Adaptation: book I (19 page)

Bilal went to the kitchen and opened cans of soup and made cheese sandwiches. He knew that Carmella had a preference for bottled iced tea, which she kept in abundance. He carried a tray upstairs and grinned when he saw that mother and son were both sound of asleep. Bilal placed the tray on the dresser, kicked off his shoes, and climbed into the bed. He turned on his side and placed a protective arm over both Raj and Carmella.

He had never known this level of contentment even when he could wrap his tentacles around his loved ones or when he could lie under a tree in his glade. That couldn’t come close to the feeling of lying here with his family. After watching them sleep, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep while the chilly night wrapped around the cozy house with its small little family as its occupants slept in peace and contentment.

~***~

Carmella needed to pee and clean herself when she awakened. Bilal had cleaned her up amazingly well after the birth, and luckily she had still been out of it enough not to care that he’d done that for her. She blinked when she saw him sleeping beside her, his arm thrown across her and the baby.

Instead of getting up, she settled back in bed and she smiled down at Raj sleeping in her arms. He was the most precious thing. She bent to kiss his brow for probably the hundredth time since he was born.

She felt the gentle pressure in her bladder but had lost the desire to venture out of the warm bed. Bilal had changed the sheets at some point after the birth and had gotten her into a clean gown. She wasn’t bleeding much, which she thought was strange. She reached down and lightly touched the incision on her belly, and it didn’t hurt at all despite nothing holding it together but liquid bandage. Yeah, Bilal had done a good job. Already the torture of childbirth was fast becoming a distant memory.

She looked at the sleeping man with his light stubble and long silky hair that he kept loose. Sometimes she wanted to touch it, to brush it and pull it back into a braid. His skin no longer seemed odd. Today it was a bright and happy pinkish because he was happy. She knew what other colors meant, too. Gray was neutral, yellow was shame, purple was emotional, red was anger, and black meant pain.

She sighed, reached out, and took a strand of Bilal’s hair between her fingers. It was everything she thought it would be, silky and smooth like strands of satin. She longed to smell it and rub her face against it. Weird. She was a weirdo. She released his hair and grinned at herself.

She found herself gazing at him. He was pink. He was happy. Before she knew it she was snuggling deeper into his arms until her head was against his shoulder. She inhaled his aroma that went beyond the shampoo they both used, and it was an aroma that was distinctly his own. His scent soothed her, and soon she fell asleep.

Bilal stared into
Raj’s face. His son was sleepy but tried to fight it to see the world around him, particularly his father. Eventually Raj drifted off to sleep. Bilal held him for a while longer enjoying the feel of the infant in his hands then placed him in the cradle beside Carmella’s bed.

She was asleep as well, which was good. The incision was nearly healed though it had only been a day since the birth. He couldn’t do much with one set of sensors, but he could do that. Yet he was concerned, not for her health but for her reaction to the news he had to tell her. He had taken her ability to ever birth another child.

He moved one long dreadlock where it had fallen across Carmella’s neck and positioned it on her pillow. He then went outside to finish the chores, and he was in deep thought as he did them. He was surprised to see that Wolf had left his position outside Carmella’s bedroom to follow him outside. Bilal wasn’t afraid of him any longer. Wolf could have harmed him, but Bilal no longer sensed aggression in the animal. Wolf even placed himself in a position to protect Bilal when he was outdoors.

Bilal walked the circumference of the yard and chased away several stray raccoons and muskrats. Afterwards he sat with Girl and watched from the outskirts of the yard. It was probably a good thing. Bilal didn’t carry a gun and wouldn’t know how to shoot straight even if he did. He never had use for one in all of his travels.

When he was fully Centaurian, his outer skin was nearly impervious to bites and he possessed stingers that could be deadly. He was swift and could easily blend in with his surroundings. As a human, however, he was sadly inadequate. Bilal realized there were many things he had failed to consider when making his rash decision to become human.

And because of it, he had destroyed a woman’s life.

When he returned to the house hours later he saw that Carmella was moving around the kitchen easily and carrying the sleeping baby in the crook of her arm.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed,” he said.

She smiled and shrugged. “I feel really good.” She lightly patted her still swollen belly. “You did a great job. It barely hurts at all.” She smirked. ”You sure there’s not another baby in there?”

His skin turned a strange shade of yellow.

She cocked her head at him. “I’m kidding Bilal, lighten up.” She turned back to the stove. “I’m starting dinner. White chicken chili all right with you?”

“Uh, yes.” He washed his hands and offered to take the baby while she cooked.

She gave her son a brief kiss on his forehead and passed him to Bilal.

He sat in a kitchen chair and decided now would be a good time to tell her the bad news. “Carmella.”

“Bilal, can you grab a can of tomatoes from the pantry?”

He rose, found a can, and handed it to her. “Carmella, I—”

“We have enough supplies,” Carmella interrupted, “but I’d feel better if we can go out and get more before the first snow falls.”

He scrutinized the pantry and knew that with three consuming the food it would be necessary to go out for dry and canned foods. He felt guilty for using her resources.

“Carmella, I have to tell you something.”

She turned to him. “Yes?”

“I should have told you this before, but I …” He sighed. “During childbirth you were hemorrhaging badly. So badly in fact that it risked your life. I couldn’t save your womb, deal with the incision, and help Raj to be born. I didn’t have enough hands and—”

“Wait,” Carmella interrupted. “Are you saying that I no longer have a uterus?”

“Yes. I had to take your uterus.”

