Adrian's Wrath (7 page)

Her experience in seducing a man was zilch, but she pictured in her mind what she wanted to do and it seemed easy enough. Moving so close to him that there wasn’t an inch separating their bodies, Brea gathered all her strength and slid her hand on his thigh. The muscles under her palm tensed as she slowly started to move her hand up, closer to where she wanted to go.

“Brea? What are you doing?” He sounded almost pained and she stopped, fearing she wasn’t doing it right.

“I’m sorry. I don’t really know what I’m doing.” She went to move her hand away but he put his on top to stop her retreat. The look in his eyes made her feel a little embarrassed. “I’m not a virgin or anything, I just—” God, it sounded horrible hearing it come out of her mouth. “I’m just not that experienced. I’m sorry.” She felt her face heat, but he didn’t let her slide back to the passenger seat.

“What you’re doing feels so good, Brea. So. Fucking. Good. Come here.” The command was low, but held so much promise and desire that she couldn’t
not
obey it. When she was pressed against his side again she kept her head low. Heat and desire were still strong inside of her. “Look at me.” Voice pitched low, his breath blew wisps of hair around her cheek. A shiver raced up her spine from that small, almost innocent act.

Finding the courage to look at him after she just divulged that little tidbit and after hearing his desire for her was harder than she thought, but when she was finally able to lift her eyes to his she was shocked by the raw lust reflected in his face.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You being honest about your experience just makes me want you more.” He leaned in and Brea had to force her eyes to stay open. Just having him be so close, being able to smell his intoxicating cologne had her on the verge of moaning. “There is nothing you can say or do that would make me want you any less.”

When his words sank in, dread settled in her. Oh, there was plenty she could tell him that would have him singing a completely different tune. She didn’t even want to imagine the look of disgust when and if he ever saw her scars.

“Look at me. I want you to see how much I want you.” Their eyes stayed locked and her breath caught at the intensity in his expression. “You’re beautiful, Brea. Inside and out.” He dipped his head to kiss her lightly. To her disappointment he didn’t deepen the kiss, but ended it far too soon. “Whatever happened to you does not shape who you are as a person. It might control you temporarily, but inside, under all that hurt and pain, is the real you just waiting to be awakened.”

The way he talked, so passionately, led Brea to believe that maybe he was referring to himself instead of her. She would like to believe what he said, but there was a part of her that knew she was ruined. She was broken by Cameron and even though she could be put back together, there would always be those fissures that showed the world she wasn’t whole. The idea that Adrian wanted her, despite his obvious comment that he knew she had a past, had her chest warming, but those types of thoughts were a fantasy. She would let herself enjoy her time with him and then when she needed to go she wouldn’t look back. It was safer that way for both of them.

Not thinking, just needing to feel him, Brea closed the distance that separated them and kissed him, hard and with as much passion as she felt for him. His grunt of surprise spurred her on. Her clit throbbed and her pussy ached to be filled. Sliding her hand back on his thigh, she moved quickly for fear that he would try and stop her again or she would lose her nerve. His thigh was thick and muscular, and when she reached the hard, thick length straining against the material an involuntary moan left her. As if that sound broke him, Adrian gripped her shoulders and pulled her impossibly close.

Her hand curled around the iron-hard ridge and a shudder went through his body. “I want you so fucking bad, Brea.” His hips jacked up in her grip and a thrill went through her. One of his hands slid off her shoulder and made a slow trek down her side and rested on top of her thigh. The heat from his touch went straight through the thin material. In the next instant he gripped her thigh and pulled her on top of him. She straddled his waist, their kiss never breaking. Both of his hands were now gripping her waist and he pressed her down on him at the same time that he lifted his hips.

“Ohhh.” She closed her eyes as her pussy, covered only in thin silk, pressed aggressively against his jean-clad cock. The need to feel more of him, all of him, was so strong she had to break the kiss and gasp for air.

