Accidental Slave (23 page)

As exciting as it was to contemplate the two-week experiment she was committing herself to, she recognized this wasn’t just about exploring the intensity of experience he promised, or the thrill of something new.

It was also a new chance. A chance to redefine herself and the way she looked at men and relationships in general. She didn’t have to keep a mental tally and pull the man down, even if only metaphorically, with the weights of her unspoken demands. She wanted to still herself, to let their love flow over her without grabbing it and twisting it into a death grip until she choked the life out of it.

Maybe
, she thought to herself with a wry grin,
I’m growing up
.

In his absence, she hadn't been able to resist putting in a ridiculous number of extra hours in anticipation of her vacation, making sure everything was ready for her two-week hiatus from the job. Jane and Hank had finally barred her from their offices with a laugh. “Come on, Elizabeth.

Give us a chance to do it on our own. We promise we won’t destroy the place while you’re gone.

Have fun, relax, forget all about us.”

She had told them she was going on a two-week cruise. Cole had suggested this, reminding her he wanted no interruptions from her office during their exploration, as he called it.

In the past week she’d begun to post comments on Slave Anna’s blog, which had led to an email connection with the young woman. The more she got to know Anna personally, the more impressed she was with Anna’s utter serenity. Hers seemed to be the mirror opposite of Elizabeth’s frenetic, hectic-paced approach to life. Beyond that, she’d never seen anyone more in love. Elizabeth had no idea if Cole and she could achieve the sort of intense, deeply connected relationship Anna seemed to share with her Master, but she found herself willing, even eager, to try.

Now the time had come. She’d left away messages on her phone and email, closed up her apartment, packed only the clothing and sundries she’d need, and presented herself at Cole’s door bright and early that Saturday morning, a suitcase in her hand and butterflies in her stomach.

They hadn't seen each other for five days. Elizabeth drank in the sight of him, tall and dark, red lips breaking into that lopsided smile over white teeth, his eyes like liquid onyx, raking over her with raw desire.

“Elizabeth.” She could hear the longing contained in that one word, a longing that mirrored her own. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, a long, lingering kiss that left her hungry for more. When he pulled away, she moved forward, her lips still parted, aching for the press of his.

“Greedy girl. There’s time.” He held her by the shoulders and again swept her body with his eyes. She was wearing a long, flowing black skirt with large white flowers painted in broad brushstrokes over the silky fabric. Her sheer white blouse was hidden beneath a lightweight black jacket.

He dropped her shoulders and stepped back. “Take off the jacket.” She obeyed, the butterflies now doing loop-de-loops in her belly. The blouse was sheer and, per his instructions, she wore no bra beneath it. She was aware of the press of her nipples against the fabric, which stiffened further beneath his intense gaze.

“Are you wearing panties?”

She shook her head. He’d told her what to pack, and panties were not to be among the items, nor was she to wear any that morning. “Show me.”

Heat rising in her cheeks, Elizabeth obeyed, feeling more like twelve than thirty at that moment. She lifted the hem of the long skirt, bunching it at her waist. Again per his instruction, she’d shaved her pubic area early that morning until she was smooth as a baby. She could feel the cool air stir against her naked sex, which served to emphasize her nudity.

He’d explained that, as his submissive-in-training for the coming two weeks, he would require complete access to every part of her body. While an aesthetic choice he found pleasing, shaving her pubic hair was also a symbolic gesture of her willingness to bare herself more completely for him.

She found herself so aroused during the grooming process in the shower, she’d had to masturbate immediately after, lying down on her bath rug, her body still damp, her mind filled with images from Slave Anna’s photo gallery, and Cole’s handsome face.

“Good. I’ll inspect you later. For now, come over to the sofa.” She let her skirt drop, his words reverberating in her head…
I’ll inspect you later.
He led her by the hand and they sat together, side by side.

