Addicted (Outlaws Book 2) (25 page)

They were heading out soon. Him, Hudson, Pike, Xan… Fuck, Xan. He’d barely spoken a word since – nope, not thinking about that either. He could mourn on the ride back. He could mourn when they put Kade in the ground.

“How many of the others are on board?” he asked Reese.

“Five hundred or so.”

He rubbed the stubble on his jaw. “That’s not enough.”

“There are only two hundred Enforcers in West City,” she pointed out.

“And thousands of citizens —”

“Who can’t defend themselves. At least the bulk of them. If we have enough firepower to take out the Enforcers, the citizens will be left unprotected.”

He shot a quick glance at Sloan, but the man didn’t offer an opinion. His dark eyes remained shuttered.

“You’re talking about starting a war,” Rylan muttered.

“No, I’m talking about stealing some weapons.”

“To start a war.”

His continued reluctance brought a smile to Reese’s lips. “One step at a time, honey.” She pointed to the desk. “First we take care of this. Then we worry about the next step.” Her head tilted. “You’ll run this by Connor?”

“Do I have a choice?”

She shrugged. “You can say no.”

To this woman? Impossible.

Rylan stepped toward her, smiling when he noticed the flare of heat in her expression. He grazed her bottom lip with his fingertips. Now was not the time, he knew that, but if he didn’t forcefully turn his attention away from all the death and focus on something positive, the grief might engulf him.

“I’m going to get you naked one of these days,” he informed her.

Reese’s eyes darted toward Sloan, then back to Rylan. “Maybe.”

“Oh, there’s no maybe about it, gorgeous.” He let that linger in the air for a moment, before his expression grew somber. “I’ll talk to Connor on your behalf, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Didn’t expect you to.”

With a nod, he eased away from her but halted when he reached the doorway. “Reese.”

“Yeah?”

“I
will
fuck you.” He dragged his tongue over his lips. “It’s going to be soon.” He locked his gaze to hers. “And you’re going to love every second of it.”

As he slid out the door, he heard Sloan’s low chuckle echoing behind him.

“You let him go?”
 

Bethany’s shout thundered in the bedroom. It was the first show of emotion she’d displayed since last night, and Jamie was so startled that she dropped the coffee cup she’d been about to give the woman. It crashed to the floor and broke into two pieces, dark liquid staining the weathered wood.

“Shit. I’m sorry. Let me find something to clean this mess —”

“Forget about the mess!” Bethany’s dark eyes flashed. “What do you mean, Lennox is gone? Why didn’t you go with him?”

Jamie was stunned by the question. She hadn’t expected Bethany to be this upset by the news. If anyone should be upset, it was Jamie.

She
was the one who’d watched the taillights of the Jeep disappearing beyond the gate an hour ago.

She
was the one who’d tried one last time to convince Lennox to stay.

She
was the one he hadn’t even kissed good-bye.

God, she couldn’t believe he’d actually left. She’d thought he was bluffing. That he wouldn’t possibly leave her behind and head back to Connor’s camp with the others.
I go where you go
. It was their motto, damn it. The longest they’d ever been apart was a few days, and now he was leaving her in Foxworth for two months? Maybe longer?

But he had to have been bluffing about the ultimatum, right? It wasn’t
really
over between them. It couldn’t be.

“Jamie,” Bethany snapped. “Answer me. Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because…” She gulped. “Because you need me. You…” Another gulp. “You lost Arch, sweetie. You’re having a
baby
. Someone needs to be here to take care of you.”

The woman’s jaw twitched. “I can take care of myself.”

Jamie bit the inside of her cheek. “I know you think that, but —”

“I don’t think it – I
know
it.” Bethany’s ponytail moved in an angry swish as she barreled forward. With her huge belly and awkward steps, she posed the least threatening picture Jamie had ever seen. “I was with Arch for fifteen years, Jamie. You really think he didn’t make sure I could take care of myself in all that time? He taught me how to be strong, damn it. I
am
strong. And I’m going to be strong for our baby, you hear me?”

Jamie opened her mouth, only to get cut off again.

“Last night was rough. It was the worst night of my life.” Bethany curved her palms over her stomach. “But I’ll get through this. I don’t need you to stay here and hold my hand. I’m not going to sit in this room and wither away, all right? Arch would strangle me if I did that. And he’d strangle
you
if he knew you’d stood by and let your man drive out of here.”

She clenched her teeth. “Lennox could have stayed. He
chose
to leave.”

“Then you should’ve gone with him.”

“He didn’t exactly make the idea appealing when he was yelling and giving ultimatums and telling me I don’t value my own life,” Jamie grumbled.

