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I shook my head. I would run with the wolves, but I wouldn’t be hunting down Bambi for supper.

He winked at me. “See you tomorrow, Owens.”

He walked off and I was left with a choice. Open the door and deal with Marcus, or run like the coward I was. I gave serious thought to starting my monthly run early.

In the end, I slid the key in. I wanted to see him one last time before he went.

The condo was dark and quiet. I let myself in, sadness pulling at the core of my being. This wasn’t how I thought this day would end. I expected to be wrapped around him, his head on my chest. He loved to listen to my heartbeat. I didn’t expect to be mourning him.

He stood by the window. The condo was dim, but the snow outside illuminated the room. He’d drawn back all the blinds and stared down on the world below. Snow was still falling outside, an ethereal sight. He leaned into the large window, his forehead touching the pane. His hair fell forward, covering his brow. He looked gorgeous and disheveled, his normal perfection marred with concern. His skin was pale alabaster, nearly glowing in the moonlight. He was slightly alien and wholly untouchable—a lonely, unapproachable god.

His suitcase sat by the doorway. I glanced to the entryway table and saw Marcus’s passport and wallet. My hand went to the Venetian glass heart around my neck. I hadn’t taken it off. I supposed in time I would. I couldn’t bring myself to toss it at him now.

“You can take the bed, Kelsey.” His voice echoed through the apartment, but he didn’t move at all. “I’ll sleep on the plane tomorrow.”

“Sure.” He obviously didn’t want to talk. I turned to start for the bedroom, but stopped because I couldn’t let him go without saying a few things. It was his fault. He’d made me feel halfway lovable. It gave me a little pride. It also fed my anger. “You know, you’re just like the rest. I thought you were different, but you’re not.”

“I’m like all the other men in your life, am I?” He laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “You wish to compare me to the lieutenant because I refuse to watch you die, Kelsey?”

“Bullshit.” I didn’t believe that at all. “You’re splitting because I didn’t do what you told me to do. You know, Marcus, it would have been easier if you’d listened to me in the first place. I told you it wouldn’t work. I told you you wouldn’t want me in the end.”

He went back to watching the snow. “If that is what you wish to believe, Kelsey, then I cannot stop you.”

Three Kelseys. He wasn’t going to slip up and give me what I wanted. He wasn’t going to call me
cara mia
or
bella
. I was Kelsey. I should be happy he wasn’t calling me Miss Owens. He got rigidly polite when he no longer cared. I heard the king telling me to fight for him, but at that moment, I wanted to fight
with
him. I wanted him to feel as shitty as I did. It wasn’t fair. He was the one leaving me over a professional decision. He was the jerk.

I crossed my arms over my chest. A nasty feeling had taken root in my gut. What can I say? Put me in a corner like that and I tend to turn bitchy. “The king is giving my training over to Hugo. Any thoughts on how to handle him?”

He sighed, the sound heavy to my ears. “Listen to him, Kelsey. Hugo doesn’t have as much experience training Hunters as I do, but he’s quite good at it. Do what he advises you to do.”

Oh, that wasn’t what I’d meant at all. “I meant sexually, Marcus. I know you like it rough. I was wondering if Hugo does, too. Or should I play the sweet innocent? Some guys like that. Is he as possessive as you are? I hope not. I thought I’d give Casey a try, too. Liv seemed to like his bite. He’s a baby. I could train him.”

That got him moving. Super fast, actually. One minute he was at the window, the next he was right in front of me. His eyes were obsidian and his fangs long. I had to hold my ground because I wanted to take a step back.

“Casey? Really, my dear, that is sad. I rather thought you would go after that wolf who keeps sniffing around what belongs to me.” His accent was thicker. I appreciated him keeping it in English though. Sometimes when he gets upset, he forgets that I don’t speak Italian.

