Across The Divide (8 page)

“I never asked before, but what would happen if you couldn’t get to the person you owed to save them. Like me?” I motioned to myself.

“If something happened to you and my debt was still not paid…” He drifted off, his shoulders lifting up. “It’s never happened. Ryker is the only life debt I owe. But I heard the debt grows heavier, while you grow weaker, then you die.”

Holy shit
.

Another oath. Another death. I bolted off the bed, walking for the door before twisting around and falling against it.

“So don’t die before I can save you, all right?” Croygen commanded.

“Hell.” I tipped my head back, staring at the hole in the ceiling I fell from. The panel I dropped through didn’t break, only slipped from its holding, which was lucky. That would have been hard to cover up or fix. “This is all so fucked up.”

“Yeah, meeting you has definitely been eventful and twisted, and especially hazardous to my health. And I’ve hung out with some of the most dangerous, scary-ass men in the Orient.”

“And it’s about to get more so.”

“Why?”

“Because you have an oath to keep me alive, and Ryker has an oath to end it.”

Croygen stared at me for a few moments. “You’re kidding me, right? Please say you’re fucking with me right now.”

“I wish.”

He rubbed a hand over his mouth, shifting around like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“When I thought I might be dying, I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I reacted in the moment. All I knew was it would connect us no matter how far Ryker and I were separated. I wanted him to live.”

Croygen held up his hand. “Let me get this straight. The man I had dedicated my life to protect, for the last century, is the very man I will have to kill because he swore an oath to kill
you
?” He took a step toward me. “And if he fulfills his oath, I die. If I stop him, he dies.”

“And I’m pretty much dead either way. Yeah.”

Croygen regarded me, his face expressionless, except for the heated ire in his eyes. Then in a flash his countenance crumbled and a howl of laughter boomed from his chest.

It jarred me at first, the burst of mirth, but the twisted sick hilarity of our situation struck me too. A smile cracked my mouth, and I snorted briefly. It was like a trigger. Once one came out, the rest would not be contained. I bent over as more and more giggles erupted out of me. Tears leaked down my face. Croygen’s laugh only spurred mine on. I gulped a few times, getting air as our merriment quieted down.

Sprig’s body jerked, and he sprang up. “What? What? Breakfast? Yes, I agree.” He glanced fuzzily between Croygen and me. “They have room service here, right?” Then he fell back over, snoring.

Croygen and I glanced at each other and burst out laughing again.

It felt like a giant boulder was temporarily lifted off me. So much bad lay ahead of us, more than I could probably handle, but it felt good to laugh, really laugh.

Leaving Croygen was difficult. He gave me comfort, a strange peace, knowing he was with me in this. Before, I would never have considered him a friend, someone I would let in. But being here, you got past the bullshit. His presence lightened me. I didn’t feel so alone.

I departed, agreeing to try and come back the next night. To communicate during the day was extremely risky. I was never left alone.

It was strange for Croygen to be my anchor. Besides Sprig, he was my only link to Ryker, to the person I had become, to the life I wanted. Rapava’s mind tricks and jabs at my former beliefs and actions were hard to keep brushing off. Having been forced to delve deeper into the character Rapava wanted me to be, it helped having Croygen and Sprig to never let me forget who I was now.

I would never again be a Collector or the girl I was before the storm. I had been through too much, seen too much, and my feelings for Ryker were far too powerful. Still, it didn’t mean I was resilient to the relentless battle being inflicted on me daily by Rapava and my old Collector comrades.

At one time I believed fae were evil. While some were, Rapava showed me humans could be capable of far worse.

By the time I got back to my room and crawled onto my cot, I was exhausted. It had taken me awhile to scrub Sera’s blood off me and my shirt, stealing the water in Sprig’s cage they had for him to drink. I turned my top inside out, hoping no one would really notice till I could get a clean one. The memories of her violent death replayed in my head until finally sleep sucked me in, claiming me.