Bethany shook her head in dismay. “Do you realize how rare it is to find a worthy man to love in this world? Lennox has his faults, of course he does. Arch did too. He could be a real asshole sometimes – remind me to tell you about the time he lost his shit at me because I forgot to drop a purifying tablet in the water supply at our last camp. But that’s what men do. They yell and grumble and pound their fists against their chests and do whatever they can to protect their women. And we protect
them
. Trust me, they know that. They
know
they need us, even if they don’t always say it.”

Jamie faltered. “He said it was over between us.”

Bethany snorted. “Sweetie, it’s not over until
we
say it’s over.”

Laughter bubbled in Jamie’s throat but didn’t breach the surface. She was too distraught to laugh. And too confused by the sudden change in her friend. The pale emotionless robot from last night had transformed into a living, breathing woman in front of her eyes.

“I’m going to be okay.” The humor faded as Bethany voiced the soft assurance. “I promise you, I will. But if you stay here in town, I’ll be furious with you. You belong with your man. Life is too short. You need to hold on to Lennox and never let him go.”

Jamie’s heart clenched as she remembered Arch’s heavy body hitting the ground. The bullet hole in his forehead. The blood. Her mind suddenly replaced Arch’s face with Lennox’s, and a wave of agony nearly knocked her over.

Bethany was right. She should’ve thrown herself into the backseat of that Jeep and held on to Lennox for dear life.

She should never have let him go.

“You left her behind?”
 

Hudson’s enraged voice once again blasted over the rumble of the Jeep’s engine. It was the tenth time in the last hour that she’d twisted around in the front seat and hurled the accusation at Lennox, and he was getting tired of hearing it.

What other choice did he have? Stay in Foxworth and wait for the next Enforcer attack? Watch Jamie die in the cross fire?

He couldn’t put himself through this torture anymore. The constant fear that he might lose her. The sheer frustration every time she made a choice that placed her life in danger.

“Why wouldn’t you stay in Foxworth?” Hudson was still railing into him. “She didn’t say she was staying there forever, just until Bethany’s baby is born. You should’ve just stayed behind!”

“I agree.” Rylan’s curt voice came from the driver’s seat. “I have no doubt Reese will keep her safe, but Jamie can be stubborn sometimes. You’re the only person who’s able to talk sense into her when she gets all pissy. Or… well, maybe Beckett can too.” A pause. “I guess Beck can take care of her until she’s ready to come home —”

A growl tore from Lennox’s throat, causing Rylan to stop talking.

“Pull over,” Lennox snapped.

Rylan’s perplexed gaze found Lennox’s in the rearview mirror, but rather than argue, he swiftly steered the Jeep toward the shoulder of the road. A sharp honk of the horn alerted Pike, who was driving a borrowed pickup truck with Kade’s body, and Xander, who was riding up ahead on a motorcycle. Lennox had left his Harley in Foxworth so Jamie would have means of transportation when – 
if?
– she chose to return to camp, but now he regretted not taking his bike, because it was way fucking faster than Xan’s beat-up Ducati.

He was already out of the Jeep before Xander had even come to a complete stop. “What’s going on?” the other man asked warily.

“I need the bike. You can ride in the Jeep.”

Like Rylan, Xander didn’t question the orders. He simply knocked the kickstand down and slid off the Ducati.

A second later, Lennox was straddling the motorcycle.

“Where are you going?” Xander demanded.

“Where do you think?” Then he squeezed the clutch and sped off, because Jesus Christ, he’d already wasted enough time.

The last thing Rylan had said… it had gotten to him.
Until she’s ready to come home
.

Home. He’d told Jamie that building a home was nothing more than a dream. He’d told her it didn’t exist. But he’d been wrong, damn it.

So fucking wrong.

And the fear? It was still there, lodged in his throat like a wad of spoiled food. For more than twenty years his goal – his
only
goal – had been to keep Jamie safe. And he’d left her alone in Foxworth? He was such an idiot. He’d left because he was too scared to lose her, but he’d lost her regardless.

Goddamn idiot.

The urgency to return to Jamie had him speeding faster than he’d normally risk, but he was only thirty minutes into the drive when he heard another engine. His muscles stiffened, fingers tightening around the brakes. Shit. Traveling in the daylight posed the risk of running into Enforcers, but he and the others had been willing to take the chance because they were all eager to get back to camp.

He slowed the Ducati, debating whether to ride out of sight or speed past the oncoming vehicle. As another bike crested over the top of the sloped road, he relaxed. Not Enforcers, then. But that could still be a bandit tearing toward him —

Lennox came to a grinding stop when he glimpsed golden hair streaming out of a black helmet.

