Addiction (39 page)

“I did,” he admits, and all I can do is shake my head at him.

“You planned all of this?” My brows pull together. This can’t be happening.

He sighs heavily. “The only thing I planned was to keep you safe. Your house had been broken into and your brother was working for me, an undercover cop. The possibility of you being sucked into my world was high. I was willing to risk you hating me when the truth came out.”

“What about me falling in love with you?” I whisper. “Would you …?”

“It was the only plan I had,” he interrupts me. “It wasn’t a good one, but it’s all I had.” He gives me a smile. That one he knows makes me weak in the knees. The one that makes my heart beat faster. The one that gives me butterflies. “I never intended to fall in love with you. But I did. As I told you earlier, you made me believe I could finally move on from my past. You didn’t numb my pain. You took it away completely. Somewhere along the lines, you became my drug, Taylor. You became the very thing I try to take from others. I get lost in your eyes. I burn from your touch. And I love you with all I have. I know I don’t deserve you, but give me another chance and I will prove to you I can do better. I will be better.” He closes the space between us and wraps his arms around my waist. “I am a man who had sinned. I am a man who knows they come at a cost. And one day, I will have to pay for my sins. And I’d gladly go to hell for this one.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

TAYLOR

The following morning I walk into the kitchen to find Blane and Savannah sitting at the table. They’re laughing and hugging on one another until they spot me. Savannah lets out a little cough and pulls away from him.

“I see you guys have made up.”

Blane snorts. “I could say the same about you. Considering what we heard last night and then again early this morning.” He shudders. “Maybe you can keep it down next time?”

I smile in satisfaction. “Maybe,” I say with a careless shrug. But doubtful. Case fucks like he fights. Ruthless and my body loves it.

“So what do we do now?” Savannah asks, running her hand through her hair. “Just hang out here until when …?”

“I have a few leads. I will make sure it is handled soon.”

We all turn to see Case walking into the kitchen. He stops beside me, places a hand on my lower back and leans down to give me a soft kiss on the forehead. I wanted to be mad at him last night. I wanted to hate him for all the lies and deceit. He had set me up, after all. But  I couldn’t because he was also right. Somewhere along the way, we fell in love.

My heart still breaks for him after what he told me last night. How much loss he’s suffered in such a short amount of time. And I know it must still affect him every day. This life has to take a toll on you.

I turn to face Blane. “Why did you do it in the first place?” I wonder out loud. “You said you went to Case in order to get Dad out of jail. Did you ever stop to think that maybe that is the best place for him?”

“You just don’t get it,” he mumbles.

“Obviously, I don’t,” I say sharply. “Why am I the only one who thinks he’s better in jail than free?” I ask confused.

“I don’t think he deserves to be free,” Case replies to my question.

I eye him with a tilt of my head. “But you are the one who was willing to make the deal.”

“I turned his deal down at first.”

I look at Blane and then back at Case. “Obviously, he talked you into it.”

He shrugs carelessly. “After I thought about it, I realized I would let the little fish go in order to catch the bigger fish.”

What does that even mean? I don’t dare ask. I look back at Blane. “You know making a deal for Dad was like a death sentence? Do you understand what could have happened to you?” His face still bears the bruises from getting his ass kicked the other night.

His eyes narrow on me. “It was the only option I had.”

“Bullshit!” I hiss. “You could have just left him there.”

He grinds his teeth. “When did you become someone who gives up on others?” he demands. He looks over his shoulder at Case and points an angry finger at him. “Hell, sis, you have been fucking Case for a month now and the entire time you thought he was a drug dealer. So you can fall in love with one but you can’t help your dad out when he’s one.” He gives a dark laugh. “Mom would be so disappointed in you.”

When did he turn into Dad and bring Mom up? “Fuck you!” I shout. “Case has saved my life! Twice! He’s never called me in the middle of the night to bail him out of jail. I haven’t gotten a call from the hospital at five in the morning informing me he was so high he passed out and hit a light pole. I haven’t walked in on him passed out cold on the floor. He has protected me. He has been there for me. And he sure as hell doesn’t bring up my mother every single time I tell him no!” I’m so mad that my body is literally shaking. “Let me ask you, Blane. Did you contact Case on your own? Or was it Dad’s idea for you to put your life in danger to save his own ass?” I demand.

