Accordance (41 page)

When she touched my hand before I could jerk it away, I saw it. Her little secret. Her dirty indiscretion that would have destroyed everything I knew up until that point and could also from now on. She really was a home wrecker.

In a vision, I saw her giggling. She was young and the man she was with was young too. At first I thought this was college or something but I noticed the house she was in, this house. They were in the kitchen and doing disgusting things on our kitchen counter together. She glanced at the clock and effectively ended his perusal of her.

“My husband will be home soon,” she said to him.

“Tomorrow, same time?” he asked, his back still to me.

“You know it.”

She kissed him long and hard and then the vision flew to another one.

She was crying in the bathroom, a slender white stick in her hand that held her fate. She apparently wasn’t happy with what it told her. A man knocked softly on the door, and she sniffed angrily and rolled her eyes but the voice she used was sweet and innocent and she wiped her face and put on a smile.

“Come in.”

Dad was so young and handsome back then, looking at her with a face full of concern.

“Are you ok? What did it say?”

“I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

Dad looked shocked but not in a bad way.

“But…we were careful…we used protection.”

“It’s not always one hundred percent, Jim.”

He smiled hugely and pulled her from the tub side laughing.

“We’re going to have a baby!” He laughed. “I know you said you wanted to wait a while but…wow. We’re going to have a baby.”

“Yes,” she said happily but her eyes were dead behind his back. “We are.”
Then the vision changed to my mother crumpling a piece of paper into the trash. It was a result, for some blood test I had as a kid when they thought I might have Meningitis. She tossed it in the trash as if not a care in the world. When I glanced closer I saw the one sentence that would ruin everything. The one sentence that would change my life even more than it had already.

Dad was not my biological father.

I gasped back to reality with a warm calming hand on the back of my neck and my face pressed into a neck that smelled like my whole world. I sobbed loudly and clung to him as he held me up, doing the only thing he could do.

How could she? How? Why?

How had she pretended to be happy and love us all those years when she didn’t want me at all? She didn’t want Dad, or our life, or our house. She hated it all, endured us. How could she do that to Dad? I had no idea what to say.

Gah, Maggie. I’m sorry.

He can’t find out
, I begged him and looked up to his face.
He can’t find out
.
This would kill him. He can’t…

Caleb nodded and then I heard an exasperated sigh from the devil herself.

“I think you’re being a little dramatic. It was just a graduation, I’m sure your father took lots of pictures and I’ll look at them.” The glass in the door next to her started to rattle but she didn’t even notice. “I’ll even get you a gift if you want one.” I looked over at her blankly, in awe of her utter gall. I saw a few blue ribbons behind her head and tried to breathe and accept Caleb’s calm as he discreetly kissed the back of my neck, desperately trying to keep me from showing my mother what I was. “That’s what this is show about isn’t it? You’re upset because I didn’t come for your graduation?”

I glanced at Dad to see what his face looked like because his mind was blank. He looked regretful and mad and sad all at once but he was just waiting for me to say or do something. He was at a loss for words.

Bish had been awfully quiet through this whole thing and she never said a word to him. I looked at him too and he was pretty much the same; just totally not understanding her at all.

I looked back at her and just stared in contest.

Her eyes shifted to Caleb and she smiled.

“I’m sorry, my daughter is being rude. I’m Sarah, Maggie’s mother.” She held her hand out to him. “And you are?”

“Caleb,” he answered but made no move to shake her hand, “Maggie’s fiancé.”

She scoffed.

“What?” she hissed and looked at me. “You’re marrying him?”

“Yes, ma’am, she is,” Caleb said stiffly.

“This,” she started again with the sweet voice to Caleb, “juvenile tiff between my daughter and me has nothing to do with you. You don’t have to hate me by association.”

“Leave,” I said, startling everyone.

“What did you say?” she whispered as if hurt but her face was murderous.

“I said leave,” I told her, my voice finally calm and I felt in control of myself. “We’ve been fine here without you.”

“This house is half mine, you know. I made this house a home. I took care of both of you and you never gave me anything in return.”

“Gave you anything like what? A new hair color, a new diet?”

“Maggie, I am your mother. Now I already talked to Jim and he-”

“I never said you could come back,” he said softly. “I said before anything else you needed to work out your problems with Maggie but I never said you could come back.”

“Well, I’m trying.”

“Little too late, I think.”

“Jim,” she squeaked as if hurt and made a step as if to touch him.

I put my hand out.

“Don’t touch him. Leave!”

“I am still your mother and you can’t talk to me that way.”

I moved forward, as close as I could stand it, to whisper to her where no one would hear. Her excessive high dollar perfume gagged me.

“I know what you did. I know about my father and the kitchen counter.”

“Your dad and I-”
“No, not him, my
father
,” I enunciated the word so she’d catch my meaning.

She did.

She paled and fidgeted with her earring.

Not possible.

“That’s why he’s so upset with me? You found out and told him?”

“No, he’s upset because you’re heartless.”

She opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it.

How can she know?

“I know lots of things,” I said and she went wide eyed. “Just go, we were fine before you came.”

Without another word she picked up her suitcase and started to turn away. Dad caved, looking at her dejected face.

“Why don’t you come in for just a minute, Sarah?”

She looked back and didn’t smile.

“It’s not worth it.”

Then she left and I closed the door softly. Too softly, so Dad wouldn’t see how incredibly angry I was. I let him think I was upset because Mom hadn’t come to my graduation, that was better than the truth, and once again I was stuck looking one way to people but the truth being different.

I leaned on the door and heard the buzz of chatter around me, but I was so caught up in my own mind that none of it got through. Then when I looked up I realized they were all talking to me. And when I let them into my mind to see what they were saying, I was bombarded with an overload of concern. Caleb was bent down looking into my face, holding my arms and Dad and Bish were right behind him.

I squeezed my eyes tight and heard a groan escape my throat. Caleb was telling them to stop thinking so loud, to turn it off for a second. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Dad’s concerns were exactly what I expected.

“Are you ok, baby?” Caleb asked me and framed my face. Dad looked at him sharply. He’d never heard Caleb call me that. Never heard anyone call me that but himself.

“Yeah,” I answered and looked at Bish. He was leaning on the wall beside us and staring at the floor.

She didn’t even look at me, didn’t say a word to me.

I nodded to Caleb and went to hug Bish. We were closer now than ever. Both of us were in love with a Dad who loved us back fiercely…but wasn’t our real father.

He accepted me easily but hugged me with gusto.

“I’m sorry, baby girl,” Dad said but looked at Caleb and frowned at calling me that now. “Maybe I should have let her come home when she asked me to before.”

“Nuhuh, that wouldn’t have helped.”

“But you’re so upset-”

“Because I could see right through her bull crap, Dad.”

Dad said a silent ’oh’, forgetting once again about my ability.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m so sorry, kids, that she couldn’t…that she wouldn’t…” He shook his head in frustration as how to make us understand and be ok.

“We still have you,
Dad
,” I said firmly, emphasizing the
dad
to affirm to myself more than anyone that he was my father, no matter what some piece of paper said. “It’s ok, we’ll be fine. It was just a shock to see her, that’s all.” I pulled from Bish’s grasp and asked Caleb the silent question. He nodded. “Dad, do you mind if Caleb and I stay here tonight?”

“Of course not,” he insisted and started towards the kitchen. “I’ll order a pizza.” Bish grunted in a funny pattern that indicated something was amiss. Dad smiled as he looked back. “I meant I’ll order four pizzas.”

We all laughed uneasily, trying to get our of our funk, and Bish nodded his head in agreement and approval. A little while later we all sat around the table and laughed eating our pizza, one with no olives, as Bish told us all about New York. He said he passed the Naked Cowboy everyday walking to work. He had to schedule his boss to get a pedicure and manicure and highlight’s done every two weeks.

He said he was the most girly yet manly man he’d ever seen. He would parade girls through the office daily for lunch dates and other events but he took more care to his looks and personal hygiene that any men who knew all combined.

Dad asked Caleb more about the house situation and the wedding. When Caleb explained the wedding, how it’s wasn’t done in the traditional human way and humans had never been to one before, Dad balked, but Caleb assured him he was sure his family wouldn’t mind them coming since they know everything anyway.

Then they started talking about Vols Football. Dad and I had always been UGA Bulldog fans, even though we’d never lived in Georgia, but Caleb and Bish were extreme UT fans.

It was very good to see my future husband, my dad and my brother all sitting and talking about mundane, totally human, things civilly and even with jokes and normal goading and prodding.

Mom wasn’t brought up once.

But we had to tell him what happened at Caleb’s house, though I didn’t want to. I did want Dad to be on alert. He stood and fumed as did Bish, who slammed his hands on the table. I told them what happened; that Caleb had saved me like always and Caleb insisted that I have saved him. When he described how the bullet came out of his stomach by just my touch alone, Bish and Dad’s eyes were as glued to him as ever.

Eventually they calmed down and we explained we were leaving in the morning anyway and it would be fine. When I told Dad they couldn’t come, they weren’t happy but they seemed to understand mostly. I think Dad just wasn’t thrilled to be in a room with three hundred Aces. I echoed his sentiment.

Then we told him the part I dreaded most, the part where Kyle imprinted. And the reason I dreaded it was all over Bish’s face. He was thinking the same thing that Jen had been thinking. He was happy for Kyle but knew it would never be him and never be Jen. Dad was just plain fascinated.

When I yawned, Caleb took over and told them we were going to head to bed. I stopped and looked at Dad. He had the sleep-on-the-couch rule but before I could say anything he answered my internal question.

“You two respected my wishes in California. I trust you to sleep in your room.” He got up and smiled at me, putting a hand on my cheek. “Plus, you’re gonna be married soon. You’re growing up way to fast, girl. I guess I can’t stop you anymore.”