I knew who he was talking about. It was ridiculous, but I would use it. “I don’t belong to you anymore. I’m free to do what I want, who I want. You know, he did ask me out. It didn’t take him long. Trent heard you dumped me, and now we’re going out next Saturday. I’ve never fucked a werewolf before. Do you think Trent will want to do me doggy-style?”

Marcus growled. His hand tangled in my hair, pulling my head back so I was forced to look up at him. That bite of pain sizzled through my body. Marcus ran his nose along my neck. He was more vampire than man now. He was on the edge of losing control. And I kept pushing.

“I’ve heard the wolf packs can get crazy on a full moon.” I gasped as his teeth dragged against my skin. I wondered if he was planning on getting one last feed in. I would fight him on that. He pulled me flush against his body. One hand held my head to the side while the other traced the line of my spine. “Do you think they’ll invite me to join in on their orgy?”

“Not if they wish to live,
bella
.”

I laughed. I also moved against his body. I loved the way he felt. I wanted more than anything to throw down with him one last time. “It’s going to be hard to defend my honor from across the Atlantic.”

He stopped, seeming to come back to his senses. His head came up and that awful blank look was back on his face. “Go to bed. I can’t promise you I’ll stay in control. I seem to have lost it tonight, in every way possible.”

“You’re really going to leave me.” I knew I sounded pathetic, but I already missed the feel of him against my skin. My vision blurred, tears nearly blinding me.

Marcus stared at me as though trying to make up his mind. He reached out and brushed a tear off my cheek. “Yes, Kelsey. I’m going to do what I should have done long ago. I’m going to shut myself up in my villa on Poveglia. I’m going to be alone. I should have done it ten years ago. I was an idiot not to do it four years ago.”

“Why? What happened four years ago?” I knew what happened ten years past. Marcus had aided the king in taking down the old Council. There was a piece of Marcus that thought he should have died with them.

Marcus slumped onto the couch. It was the first time I’d seen him move in an inelegant fashion. “Four years ago, the queen gave birth to her daughter.”

God, my rival was a toddler. The thought made my heart clench. “Well, Vorenus, if it’s any consolation, Donovan is ready to marry her off to you as soon as she’s legal. I hope to hell you’re both happy. I’m sure you’ll find some other idiot to fill in the time between now and then.”

“You don’t understand. I don’t want her. I will never be able to want her. She’ll always be a child to me.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand.” I sank down across from him. I felt tired, but I wanted to hear this story.

“She was promised to me.”

“By Donovan?”

He shook his head. “No. By a prophet named Jacob, though you would know him as Apollo.”

I felt my eyes widen because I hadn’t gotten that memo. There should be an
Idiot’s Guide to Supernatural Creatures
given to me with my
Nex Apparatus
training binder. “Damn. Are you telling me the Greek gods still roam the Earth?”

He shook his head ruefully. “Many of the beings who pretended to be gods still roam this plane. Have you ever heard the term sympathetic transference? No? It’s a condition in which a vampire bonds so fully with a companion that when she dies, she takes him with her. It’s the only natural way a vampire can die.”

I felt my heart break a little. “You want it.”

“I want to love a woman so much that I die with her, yes. I stare eternity in the face and it seems so long. Do you know how many I have loved and watched grow old and perish? You grow selfish after a while because you truly understand how insignificant you are. I always believed that if I found that woman, I would enjoy a lifetime knowing that my time was almost over. It would lend it a sweetness, an urgency. It would make me feel alive.”

He wanted to die. It was so much more complex than that, but at the heart of it was an end to Marcus’s long life. “And this prophet told you that Evan would be the woman for you?”

“I was told that one of the queen’s line would be the woman I would die with. I feel nothing for her beyond an almost fatherly affection. She’s a sweet girl.” His eyes caught mine. “I know you won’t believe this, but I do love you, Kelsey. I have passion for you.”

“Not enough.” I wouldn’t be the one Marcus died with.

“For it to work, the woman has to be a companion.”

Of course. It was funny how hollow I felt in that moment. Months before a woman I’d met had told me not to get too involved with any vampire because he would always want a companion. It was written into their DNA. “I’m never going to be a companion. I guess you’re smart to cut your losses.”

