Across The Divide (18 page)

The last thing I saw was Garrett’s arm coming for me before he slammed the butt of the gun into my head.

The tops of my feet dragged across the floor, hitting the stone stairs as they hauled me to the basement. My head lolled and bobbed, not able to pick itself up yet. As the monster I didn’t feel pain, but now it was back with a vengeance.

Long ago, I’d almost burned to death. It took me months to come out of my coma, my fae powers keeping me asleep as I healed. I no longer had this luxury. I was still fae, so it eased the pain, but I was more human in healing. Every hit hurt worse than it ever had before. I was changing, my body slowing down. The fever sapped my energy, which pissed me off. I did not handle being fragile very well.

Several other men joined Cadoc in towing me back to the cell I’d been calling home. I recognized some of the men from my encounters with Garrett. One blue-haired guy ran ahead, pulling the extra chain off the floor until it hung from the ceiling at eyeline.

I’d been around too long not to know what was ahead of me. Torture had not advanced much with fae. They liked the old-school ways. I grunted and struggled. Cadoc and another fae grabbed my arms and wrapped the metal cuffs around my wrists, clicking them into place. The blue-haired fae yanked the pulley. My arms shot over my head. The bones and muscles along my shoulders and sides popped as my weight tugged back on them. The clanging chain echoed off the walls. My joints wrenched from their sockets. The tips of my bare toes skimmed the floor.

Shoes clicked across the stone floor.

“You’re still the same. Disobedient and impertinent,” Vadik hissed, I heard the whip snap as he opened it up.

My fingers rolled into fists, preparing for the pain. But no matter how much you do, you can never prepare for this kind of torture. The sound of the leather cracked in the room only an instant before the switch lashed across my back. My mouth slammed together, a groan caught in my chest.

The whip struck my back again.

Then again.

“Is a human really worth this?” Vadik growled.

I didn’t respond. She was worth more.

Agony sliced down my back as he snapped the whip. My skin split. The leather strap slashed across the open wounds. My knees dipped and dizziness overcame me, building and exploding with nausea.

“You are a fool. I hoped better from you.” Wrath coated every word he spoke. His resentment for me seemed deeper than what I’d expect from a bad business deal. But this was why people feared him—he was a demon who relished torture. You’d think he’d let others do this, not get his hands dirty. Not with me.

A bellow rushed out of him, his arm coming down, snapping the leather harshly.

My body jerked forward, curving with anguish. Against my will a moan escaped my throat. I slammed my jaw together, keeping Vadik from getting any more satisfaction from my pain. Sweat streamed down my face and blood flowed in trails along my back, dripping onto the floor.

“You need to learn I am in charge. You do not disrespect me,” Vadik yelled, the violence giving more fire to his rage. Each hit only gave him more fuel, more drive, causing him to strike harder.

Hurt so unreal choked the air in my throat. Screams could no longer reach the surface, barricaded beneath the agony. I huffed. Saliva oozed out the corners of my mouth. Snot bubbled out my nose.

Crack
.

Crack
.

Snaps of the whip echoed off the stone.

My vision blurred. Bile filled my mouth as the room spun. I drifted further from myself. My muscles let go, and I hung freely from the chains in the ceiling, ripping me a part.

“Vadik. That’s enough,” I heard a woman’s voice cry, then the sound of a hand hitting flesh. A form fell to the ground.

“Do not tell me when it’s enough,” Vadik growled. “You want to be next? You are already walking a thin line with me, Amara. You can easily be replaced. No one will miss you. 
No one
.”

Time and reality were getting hazier as I receded deeper into my mind.

“Now turn him around,” a voice ordered.

I felt hands on me, pairs of feet scuffling over the floor. The chain above my head creaked as they twisted me around.

“Wake him up.”

A sharp, foul smell spiked up my nose and caused my eyes and mouth to water violently. I lifted my head, blinking back sweat and blood.

Vadik watched me, his eyes completely black. Sweat and spots of my blood sprinkled his sullen white face. His cheek bones stuck out sharply, which only enhanced the terrifying monster he really was. A twisted smile grew on his lips when he saw I was awake. “That’s better. I want you looking at me when I talk to you.”

His words sparked something in my head, a deep instinctual fear buried far below. But my brain couldn’t latch onto any reason or understanding. He flicked the whip with his wrist.

I knew what was coming. My punishment was far from over.

“Once again I will ask. Is this human’s life worth this? The more you fight me, the more I will be sure Zoey gets
all
m
y
attention. You want to die, knowing you left that life for her? My concubine, my slave, my fighter?” Vadik said. “You can live or she can. But you will find her for me.”

