan told your father my barbershop is for sale?”

“Why else would I be calling?” Daryl asked. “Now, look, I’m sure we can negotiate a selling price that will make everybody happy. I can bring my clients down for a walk-through at your convenience. They’re eager to get their business started, Rowena. This could be a great opportunity for you.”

“Hold it, Daryl,” she said, still trying to comprehend what was happening. “I’m not interested in selling.”

“I can get you top price,” he persisted.

“Cooper’s Corner is my home,” she replied, frustrated with Alan for putting her in this position. And with interfering in her life. “I’m not planning to go anywhere.”

Had Alan told the whole town he was moving her to Toronto? Without bothering to mention it to her? Maybe that’s why so few of her customers had called to make appointments now that she was back on her feet. Were they already looking for another barber?

Daryl sighed. “Well, if you change your mind, you know who to call.”

“Thank you,” she said blankly, then hung up the telephone. Perhaps she was overreacting. No matter how it sounded, she shouldn’t automatically assume the worst. She knew how easily rumors grew in Cooper’s Corner. There was no proof that Alan had tried to sell her barbershop. No proof that he was trying to control her life.

But her fingers still shook as she pried the lid off the tin of hot chocolate. She turned and pulled open the silverware drawer to retrieve a spoon.

That’s when she saw it.

A small wedge of powder blue paper sticking out from underneath the molded silverware tray. She lifted it and pulled out an envelope addressed to Savannah Corrington. Something cold and heavy settled in Rowena’s stomach as she looked at it. The seal was unbroken, but it was postmarked over a week ago. She slit open the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. It was written in the same creepy style as before.

Dear Savannah,

You know how much I adore you, yet you continue to ignore me. I won’t stand for it. You belong to me. We are meant to be together. What must I do to convince you we are soul mates? How much more must I suffer?

Do you ever think of me? Ever mourn our love? I count the days and the hours until we can be together again. Don’t make me wait too long, my darling. Don’t make me sorry I gave you my heart.

All my love, Sloane

She dropped the letter on the counter, feeling sick inside. After all these years, why had Max Heller suddenly come back into her life? Rowena stuffed the letter into the envelope, knowing she didn’t have any choice. She’d have to go to the police.

The front door opened, and Alan called, “Wait until you see the great pattern I found for the cradle. It looks a little complicated, but I’ve got almost five months to figure it out.”

She walked into the living room and saw him stomping snow off his boots, his arms full of lumber.

“I’m freezing,” he said, smiling at her. “Are you interested in warming me up?” Then he saw the expression on her face, and his smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

“I found the letter.”

His brow furrowed. “What letter?” The confusion in his eyes cleared when he realized what she meant. “Oh, right. The one from your old boyfriend.”

She didn’t know which surprised her more. The fact that he so openly admitted to hiding the letter. Or that he knew Max had sent it. But how? “The letter wasn’t opened. How do you know it’s from Max?”

“Because it was addressed to Savannah Corrington on a powder blue envelope.” He set the lumber on the rug, then brushed off his hands “I know about the letter he sent you before, Rowena. I overheard Maureen talking about it on the phone.”

Rowena couldn’t believe her friend would break a confidence. Then she remembered Maureen admitting she’d contacted a cop she knew in New York to look into the matter. But that was almost three weeks ago. Alan hadn’t said a word about it. “When exactly did you overhear that conversation?”

He shrugged out of his coat. “The night you came over to Twin Oaks and proposed a truce between us.”

Her stomach tensed. “I don’t believe this.”

He moved to her side, his face etched with concern. “I think you’d better sit down. You look pale.”

She didn’t move. She was through with men telling her what to do. “You’ve known about that letter from Max all this time?”

“Yes,” Alan admitted. “Frankly, I’ve been pretty concerned. It sounds like the guy is unstable.”

“So why didn’t you say anything about it that night?”

He folded his arms across his broad chest. “If you remember, we hadn’t been on the best of terms. So I thought it would be better to just agree to your truce so I could keep an eye on you.”

“Keep an eye on me?” she echoed.

“In case Heller tried anything. I heard Maureen say you didn’t want to contact the police. Someone had to look out for you and the baby.”

She gave a slow nod. “So that’s why you so readily accepted my dinner invitation.”

“Don’t make it sound so calculating.” He took a step toward her. “Sure, I wanted to protect you from Heller, but it was more than that.”