“I knew I could get the job done.” He snorts.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” I snap. Looking over at Case, I ask, “Did he contact you on his own, or did my father contact you and offer up his son?”

Blane looks over at Case and narrows his eyes. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” Case says slowly.

“How so?” I demand.

“Blane called me because I was the one who put your dad in jail in the first place,” Case announces.

“Excuse me?” I ask stupidly.

Blane places his face in his hands and lets out a sigh while Case continues to talk. “I was in Pekin taking care of some business when a car ran across the center median and almost hit me head-on. I swerved out of the way, and he hit a tree when his car ran off the road. I pulled him out of the car and called it in. I put him in handcuffs and waited until an officer arrived to take him in. The car wasn’t registered to him, and when we searched it, there were drugs in the car and several loaded guns within reach of the driver’s seat.”

I feel tears start to sting my eyes as I look over to Blane. “Guns?” I rasp. “What are you gonna do when he kills someone, Blane?”

“He’s suffered loss, Taylor,” he replies softly.

I look back at Case. No one in this room understands the loss he has suffered, not even me. I may be the only who knows, but that doesn’t mean I understand what he went through. “That gives him no reason to put others in danger,” I reply.

“That’s why I’m trying to save him.”

“You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved,” I say slamming my fist on the table. God, it’s like talking to a brick wall. “He’s never gonna change, Blane. We were only kids when Mom died,” I say a little softer. “He wasn’t there for me. You were. He wasn’t there for you. You had to be. It’s been nine years, and you still have to pick up his mess.” I shake my head.

He looks up at me, and his blue eyes shine with unshed tears. “I would never give up on you, Taylor. Never!”

I place my head in my hands and let out a shaky breath. “When he called me that night, he told me the drugs they found weren’t his,” I say not even replying to that because he knows I wouldn’t even get myself in that situation. So it’s irrelevant.

“His prints were all over the bags of drugs and the guns,” Case informs me. “Even if they weren’t his, he still handled them.”

I look at him in thought. “Why didn’t you let him out? Let him do the job Blane volunteered to do?” I wonder.

“It was too late for that,” Case answers. “He had been in jail for three days by the time he called you. Word of him being arrested had already spread like wildfire to everyone he sells and buys from. If we had let him out, they would have known it was to make a deal with the police. And even if we could have agreed to do that, it wouldn’t have worked because he’s too much of an addict. Three days without a hit …” He shrugs. “He would have put his addiction before any deal he would have made with us.”

I sigh as I run a hand through my hair frustrated. “So now what?” I look at Blane. “What are you going to do?”

“What I promised Dad I would do. I’m gonna get the guy Case wants in exchange for Dad’s release.”

“No, you’re not,” Case says flatly.

We all look over at him. “And why not?” Blane demands.

“Because the deal is over,” Case replies, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me as he says it.

My brother stands from his chair across from me and turns to face Case. “We had a deal. You cannot just go back on it whenever you want,” he snaps.

“I can.” Case leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest and his eyes move to him. “They know you work for me. They don’t know I’m an undercover cop. But I didn’t spend the last five years of my life pretending to be a drug dealer for nothing. They know you’re not buying in order to supply your addiction. They know who Taylor is.” He looks over at me quickly before looking back at Blane. “They shot up my club, and my partner and longtime best friend is in the hospital with a bullet wound. The deal is off.”

“They know who Taylor is because you fucked her,” my brother growls in response.

“Maybe. But I told you that first night you brought her to my club that you could not protect her, but I could. And that’s why I got close to her in the first place.”

I flinch at how cold he makes getting with me sound. That may have been how it started, but that’s not how he feels now. I don’t need him to declare our love to anyone else to know the truth.

He sighs heavily as he runs his hand through his dark hair. “It wouldn’t matter anyway. The situation has been compromised.”

“How so?” Blane demands.

Case looks over at me, and his eyes soften. “It doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head. “The deal is over and that is final.”

All this started because of my father. Back when my mother passed. Maybe it’s time I stand in front of him and make him tell me why he has decided to screw up our lives. I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to be so addicted to something that you give up the people who love and would support you. “I want to go see him,” I blurt out.

Everyone turns to face me. “Taylor …” Case softens his tone.