It took everything I had to unclench my jaw. “Fuck. You.” Saliva and foam sprayed from my mouth.

“Bad decision.” He lifted his arm.

As the switch made contact with my stomach, my threshold for unbearable pain hit its max. A howl ripped out from the depths of my guts. He quickly responded with another one.

Darkness reached up, covering my eyes and mouth, and pulled me back into the depths of oblivion.

I went willingly.

My lids blinked open to a small comfortable room with its peeling paint and white billowing curtains. Instantly I felt the warmth of her body pressed against my leg. I rolled over, the old comfortable bed creaking. I propped my head on my hand and watched her sleep. Her brown tresses only held a dim violet color now as they tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. This was the first peace I felt in a long time. No pain. No torment. Only relief and contentment at seeing her.

She was beautiful, but it was more than that. The girl was a force. No one I ever met, fae or human, compared to her. Even with all the horrible things she had gone through, she still fought with hope, love, and violent determination.

I hadn’t let myself feel deeply for anyone in a long, long time. I hadn’t wanted to. Until now. But she barreled down my walls with ferocity.

My gaze rolled over her sleeping form, taking in every inch, especially the way the sheet curved over her body. She wore one of my thin white T-shirts and a slip of fabric for underwear. The top was hitched up, displaying a strip of her bare back. I reached out my hand for her, catching the edge of the shirt, and dragged the fabric to the top of her shoulder blades. My fingers trailed over her spine, curving over her ass. She stirred under my touch. Her head turned over on the pillow till she faced me.

“Thought that might wake you up.” I smiled.

“Ryker,” she whispered.

“Miss me?”

“Yes.”

The bluntness and honesty of her declaration stunned me.

“Wow. You said that without the least bit of sarcasm.”

Liquid glistened in her eyes. A deep sadness and desperation echoed in them I had never seen before.

“Hey.” My hand went to her face, cupping her cheek. “Are you all right?”

She leaned into my hand and bit down on her lower lip. She looked lost. Unsure. Seeing her like this caused panic to prickle in every pore.

“Zoey, you’re freakin’ me out.”

She licked her lips, closing her lids briefly. “I know you’re not real, but I need you…to get me through this.”

The need to protect her, to shield her from pain, fear, or harm drove me to her. I pulled her to me, my lips brushing softly over her forehead. “You are strong; you can get through this. You don’t need me, but I’ll be here whenever you want.”

“I wish you could tell me you were all right. That you got away from Vadik.”

I could have told her, but the despondency in her demeanor made me lock the truth away.

“If I were free or capable, I would have already found you.”

She watched me. A fire flickered in her eyes, her gaze dropping to my mouth. It was like the fire in her eyes jumped to me, igniting a combustion through me. I grabbed her hips and pulled her onto my lap. She inhaled sharply, enhancing my need for her. To be inside her.

I knew this was a dream, and she wasn’t real. But she felt hot, wet and her legs clenched my hips with desire. A moan emerged from my throat. I knew one thing. Even If I had never made an oath to her, nothing in this world would stop me from getting to her.

“Even without the oath, I would find you.”

“I wish the vow worked both ways. I want to be able to feel you and know you are still alive,” she whispered, grinding into my lap.

Fuck.

“You want to feel me, huh?” I grabbed her waist, flipping her back onto the bed. I nudged her legs apart and crawled between them. My gaze never left hers. I lifted her shirt up, my lips sweeping over her stomach, my mouth moving down.

“Feel this?”

I tilted her hips up, slipping her underwear down her legs. The sight of her almost made me lose control. My hands roughly traveled over every inch of her skin.

She let a small groan escape. Her arms twitched, looking like she wanted to touch me. Her face strained, and her eyes grew hazy. Faraway.

I felt myself drifting, reality breaking through. Dull slashes of pain ran over my torso, dragging me away from her back to the dungeon.

No.

I did not want this dream to end. She said she needed me, but I needed her just as much.

“Stop. Stay with me.” I straddled her on all fours, stopping her struggle to touch me. “Just a little longer.” I leaned over, my lips finding hers.

Tasting her felt like I finally found my place. I wanted to be so deep inside her neither one of us could find our way out again.

Even if this was a dream, for one moment I wanted to pretend it was true.

“I’ve done some interesting things, but this might be hitting a new level,” I mumbled against her mouth.

“Why? You’re not even real. This is all in my head.”

No, it was in my head.

“Zoey, I will make you another promise. I am going to bury myself into you so deeply and fiercely we are both going to feel it in reality.”

