AdonisinTexas (14 page)

“Why don’t we step into your shop?” Ryan suggested. He took
her by the elbow and guided her across the street.

She unlocked the door and they moved inside, Ryan setting
the deadbolt behind them.

He told her, “You should sit. Your face has turned ghostly
white.”

“Of course it has. These guys are now armed, Ryan. And
you’re going after them.”

“I’ve got my gun.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to stop
her.

“I know that disturbs you, and I’m sorry. But the sheriff
and I have already discussed this and he wants me carrying my 9mm. I want to as
well, truth be told. Especially when dealing with these particular criminals.”

Ginger’s stomach twisted further, along with her heart. She
said, “I was going to tell you I agree you should carry a gun. It occurred to
me when I was speaking with Lydia. I want you to protect yourself. But, Ryan…”
Her voice trailed off. She could barely breathe, her chest constricted so
harshly. Yet she managed to add, “Now that this has become a reality—not just
something we’ve debated in theory—I’m torn again about what you’re choosing to
do for a living.”

He gripped her shoulders and stared down at her. “I’m going
to be fine. I don’t want you worrying about me.”

“How can I not?” she insisted. “You might have training and
tenacity on your side, but you’ve never dealt with dangerous criminals before,
Ryan. This isn’t an exercise at a policy academy—this is real life!”

The hazardous situation sent a tremor of fear through her
body.

“This is my job, Ginger.”

“I’m not saying I doubt your abilities, but there’s no
telling what these guys are willing to do to get away with the robberies. They
could kill someone with that .357 magnum. It could be you.”

The tremor turned into full-on quaking. Ryan pulled her to
him and held her in a firm embrace.

“Ginger,” he whispered against her hair. “I don’t want you
to be scared. I’ll be fine. I’ll be careful. You have to believe that.”

She shook her head. Tears sprang to her eyes. “I can’t do
this. I can’t even begin to imagine how horrific it would be if anything
happened to you. I just… I can’t do this, Ryan.”

Anxiety built so quickly, she started to hyperventilate.

Ryan released her and clasped her shoulders again. With a
deadly serious look on his face, he said, “Take a few breaths.”

She did, and though it helped to get the oxygen flowing
almost normally again, it did nothing to soothe her jangled nerves.

“Now,” he continued. “I need you to go across the street to
the diner. Jack and George will be there, and Liza, Jess and Reese are joining
them. I want you to stay there, with your friends, until I come back for you.”

She shook her head again and he let out a low growl.

“Damn it, Ginger, don’t make me worry about you while I’m
trying to help the sheriff. And don’t make me agonize over whether you’re
calling it off between us. Just do as I ask,
please
.”

His beautiful blue eyes bore into her, imploring her to
trust him and to do as he requested.

Of course the last thing Ginger wanted was to be an
obstacle. To present any sort of impediment in such a dire situation.

So she said, “I’ll go. But once this is over—”

“Let’s save that conversation for later. I’ve got to go.” He
kissed her on the top of the head, then released her and turned toward the
door. He stopped short of it, however, and glanced at her over his shoulder.
“Get whatever you need from here and go to the diner,” he repeated. “Quickly.”

“I will,” she said as tears slid down her flushed cheeks. “I
promise. But you have to promise me you’ll be careful. And that you’ll come
back.”

He grinned at her, though it was a tight one. “I do
promise.”

She stared after him as the door closed behind him. Then she
looked around her store, thinking it was once the only dream she’d ever had for
herself. But her new dream had become a life with Ryan. And just like her store
when Lydia had set it ablaze, her dream was once again in jeopardy.

As her gaze landed on the ridiculously huge ensemble of
flowers Jess had created for her upon Ryan’s request, the bell over her door
jingled. Ginger started and her head whipped in that direction.

She gasped, instantly taken aback as Lydia entered.

“What on earth are you doing here?” she asked the reverend’s
wife.

Wearing a contrite expression, Lydia said, “Jonathan and I
are joining the others across the street. I saw Ryan leave and you didn’t come
out, so I just… Well, of course I know you must be distraught over the news and
the manhunt. I came to get you.”

