Addicted: A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance (23 page)

"Thank you," I said, smiling. "Just to let you know, Kimberly called me during my break. She told me about your conversation. Regardless of the result, I know your intent was in the right place."

"Thank you," Julian said, reaching out and taking my hand. "Secondly . . . you cook one mean ass steak. Best I've ever had in my life."

His compliment made me blush, and my smile spread into a grin. "Okay, okay, you're forgiven. Now, are you going to tell me what you loaded up or am I going to be forced into hitting the play button myself?"

"Just a moment," Julian said, getting up from the couch. He rushed into the kitchen area before returning, carrying two bowls. From my sitting position on the couch I couldn't see what they were. "I wish I could take the credit for these, but as you know I can't cook much at all, I’ll admit I ordered delivery. I figured you'd had dinner at the restaurant, so I just got us some dessert."

He handed me my bowl, along with a spoon. "I don't know if it's up to Michelin star standard, but I've got a weakness for tiramisu. This place about a mile away delivered, and so I got us a tiramisu and a panna cotta. So anyway, as to what I loaded. I thought about it, and I realized as much as a movie would be fun, you'd probably be too tired. I thought instead about your upcoming TV appearance, and loaded this instead."

He hit the play button, and I was immediately taken back as the theme from
Backdraft
played over the speakers. "You loaded the original
Iron Chef
? Awesome!"

It was even more than awesome. Julian had chosen with quite a bit of forethought, choosing an episode that featured the first woman to defeat one of the Japanese Iron Chefs. As the cooking progressed, we both enjoyed our dessert, and afterwards leaned back to relax, my sweet tooth satisfied.

What happened next felt strangely natural to me. With exhaustion overtaking me, I leaned over, relaxing against Julian's arm, until he lifted his arm around my shoulder. It was warm and comfortable there for sure, and there was an unmistakably masculine aura. I leaned in and relaxed, letting my head rest against his body, feeling the light tingles of arousal begin to work their way through my body. I could hear Julian's heart through the thin cotton of his shirt, and by the time the final credits played, my body moved on its own. Scooting up, I turned towards him, our eyes meeting before we started leaning in, our lips parting.

When our foreheads touched however, Julian suddenly stopped, and pushed himself backwards. "No . . . I, I can't. I'm sorry Krystal, I just can't."

He got up off the couch and almost fled to his room. I sat there in the glow of the computer screen until his screen saver kicked in before pushing off the sofa and heading for my bedroom. I paused in the middle of the living room, thinking of going to Julian's room, but I decided to get some shut eye instead. Maybe the light of day would make things feel less weird.

Twenty minutes later however, I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. My body just wouldn't calm down, and I knew what it wanted. It had been a long time, too long really, since I'd had a man share my bed, and the last one had been pretty so-so. Lying on the sofa against Julian, my body was reminding me that while my culinary career was skyrocketing, my love life was going down in flames. It ached for intimacy, it needed release.

But he was my stepbrother! I mean, Mom and John are some pretty open-minded people, but could they understand
that?
Besides that, Julian's reputation, and the fact he had been pretty much an asshole for most of his life were not in his favor. Then again, it was hard not to be drawn to his body.

It was a hell of a time for my memory to start arguing with me.
His intentions were good this time . . . Don't tell me he doesn't push some buttons physically for you . . . if I didn't know better, he sounded like he has a crush on you, babe . . .

Finally, my body's need took over from my logical mind. I mean, what harm was there in some fantasy, right? I let my hand drift over my breasts, and my thighs parted just a bit under my blanket. I normally wear only a t-shirt and panties to bed, and my nipples were already tingling when my fingers brushed over them through the t-shirt. I bit my lip to contain the moan I wanted to make, knowing that while my apartment may have been larger than most of the ones in my building, it wasn't that far from my room to where I knew Julian was sleeping, all two hundred and ten solid pounds of him. My memory kicked in again to that first night we'd met, and I'd come into his room at Castelbon Manor, waking him up from his nap. His cock had been stiff under his shorts, and looked huge, massive and thick. The idea of such a cock against my body, or better yet inside me, sent warm heat through my thighs, to center on my rapidly moistening pussy. Thinking of what he could do to me with that massive cock of his had me hotter than I’d ever been in my life.

