Accidental Slave (12 page)

She blew out a breath and turned resolutely toward him. She wanted him to explain to her what it was she was feeling. Yet she lacked the words or the courage to ask. “I don’t know what you mean. About—about this being a taste of…of what we could share. The passion…” She trailed off.

“Don’t you?” His voice was soft, coaxing. “I may be wrong, but I have a strong feeling about you, Elizabeth. About us. My instincts are rarely wrong. Yes, I realize I was mistaken last night. I brought you home under false pretenses, through no fault of my own, but nevertheless, I spent the night fantasizing about when you woke up. I believed, as you know, that I’d purchased the charms of a willing submissive for a night’s, or in this case, a morning’s casual BDSM play.

“Yet, as you know, that’s not what I found. I found you—not only the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but a captivating, intelligent, strong woman who, I sense, has a great untapped well of passion lurking inside her.

“What I want with you is most definitely
not
an evening of casual BDSM play. And, just so you know, when I bring a woman home from an auction or that sort of casual thing, the play doesn’t go beyond the scene. That is, I don’t make love to those women. It’s just an outlet—a release, I suppose you’d say.”

“What do you do?” Elizabeth couldn’t resist asking. “This causal BDSM play you keep referring to. What does it involve?”

Cole raised his eyebrows, an amused expression on his face. “Since you ask so directly, I’ll answer directly as well. I have a playroom. I converted the attic into a BDSM playroom. All the usual accoutrements—a restraint cross, a spanking horse, suspension equipment and a nice assortment of floggers, whips, paddles, cuffs, chains, gags and blindfolds, among other things.”

“My God.” Elizabeth was thoroughly shocked.

“Don’t worry. I have no intention of introducing you to any of that unless or until you expressly ask for it.”

“Unless I ask…” Elizabeth shook her head, stunned to think he actually thought she would
ask
to be tied to a cross and flogged. The very idea was beyond her comprehension. And yet…

and yet despite her shock, the image of herself, naked and bound, Cole standing behind her, a whip in his hand, flashed into her mind with such vivid clarity she blushed, as if he too were privy to her thoughts.

“Listen to me, Elizabeth. I want you. I think you know that. But I have no intention of dragging you into something you’re not ready for, or not interested in. As I told you last night, I don’t regard the pleasure I take in using a woman, a woman who wishes to be used in that fashion, as a perversion. But by the same token, I would never thrust my feelings or desires on someone else. On someone who didn’t ask for it willingly and with complete understanding of what it entailed.”

He moved closer, his hand sliding along her thigh, sending shivers through her she couldn’t hide. Her breath caught in her throat as he moved closer still. His wonderful woodsy scent was intoxicating, blending now as it did with something else, the musky rise of his lust, and her own answering pheromones.

“When I take you, it will be because you offer yourself to me—completely and without reservation. I know you’re not ready—yet. Still, you can’t deny something happened between us just now. Something beyond the simple thrill of being with someone new. I know what you were experiencing,” he asserted. “I know it in my bones. I was born knowing it, as you were, though until this moment you may not have realized it. I felt what you felt when your wrists were pulled taut over your head, your body stretched and exposed for my touch, my caress, for whatever I chose to do to you.

“I could sense your feelings of helplessness, the loss of control, coupled with the fierce, almost overpowering heat of your own lust. You wanted it, Elizabeth. You may deny it, but I’ll know you’re lying.”

She had in fact been about to do just that, but he stopped her by pressing two fingers against her lips. “I saw the spark in your eyes, Elizabeth. I felt the pounding of your heart, the heat between your legs.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks burned. She crossed her legs and turned her body away from his. In a soft, gentle voice, he continued. “Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t say this to embarrass you, or to accuse you of something you aren’t comfortable with. I only want you to understand I know what you’re feeling. I know it because I know you. On a basic, primal level, you and I are already lovers. I am the other half of what you don’t yet realize you can become. I can sense the submissive potential in you, Elizabeth. I would love to explore it with you.”