Fingers slipped along my backside, my naked skin tingling as his touch curved over my ass to my lower back. A smile arched my mouth before my eyes even opened. I turned my head to him.

Ryker was on his side, propped on one elbow, his jaw set, but his eyes glowed with need. We watched each other, his hand exploring my body.

“Why haven’t you found me yet? Where are you?” I tucked my arms under the pillow.

“You know I’d be there if I could,” he said.

“I’m scared for you.”

“Don’t be. Worry about yourself. You know, no matter what, I will find a way to you.”

“Can it be now?”

The side of his mouth hooked in a half grin. He leaned over, his lips brushing over my shoulder.

“Croygen’s here.”

Ryker pulled back with a groan. “Wow. You know how to ruin a moment.”

I snorted. “You know me.”

“Yes.” Ryker’s eyes burned into mine. “I do know you. Don’t you forget, Zoey.”

“I’m trying not to.” I bit my lip. “Actually, Croygen and Sprig help keep me grounded. I don’t want to lose myself completely.”

“You won’t. You are way too strong. And stubborn.” Ryker tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His touch felt so real tears brimmed under my lids. “And I hate to admit this, but if I can’t be there, I’m glad Croygen is.”

“Now I know this is in my imagination,” I chuckled.

“What? I don’t feel real to you?” He trailed his hand down my side, peeling back the covers as he went.

“You do, that’s the problem.” Heat filled me as he continued. “I want to stay here. Escape from all the pain. Remain here with you forever.”

Ryker stopped, his jaw grinding. “Then this has to be the last time we can be together like this.”

I hated it, but I knew he was right. After losing Sera, I understood I needed to have nothing holding me back.

I drew in a long breath, the pain still cutting deep. “Rapava needs to be stopped. I get it. But being here compels me to want to stay in this bed forever. Be selfish. It would be so easy. But I know you are out there somewhere, and I want the real you.”

“Even though I will be trying to kill you?”

“Especially because of that.” I turned over on my side.

Our reunion would be problematic, but it still wouldn’t stop me. If I were going to die, it would be at Ryker’s hand, not Rapava’s.

“You and I are survivors, and we’ll do whatever it takes to live and be together. That is the love I want. Whatever the outcome.” I sat up, looking over him. “You gave me strength at first. I needed to retreat to you. To feel comfort. I can’t have it anymore. I need to turn off my feelings and become the person they want. Being here causes me to want you too much. I feel weak.”

His hand cupped my cheek. His eyes softened as though he understood. He pulled me to him, his lips meeting mine. Desire zoomed over me, quickly deepening the kiss. I crawled onto him, straddling his bare hips. He rose hard beneath me. Hungry.

He grabbed my hips, lifting me up, then he tugged me slowly back down. Air gasped from my throat as he pushed inside me. His fist knotted behind my head, yanking my hair, his voice a harsh whisper. “Ride me. Wake me up, Zoey. Make me feel you so ardently in the real world, nothing will stop me from getting to you. So I can claim you again.”

There was nothing but him and me. All my anger, fear, need, and sadness pushed out through my hips.

This was the last time, the last dream, and I knew it, and I let everything go.

Because tomorrow would come, and there would be no escape from reality.

The lights above my head fizzed, blinking on. I groaned, digging my head into my pillow, my eyes already burning.

Real life had arrived.

The memory of my dream flashed in my head and was quickly shoved out. 
No more, Zoey. You need to focus on the here and now.

It was up to me to get out of here. Play the game so believable they would eventually let down their guard, slip up. Until then, I needed to find out all I could of Rapava’s plans. I needed to explore the bottom floor. Sera had said Rapava had started something and asked me to save “them.” I felt in my gut whatever she was talking about was on the lower floor. That was my new mission—find a way to that level.

The door to my room swung open. “Good morning, Zoey.”

Speak of the devil.

Dr. Rapava’s abrupt footsteps advanced to the table where Sprig’s cage sat. I curved my head to watch him lift the lid, his analytical gaze on the object inside.