I stroked and cupped my breasts, letting my fingers massage the large mounds. I've always been proud of them, they're one of my best features, with light brown nipples that come up to tips about the size of a pencil eraser. Lifting my t-shirt, I freed them to the cool night air, both of them hard and needing some release. I bent my head down and sucked on my own nipple, licking and scraping my teeth around the firm button. In my mind, it was Julian sucking and kneading my nipple, sending electric sparks shooting from my breasts to gather at my stomach. I kept it up until I had to throw my head back, sucking in air deeply to avoid making any other noise. My hands took over on their own, reaching down and rubbing the panty covered wetness.

Rubbing in small circles, I let my first three fingers play over the cotton of my panties. Yes, I'm a good girl and I wear cotton panties most of the time, okay? The cotton clung to my lips as the moisture soaked in, and I could feel delicious amounts of friction with every rotation of my fingers. I was getting close to climaxing, and I hadn't even penetrated myself yet. Pulling my hand back, I took another hopefully quiet breath before pushing my panties down to my ankles.

Letting my knees splay apart, in my mind I could see Julian between my legs, smiling at me with a look that was a lot like his cocky grin he'd shown me so many times before, but this time different. The asshole was gone, and the cockiness was just a simple mix of eagerness, affection, and confidence that he could make me feel like heaven itself was coming through for me. His fingers slipped easily into my wet folds, stroking up and down while I writhed on the bed. When two fingers plunged into my tight pussy itself, my eyes shot open, staring unseen at the white ceiling above my bed. The fingers worked in and out, slowly pumping and building inside me, curling a bit to rub against my g-spot as they did. No man had ever touched me so well, and tears trickled from the corners of my eyes as I mouthed Julian's name over and over into the darkness. When another hand came up to stroke my clit, I almost screamed, holding back the sound only through sheer force of will and the fact most of my breath had been driven out of me.

My pussy was pleasured like this, with two fingers inside me while another one stroked my clit, until I could feel the wetness pooling on the sheets underneath my rising and falling hips. I couldn't take much more, and I squeezed my eyes shut, begging my fantasy Julian to release me from the torture I was in. He grinned and leaned forward, his long, perfectly pink tongue coming out to lick my clit one final time, and I exploded. My head slammed over and over into my pillow as my body quaked through a long denied and much needed climax, the sensations so strong and so hard that I could almost hear and feel Julian's body pressed against mine as he held me, whispering in my ear that he would be the one for me.

My fantasy evaporated as my orgasm faded away, and I was left with a satiated body but a burning need in my heart. I swallowed a soft sob as I put a new set of panties on and dropped off to sleep, whispering Julian's name into my pillow as I felt the darkness overtake me.

I
could hear
Krystal tossing and turning on the bed after I left for my room, ashamed. It wasn't that I didn't want her. At that moment, I wanted her more than life itself. If God above himself opened up the heavens and told me I could have the world, or I could have Krystal, I know what my choice would be.

But as I was there on the couch with her, so close, I could hear the little devil inside me, the asshole who wanted to destroy Krystal just to get back at Johnathan Castelbon, giggle in glee. It froze me, and my desire and need turned into a horrified revulsion. It wasn't Krystal I was repulsed by, it was that I was disgusted by myself.

I saw in my mind all the women I'd just fucked and tossed away, starting with my math tutor when I was in high school, all the way to Cindy/Candy/ah hell I never did get her name in LA. I saw all the dumb ass times I'd gotten drunk, started fights, and basically was a worthless piece of shit with a large bank account.

As those images flashed in my mind, I thought about what I'd seen of Krystal in just the short time I'd known her. I saw a woman who was not only beautiful, but intelligent, classy, and knew who she was and where she was going. She was going places, places someone like me could never take her, and to ruin that would be a crime greater than anything John Castelbon ever did to my mother.

