Activate (13 page)

I
n the end
, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back to school, pretending like nothing was different. My dad got it, so he signed the papers, letting me work at the facility where I was “created” all those years ago. I’m living at the facility, but I still eat with dad and Michaela at least three times a week. I know this is the right place for me, because the President and my team here are all committed to using my skills for good.

In just a few minutes, we’re going to do just that. Hinton needs to talk to Sabrina, and we need to keep him alive while he does it. He came in two days ago, asking for help, and I didn’t hesitate to give it to him. I’ve been working day and night, looking at things from every angle, doing all I can to make sure he’ll be okay.

“Stop thinking so hard over there,” he tells me from his hospital bed.

“You asked me to think for you.”

“True, but now I need you to chill. You looking so serious is freaking me out a little.”

“Sorry. It
is
serious though, you know. It took them three days to wake Levi up, and now you’re doing the same thing.”

“Yeah, but I worked up to this. He went in with no planning or preparation. I’ve got this.”

“And I’ve got you. Go ahead when you’re ready.”

He lays back and closes his eyes. I watch his vitals, and brain activity, noticing the change telling me he’s gotten into her mind. It’s not a big change, but then again, he’s been doing this for about a week now. It’s what comes next that we need to monitor closely.

I’ve watched people I thought could be friends die, and I don’t want anyone else to be gone, especially not on my watch. In the line of work I’ve chosen, I’m going to lose people I come to care about. I know that, and on some level, I’ve accepted it.

The eight of us are different, and not just because we’re not human. We’re bound together in ways I never will be with anyone else. No matter where we go, or what we do in life, we’ll always be parts of one whole. There will always be cracks here, and there, but we’re in this together. Even without Levi, I’d be looking for Sabrina to remind her of that.

“Sabrina,” Hinton says out loud, and I look to the monitors in alarm.

His brain levels are spiking, and I grab his hand, because even though we’re prepared for this, there’s not much else I can do right now but give him my support. We’ve got soothing music playing, and we’re keeping his heart rate stable, but his brain is not something we can control.

The minutes feel like hours, and then he’s opening his eyes. It takes him a moment to focus, but when he does, he locks eyes with me. “I did what I could. I don’t know if it’s enough, but I felt myself slipping away, so I got out. I had to get out.”

“You don’t have to convince me, man. I’m not anywhere near prepared to see you lying unconscious for days, and she would’ve known if you’d lost the connection. I don’t think she’d ever come back if she thought she did that to you.”

“She
could
feel it. She begged me to go, but I held on long enough to get her to promise to come back.”

Holy crap, he did it. “She’s really coming?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t want us to tell Levi, but she’ll be at school tomorrow.”

“I might just need to be there for that.”

I
’ve never
in my life been nervous or scared to walk into a school lunchroom. I was a confident kid, and a charismatic teenager before everything went to hell, but now I’m just a girl. A girl who’s madly, desperately in love with a boy who’s on the other side of those doors. Doors that I can’t make myself walk through, because I don’t know what I’ll find on the other side.

When Hinton got into my head yesterday, he told me Levi is dying without me. Not literally, but emotionally, he’s a wreck. I can relate since I’ve been a mess since I came to my senses and realized what I’d done, and knew that I had to leave.

I love that boy with a fierceness that I never knew I had inside of me, but can I really just walk inside, and have him accept me? Just because he loves me doesn’t mean he wants to be with me. Or if he
wants
me, he may also realize he shouldn’t be with me. Is it wrong to hope he hasn’t come to his senses?

“The doors aren’t going to open themselves,” Coalton says from behind me.

“I heard you left school.”

“I wanted to see this.”

“What? Me getting rejected?”

“You’re crazy if you think he’s going to reject you.”

“Lots of people would say I’m crazy if they knew what I’d done.”

“I’m not one of those people, and neither are the others.”

“Is he really a mess?”

“Yeah.”

“I was going to kill you all. I won’t ever sugar-coat it.”

“This is me you’re talking to,” he says, coming to stand in front of me. “I’d never ask you to sugar-coat anything.”

