Addicted (A Billionaire Romance Novel) (14 page)

As soon as she got off work that morning, she went straight home and smoked some more heroin. It felt good; the rush that you take your first few hits. It was like meeting up with your greatest friend in the entire world, and there was nothing to break them apart. Her phone suddenly rang, startling her on the couch. She didn’t regularly receive phone calls at that time of morning. When she rolled over to answer the phone, she saw that it was Chad; and it wasn’t morning, it was afternoon. He was on his lunch break.
 

“Hello?” she answered the phone annoyed.
 

“Hey, Audrey, I know that you’re probably still mad at me, but….”
 

She cut him off and began yelling at him.
 

“I am! What do you want?”
 

“I was calling to see if you’d heard the message that I left on your voicemail. I’m really sorry.”
 

“Chad, I don’t want to talk to you right now. Remember when I told you that I almost relapsed?”
 

“Yeah?” he asked, holding his breath as he expected to the worst.
 

“Well, I’m almost at my breaking point,” she snapped, still hiding the fact that she was already using. “Right now, I need you to stop it. Stop everything! I can’t keep doing this with you, Chad.”
 

“Doing what?” he asked, oblivious as to what she was referring to.
 

“I can’t keep chasing you! I’m not going to hope and wait for you. I’ve done it before, but I’m not doing it now.”
 

“Audrey, I don’t know….”
 

The phone went silent. He knew he messed up, but her sudden rage and hostility let him know that he took things to a whole new level. Unsure of what he should do next, he figured the best thing would be to give her some time and space. With a little time, she’ll be able to think things over and realize that I’m not a bad guy; I was ashamed and didn’t know how to handle the situation. And hopefully, with some space, she won’t feel as though I’m breathing down her neck.
 

Over the course of the next few days, Audrey was stunned when her phone was silent. No calls or text messages. Yep, she told herself, this is probably it. It’s the end; I just know it. That little weasel is probably out right now, reconciling with his baby’s momma. I can picture it. “Oh, baby momma, please, let’s be a family. I dumped that worthless girlfriend of mine.” I should’ve asked him what her name was. Knowing him, I probably know her. Nah, I probably wouldn’t. He’s high society, I wouldn’t know anyone in his circle of friends. Come to think of it, that actually raises another very interesting fact. He’s never introduced me to any of his buddies, family or colleagues.
 

On the morning of Alex’s death anniversary, she used a sick day at work and went to the cemetery to visit his grave. Clearing it of all the weeds, she reached out and touched his marble
headstone. Tracing the letters and numbers with her finger, she realized how much she had missed him since he died. Feeling isolated, she began hoping for bad things to happen. Maybe I’ll get into a car accident of my own when I leave here; then I can join my baby and see him on the other side. As these morbid thoughts entered her mind, she unknowingly planning her own funeral. She pictured a wooden coffin displaying her body as only her parents and sisters attended the funeral. Wondering if anyone else would even come, she tried to think of who else would come to her funeral. Haley, her coworker, probably would, she thought.
 

There’s no point in living anymore. Who am I living for? Alex is gone; his tiny body lies beneath me, the grass that I’m sitting on. If I were going to kill myself, how would I do it? Realizing that she was contemplating suicide, she began to wonder if
it hurts when you die. What does your last breath feel like? As she started to answer some of these questions, she made a decision. She would be better off with her son than on this planet called Earth.
 

“I love you, baby. Mommy will see you soon,” she whispered to his grave as she kissed her fingers and touched his headstone.
 

On her way home from the burial grounds, she deliberated how she would take her own life. A car accident was out of the question. That was how Alex died, and it was horrible to see his smashed, bruised body; she didn’t want to put her parents through that. She didn’t have any pills that were strong enough to do the job unless she swallowed a bottle or two of over-the-counter medication. That would take too much time. She supposed she could set a house fire, but she wanted her family
to be able to have some of her things as keepsakes. That’s when it hit her; she could give herself a lethal dose of heroin and drift asleep, never to wake up again.
 

Pulling up in front of her dealer’s house, she jumped out of the car and ran up to his door. Making a quick deal, she spent most of the money she had and bought what she needed. After she had her supply on hand, she knew she wouldn’t be able to smoke a lethal dose. It was impossible. She’d pass out before she could do it all. No, she would have to mainline it. Her next stop was at her local pharmacy. Once she was there, she marched into the store on a determined mission. Impatiently, she waited in line and asked the pharmacist for a pack of needles. The white-haired man suspiciously eyed her as he reached behind him to grab the box.
 

“My sister’s diabetic and she asked me to pick some up for her on my way to her house,” she lied to the man.
 

He nodded as he rang up the needles and gave her the total. After she had paid with the last of the money she had remaining, she swiped the pack off the counter and got back to her car. She sat in the parking lot for almost a half an hour as she realized this would be her last stop, besides home, that she’d ever see in her life again. Most of the day had been a whirlwind, but now, time seemed to stand still. As she sat in her car, she observed a mother and her son walking into the store, hand-in-hand. She felt a sharp jab in her chest.
 

“That would’ve been Alex holding my hand if he were still here,” she whispered to herself as she clutched her heart.
 

Unable to sit there any longer, she turned the key in her ignition and began heading home. Driving through town, she popped in one of her favorite CD’s, which was a compilation of various songs that she’d downloaded. The song she chose to play, which would be the last one she’d ever hear was the most appropriate one from the CD: Megadeath, “Use the Man”. The song had ended before she pulled up in front of her house; she listened to the lyrics one last time. As she sang them, tears streamed down her face.
 