He turned to her. “I know we’ve talked about it a lot, but I want to ask you one more time if you’re sure. Are you ready to submit to me? To agree to obey my rules for the next two weeks, to allow yourself to be led and used, trained and, if necessary, punished when you fail in your duties as a sub? Are you sure you’re ready to explore a 24/7 D/s lifestyle? Because I want to reiterate, I’m happy with you now, just as things are. Yes, I’d like to go further, but only if you’re one hundred percent sure it’s what
you
want. I absolutely do not want you doing this for me. In fact, I wouldn’t permit that. It’s a sure recipe for failure.”

Elizabeth didn’t need to think it over. She’d made her decision. She wanted this, she realized, more than anything she’d ever wanted in her life. She knew it might not work. She knew she might be too willful and headstrong to make a good sub. Anna had advised her how difficult submission could sometimes be.

It’s not just about the sex, Elizabeth
, Anna had written to her in an email she’d read many times over.
Make sure you’re clear on that. If he’s a real Dom, and from what you’ve told me, I
think he is, he’s going to test you in ways that are going to push not only your sensual envelope,
but all aspects of who you think you are and what you want and what you’re willing to do to
prove it. To submit is to give of yourself, one hundred percent. It’s to bare not only your body,
but your soul.

But I can tell you this. If you can find the courage to do it, to really give of yourself on every
level to the man you love, you will find such peace, such a heightened sense of self and self-worth, that you’ll never want to go back to vanilla. You won’t be able to. You will become
something other than you are now. Or rather, something more. Your submission will become a
part of you, and you will become a part of your Master.

I know that sounds very metaphysical and poetic, but, if this is right for you, you’ll
understand what I mean. You’ll have to find out for yourself. Just remember, be honest with him.

And with yourself. This lifestyle is definitely not for everyone. You’ll know if it’s for you.

Good luck on your journey! Love, Anna

Now Elizabeth turned to Cole and smiled. “Yes. I want it. I want to try—for me.”

Cole reached for her, gathering her into his arms. “I love you,” he whispered.

~*~

He let her go, ignoring for the moment his insistent erection. She hadn't answered in kind, at least not with words, but he was okay with that. She was here. That was enough.

He could hardly believe this was actually happening. He reminded himself not to project or hang on to unrealistic expectations. This whole thing might end up being a big mistake. Instead of taking her deeper into a true D/s relationship, he might alienate her to the point he’d lose her altogether.

It was a risk he had to take. Not only for her, but for himself. He’d tried twice before to train a woman as a submissive, and each time had ended, if not precisely in failure, in falling far short of the mark. He knew it was because he’d wanted the connection more than he’d wanted the woman he’d chosen.

In that regard he’d been unfair, though at the time he’d thought he could make it work. His desire had overrun his better judgment. He understood now love was an essential ingredient, at least for him, in any meaningful D/s connection. He hadn’t loved either of those other women, though he’d tried to and nearly convinced himself of it each time.

He hadn't planned to say those words to her.

I love you.

He understood the love was new, tentative, not yet cemented by time and experience.

Nonetheless, like a sapling that would one day be a huge oak, he felt the sturdy roots of that love burrowing into his heart.

He recognized these two weeks she’d given him were a gift—a gift of time he planned to exploit to the fullest. By the end of it she would either belong to him completely, or they would go their separate ways. He already knew there was no going back. He wondered if she knew and for a moment he was frightened. The thought of losing her was intolerable.

He pulled himself together, reminding himself of the code he lived by in all other areas of his life. A code that had stood him well—
failure is not an option
. Thus fortified, he turned to Elizabeth, aware after this moment, nothing between them would ever be the same.

“Stand up.”

Elizabeth obeyed without hesitation, which pleased him. He was aware of her correspondence with the submissive online and approved of it. The more Elizabeth understood about the lifestyle, the better their chances of success.

He leaned back against the sofa, admiring the shadow of her nipples jutting against silk, and the rounded curve of her cheeks, flushed a faint pink. She was twisting her hands agitatedly in front of her body. He could feel her tension and nervous anticipation.

