According to Legend (23 page)

“Pam,” he said with a tentative tone in his voice. “I’m really trying to be a gentleman tonight, but the way you’re looking at me, well, you’re making it really difficult.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me, but I don’t want you to be a gentleman,” I whispered as I inched closer to him. He drew me into his arms, and held me close to him, pinning the catcher again between his heart and mine. Heat from the catcher flowed into me as it hummed over my heart, heat that matched the heat of his lips on mine and the passion burning behind them. I responded to his kiss and the flame rose within me. Moving deeper into his embrace, my breathing quickened and my heart raced. His kiss grew more passionate and our hearts beat in unison, the heat of him drawing me.

Breaking away from him, guilt rose in my throat, nearly choking me. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t stop myself. Half-Breed was snoring in front of the fire. In the far reaches of my mind, I briefly wondered why the wolf suddenly seemed to let his guard down. Why was he allowing physical contact with David? It was as if he were permitting me to proceed down a path, a forbidden path that he knew I was destined to travel.

David’s gaze met mine, and I felt as if I were drowning there in those deep pools of blue. I stood and taking David by the hand, silently led him upstairs to my bedroom and closed the door behind us.

He drew me into his arms and lowered his head to kiss me. The catcher continued to hum happily between our hearts. I felt like a magnet was drawing me to him and I wondered if he felt it, too. His kiss grew urgent. I saw Moheeladeck’s face in my mind and I put my hand up to stop him.

He took my hand into his. “You’re so beautiful.”

The heat of my blush rush up to my hairline. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror on my dresser, and watched as David kissed my neck.

“God, Pam, I want you,” he whispered as he kissed my jaw line.

“Oh, David, we shouldn’t.”

I leaned back away from him, and when I did the catcher moved away from his heart. With the catcher no longer pinned between us, it was as if the tide of passion receded.

“You’re right, Pam, we can’t do this,” he said.

I looked at him in astonishment.

He reached over and took the catcher in his hand. “I can’t believe it. I’m standing here holding everything I want in life in my hands, you and this stone”—he smiled with sort of a half laugh—“and I’m going to step back, let go, and walk away.”

“David, I-I’m sorry.” I was lost in desire and emotion swirling like a fog around me, but I grasped on to the image of Moheeladeck and held onto it like a drowning person holds onto a life preserver.

“I want you, that’s pretty obvious, but I want you to want this between us because it’s Pam in love with David. Not because of this,” he said as he lifted the catcher. “The magic of the stone is making you like this, Pam. This isn’t the way I want it to be. I’m so in love with you it’s crazy, but I want to make love with you. I can’t make love with you unless I’m sure it’s right and it’s really you who wants this, and not because of this enchanted piece of rock.”

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to feel. I felt numb. I was so confused. I was in love with Moheeladeck yet I couldn’t explain the overpowering desire I felt for David. I knew he was right. It was
all because of the stones.
I recalled Divakar’s words that were burned into my mind.
This amulet does hold magic. It brings you to him in your dreams, while you sleep, henceforth it will bring you to me when you are awake. I will now become the object of your desire.

A few minutes later, I stood at the door and watched David hop into his truck and drive away. I was saddened that I couldn’t be who and what he needed me to be. I locked the door and set the alarm.

Half-Breed was still dozing before the dying fire, “Come on, boy, it’s time for bed,” I said. I wondered again why the wolf didn’t stop me from taking David upstairs to my bedroom.

He followed me up the stairs. “You were very silent tonight, Half-Breed,” I said.

What can I tell you? He knows who you really are and you know who he truly is. You say you want to trust him, but clearly you can’t. Although he tells you of the life he is experiencing in his dreams, you cannot trust him or you would have told him of your life with Moheeladeck.

You’re right, as usual, Half-Breed.

I wanted this entire ordeal to be over. I was tired of people chasing after me, trying to kill me. David was gone, and that left me feeling like a cat in heat. I was restless with the burning desire he stirred in me. It scorched through my blood like lightening. “I think I’m going to take a shower, Half-Breed. Why don’t you just go to bed and I’ll be in after a little while.”

As you wish.

He climbed onto his side of the bed as I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I stood in the shower, the hot water washing over me. I remembered the last time I did this, but this time my thoughts were not of Moheeladeck. I couldn’t control what was happening to me. I ran the soapy washcloth over my breasts.
Mmm,
I thought,
that feels so nice
. Unconsciously, I ran my soap-covered hand down over my stomach. I felt as if someone else was in control of my body. I reached my fingers between my legs and started to stroke myself, all the while rubbing the slick, soapy washcloth over my hardened nipples. I had to find relief from this torment. I knew I couldn’t face Moheeladeck in my dreams unless I had. It didn’t take long for me to find my physical release though I still felt restless.

Finding my release in this way didn’t satisfy the need that had built up over the course of the evening and I wondered if I could ever face Moheeladeck at all. My desire for David grew even stronger. It was a fire, consuming me. I rinsed the soap off my body and stepped out of the shower. I wondered if it were possible to be in love with two men at the same time. I put my PJs on and climbed into bed.

“I wonder where my dreams will take me tonight, Half-Breed.”

He yawned.
I know Moheeladeck is waiting for you, Princess.

My side of the bed seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. “Half-Breed, you are a bed hog!” I said.

He chuckled stretching his huge body.
Yes, but it’s so much nicer than sleeping on the cold, hard ground.

I shook my head. “Well, it would be nice if you would at least try to stay on your own side of the bed.”

I got comfortable, then, placing my hand over the catcher and over my heart, I drifted off to sleep.

Half-Breed was right. Moheeladeck was waiting for me. The moment I entered that realm, he wrapped his arms around me.