Carmella bit her lip. Then she threw her hand in the air and made a fist pump while whooping loudly. “Thank you,
Jesus!
”

Bilal was stunned. “You aren’t angry?”

“No.”

She stood before his seated figure wearing sweat pants, fuzzy socks, and a man’s over-shirt. Her hair was pulled into a makeshift ponytail at the back of her head, and her eyes were twinkling and merry. He thought she was absolutely beautiful.

Bilal had always seen beauty through the eyes of the human he had wished to be. There were plenty of beautiful humans, male and female, dark and light, big and small. But even the ones who were not physically beautiful were still appealing to him for some reason. Wrinkles were meant to be explored while freckles and pimples were landscapes that intrigued him.

Carmella was not “technically” beautiful, not in the way that other humans gauged each other. She didn’t have massive breasts and a tiny waist, and her hair did not look like silky strands. But to him, she stood worlds apart from any human or Centaurian that he’d ever seen.

“I am so happy to be free of that monthly nightmare,” she said. Monthly? She wished that her cycle was only monthly. Its severity and frequency made her life difficult, and that didn’t factor in the number of female personal products she had to keep on hand. She had already cleared out all of the stores in her area over the many years she had lived on the farm.

Bilal shook his head. “I thought you would be angry. You won’t be able to have any more children because of what I did.”

“What? Children? Bilal, I never said that I wanted any more children.” She glanced down lovingly at her beautiful sleeping son. “I love Raj. I love him to death.” It had only been one day since giving birth and she couldn’t love him more. She met Bilal’s eyes again. “But I’m not having any more children.”

“But, what if you meet … a human?” 

“I’ll never meet another human. And I’m not going to that fake Earth.
This
is my Earth.”             

“I understand. This is your world. But you aren’t the only person on Earth. You could meet someone here.”

“I don’t want to,” Carmella said. She had Raj to care for, and she wouldn’t be quick to welcome another person into her environment. She shook her head and returned to the stove where she poured the open can of tomatoes into a pot with some leftover chicken.              

He relaxed when she didn’t say anything more. He was still surprised that she was far from angry about not having a uterus. He was relieved, though he wasn’t exactly happy.

He looked down at his son and thought that there would not be another like this one.

~***~

After dinner, Raj
cried for the first time.

Bilal nearly dropped the plate he was washing as he rushed into the living room where Carmella was reclining on the chaise holding the baby while Wolf barked to be let in.

Carmella smiled at and cooed to Raj, who waved his fists angrily.

Bilal moved closer to assess him for injury. “Why is he crying?”

“He’s ready for his dinner.”

As Bilal stood over them, he saw little tears appear in his son’s eyes. It was nearly Bilal’s undoing. “Please, Carmella, do something.”

“He’s only a little hungry, Bilal. He’s a greedy one.” She reached into her shirt to withdraw a swollen breast. She shoved a dark nipple into the baby’s eager mouth, and Raj stopped crying and began to drink hungrily. In a few moments he was asleep again.

Bilal watched the teardrop in the corner of his son’s eye until it disappeared. “I didn’t think …”

“You didn’t think what?”

“That he would cry tears.”

“Tears aren’t necessarily a bad thing,” Carmella said. “People cry from happiness as well as sadness. Right now, this is the only way that Raj knows how to communicate.”

He reached down and touched Raj’s face. “I still don’t like it.”

~***~

But
Bilal would
learn to understand it.

As the baby grew stronger, so did his lungs. He cried, slept, ate, and dirtied his diaper. Bilal never got used to the tears, but he realized that they didn’t always appear when Raj bellowed loudly. Sometimes he cried just to hear himself, and sometimes he cried to strengthen his lungs. He even did it because he knew it would bring his mom or dad. Wolf would run in a different direction whenever he heard Raj’s high-pitched cries and often darted to the front door, whining to be let out.

“You should be used to this, Wolf,” Carmella said while juggling the crying baby in one arm and opening the front door to let Wolf out to join his wife. “You’ve had four litters already. You cannot tell me that your babies don’t cry.”

Bilal waved at her, and she smiled and waved back. He was on laundry duty today. It was easier to take turns so one person could sit with the baby. He never complained about the many chores he had to do outside in the cold. It was the middle of November, and winter was upon them although snow had yet to fall.

When Raj was a month old, Bilal talked about heading out for more kerosene and supplies, but Carmella did not want to stay behind. “I will go along with you,” she said. “I need to get away from this place for a little while.”

But Bilal seemed reluctant to bring Raj along. At one month old, he was a remarkably alert baby, following them with his eyes, cooing and laughing and interacting with them in the way that a much older infant might do.

Whenever Carmella looked into Raj’s eyes, she knew without a doubt that he was aware of who she was and what was going on around him.

She jiggled him as he cried. “Are you hungry, little man?”

Taj yelled even louder.

“Okay, honey. Mommy’s coming.” She grabbed a book she had been reading during feedings and moved to the comfy chaise near the living room fireplace. “
Shh,” she cooed as she got comfortable. She released her breast, and as soon a Raj saw it, his mouth searched hungrily for it. She watched as he settled down and fed.

Carmella stared into his chocolate eyes. For the millionth time she wondered about the other Raj, Roger, his second father. How much of this stranger’s personality
was in her son? Did he even know he had a child? Maybe she should ask Bilal about it, but talking about his friends always made Bilal turn purple. Purple wasn’t as bad as black, but it was not a good color for his emotional state.

She studied her son’s light brown skin. It never changed tints. She stroked his hair and wondered if the curls would stay. She smiled at him. “I love you, son. I love you so much.”