“Hands at your sides. For now I just want you to listen.” He waited while she obeyed.

“Close your eyes and take several deep, slow breaths. I want you to calm yourself. It’s a skill you’re going to need as we move forward. An ability to calm down when you’re over-excited or frightened. I’ll be here every step of the way, but I want you to empower yourself as well.

Okay?”

She nodded and closed her eyes. He waited several seconds while she breathed slowly and deeply. When she opened her eyes, he continued. “There are certain basic ground rules I expect you to follow during this training period. You need to let go of the idea of us as lovers and accept your place as my submissive-in-training. What that means if you’re voluntarily giving up control over just about every aspect of your life. A voluntary exchange of power.

“At first we’ll just work on the basics, things like positions, commands, expected behavior when you’re with me and when you’re alone. I’m sure this is familiar to you, given your research and interaction online.”

Elizabeth nodded. Cole continued. “The most important part of being a submissive is adopting a submissive mindset. It’s a breaking down of ego—a giving up of self. There are certain rules and rituals that will not only enhance our experience, but will help you get there.

“First of all is trust. You need to trust both me and yourself. You need to be aware of your reactions and your feelings, and you need to be willing to share them with me. This is a process and nothing’s written in stone. We’ll be exploring together. I don’t want a mindless robotic fuck slut. Ultimately I want a lover, a submissive lover who helps me create the perfect circle of our love—the yin and yang as I once mentioned to you.”

He gave a small laugh. “I’m lecturing. Forgive me. You ready to get started?”

“Yes.” She caught her lip nervously in her lower teeth.

“Excellent. First off, take of your clothes. You’ll be naked for most of the next two weeks.

Then kneel, ass resting on your heels, thighs spread apart, hands palms up on your thighs. When I tell you to kneel and present, I expect you to assume this position immediately.”

He waited while she slipped out of her clothing, his mouth watering and cock straining as her lovely body was bared to him. Her face, pink before, was now red with embarrassment. She parted her legs, but barely, and her back was hunched.

She was still modest, excessively so. He would need to desensitize her. “Straighten your back, chin up, eyes on the floor. A sub is proud and your bearing should reflect that at all times.”

She made an effort to comply.

“Spread your legs wide. As wide as you can. Arch your back and thrust out your pelvis. I want to see that cunt.”

She looked up sharply. “Hey,” she blurted. “I don’t like that.”

“You don’t like what?”

“That word. It’s demeaning.”

“No. It’s not. It’s been demeaned by its use and the connotations associated with it, but cunt in and of itself is nothing more than a word. A good, earthy word for the most beautiful, sensual part of your body. There’s power in the word. Sometimes you will be reduced to nothing more than a cunt. That is, you’ll become sheer lust—controlled and defined by your sex and your appetites. You’ll be my sub, my cunt, my perfect whore, my possession, the object of my adoration.”

He waited, wondering if she understood what he was saying, if she could someday believe it too. She said nothing. Adding steel to his voice, though he didn’t raise it, Cole ordered,

“Elizabeth, show me your cunt. Now.” She stared at him, her eyes flashing. He stared back, willing her to bend. It was her first test, and had come sooner than he’d expected.

“Eyes on the floor,” he reminded her. “Spread your legs. Then use your hands. Arch your back and spread your cunt for me. It’s a gesture of submission. You say you want what I offer. If you can’t obey this simple dictate, it tells me you don’t really want this. In which case, we might as well forget this whole thing and go back to vanilla with the occasional spice.”

Could he do that? He was convinced—she was the one—the one he’d been looking for, dreaming of, longing for. Was he going to lose her before they even started? The thought was nearly unbearable. Silently he cursed himself. Yet there was no going back. If he relented now, she would never respect him as a Dom, nor should she.

She held his gaze for several heart-stopping moments, her cheeks flaming with color, her hands clenched into fists on her thighs. Then she obeyed, dropping her head, reaching with trembling fingers to spread herself for him.