“I want so much more of you.” Adrian started kissing her neck and Brea tilted her head to the side, relishing in the feel of his lips and tongue sliding along the uber-sensitive spot right below her ear. His deep chuckle sent vibrations straight to her clit. “Like that, don’t you, baby?” He ran his tongue over the spot in question and she shivered again. “I want inside of you so bad, baby.”

A gasp left her at his blunt statement. A warm wave washed through her and she found herself grinding herself on him wantonly. Brain fuzzy from desire, Brea was vaguely aware of Adrian’s palms sliding over her ass and cupping the mounds. The pleasure was incredible, but like everything else in her life, she felt her past taking over a happy moment. Her breath started sawing in and out of her and everything around her grew dim as a panic attack threatened to take hold.

She felt so good on top of him. So. Fucking. Good. Her body was petite but curvy in all the right spots. Her skin tasted so good. Like vanilla and peaches. God, he loved that combination. The way her body shivered slightly as he licked the spot right below her ear had him so fucking hard he thought for sure he would bust right through the damn zipper. When he cupped her perfectly apple-shaped ass he would have growled in approval but the way she tensed and the way her breathing changed had him instantly stopping and pulling back.

“Baby?” Brea had this faraway look in her eyes and he knew if he didn’t bring her back now she would slip deeper into whatever memory was dragging her down. “Brea, look at me. Look. At. Me.” She seemed to snap out of it and dropped her head to the crook of his neck. When her body started to shake in great wracking sobs Adrian wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. She was crying, and it tore him up inside. He didn’t ask her what was wrong. He just let her cry it out. He wanted her to open up, but he wasn’t about to push her. He knew better than anyone that if someone tried and pushed him into opening up before he was ready it just caused that door to slam shut harder.

They sat there for a long while before her sobs stopped and she pulled away. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and tears continued to flow down her cheeks. He didn’t deny himself from lifting his hands and brushing her tears away with his thumbs. He brought one damp digit to his mouth and kissed, all the while holding her gaze. “I’m here if you want to talk.” She looked out the driver-side window and swallowed. That image broke his fucking heart. When she finally looked back at him she didn’t say anything, just nodded.

“I know. Thank you.” She made a move to get off his lap but he didn’t want her to leave just yet. Even if all he did was hold her, that would be enough.

“I just want to hold you, Brea. Just let me hold you, baby.” Pulling her close he held her tighter while she rested her head back in the crook of his neck. They stayed like that and she became so still that Adrian wondered if she had fallen asleep.

“Can we take a walk on the beach?” Voice soft and muffled, Brea whispered against his neck. He liked having her pressed against him, liked being the shoulder she used to cry on. The thing he didn’t like, that pissed him the fuck off was the fact someone had instilled this type of reaction in her.

“Of course.” He opened his door and helped her out. They headed toward the beach and Adrian reached out and took hold of her hand, twining her fingers with his. It was the middle of the week so the beach was all but deserted at this time of day. The sun was setting over the horizon, and there was a hint of pink that touched the farthest recesses of the ocean. They held hands but Brea took the lead. She walked until they were standing at the shoreline, the water rushing toward their feet. Brea laughed and ran before the water got her. The sound of her laughter made his chest ache. It sounded so damn good to hear her sound happy.

Their hands disconnected as she bent down and took off her shoes. The wind kicked up and blew her hair around her shoulders. The scent of vanilla and peaches filled his senses.

“You better take your shoes off or you’ll get those shiny new kicks wet.”

“Kicks?” Adrian’s voice was filled with amusement. She glanced up at him, a smile on her face. He kicked his head back and laughed. It was a true and honest one, and it felt damn good. It had been too long since he had laughed. “I’d never, in a million years, think you would refer to my shoes as ‘kicks.’” Her little shrug was cute as hell. She moved closer to the water and stood there until the water came rushing toward her again. Just before it swallowed her toes she jumped back, laughing loudly.

