Accidentally Compromising the Duke (26 page)

Then during the day, Edmond would spend hours buried into writing articles and motions for the following year’s debates in the House of Lords. He was dissatisfied with everything he had written and it had failed to distract his heart and mind from being totally obsessed with missing Adeline.

“She is with child. Four months along by my calculation.”

“Congratulations to you and your duchess.” Westfall rose and went to the sideboard pouring brandy into a glass. He raised it to Edmond. “Here is to hoping for an heir!”

Dread coiled through him.

“Good God, man, I wished you an heir, not to be roasted on a devil’s spit.”

“The last time everyone wished for an heir, Maryann died.”

“Hell,” Westfall said softly. “I wish you nothing but good fortune. All Saint’s Eve is next week. I daresay you should be at Rosette Park.”

Edmond frowned and rubbed a hand over his chest. “I confess this is the first time I have thought of Maryann and our son without the bitter taste of guilt on my tongue. Thoughts of Adeline simply bring peace, and I have been a bastard to her.”

“What have you done?”

With clipped words, and for the first time in years, he unburdened himself to Westfall.

Shadows shifted in his friend’s gaze. “I understand your fear, but it is better to hold onto her with everything you have, instead of wasting even a second of time spent with her and lose her forever.”

Edmond smiled to hear his friend echo such sentiments. Westfall was a hardened rake, and society gossip suggested he had not an ounce of feelings for anyone but himself. Despite his friend’s sometimes cruel, sarcastic tongue, Edmond knew otherwise.

He surged to his feet and strolled to the window facing the gardens. “I should not have left her. This is her first child…and I cannot imagine how uncertain she must feel. I shall go to her.”

“And will you tell her how you feel?”

Edmond despised emotions, especially those exercised to excess. Fear and grief were the ones he found hardest to deal with. Even now, the idea of being overly affectionate with his duchess made him feel distinctly uncomfortable. “My presence will be enough to show I care.”

Westfall grimaced. “I have never known you to show sentiment, but how you spoke just now…” He said nothing more, only taking several sips from his glass. “There is also a rumor Mr. James Atwood was seen traveling to Rosette Park.”

Edmond froze. “I beg your pardon?”

Westfall’s lips twisted. “It seemed the man was very happy to hear of your estrangement.”

“And how has he heard such rumors?”

“You and your duchess have become a reigning toast, everyone is interested in your lives.”

Edmond dismissed Westfall’s words. “It does not signify if Mr. Atwood visits Adeline. My duchess has honor.”

“A thing I have never witnessed in a woman. Either way, honor is a cold bedfellow. What she needs is passion and—”

“Hold your damned tongue,” Edmond snapped. He would not even think of his duchess in another man’s arms. “How is your daughter?” Edmond asked, needing to change the subject matter.

Westfall tensed. “She heals as we speak. I swear she will want for nothing, and if society thinks to cut her when she is older they will bleed, Edmond. She has suffered enough.” Rage and icy ruthlessness throbbed in his voice.

Edmond understood. Westfall’s daughter was a bastard, and he had discovered her existence just before it had almost been too late. His father, the Duke of Salop, had refused to speak with his own son, for doing the unimaginable—acknowledging his bastard so that all of society knew of her existence.

“And her mother?”

“That damnable bitch abandoned her to a baby farm in Willesden Green and pretended Emily did not exist. Do you think now that she is a countess, she would risk her reputation to visit my dwelling to see the child or even acknowledge her?”

No, Edmond supposed not.

“My duchess told me you had formed an attachment.”

A tic jerked in Westfall’s cheek, and his golden eyes went blank. “It is you we are talking about Edmond, not my affairs.”

Edmond grunted. “I saw the way you watched Lady Evelyn at the last soiree I attended with my duchess. If the
ton
had observed the hunger I saw, they would have called for a wedding, surely believing you had already debauched the girl. Yet the attachment you have formed is with Lady Honoria. Please explain yourself.”

The marquess downed his drink in one swallow. “Go grovel to your duchess and take your nose out of my business, Wolverton.” Westfall slammed the glass on the mantle and stalked from the room.