I grabbed her ass, angling her to me. I sank into her, then plunged deeper, feeling like I had come home.

Voices came and went, speaking words I could not understand and had no energy to try. Time had no meaning. Pain was the only way I could decipher reality, with sleep taking me away when it became too much. The fever was back, blistering my skin with heat.

Each morning and evening Vadik’s servants came to feed me, clean my wounds, or bathe me. Two guards stood at the door. They fed me fae food, which helped ease my physical suffering and would help to heal me.

They stayed silent and left as soon as they were done. Keeping me alive and helping me heal was simply so he could torment me again.

Vadik was not forgiving.

Every moment was torture. The deep gashes across my stomach and back drove buckling pain through me. Exposed tissue and torn skin gaped like tiny, pink mouths with ragged teeth, open and screaming.

I measured time by the visits. Days if not weeks passed this way.

Eventually, they no longer chained me to the wall and allowed me to roam the small cell, if I got up. I barely did. The only thing in the cell was a bucket to piss in. Most of the time I slept curled on my side, to keep pressure off the deep wounds slashed across my back and stomach. The icy stone floor prevented my muscles from unlocking or relaxing.

The thud of the door snapped my lids open, then they slowly drooped again. Footsteps moved toward me.

“Roll him onto his back,” Vadik’s voice boomed through the cell.

Hands came down on me, pitching me over. I squeezed my lids tight, pain in my back throbbing and spiking every nerve.

“Are you done being stubborn?” Vadik’s voice came from above me. I wanted to spit at him, to tell him to fuck off, but my tongue and mouth wouldn’t cooperate.

“Look at me and answer,” he demanded with a growl.

His words caused a flash of fear to press down on my lungs, stirring a deep-rooted terror. It was a strange reaction. I took a deep breath, and the movement shoved my back against the floor. Pain brought my thoughts back to the horrendous aching I tried to ignore.

“Are you ready to locate your girlfriend?”

My lids lifted, blinking a few times. “Kiss my ass.”

Vadik stood over me, his hair slicked back, his navy eyes narrowed on mine. He wore one of his incredibly expensive suits. The pressed immaculate outfit and clean manicured nails fostered the idea he never got his hands dirty.

It was all a façade.

“Do not disrespect me.” The tips of his shoes dug into my ribs.

I ground my teeth together. “Why don’t you get her?” I said through a gritted mouth. “Go get her from your buddy Rapava yourself.”

A nerve in Vadik’s neck twitched.

“Most humans are stupid. He is one of the rare ones who actually understands and fears our power. The domination we could regain, but he is quite good at keeping his location secret.” Vadik slipped his hands into his trousers, his feet still clipping my side. “Our deals bring me money and supplies him victims to use as experiments.”

“Your own people,” I snarled.

A creepy smile flashed on his face. “Not all. He needs humans as well.”

“What do you mean?”

He smirked but didn’t respond.

Whatever his secret, I was sure it was dangerous. I actually didn’t want to know. I had too much on my plate to worry about.

“Do you feel the oath nipping at you? Growing stronger every day?” Vadik leaned over me. “The longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. I could be patient and wait for the day you can no longer stand it, but I’m in a hurry.” He stood straight again. “Anyway, by then you will tear her apart in a state of bloodlust. I would like her alive until I decide which one of you to keep.”

Like a pet. That’s all we were to him. Pets, minions, and slaves.

Vadik took his hands from his pockets, his polished cufflinks glinting in the dim light. Something about them caught my eye. I directed my gaze at the symbols of two dragons, their necks linking around each other. A family crest. The dragons sat atop a shield with a crown and boat on it. I couldn’t make out the writing below the crown. The fine details of the crest were lost in the shadows. A flicker of familiarity crossed my mind. I had traveled to so many places, I could have easily seen the crest before. Maybe there was a reason Vadik hated me so much. Besides double-crossing him this time, I might have done it before, although he didn’t seem the kind to keep our past dealings a secret.

“I will take your silence as a no.” He clicked his tongue. At that, Cadoc and the blue-haired guy moved to his side. He nodded.

A whimper coiled around my throat, but I kept my mouth shut as the two men pulled me to my feet, latching the cuffs around my wrists.

I was strung up. My feet lifted completely off the ground. Once again my weight and gravity ripped at my body. The stretch of my agonized muscles and ligaments screamed in torture. My barely healing cuts tore open again as my skin stretched. Dots blinded my vision.