“I’ll see you in just a little while, baby,” she whispered up to the sun.
 

As she sat down her purse and keys, her phone began ringing; it was Chad. She ignored the call as she unwrapped the syringe and opened the heroin. Realizing that she needed a plastic spoon
to liquefy the heroin, she began digging through the junk drawer in her kitchen. As she searched for the spoon, her phone continued to ring off the hook. Every time she glanced down at it, she saw Chad’s name displayed on the screen of her cell phone. Finding the spoon that she needed, she grabbed a glass of water and a cotton ball from the bathroom medicine cabinet. Her phone continued to ring as she walked around gathering everything.
 

“Stop calling me!” she screamed into the phone as she broke into tears and hung up on Chad.
 

With the phone steadily ringing, she realized she’d forgotten the rubbing alcohol. She walked back into the bathroom to get the last of the supplies that she would need. Sitting down on the couch, she began to liquefy her dope. Trying to
mix the black tar heroin with water inside the cradle of the spoon, her hands shook as the phone continued ringing in the background.
 

“Oh, I wish he would stop calling me!” she screamed as she used the plunger from the syringe to stir the heroin into a suitable solution.  
 

Finally, the concoction was ready. Her wide eyes beamed at her handy work.
 

“Ahh, welcome back, my friend,” she said as she dropped her cotton ball onto the spoon; allowing it to absorb all of the liquid heroin.
 

Carefully grabbing the syringe, she placed the needle into the center of the cotton ball and began sucking all of the heroin out of the cotton. With her needle completely full, she took off her belt and wrapped it tightly around the top of her arm.
Her old track marks were still slightly visible; she decided that she would use one of them to guide the needle into her vein. Her eyes wickedly stared at the syringe filled with the lethal dose of heroin as she pumped her fists to make her veins stand out. She couldn’t wait to feel that last, final rush; the one that would reunite her with Alex. We can die together on the same day, she thought.
 

As she picked the syringe up off the table, someone began pounding on her door. Afraid it was the police, she tried to quickly replace the orange cap back on the needle, but her front door busted open before she could finish.
 

“Audrey!” Chad called to her, realizing what was in her hand. “Oh, God! No, Audrey, please don’t. Don’t do it,” he pleaded with her.
 

“Get out of here Chad. I’m going to be with my son! I
know
he loves me!” She shouted as she removed the orange cap from the needle.
 

“Please, Audrey. I don’t know what else to do,” he dropped on his knees at her feet. “I can’t apologize more than I already have. I love you, Audrey,” he said as he placed his head on her lap. “Don’t do this to me,” he whispered.
 

It was like someone had flipped a switch; she rapidly blinked for a moment as the words sunk in. “You love me?” she asked.
 

“Yes, Audrey, I love you so much. I know that I fucked up. I know that. But, I also know that you were always the one who got away and we should’ve been together from the start. I’m sorry that we weren’t, and I’m sorry that you suffered so
much. All I can do is promise you that you are my world; you mean everything to me.”
 

The hand holding the needle went limp as she listened to him. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Why hadn’t he told her before? What if it were all lies to stop her from shooting up?
 

“I don’t believe you, Chad,” she said, bringing the needle back up to the bend of her elbow. “I think you’re lying to me again,” she accused him as she grabbed the end of the belt with her teeth, tightening its grip on her arm.
 

“Audrey, I’m not lying! I love you, and only you. I need you!”
 

“You need me?” she snorted. “For what?”
 

“To be with you. Audrey, you’re my world, and I’d be lost in it without you. Please, stay with me. Don’t do this. What do you think Alex would say if he could see you right now? What do you think he would say if you met him in heaven?”
 

She pricked her skin with the needle and began pulling the plunger back to ensure that she was in her vein. As she concentrated on her vein, Chad snatched the needle from her hand.
 

“Give that back! I don’t want to live anymore! I want to die!”
 

“Audrey, why are you saying these things?” he asked, holding the syringe above his head, out of her reach.
 

“Do you know that today is Alex’s death anniversary? The only thing that stands between
me and him is that needle. I don’t have a reason to live anymore.”
 

“Audrey, you’re the love of my life. I’m sorry I’ve waited this long to tell you, but please, believe me,” he said as he grabbed her hand.
 

Staring deep into her eyes, it was like a light came on. Her facial expression changed from anger and frustration to concern and love. Tears welled up in her eyes and began streaming down her cheeks.
 

“Do you mean that?” she whispered.
 

“Yes, baby. I love you very much,” he said, wrapping his arms around her.
 

As they embraced, she broke down. Balling uncontrollably, she nestled her head into his chest as he stroked her hair.
 

“Audrey, I want you to meet Kayla,” he said, pulling away from her to face her.
 

“Who’s Kayla?” she asked, blinking her tears away.
 

“That’s my daughter, but I don’t know how easy it will be for you to meet her,” he sighed as he looked down at the floor.
 

“Why?”
 

He separated himself from her and rested his elbows on his knee, grabbing the sides of his head.
 

“What?” she asked.
 

“All right, I’m going to give it to you straight. Don’t ask me why I did this, because I don’t have a good reason. When I learned that I had a daughter, I went to meet with, Christina, her mother.”
 

“Christina who?” Audrey interrupted.
 

“Christina Porter. Like I was saying, I went to meet her and she asked if I was in a relationship…” he glanced at Audrey for a second and looked away. “I told her that I was single.”