“If he asks me, I can’t lie to him.” It’s my biggest fear—having to tell him I was going to kill him.

“You won’t have to.”

“You seem so sure about that.”

“He was in your head, Sabrina. He knows exactly what you were thinking and feeling. Which means, he knows you were fighting them.”

“I tried.”

“No one doubts that.”

“Will you walk in with me?”

“Of course.”

He opens the door and holds it for me. I walk in and the whispers begin. I don’t know what they’ve said to cover up me being gone for almost a month, but I don’t really care, either. I smile and feel the curiosity in the room ebb and flow as I walk past different tables. When I get to the one where they’re all sitting, I stop and hold my head as high as I can.

“Hi.”

They all look at each other and then at Levi. No one answers me, and Levi hasn’t turned to look at me, so I spin around and walk out of the cafeteria as fast as I can while still trying to look dignified. This was a mistake, and I shouldn’t have come back.

I’m in the courtyard when a hand slips into mine, and I’m pulled to a stop. I don’t turn to him, because I can’t. I can’t bear to see the anger and hatred my presence has brought forth.

“You’re a hard girl to find,” he says softly, moving around to look at me.

I still don’t look at him, just his shoes. They’re black converse, and for some reason it makes me want to smile. But that’s not right.
This
isn’t right.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have been looking.”

“If you truly don’t want me, I’ll let you go.”

I may not be able to look at him, but I won’t lie. “I will always want you.”

“Good, because I really didn’t want to let you go.”

“But you would have.”

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t want me.”

“I love you, Sabrina,” he tells me, lifting my chin so I have to look him in the eye.

“I love you, too.”

“That’s all that matters right now.”

“I almost killed you.”

“I know. I also know I wasn’t dreaming when I heard your voice while I was unconscious. You came to me before you left, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I-I had to see you one last time.”

“I could hear the pain in your voice, just like I heard it when they were controlling you. You aren’t some cold-blooded killer.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to stop if you hadn’t come into my mind.”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you did stop. You told me you loved me, and you successfully overcame the control they had over you.”

“Where do we go from here?” I ask, needing to know.

“Well, everyone’s talking about Prom. Will you go there with me? I know it’s lame to just ask and not plan something spectacular, but I needed to ask you.”

“I would love to go to Prom with you. And just for the record, I don’t need ‘spectacular.’”

“But do you want it?”

“What girl doesn’t want it?”

“I’ll think of something. In the meantime, will you all go to dinner with me tonight?”

“Yes.”

“A movie tomorrow night?”

“Yes,” I tell him again, this time with a laugh.

“Dinner,
and
a movie the night after?”

“Let me just tell you this once. My answer to you asking me on a date—any date—will always be ‘yes.’”

“I’m still going to ask.”

“Who knew you were so romantic?”

I guess I knew that, but now it’s really clear. I never thought I was a girl who would love this kind of thing, but I do. I feel special, and loved.

“Shh. Don’t tell the girls around here. For some reason, they think my accent is hot.”

“Oh, challenge accepted.”

“Challenge?”

“Yep. We’re going to PDA the heck out of this place, so be prepared.”

“With you, I’m prepared for anything and everything. This is forever, Sabrina.”

“Yes, it is, Levi.”

A month ago, I was someone different, but now I’m who I’m supposed to be. I fought for myself, and everyone I care about, too. I can’t say I wouldn’t have changed anything, because trying to kill my friends, and my boyfriend, sucked, but I’ve learned so much from all that’s happened to me. Most importantly, I’ve learned that life is a choice, and it’s one I intend to keep choosing over, and over again.

I
need
to thank my daughters, Dominique and Gabrielle, for being amazing and putting up with me embarrassing them from time to time.

Helen Williams created my awesome book cover, and is just awesome in general, so thanks to her as well!

Tera Lynn Childs made me finish my first book, so I’m always going to be thankful to her.

My good friends Rose, Cel, Velvet, April, Addy, and Sarah, who are part of one of the best book clubs ever!

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