“It’s going to be a busy day for you. Today you will start training. You need to keep up your fighting skills. You will train in the morning and then do testing with me in the afternoon.” Rapava lowered the top. “While you are training, I will be testing EP-One.”

“EP-One?” I sat up.

“Experimental Primate One.” Rapava shut the lid, glancing at me.

I quickly bit down on my tongue. 
He has a name. A sprite name. Spriggan-Galchobhar.

“I have high hopes for him. The faster I can discover why he worked, the sooner I can start reproducing more.” Rapava strode to the end of my cot, everything from his voice to his body language was detached and factual. “We lost Sera last night, and right now my team is analyzing her body. I need to re-examine why your blood didn’t work on her.”

I forced my features into an unemotional blank slate. The impassive tone he used to talk about his “experiments” stretched the capacity of my acting abilities.

“I wanted Liam to train you, but today he is not quite up to his usual standards.” 
Yeah, he just lost his partner and, I’m pretty sure, the woman he loved.
“Peter will be taking over instead.”

I groaned inwardly. Great. Peter was actually worse than Liam. His dislike of me over Daniel and my fae involvement had clearly turned to loathing. He would make me suffer.

Like I didn’t already, every day. No matter what anyone said, I would always blame myself for Daniel’s death.

“I need you dressed, fed, and ready to train in twenty minutes. Peter will be in the training room.” Rapava turned and moved to the door.

My mouth dropped open in surprise. Was he letting me leave the room unsupervised? The idea made me uneasy. His trust was too easy, too soon.

The doctor opened the door. The nurse, Delaney, stood on the other side with a tray of bottles and needles.

“Delaney, after her injection, can you escort Zoey to this level’s cafeteria? She will be eating breakfast in there, and afterwards take her to the training room?”

So…not alone. If it were only Delaney and not with another armed guard with her, it was like going from a tricycle to a two-wheeler with training wheels. He was slowly giving me more freedoms, showing trust, true to his character.

I didn’t buy it for a moment. It was all an act. A test. But everyone I passed only helped me win the game.

He walked out as Delaney walked in.

She gave me a slight smile but quickly let it drop. I wondered if she realized her compassion toward me was a little out of place when she was about to shove a needle in my neck, treating me like another fae specimen.

She set the tray down, selecting a syringe. “How are you feeling today?”

Outstanding, fucking fantastic, joyous…this is like a tropical vacation.

“Fine.”

She smiled in return. She had a kind aura. Even as she wiped my neck with an alcohol swab, I still couldn’t totally hate her, even though I wanted to. She was part of team, and she knew what Rapava was really up to. But she was someone who, like I once did, thought fae were evil and what DMG was doing was beneficial. Hopefully she saw me as a Collector, a human, one of the “team,” no matter how far I strayed.

“You know we lost Sera last night?” Her voice sounded timid and soft.

“Yes.” I cringed as she drove the needle into my vein. “Rapava told me.” Suddenly Sera’s face, blood leaking from her eyes and mouth, fixed behind my eye. I had to shake my head to clear the image.

“I didn’t know her well, but it’s still sad…to lose someone in that way.” Delaney sucked in her bottom lip. It looked like she was trying to push the memories of Sera’s dead body from her head as well. “She was too young.”

“She was a bitch,” I responded, watching Delaney’s eyebrows hitch up. “But no one should die like that. Violently and alone.”

Her head tilted as she pulled the syringe from my neck, I could see the question forming on her lips.

Shit
. “That’s what I heard. Her death was brutal. I-I saw her earlier yesterday and she looked awful. She was still human, one of us, part of the team.” Reflecting Delaney’s words back to her from the night before was a manipulation. A trick to subconsciously bring someone in closer. My survival skills would always float on top when I needed the—whatever it took, whoever I had to con. The nurse injecting me with traces of goblin metal was not going to become a friend, merely someone to befriend and manipulate. I would do whatever it took to get the hell out of here.