I heard a soft shift in the sounds of Krystal tossing in bed, and the squeak of her bed frame took on a rhythmic cadence that I knew all too well. Inside I cursed myself as I listened, my cock hardening in my pants as I realized what she was doing. Krystal, the woman who was perfect in every way to me, was laying less than fifty feet away, in a dark room, touching her beautiful body. I clamped down on my lust with steely resolve, determined not to touch myself and spoil such a beautiful thing, but I couldn't stop my ears from listening as the pace increased, and then I heard something that tore deep into my soul, exploding something inside that I didn't know had ever existed. "J . . . iaaannnn."

It had been soft; probably so soft she hadn't even realized she'd made the sound as her orgasm distracted her. But one of the things I am blessed with is very good hearing, and I could hear. I could hear the wet, slick sounds of her fingers doing what I wanted to do oh so badly, and the hitch in her breath as she froze, unable to take any more before her breath came out in a long, almost silent shudder. Still I sat on my bed, refusing to touch my cock despite what my body wanted, until I heard the soft snores coming from her room that told me she was asleep.

That one word. It told me everything. If I gave in to my inner devil, I could destroy her. I could destroy her mother, Sandra, I could destroy her marriage to John Castelbon, I could destroy the man who was my father. Utter and complete victory could be mine. Vengeance could be mine.

But to do it, I'd be hurting an innocent woman, a beautiful work of art, the kind from the heavens that blessed humanity once a century. If hurting my mother made John Castelbon a criminal in my eyes, what would hurting Krystal Aksoy make me? If his crime would be like someone spray painting graffiti on a building, hurting Krystal would be like tearing the Mona Lisa to pieces and then pissing on the scraps.

But if I could resist my inner devil, then perhaps I could do more than just avoid hurting Krystal. There was a chance, maybe a fool's chance, but still a chance, for not just happiness, but perhaps redemption. If I could give myself fully to this woman, maybe when my end came and I had to stand before the seat of judgment, that one good thing could help cancel out the ticket to hell I'd bought with the past twenty years of my life.

Tears trickled down my face as I thought of what a selfish, worthless asshole I'd been, the people I'd hurt. I was my own prosecutor, judge, and jury as I convicted myself over and over for the next four hours, my hands shaking and my breath shuddering as I thought about how much I'd fucked up my life.

Just as the sky was starting to turn gray with the beginning of dawn, a new thought came to me. Something Kimberly had said to me on the phone, when I'd called her to ask about Krystal's whereabouts. "Offer her something more than money," I whispered to myself, looking out the window and into the early morning sky. There were still a few stars out there, and I thought for a second. "But what can I offer?"

"
S
o
, you have the security code for the front door, right?" I asked, shouldering my bag. I was only going to be gone three days, and didn't pack heavy, just a gym bag. Inside I had my work uniform from Alinea, a casual change of clothes, and some sleep clothes and my toiletries. I didn't plan on needing much else. I figured if I really needed, I'd go shopping in New York. I hadn't been there in a long time, and might have enjoyed some shopping.

"I've got the code, I've got the key you made me, it's right here," Julian said, patting his right pocket. "Relax, Krystal. Your apartment is still going to be here in one piece, and I promise, I'll stay out of trouble."

I rolled my eyes and looked askance at him. "You really have been keeping yourself out of trouble recently. What gives?"

"I don't know," Julian said. "Maybe you're rubbing off on me, teaching me to be a better person."

His answer touched me, and I had to shake my head. Since our late night video where we almost ended up kissing, things had definitely been different between us. There was a sort of invisible tension, something that both of us wanted to say but neither of us were willing to do. Julian showed it in little things, like waking up earlier and helping out around the apartment more. I hadn't had to clean a dish or wipe down a toilet in a week, although I didn't know what his own bathroom looked like. "Julian, you know, I was wrong about you," I finally said, biting my lip. "I thought you were a bad guy, and I guess you have been for a time in your life, but it seems you've turned a corner."

Julian shook his head sadly and looked down into my eyes. His blue eyes hid something, and I felt once again the crazy urge I'd had for most of the past week to reach up and kiss him. "I'm not there yet, Krystal," he said softly, "but I’m working on it.”