More tears streamed down Ginger’s hot cheeks. She swiped at
them with shaky fingers, but they continued to flow. “I don’t know what to do.
I know you don’t abide or understand this, Lydia, but I love him. And I
honestly couldn’t take it if anything happened to him.”

Surprisingly, the reverend’s wife wrapped her arms around
Ginger and held her as she wept. Lydia smoothed a hand down her hair and then
patted her back softly, maternally. She said, “This is difficult for all of us.
But Jonathan was right when he said it was Ryan’s choice. We have to trust in
the skills he’s learned and his natural instincts. And, Ginger, he won’t be
alone.”

A new realization seemed to dawn on Ryan’s aunt, because
Lydia pulled away, her hands clasping Ginger’s biceps. “Is he armed?”

With a nod, Ginger said, “I’m sure Sheriff Johnson insisted
and Ryan agreed.”

Relief washed over Lydia’s face. “That’s a comfort. Now let
me get you some tissues.”

She began to make her way to the cashier’s desk, but pulled
up short and eyed a nightgown hanging on a rack. Lifting the hanger from the
display, she turned back to Ginger, an incredulous look on her face. “This is
the same nightgown I buy at a department store in Austin.”

It was a simple, full-length one made of seafoam-dyed
cotton, with wide satin straps and matching trim around the modest neckline.

Ginger sniffled, then said, “I carry a variety of styles to
appeal to a wide range of tastes. The mayor’s wife likes that one too.”

Perplexed, and obviously stunned, Lydia mumbled, “I didn’t
realize. Nor did I know it came in colors. The store in Austin only carries
white.”

Getting her own tissues, since Lydia had abandoned that
mission, Ginger dabbed at her eyes and cheeks. “I also have it in baby blue,
peach, mauve, lilac and daffodil.”

Lydia seemed to process this for a moment as she took in the
entire boutique, quite possibly with a new perspective. Finally, her gaze
landed on Ginger again and she said, “There are actually some very pretty items
in here.”

With a proud smile, Ginger said, “Yes. And my customers like
what I have to offer.
Tasteful
women like what I have to offer, Lydia.
Wearing lingerie doesn’t make one a slut.”

“I suppose I’ve acted as though it does.” She selected more
of the nightgowns she favored, one in every color. Carrying them over to the
cashier’s desk, she laid them across the wide wooded top and said, “Why don’t
you wrap these up for me? Save me a trip to Austin. And about eight dollars per
nightgown.”

“I have less overhead than department stores,” she said
before blowing her nose.

“I’m sure your customers appreciate the prices.”

Ginger let out a soft laugh, despite the tension she still
felt over the situation with Ryan. “You’re about to become one of my customers.
Are you sure you want that?”

Lydia crossed her arms over her chest and said, “I have been
ogre, I know. But, Ginger…” Her visage and her stance suddenly changed. She let
out a long sigh and turned away as her arms fell to her sides. “I don’t want
the young, single women in Wilder following in my shoes.”

Ginger’s brows knitted. That was the absolute last thing
she’d expected the reverend’s wife to say. “Explain that further,” she
requested, as Lydia had done earlier in her salon.

As the other woman’s fingers skimmed over a pair of satin
panties, she said, “I used to enjoy wearing delicate, pretty things like this.
Made me feel attractive. Alluring, even. Jonathan would say it softened me.
Lord knew, I turned into a stiff, regimented reverend’s wife. Even Jack said
so, that terrible day I knocked over the candles in your shop.” She turned back
to Ginger and added, “He was the best friend I’d ever had and I alienated him.
Almost put him out of business too, because I was the one to drive Jonathan to
push for the ban on alcohol on Sundays.”

“Hard for a saloon to survive in that paradigm.”

“Yes, though I truly hadn’t put much thought into how it
would impact Jack’s business. I thought I was doing the right thing, advocating
for God, so to speak.”

“Not everyone has to believe in what you believe in, Lydia.
Diversity and varying opinions are good things. A lot of success stories have
happened in this town because of open-minded views, whereas a number of bad
things have happened because of narrow-mindedness.”

Lydia gave this some thought, then squared her shoulders and
said, “I know I’ve been self-righteous, but I don’t want other’s making my
mistakes.”

“What mistakes are those?”