Edmond sighed. Westfall would speak when he was ready, but Edmond hoped he did nothing foolish when his heart, or his damn lust, was so clearly engaged with another. But the man was right, Edmond had to travel to Rosette Park and visit his duchess. But what would he say? He couldn’t bear to be from her? Her death, whether he was with her for several months or seventy years, would shatter him when it arrived, but he needed to spend every last moment with her.
Hell
. He had no notion where to start, but he had to see her.

Edmond launched from the chair and strode from the room, tersely ordering his valet to pack a saddlebag and his groom to ready a horse.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Almost twelve hours later, Edmond arrived at Rosette Park. He had no notion of what he would say to his duchess, only knew he could not stay away from her or his daughters any longer. He swept from his horse, and handed the reins to the footman. The quietness of the estate unsettled him. The last letter he had received from his girls the day before had indicated all was well. He strode up to the front door, and Mr. Jenkins held it open, his face a smooth mask, but Edmond swore he could see an accusation dwelling in his butler’s eyes.

Edmond strode through the entrance hall and grounded to a halt.

A maid bustled down the corridor. “Mr. Jenkins, the remainder of her ladyship’s and the girls’ trunks have been readied to send down…”

The maid’s words trailed off when she spotted him, and it was then Edmond realized that the two footmen had frozen with trunks in their hands, and the butler stood stiff, eyes staring straight ahead as he’d been trained to do. Edmond’s gaze remained on several trunks, which were already standing in the hall. Their import slammed into his gut like an iron fist. His duchess had left him.

Footsteps sounded behind him, then the housekeeper appeared with a letter.

“Her ladyship left this for you, Your Grace,” Mrs. Fields said.

“Thank you.” Edmond took it and with clipped strides walked away to his study. He entered and strolled over to the window, almost afraid to open the letter. He realized what an arrogant idiot he had been, thinking he would simply ride to Rosette Park and Adeline would be waiting for him. Unable to wait any longer, he unfolded the paper.

Dear Edmond,

I have retired to the Somerset Estates. It grows unbearable to live at Rosette Park with the memories of us, and I’ve finally conceded to the estrangement you desire. It has been weeks since we’ve last spoken, and I’ve come to realize you will not look beyond the past to the future with me. I cannot say I regret accidentally compromising you, for you have given me a great gift and I will treasure our child. The girls and Lady Harriet insisted on traveling with me, however I expect you will send word when you wish for their return. My father’s estate is only a few miles away, and I will find comfort there when I need. I only ask that you allow the girls to visit me as much as they desire, and when our child is born, you will meet him or her.

Adeline

Edmond hated the weak feeling that overcame him. She did not believe she could get comfort from him, and why should she, when he had been so foolish? She mentioned nothing of loving him, in fact her words seemed so final, his soul ached. He knew then that words would be inadequate. He loved her, and he needed to show her he was more than ready to be a family and do away with fear, that had held him for far too long. Dropping the letter on the desk, he stormed from his study calling for the housekeeper and his butler.

“Your Grace?” Mrs. Fields said, hurrying toward him, with Mr. Jenkins right on her heels.

“Send word to the village. I want carpenters, painters, and all the necessary workers here to build a nursery. Hire as many as possible, for I want it done in less than a week.”

Delight crossed Mrs. Fields face, and what appeared to be approval glowed in his butler’s eyes.

“And which room shall be converted?”

“The chambers beside the duchess’s chambers.”

With quick bows and curtsies, his servants departed. Edmond scrubbed a hand over his face. He would build their child a nursery, and then travel to Somerset and plead his case, and pray he had not completely killed her love for him.

…

A shout of laughter filtered from the entrance hall, and Adeline smiled. It had been a week since they departed Rosette Park, and the girls seemed to be enjoying Somerset, and she even felt a bit more at peace. In the two months Edmond had been absent from Rosette Park without even scrawling a note to her, something inside of her had withered. If he truly loved her, regardless of his fear, should he not fight to be with her? Adel had pushed past the pain, and resolved to find happiness with her children. There was a brief knock on the drawing room door, and then it was opened to admit Lady Harriet, and her husband’s man of affairs Mr. Dobson.