“I can’t believe I’ve lived less than two hours away from this and have never driven down here.” The cardigan was pulled tighter around her back as she wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the horizon. “It is so beautiful. I wish I could swim out to where the color is starting to fade away. I could just disappear from everything. From everyone.” Her voice had dropped lower and the sadness in it was just too much for him.

Feet moving of their own accord, he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her against his chest. They stared out at the ocean for several long minutes. He knew he needed to tell her who he really was. Already he had waited too long.

“I’m sorry I freaked out back in the truck. I just”—she took a deep breath—“I haven’t been with a man in a very long time and it just brought up some old, painful memories.”

He had known that she had a traumatic past. It didn’t take a detective to see the small, subtle signs of what she went through. The stiffness when he first touched her, the way she was always on edge, the fear in her eyes when those drunks assholes had dared to bother her.

Not thinking anymore, he let his heart lead the way. “I was married once, years ago.” He expected her to stiffen, but she remained motionless. “Her name was Addie and she was pregnant with our first baby.” He looked at the crushing waves beating against the rocks. The sound was ominous and soothing all at the same time. “A little girl. We were going to name her Molly.” Just thinking about them made his chest ache. He released one of his arms from around her and rubbed the center of his chest, right over his heart. It had been a long time since he let himself open up completely and let the memories of Addie and their child wash through him. He needed Brea as close as he could while he told her this. Wrapping his arm back around her, he rested his head on top of hers and spilled his heart.

“We were going to have one of those ultrasounds where you can actually see the baby in 3D. Addie was so damn excited about it.” A smile touched his lips as he remembered that day. The way she had been rubbing her belly and singing to her favorite song that was playing on the radio. “The car came out of nowhere. He was drunk at ten in the morning and ran a red light, slammed right into the passenger side of our car and killed Addie instantly. At least that’s what they told me. I’m glad she didn’t suffer.” The last part was more of a whisper.

Brea had placed her hands over his where they rested right over her belly. “When I came to I was so confused as to what had happened that I didn’t even know where I was. I had hit my head on the steering wheel and had been out for thirty minutes. When I finally remembered what happened I was frantic to know where Addie was, that she was okay. That our baby was okay.” The sound of the sirens, the smell of blood and dirt washed around him and it was like he was back on that street with medics surrounding him, shouting orders.

“I knew right then, when they were telling me to calm down, that they needed to see to my wounds and that someone would come talk to me, that she was dead.” The tears that he had held in since that fateful night were threatening to make an appearance. The only time he had cried was when they pulled that sheet back so he could make a positive ID.

“Adrian.”

“Please, let me finish. I want to tell you this. I’ve wanted to for a while. I need you to know who I am, what I am. I changed that day, Brea, and it wasn’t for the better.” The need to look into her eyes as he bared his soul was too strong to ignore. As if she read his mind, she turned around to face him. “I never used to be like this, so angry at the world. Since Addie and our baby died all I’ve wanted to do was inflict pain. I wanted everyone to feel what I felt. I hated my life, hated the man I had become, but I couldn’t move past it. Fighting gave me an outlet for my wrath, and it felt damn good making another man bleed. I don’t want to sugarcoat it and tell you I wish I didn’t turn out the way I did, because it would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you.” Why was it so hard to keep her stare? Probably because the damn sadness reflected in the blue depths was tearing him up inside.

“Adrian.” The light touch of her hand on his cheek had him closing his eyes and leaning into her. Brea’s touch was filled with gentleness and he found himself letting go of some of his agony. “I am so sorry.” That was the last thing he wanted to hear from her.

A quick shake of his head stopped her from continuing. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Brea. It was a long time ago and I wanted to share this with you because I want to be honest about my past. I care about you. A lot.” The wave crashing behind her was the only sound that drowned out the silence that threatened to swallow them whole.

“Even though I knew in my heart that Addie was dead, it was twenty minutes before someone let me see her.” The image of Addie lying on the asphalt, the sheet covering her body, the slight swell of her belly evident, was so clear that he was no longer able to hold in the tears.