Son of a bitch
.

The Harley slowed when its driver caught sight of Lennox. Within seconds, she was off the bike and shrugging the helmet off as she raced toward him.

“What are you doing here?” Lennox asked, his gaze eating up the sight of her.

Jamie’s lips quirked. “I go where you go.”

The joy that soared inside him was so powerful it made him light-headed. With a desperate noise, he yanked her into his arms and hugged her tight enough to make her gasp. Her fists pounded on his shoulders as she tried to ease away from his crushing embrace.

“I can’t breathe, Len.”

“I was wrong,” he blurted in response.

Her big blue eyes peered up at him, and the familiar sight unleashed a rush of warmth in his chest. “No kidding. But just out of curiosity, what do you think you were wrong about?”

“Home,” he said hoarsely.

Jamie frowned. “What?”

“I was wrong when I told you it didn’t exist. It does.” His throat closed up. “But it’s not a house, or a camp, or a fucking town. It’s right
here
.” He reached out and placed his hand over her chest. He felt her steady heartbeat against his palm, the rise and fall of her breasts with every breath she took. “You’re my home, Jamie. It doesn’t matter where we go or what happens. As long as you’re with me, I’m home.”

A wondrous smile stretched across her rosebud mouth. “So you finally figured that out, huh?”

He choked out a laugh. “Took me a while, but… yeah.”

She tilted her head to the side, her long hair falling over one shoulder. “Hey, remember when you called me stupid?”

Remorse fluttered through him. “I shouldn’t have —”

Jamie interrupted him. “Well, you’re the stupid one, Len. You’re a big dumb man who makes big dumb decisions sometimes.” She lifted one eyebrow. “But that’s okay. Want to know why?”

He pressed his lips together to stop another laugh. “Why?”

She offered a cocky grin. “Because I’m here to make sure your stupidity doesn’t get out of line.”

His laughter spilled over. “And I thank my lucky stars for that every day, my love.”

Her breath hitched.

“What?” he demanded.

“You called me your love.”

He frowned. “I always call you that.”

“No. You call me
love
. You call everyone that. But you just said ‘
my
love.’” Jamie beamed at him. “Because you love me.”

An indulgent smile tugged on his lips. “Because I love you,” he concurred.

“Good, because I love you too.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him square on the mouth. “Let’s get back on the road. We’re sitting ducks out here.”

“Where are we going?” he asked gruffly. “Foxworth?”

Jamie shook her head. “Connor’s.” Her voice went soft. “Bethany is doing okay, but I want to go back to Foxworth when the baby is born.”

“
We’ll
go back to Foxworth when the baby is born.”

She hesitated.

“What is it?”

Her expression became even more agitated, which brought a frown to his lips.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

“I…” She bit her lip. “I still want a baby, Len. Not right now, but someday. I haven’t changed my mind about that.”

A lump rose in his throat. “I know.”

Jamie leaned in and rested her forehead against his chin, her breath fluttering over his throat. “I get how dangerous it is. Trust me, I get it. And maybe you were right – maybe it is naive of me to think that I could raise a child in this world.” She pressed her cheek to his chest. “But I can’t let the danger stop me from living my life the way I want to live it. We take a risk every single day just by living outside the city walls. Having a baby is another risk I’m willing to take.”

“I know.”

She lifted her head, a wry smile playing on her lips. “And you can deny it all you want, but I know you want a family too.”

He gulped. She was wrong. He didn’t. He —

“You loved the way we grew up,” she said softly. “You loved all the children running around our camp, and the school lessons, and the games our parents would make up for us. And you loved being a father figure to Randy this month. Don’t tell me you didn’t.”

Lennox swallowed again. She was wrong. He didn’t. He —

He
did
.

Fucking hell.

Jamie’s quiet laughter tickled his collarbone through his shirt. “Yeah, sweetie, I know you as well as you know me.” She touched his cheek in a soothing motion. “You want the same things I do. So stop being afraid. We can have everything we want, as long as we stick together. As long as we protect each other. Love each other.” She brushed her lips over his. “Can you do that for me?”

Emotion flooded his heart. “Anything,” he whispered. “I can do anything for you.”

Her smile was brighter than the sun shining down on them. “Good. Now let’s go.” Before he could blink, she was hurrying toward the Harley. “Race you back?” she called over her shoulder.

Her reckless laughter warmed his heart. Christ. This woman. Just… this woman. She was everything to him. She was his heart, his soul, absolutely
everything
.

And even in this dangerous land, that made him the luckiest man in the world.