Adel stood frowning. “Mr. Dobson?”

He bowed slightly. “Your Grace. I’ve been sent down by the duke to make arrangements for a nursery to be constructed here.”

Pain almost made her knees buckle. He was truly relieved she was gone from Rosette Park and his life. “I see.”

“Tell her the rest, Mr. Dobson,” Lady Harriet said with a smile.

“The duke has given instructions that all his estates be equipped with nurseries, Your Ladyship.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Adel’s heart jolted. “Even at Rosette Park?”

“Yes, Your Grace, and also the estates in Scotland.”

Oh.
What did that mean?

“There will be some knocking and hammering for the next few days, Your Grace, we are begging your pardon for the noise.”

She nodded, and Mr. Dobson exited.

“Why is he doing this?” she asked, still in a daze. What did it mean?

“It seems my son is awakening,” Lady Harriet said.

“But he still has not written to me.”

The dowager duchess walked over to her, and clasped Adel’s hands. “I never thought you were the one to sit and wait. You, my dear, are very decisive and bold, traits my son admires. Go to him.”

Adeline smiled and rushed from the drawing room. Hope was stirring in her breast, and she did nothing to suppress it. Was this Edmond showing her he wanted her with him? She’d already realized she loved him, and now she had to know if he loved her and was willing to fight for their family, despite his fears. For if he didn’t, she would walk away forever.

…

A noise alerted Edmond, and he glanced up. Adeline stood at the entrance of the nursery, perfectly still, looking at him. She was dressed in a dark green gown that flowed gently over her rounded stomach. He swallowed. Her stomach was much higher, and more rounded than how Maryann had been when she was sixteen weeks pregnant. “Adeline, I…” His mouth was suddenly dry.

Hell, he had practiced his apology for days, and now that he was face to face with his duchess, words deserted him. He stared at her face which stared back coldly aloof. It was an expression he had never seen her display before and it chilled him. “You came back,” he said, at loss for any other words.

“Yes.”

His heart lurched. The distance in her tone was inescapable.

“I see.”

He placed the lion he had been carving on the carpet. What the hell was he to say? He had always been a man of few words, and frustratingly, now the few words he needed had deserted him. All he could think of was how radiant and beautiful she appeared. “I can’t work. I can’t think. I can’t sleep.” The words slipped from him, as if from their own volition.

“And what does that have to do with me?”

He distantly became aware of a few servants lingering in the hallway, including the housekeeper and the butler. Didn’t they have duties to attend? Though they did not look directly at him, he could feel their keen attention to his conversation with his duchess.

“I have been an unmitigated fool.”

She inclined her head with icy civility. “That you have been, Your Grace.” There was no give in her tone, she simply agreed with him, noticing his existence in passing, with what appeared to be mild curiosity, as she might give an unusual insect found in the gardens.

The woman standing before him was cloaked in icy sternness, which he doubted he would be able to ever pierce. Nothing glowed in her eyes, none of the warmth, the passion, the love he had seen before. Nothing remained of the kind, generous lady she had been, and he had been the one to reduce her to this…marble effigy of her former self. Sudden, fierce pride burned in his veins, and he smiled in amused self-mockery. He was so proud his duchess was not weeping and rushing into his arms. With an effort that was almost painful he prevented himself from going to her and drawing her into his arms.

He’d rehearsed dozens of speeches, explanations, yet none of it truly mattered now. He’d hurt this woman whom he had vowed to protect and cherish, and he truly had no notion how to atone. “Adeline, have you ever wanted something very badly, something that was within your grasp, and you only needed the courage to reach for it?” he asked, raking his fingers though his hair.

Her eyes widened, and he witnessed the hope that flared before she buried it once more. Her eyes darkened momentarily then cleared. “Yes,” she said.

“That is how I feel about you. You are everything I’d ever dreamed of and more, and I have been so afraid that I will lose you, but I have come to my senses.”