I hold up my hand to stop him, and I look at Blane. “You obviously think I’m a cold-hearted bitch.” He rolls his eyes. “But I want to see what he has to say. He’s been in there for over four months now, so maybe he will change his mind. Maybe he no longer wants you to risk your life for his.” I can hope.

“That’s not how things work.” Case speaks. “Blane may be willing to risk his life for your father, but I’m not willing to risk yours in order to see him. If someone were to see you up there visiting with him, it could bring you trouble.”

My heart skips a beat at that, and I turn to look at him. I want to smile at him, but instead, I say, “I’m going to see my father, Case. Can you make that easier for me or not?”

He looks at me for a very long second before he finally nods his head and pushes away from the countertop. I watch him walk out of the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. I take a deep breath as I follow him.

CASE

“This is a bad idea,” I say softly. As far as I know, she hasn’t physically seen her father in three years. Not since she left her hometown to come to Chicago for college. And even then, I’m not sure how they left things. I do know she only hears from him when he needs help, so I’m guessing it wasn’t pleasant.

“It’s the only idea I have,” she says without looking at me as she walks past to enter the bathroom.

I reach out, grab her upper arm, and bring her to a stop. “You don’t have to do this.” I reach up and push a few long brown strands behind her ear. “I can see what I can do to get him out,” I tell her. But in all honesty, I agree with her. People like her father are best in jail. Where they are unable to harm themselves or put other people in danger. “Seeing him won’t make it better for you.”

“No,” she agrees with a sigh. She looks around the room for a second then her eyes return to mine. “When I was younger, I remember waking up in the middle of the night, and one time I found him dancing in the kitchen with my mother as she hummed a song. He spun her around and pulled her close to him. As he looked over her shoulder, he spotted me standing there and staring. He winked at me, letting me know he wasn’t gonna tell on me for being up and out of bed so late. There was always this light in his eyes when he was with her.” She hangs his head. “I keep telling myself it would return if he could just stay off the drugs. I wanna know if it’s there. I wanna know that there is hope left.” Her eyes fill with tears. “I did give up on him. And I’m not proud of that, but at some point, you have to give up, no matter how much you don’t want to,” she finishes softly.

I lift my other hand and place it on her cheek. I have seen this kind of situation more times than I can count, and I can tell you exactly how it’s gonna play out. She’s not gonna find what she’s looking for, but like she said, she needs to see it for herself.

I lower my lips to hers and give her a soft kiss. “I understand,” I whisper. “I will do anything you want in order for you to get your answers.”

“Thank you, baby,” she says softly. “Can I ask you a question?” I’m not sure if there’s anything else for me to tell her that I didn’t admit last night, so I nod. “Why did you say the situation has been compromised?” she asks tilting her head to the side.

I play with a few blue and dark strands of hair between my fingers. “I slept with you.” And it was worth it.

Her eyes widen. “How could that compromise what you and Blane were doing?”

“I told you I broke every rule I had for you. That’s a rule. In a case like this, I have to testify in order to convict the man that I had Blane setting up. Sleeping with you …” I let go of her hair and place my hand on her soft face. “… it compromised my integrity.”

She lowers her eyes down to my chest as it rises and falls quickly. Slowly, she looks back up at me through long dark lashes. “Why would you do that for me?” she asks softly.

I cup her face with my other hand as well. “Why wouldn’t I?” I say in all honesty. “You became my drug.” I inhale her scent and vanilla fills my nose making my cock grow behind my sweatpants. “You were like that one last hit a stoner craves.” I slide my right hand back into her hair and grip it tightly. She whimpers as her eyelids get heavy. “You consumed my every thought.” My other hand lets go of her face and pulls up the hem of her shirt, allowing my hand to slide up her flat stomach. Her skin is soft and warm. “I craved you in a way that would make any man walk through fire.” My hand travels higher until I cup her breast. “You are my addiction, Taylor.” I pull her head back, and it thuds when it hits the wall. Her heavy eyes shut, and her lips part on a gasp. I lower my lips and capture hers, giving her a rough kiss. Her sweet taste mixes with mine, and just as I said, she gets me high. My senses go on high alert. All I feel is her body pressing against mine. All I hear are her gasps and moans. All I can think of is lying her down and burying myself deep inside of her. When I pull away, we’re both breathing heavy. I wait for her to recover and look up at me. “I fell for you because, somewhere along the way, I realized you were worth it,” I whisper.