“Kelsey, this is going to be hard for you to understand, but there will come a time when the bond between us will break, and you’ll be the one to break it. You will wake up at some point and be strong enough on your own. You won’t want me the way you do now. What you feel now is a biological impulse. I’ve done this several times and each time my Hunter has left me. Every single time. Do you know who they left me for? A wolf. In the end, you’ll want a wolf. Trent knows it. It’s why he’s sniffing around you now.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true. Hugo married one of his Hunters, but ask him about the two who left him. At the end of the relationship they felt some affection for their trainer, but their passion always turns to wolves. I’m caught between a woman who will leave me and a child I can never want.”

I stood up. I’d heard enough. I couldn’t compete with some grand destiny. The rest was bullshit. I wasn’t about to give everything up for some random wolf. “Give it time, Vorenus. You’re right. You should go to Italy. Don’t come back until she’s twenty-five or so. I’m sure it will be different then.”

I walked to the bedroom to do what I should have done in the first place. I should have gone to bed. Falling onto the big bed I should have shared with my lover, I let myself cry. I tried to hold tight to my mental shields, but part of the training I’d so recently gone through was to let my emotion have its way. I wasn’t wolf enough to find a mate there. I wasn’t a companion, so no vampire would want me long term. As for the humans, I doubted I could keep one alive in my world. I was destined to be like my father—alone. The tears poured out and though I wanted to howl like my wolf brethren, I was silent. It didn’t matter. Marcus didn’t need to hear. He could feel my pain.

“
Bella
, don’t cry. Please.” He sat on the bed, his hand on my back. He tried to pull me up.

“Go away.” I pushed at him, not wanting him to see me like this. “Leave me alone, Marcus.”

He was insistent. He pulled me into his arms, his hand cradling my head to his chest. “I can’t. I can’t leave you. Nothing will ever happen with Evangeline. I won’t allow it to. I want you. I want to be with you. I’m sorry for before. I simply can’t stand the thought of losing someone so precious to me. Please forgive me.”

His hands pushed at my sweater, trying to get to my skin. He pulled it off me and tore at his clothes. He pressed his naked flesh to mine and we both sighed at the comfort it brought us. He said nothing further, simply let me cry until I couldn’t anymore. When I settled down, he stroked my hair.

“Can you forgive me,
bella
? I should not have threatened to leave. It was wrong of me.”

“You didn’t threaten, Marcus.” I thought about the plane ticket he’d had Lucia purchase. “You were going to leave.”

“I doubt it. I was already coming up with a thousand excuses to stay. If I wanted to leave, I could have left this evening. I was waiting for you, Kelsey. It was my own stubborn pride that kept me from returning to your uncle’s. I thought that I could force you to see things my way. I do not want you to go on this mission.”

“I have to.” The events of this evening had proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

“I know how you feel, but I wish you would listen to me. Abbas Hiberna is incredibly dangerous. He’s an elemental. There are only four elementals in all the world. Do you understand what that means? The stories say no one but another demon can kill an elemental. He won’t fear you, even when he realizes what you are. I’m scared for you,
cara mia
.”

“I’m scared for me, too. But I have to do this.” I was resolute. Even if it meant losing him, I was meeting Gray tomorrow.

Marcus settled down beside me. His hands traced the lines of my body, but there was more comfort in the caress than intent. “I will stand beside you. I will help in any way I can, but you must promise me one thing.”

I smiled in the darkness. “What’s that?”

“You’ll break your date with that werewolf.”

He sounded so serious I laughed. “I promise, though it wasn’t exactly a date. He offered to let me run with the pack.”

Marcus’s voice was tight and filled with cynicism. “Yes, I’m sure that was all he had planned. He can find his own mate. He should leave mine alone. Now, do you want to tell me why I smell blood on you?”

I did, actually. I snuggled close and told him about my night.

Chapter Seventeen