Elizabeth sat up straighter, wrapping her arms protectively around her torso. She felt hot and wondered suddenly if she were going to faint again. She waited for the unwelcome rise of nausea and the ringing in her ears, but it didn’t come. His words were burning her as if they’d been branded into her psyche. Unable to cope with the full import of what he was saying, she grabbed onto his last words, ready to combat them.

“Submissive? Me?” She gave a laugh, aware it sounded forced. “I’m an executive vice president at a prominent Manhattan ad agency, one of the youngest in the business. You really think I got there by being submissive? I’m not one of those women who need a man to complete her or define her. I sure didn’t get where I am by submitting to a
man.
”

She knew she sounded defensive. She knew she was talking around what he really meant, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She was running scared, not of him, but of her own feelings.

“No, of course you didn’t.” Cole smiled. “Though I think semantics are getting in the way of what I’m trying to say. You’re telling me you’re not
passive
. That you’ve achieved what you have in your profession because you’re strong, intelligent, forthright and confident.” Elizabeth nodded, somewhat mollified.

“I would suggest being sexually submissive is not at odds with strength, confidence and intelligence. In fact, it takes a good deal of courage to submit with grace. To relinquish control to another, with the understanding he would never take you further than you need to go.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A small voice whispered deep inside her—
yes,
you do
.

He moved back and shifted on the couch so he was facing her. She looked down at her lap, trying to avoid those dark, captivating eyes. With thumb and forefinger, he lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

He moved his finger, tracing the line of her lips. Slowly, carefully, he pressed it between them until they parted. He pressed harder, forcing her mouth open, pushing his finger down on her tongue. Elizabeth caught her breath. The gesture was somehow both a violation and a supremely erotic act.

He withdrew his finger, tracing a wet line down her throat. Elizabeth was aware of her ragged breathing. She had never been so excited, so scared and so thrilled all at once. Things were moving too fast, but she didn’t want them to stop. She didn’t know what she wanted.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Elizabeth.” He smiled, shaking his head. “But now that I’ve found you, I don’t want to let you go. Not without at least introducing you to the potential of romantic submission.”

He stood, which surprised her, as she had expected him to take her again into his arms. That was precisely what she wanted him to do, she now realized. Instead, he walked back a few paces and turned toward her.

“I want you.” His voice was calm but she could sense the urgency beneath it. “But only on your terms. I’ll wait as long as you need. We’ll go at your pace. I ask only that you don’t shut me out. Let your mind open. Let your heart open. Trust me. Trust yourself with these new feelings.”

Elizabeth nodded, unsure what was expected. She too stood, moving uncertainly toward him. He opened his arms and she moved into them, again hiding her face against his strongly-muscled chest, wishing it were bare so she could feel his skin with her cheek.

He lifted her head with a finger beneath her chin, but instead of kissing her lips, he planted a chaste kiss on her forehead and dropped his arms, stepping back. “You must be exhausted after your ordeal. I’m taking complete advantage of you and I apologize. Take some time. Think over what I’ve said.”

She stared at him, not sure she was hearing him correctly. He continued. “I can come down with you to get a cab, want me to? Or would you rather have Harry drive you home? I can have him downstairs within fifteen minutes.”

“What?” She couldn’t have heard him right. He was dismissing her? Sending her away like some kid after the lecture was over? What the hell? She started to say something, to protest, but the words died on her lips. What, after all, would she say?
Don’t send me away, let’s go into
your bedroom and explore this submissive thing right now.
Or,
How dare you get me so hot and
bothered, and then turn around and say see ya’ later?

In fact she
was
exhausted, bone-weary and worn out. Then there was the whole creepy, bizarre mess with Gary to straighten out. The irony was, since he was now sending her away, she wanted to stay. She was even willing, she realized with some astonishment, to go to bed with him then and there. More than willing.

Maybe he was just using reverse psychology on her—telling her to go so she’d want to stay.