“I have been concerned for you. You woke before I could get to you to be sure you were unharmed,” he whispered as he held me.

The worm of guilt curled in my stomach. I couldn’t even bring myself to look into his eyes. I tried to focus on the conversation. “I’m all right.”

“It’s over now. He will never again be a bother to you here.”

“It’s not here in this realm that worries me,” I said in total honesty.

“How was it you were taken? I thought I had sent Half-Breed with you to guard you.”

“Yes, well, Divakar’s scout came upon me.” I told him how I was abducted. He listened patiently to every word I said, although his eyes darkened with his rising anger.

“I will never let you go off by yourself again. Not only will I send Half-Breed to accompany you, but I will go too and if I cannot, one of my most trusted braves will. There will never be another chance of abduction,” he swore sternly, more to himself than to me. “I could not bear it if something were to happen to you, my love,” he whispered as he stroked my back. Then, taking my hand, he led me back toward the center of the village.

I was so overcome with guilt I could hardly breathe. I didn’t deserve this man.

“I’m fine, thanks to you,” I said as I edged closer to him.

“Come, let us go to the fire pit so that the People will see you are alive and well. I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I hope you were not too afraid and that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“When Divakar took the stones from around my neck, I feared all was lost. Then I heard the voice of my Spirit Guide telling me I had the wisdom and power to escape. I was no longer afraid, but merely waiting for an opportunity to present itself. When I heard you and our warriors coming through the tunnel behind me, I feared that if I escaped and you were unaware, you’d continue through the tunnel and would fall into Divakar’s trap. I feared that you would be injured or killed. I couldn’t live if you were killed. That was why I remained.”

“It’s over now. We will not speak of it again,” he said.

We spent the day together, wandering through the meadow and woods. Most of the colored leaves had fallen to the forest floor and the cool nip of winter was in the air. I knew that soon the meadow would be covered with snow. It was so peaceful here, and I felt safe and secure. I was overcome with a strong yearning to be here forever, in this time with this man. He seemed to sense my feelings and took hold of my hand.

“Moheeladeck, how much longer can this go on? I am growing weary of people always chasing after me trying to kill me,” I said as we paused to watch geese fly overhead.

“It will come to an end soon, my love, but I fear the attack will not be in this time, but in yours. Our enemies do not know you can summon me and believe that you are unprotected and vulnerable there, so it is there that they will enter your circle.”

“I agree.”

“Are you afraid?”

“A little, but I know you are only a thought away and you will protect me. I long for a time when we can be together and no longer have to look over our shoulder for attackers or worry about an ambush. Besides, I know in my heart that David would never hurt me.” My thoughts became wistful at the mention of his name.

Moheeladeck stiffened at the sound of David’s name coming from my lips. It was then that I remembered the gems. “Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you. Remember the gems we took from the cave?”

“Yes.”

“I had them appraised.”

“What is this . . . appraised?”

“That is where someone who is considered an expert looks at them and estimates their value. He tells you how much money they are worth. You will be happy to know that they have a value well beyond what is needed to pay all of my debt. I can eliminate the debt and hopefully sell my lodge quickly.”

“That is good news. If you could only remain here, I would be able to protect you,” he continued. “I worry for your safety when you are not with me. But I apparently need to take better care of you when you are here with me.”

We slowed as we approached our lodge. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was slipping behind the barren treetops. He led me inside, where a fire had been prepared and a stew pot was bubbling.

“I thought it would be nice for us to have some private time, away from our People tonight.”

I smiled. “It is as if you can read my thoughts.”

“Perhaps I can,” he said and leaned to kiss me.

Against my will, I stiffened in his embrace.

“What is it?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

“I-I—” Tears pooled in my eyes as guilt choked me.

“Something stands between your heart and mine. I feel it. Perhaps we should speak of it now,” he said.

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I can’t control what I’m saying or doing,” I sobbed.

“Have you made love with him?” Moheeladeck asked in a low whisper, his voice filled with pain.

“No,” I answered.

“But you want to,” he said. “I feel it.”

“Yes,” I answered in a raspy whisper. Shame filled me and I lowered my gaze to my lap. “Ever since Divakar took the catcher and put it over his heart I’ve been so confused. He was wearing the catcher when he drew me into his arms and kissed me that day in the woods.” I was crying now. “When he did that, the catcher was pinned between our hearts. It moved and hummed, and since then I feel somehow bound to him, well not him, but David. It’s not that I want to be. It’s-it’s—” I was sobbing, unable to continue.

He pulled me into his arms and held me. “Shhhh. It’s going to be all right. Shhhh.”

He was so perfect, always so understanding. I hated myself even more for what had almost happened between me and David. The sobbing grew worse.

“That day, when Divakar wore the stones and kissed me, he said he would now become the object of my desire. Moheeladeck, I think that he somehow commanded the stones, and the stones are making this happen. I’m not in love with David, but I can’t stop myself from wanting him.” I sobbed. I knew my words were hurtful to him, but I wanted, no, I needed, him to make this stop.

“Oh my love, I’m sorry that you are going through all this,” he whispered.

Where was the answer? Moheeladeck always had the answer. What was this drivel?

“Can you make it stop?” I asked through my tears.

“I hold no magic other than my love for you, but you already know this. You also already know that the answer is within you,” he said. “Come now, let us sleep.”

He led me to the furs spread before the fire. He held me and kissed me lightly and gently, and before long I had calmed down. His kisses grew more passionate then, as did my response to them. I was lost in desire, but for which man? I was consumed by the raging heat of the lust that burned within me. I had to find a release from it. He made love to me, gently at first and then more fiercely as he met my level of passion. I was a woman possessed by a savage need.