“Leave him like this for a while. Let him think about his options and which one will soon outweigh the other.” Vadik whipped around, exiting the cell. The other two trailed on his heels, leaving me swinging from the ceiling.

Vomit hung around my throat. The pain finally forced me to exit the present and shift away to the only place that gave me comfort.

I woke with her next to me again. The feel of her skin sent heat up the side of my body. I rolled over, propping on my side. This was my happy place where I didn’t feel the excruciating pain of my dungeon. Just her and me.

She lay in the exact same position as before: on her stomach, one arm curled around the pillow, head turned the other way. Her T-shirt hitched up, a slit of skin showing.

Like last time, I could not resist touching her. The feel of her skin beneath my fingertips ignited me. She turned her head to me, smiling.

We watched each other, my hand exploring her body.

Her eyes grew sad. Almost defeated. “Why haven’t you found me yet? Where are you?”

“You know I would be there if I could.” I couldn’t bear to add more sadness to those eyes.

“I’m scared for you.”

“Don’t be. Worry about yourself. You know, no matter what, I will find a way to you.”

“Can it be now?”

With a smile, I leaned over, brushing my lips over my shoulder. Even the Zoey in my head was getting impatient with me.

“Croygen’s here.”

I jerked back. “Wow, you know how to ruin a moment.”

“You know me.” She grinned.

I would never admit this to Croygen, but it was the very thing I wanted. Someone to be there for her when I couldn’t.

My past with Croygen was complicated. In one way, I didn’t trust him, but I did with Zoey. He was loyal in his way. He’d been there in the background for decades now. As dysfunctional as we were, he was the closest I had to a friend. It gave me a little comfort to pretend he was protecting her.

“Yes.” I stared into her green eyes. “I do know you. Don’t you forget, Zoey.”

“I’m trying not to.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Actually, Croygen and Sprig help keep me grounded. I don’t want to lose myself completely.”

Even if it were all in my head, my subconscious did not want her to be alone and scared. It helped, even if it weren’t true. I knew Dr. Rapava had Sprig, too, but in reality there was little chance they would get to be together, even if the little furball kept trying.

I reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You won’t. You are way too strong. And stubborn.” Liquid filled her eyes. She felt so real; it was hard to remember she wasn’t. “And I hate to admit this, but if I can’t be there, I’m glad Croygen is.”

“Now I know this is in my imagination.” A smile exploded over her face.

“What? I don’t feel real to you?” I teased my imaginary Zoey, my fingers roaming over her, pushing the blankets off.

“You do, that’s the problem.” Desire in her eyes mirrored my own. Damn this was a mindfuck. I could stay here, locked in this dream. “I want to stay here. Escape from all the pain. Remain here with you forever.”

It was the problem. I wanted to quit and stop fighting, letting the dream take over my reality. But I couldn’t. The girl I wanted was out there, hurting. I had to stop this. Without this comfort, I would fight more to get free.

“This has to be the last time.” I pinched my mouth together in resolve.

She drew in a long breath. “Rapava needs to be stopped. I get it. But being here compels me to want to stay in this bed forever. Be selfish. It would be so easy. But I know you are out there somewhere, and I want the real you.”

“Even though I will be trying to kill you?”

“Especially because of that.” She turned over on her side. “You and I are survivors, and we will do whatever it takes to live and be together. That is the love I want. Whatever the outcome.” She sat up, the sheet pooling in her lap. “My dreams of you gave me strength at first. I needed to retreat into you. To feel comfort. I can’t have it anymore. I need to turn off my feelings. Become the person they want. Being here makes me want you too much. I feel weak.”

Even though she said it, I knew they were my words. My subconscious telling me to let this go and fight.

It was time.

I somehow knew this would be the last dream I would have of her. She needed me out in the real world. Not hiding away in my head.

I slipped my hand over her cheek, cupping it, and pulled her to me. Her mouth greeted mine. Instantly a deep craving took over me. I tugged the back of her neck, wanting her closer. She moved forward, the power of her mouth pressed me back. She draped her legs on either side of me. I slipped her underwear down her ass, pulling them lower on her thighs. She tugged her shirt over her head.

I grabbed her hips, lifting her up. She sank down on me, a gasp of air releasing from her throat. The utter pleasure on her face was enough for me to lose it. I grabbed the back of her head, my fingers tangling in the loose strands and yanked her to me. My voice was coarse and thick. “Ride me. Wake me up, Zoey. Make me feel you so ardently in the real world nothing will stop me from getting to you. So I can claim you again.”

Whatever she was holding back, she let go. It felt like she was slamming her anger, fear, need, and sadness into me through her hips.