Well, it wouldn’t work. Nobody manipulated Elizabeth Martin. She forced a bright smile to her lips. “A cab is fine. I can see myself down—”

He caught her in his arms, pulling her close as his lips crushed hers. She was falling, falling into the kiss, falling into his strong arms, falling beneath his spell the instant his lips touched hers. When he finally let her go, she stumbled and he caught her, drawing her into his warm, safe embrace.

“I’m not sending you away. Please don’t think that. Or if I am, it’s because I want you so much. I don’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability right now. When you come to me, I want it to be from a position of strength. I know what I’m thrusting on you is new. I think your body understands, and your heart, but your mind needs time to catch up.”

He clutched her shoulders, his expression at once commanding and pleading. “After you’ve had a good night’s rest, and a chance to think over what we’ve talked about, come back to me.

You don’t even have to call first. I’ll put the doorman on notice to expect you. I’ll be here—

waiting.”

“And if I don’t come back?” Elizabeth couldn’t resist asking.

“You will. Now that you’ve had a peek into the Pandora’s box of D/s, you won’t be able to resist.”

“Yeah, right.” Elizabeth tossed her head with a defiant laugh. But she knew he was right—

she would definitely be back.

“Pearson, you’re an idiot.”

It was nearly dawn. Cole had given up lying in his bed, tossing in the twisted sheets, his eyelids flipping open like broken shades on a window. Instead he sat in his study, staring out at the slowly lightening sky.

Why had he sent her away? Everything in her demeanor said she wanted to stay. He’d seen the startled, hurt look when he’d said she was tired and needed time to herself. Had he miscalculated? Should he have kept her there until he’d broken down all her defenses?

Naked beneath his robe, his hand fell to his cock, which was rising at the memory of Elizabeth, stretched so beautifully and vulnerably on the sofa, her eyes closed, her lips parted, her breath ragged with a mixture of fear and desire that had very nearly cost him the tight control he maintained on his lust.

He stroked himself absently, wishing she was there with him now, naked and sleeping in his bed, already his lover, his possession.

Yet, despite his physical longing, he knew he’d done the right thing in sending her away.

D/s was powerful, and it had the power not only to draw one in, but to frighten one away, if offered too quickly. His own natural impulse was to claim her at once. He knew if he hadn't sent her packing, he would have pushed her too far, too fast.

Was she the one?

He shook away the thought, but it slipped persistently back into his brain. In the three years since Joanie’s death, he had been exploring D/s, slowly evolving his own take on the whole thing.

At first he’d just played around, checking out the scene online, engaging in erotic chats with so-called slave girls on BDSM sites, getting comfortable with the lingo, the mindset, the players.

He’d moved on to the clubs, even briefly joining a group that met once a month to discuss various esoteric aspects of BDSM, hold demonstrations on whipping techniques and the latest toys, and generally pat each other on the back for being such serious, high-minded players in the scene. He’d quickly tired of the group, which was comprised mostly of insecure, needy men posturing as Doms, and insecure, needy women posturing as subs.

He’d made his own share of mistakes, he couldn’t deny it. At first, heady with the newfound freedom of being single and, for the first time, honest about his dominant orientation, he’d been indiscriminate. He’d been too quick to connect with any reasonably attractive woman who showed the promise of submissive desire. Most of them were not, in fact, submissive, but just horny, lonely women eager for something different. Sure, they got off on an ass-reddening spanking and some aggressive lovemaking, but ultimately failed to appreciate the nuance of a D/s relationship.

He knew he was too romantic—too poetic. Joanie used to tell him he was born in the wrong century—too gallant and old-world for his own good. He understood what she was saying, but disagreed. Since when was seeking true love an old-fashioned idea? He refused to believe it, but that refusal had left him very lonely.

In the first year or so of his explorations, he brought a number of potential sub girls home, only to be disenchanted in fairly short order. Though the sex and D/s play were fun, the underlying spark of passion was never there. Sadly, all too often it turned out what they were really seeking was someone to take care of them—someone to support them financially and emotionally. While he wasn’t averse to taking care of someone, he contrived to hold onto his romantic dream of finding his soul mate.