She met his gaze, trying to stay calm. Did he have other secrets he was keeping from her? Other plans for the future that he hadn’t deigned to tell her? “What else?”

He turned toward the fire. “I don’t know. A chance to get to know you better, I guess. Hell, you’re the mother of my baby. Don’t you think that’s a good enough reason?”

It should be. But for some reason it didn’t satisfy her. She’d proposed a truce between them to see if Alan was really serious about taking on the responsibilities of becoming a father. But she hadn’t planned to fall in love with him along the way. Everything was more complicated than ever.

He turned to face her. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this. So I hid the stupid letter. I still think I did the right thing.”

Her jaw tightened. “That’s the problem.”

He blinked. “What do you mean? I was trying to protect you.”

“I’m thirty-six years old, Alan. I don’t need anyone to protect me.”

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “You’ve had enough stress in your life lately. I wasn’t about to let this Max Heller cause even more.”

“But who gave you the right to start making unilateral decisions about
my
life?”

His eyes narrowed. “You don’t trust me?”

“That’s not the point.” She shook her head, sadness tightening her throat. He didn’t even begin to understand. “I left Max because he thought he always knew what was best for me. It started with little things. Like screening my telephone calls and picking out clothes for me to wear. Then it got progressively worse, until he wanted to imprison me in a cocoon and never let me go.”

“I’m glad you got away from him,” Alan replied. “He sounds like a complete jerk.”

She swallowed hard. “But you’re doing the same thing.”

He recoiled as if she’d struck him. “You’re comparing me to Heller?”

“You hid the letter,” she said by way of an example. “And you’re telling people that my barbershop is for sale. I just got a call from a real estate agent!”

“Wait a minute,” Alan replied, his voice rising. “All I did was stop in at Tubb’s Café for coffee one morning and got into a discussion about land prices around here. I simply asked about the current market for a place as nice as your shop. Is that so terrible?”

She glared at him, completely exasperated. “When did I
ever
tell you I was selling it?”

“We talked about your moving to Toronto.” He began pacing back and forth across the same rug they’d made love on the night before. “I guess I just assumed the rest. I wanted you to get a good price. I
thought
I was doing you a favor.”

“Max always thought the same way.”

He whirled on her, furious sparks in his eyes. “Stop comparing me to him! I’m not out to hurt you.”

“I know,” she admitted, then squared her shoulders. “But you want to control me. In the end, it’s the same thing.”

“Control you?” He stared at her in stunned disbelief. “I asked you to marry me. I want you to be my wife.”

“Why?” she asked, though she wasn’t certain she wanted to hear the answer.

“Why do you think?” he replied, his voice laced with anger and confusion. “So we can be a family.”

She closed her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

He moved toward her. “Look, Rowena, I’m sorry if you’re upset about the letter. Maybe I should have showed it to you right away. But you’d just come home from the hospital, and I wasn’t about to take any chances with the baby.”

She nodded, sympathizing with his fear for the baby. Too bad he was totally clueless about her fears. Alan simply didn’t understand that she couldn’t give up her independence. Not after her experience with Max.

As much as she loved Alan, she wasn’t a bonus prize he could claim along with the baby. She wanted to be loved for herself. To be trusted to make her own decisions.

And she needed to accept the fact that he might never understand.

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I think you should go back to Toronto.”

His jaw sagged. “What are you talking about? I want to marry you!”

“You want the baby.”

He backed away from her. “You really believe that’s the only reason I proposed to you?”

She stared at her clenched fingers. “I’m not sure what to believe anymore. That’s the problem. I can’t take the chance of making a mistake! Not when the baby would be the one to suffer the most.”

“What do you want from me?” he cried.

“I don’t know,” she replied, feeling sick inside. “If you had just once told me you loved me—that would have been enough.”

“Damn it, Rowena! I do love you.” His nostrils flared. “There. I said it.”

Tears stung her eyes. “Alan, don’t do this.”

“Why are you doing this to us? I do love you, Rowena. Whether you want to believe it now or not. And yes, I love our baby. I want to be a father. Is that so damn much to ask?”

She placed her hand on her stomach as if to protect the baby from the harsh words ricocheting between them. “No. You’ll be a good father. I want you to be part of the baby’s life. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning and—”

“Don’t bother.” He bit the words out, turning his back on her and heading down the hallway. “Since I’m such a controlling monster, I’ll just handle everything myself.”