Swallowing hard, she confessed, “I had pre-marital sex when
I was just eighteen years old. I fell for a boy who was in town for bible
study. He didn’t talk me into anything—I knew what I was doing. I got pregnant.
He didn’t feel about me the way I felt for him and he wanted nothing to do with
the baby.”

Ginger sank into her chair, the wind knocked out of her. She
merely stared at Lydia, not saying a word, letting the reverend’s wife continue
with her admission.

“I was humiliated and scared, of course, but determined to
have the baby. I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to give my child the sort of
love and affection I’d never received from my own parents. I grew up in a very
hostile environment,” she said with a shudder. “And I wanted to create a loving
home for my own family.”

“I had no idea,” Ginger said. “I’m so sorry.”

With a wave of her hand, Lydia added, “That’s not something
anyone in town talks about, because I pretty much kept it under wraps. Jack
knew, however. And when he found out I was going to have a baby and there was
no father to stand up and take responsibility, Jack converted the boathouse on
his parents’ property into a cottage so I could live there and raise my child.
He even offered to help me. Marry me.”

A tear pooled in Lydia’s eye and it tugged at Ginger’s
heart. Her nemesis had a very disturbing past, and Ginger could see the shame,
guilt and sadness she’d harbored all this time.

Standing, Ginger pulled a few tissues from the box and
handed them to Lydia. “What happened after that?”

“I had a miscarriage.” This brought on more tears that Lydia
wiped away. “I was devastated. I had so wanted that child. It didn’t matter if
I had to raise it on my own. I was determined to do whatever necessary. I loved
it from the moment I learned of its existence.”

Ginger placed a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry you lost your
baby, Lydia.”

“Thank you.” She took a few moments to compose herself, then
said, “I went to church and confessed my sins. I needed something to get me
through the trying time and Jonathan offered guidance and introduced me to a
faith I believed was unwavering.”

This caused Ginger to eye her skeptically. “Are you saying
your faith
isn’t
unwavering?”

Lydia’s lips quivered as she spoke. “When Jonathan and I
fell in love, I thought of it as my second chance. Redemption and salvation and
all that. He’s such a warm, kind man and I loved him dearly. I still do. But
for three years we tried to get pregnant and…nothing happened. After all that
time, making love felt tawdry. As though it was a sin, because we weren’t
accomplishing anything. We were just…having sex.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, I’ve spent
twenty-five years being a virgin, and I don’t feel it was the least bit tawdry
to—” She pressed two fingers to her lips as her eyes widened over her
monumental slip. Lydia’s brow lifted, but it was too late for Ginger to cover
her tracks. Her hand dropped from her mouth and she said, “When it’s with the
right person, it’s not a sin, Lydia.”

The reverend’s wife turned away again, wandering aimlessly
about the store. Eventually, she stopped her pacing and looked back at Ginger.
“I enjoyed it,” she admitted. “I enjoyed making love with my husband. But I
thought I was being punished for what I’d done when I was eighteen and I didn’t
want him to be punished as well.”

“So you kicked him out of your bedroom? How is that not
punishing him?”

Mortification crossed her plain features, but only for a
second. She said, “Ryan told you we have separate bedrooms?”

“He mentioned it. Not in a gossipy way. There was context
around it that pertained to me and him.”

“Well,” she said as she folded her arms over her chest
again, this time in a defensive way. “The fact of the matter is, I didn’t ask
Jonathan to sleep in a different room. He chose to do it all on his own.”

Ginger gasped. She couldn’t even imagine how deeply that
would cut.

“I don’t blame him,” Lydia was quick to say. “Why not move
out? All he received in my bedroom was the cold shoulder as I rolled over to my
side of the bed every evening without so much as a goodnight kiss.”

“Lydia.” Ginger closed the gap between them and gripped the other
woman’s upper arms. “Have you ever considered you’ve gone too far?”

More tears pooled in her eyes. “Of course. But when you’ve
reached the end of the path, there’s no going back.”

“Yes, there is. You don’t have to keep up this pious
behavior. Being a good Christian isn’t about shunning others for their choices,
it’s about helping them and letting them find their way. It’s about accepting
the differences people inherently have. You can’t force everyone to be just
like you. Especially when you’re not the least bit happy with who
you’ve
become.”