Advice of Counsel (The Samuel Collins Series Book 1) (23 page)

“Samuel?” she called out.

I poked my head back in the door. “Yeah?”

“You’re the best neighbor I’ve ever had.”

Larry’s depo was scheduled for 10:00 o’clock the next morning in Dick’s office.  Like Maddie’s deposition, it would be videotaped, but unlike
Maddie, a video would not serve to Larry’s benefit.  He looked like a weasel on
TV that day I’d seen him standing beside his bleeding house.  Irritating
mannerisms had shown through even on that brief 30-second clip.  I could just
imagine all the others that would surface during a four or five hour
deposition.

I knocked on Maddie’s door after Mrs. Howard dropped off my
muffins that morning and I couldn’t help laugh when she opened the door. 
Maddie was still wearing her outfit from the day before and she had a
tremendously sexy case of bed-head.

“Nice hair,” I said, walking past her into the front room. 
“Want a muffin?”

“I threw up,” she said pitifully.

“Gross.  So I guess that means you don’t want a muffin?”

“Nuh uh.”  She lay down on the sofa just like she’d done the
night before and looked up at me like a little kid.  “I feel horrible.”

“You don’t look that bad,” I said, popping a cherry bran muffin
into my mouth.  “Do you have any milk?”

“I have two small children.  Of course I have milk.”

Maddie was sitting up when I came back in with my glass of
milk.  “Can I have the day off?  Or at least the morning?” she whined.

I laughed at her and sat down beside her.  “Yes, you can take
the day off.  You probably wouldn’t be very much good anyway.  I’ll be in
Larry’s depo most of the day and Penny can handle things at the office.  I’m
surprised she hasn’t called to check on you already.”

“She has,” Maddie said sheepishly.  “I told her I got sick from
food poisoning.  Will you please not tell her that I’m hung over?”

“What a prevaricator!” I exclaimed.

“Come on, Samuel.  Pleeeease.”

“Oh, all right.  Your lie is safe with me,” I said, shoving her
head to the side.

“Ouch!” she whined.  “You gave me a headache.”  I got up and
Maddie lay back down.  She covered her eyes and peeked through her fingers. “Is
there anything about last night that I need to be embarrassed about?”

“Other than spilling drinks all over everyone at our table,
no.”

“Thank God.”

I left Maddie on her couch and called Landra on the way to the
office.  The grand jury was scheduled to convene on Monday and I knew she was
nervous.  I didn’t relish the thought of telling Landra that I’d had drinks
with Maddie the night before, but I knew better than to try to hide it. Too
many people had seen me out, and although I hadn’t done anything wrong, Landra
had a way of making me feel guilty anyway.  As it turned out, she wasn’t at all
upset.   I had never liked having to answer to someone, which was probably why
I’d never been married.  And while no one was going to tell me that I couldn’t
go celebrate with a client, I found myself more relieved than I cared to admit
once I had told her.  We made plans to have dinner that evening and I was still
thinking of her when I made it to Dick’s office.  The reception area had dark
ugly paneling and the sorriest excuse for artwork hanging on the walls.

Just looking at Larry put me in a bad mood.  He was such an
asshole.  I tried my best to be civil as I started deposing him but I kept
replaying the scene when I thought he’d killed the Siamese and I could feel my
blood pressure rising.  I had to keep reminding myself that I’d gotten even on
that score.

The other thing was that Larry was a liar.  And he wasn’t a
good liar either.  A jury would see right through him, but it was making my job
more difficult.

“Have you ever had sex with Madeline Griffin?” I asked.

“Many times,” he said, and his left eye twitched.

I didn’t flinch.  “How many?”

“Too many to count,” he asserted.

“When was the first time?”

“I’m not sure.  Some time last year.”

“Was it during last year’s reduction-in-force?” I asked.

“I couldn’t say.”

“Did you tell Ms. Griffin that if she had sex with you, she
would survive the reduction in force at Datacare?”

“I never told her that.”
Twitch
. 

“How did it come about that you and Ms. Griffin had sex?  The
first time,” I clarified.

“She came in my office one day and took off her clothes.”
Twitch,
twitch
.

“Did you know that your eye twitches every time you lie to me?”
I asked, and Dick stood up and thundered, “OBJECTION!”

“Do you play poker?” I asked Larry hopefully.

“OBJECTION!” Dick repeated.

“Settle down Dick,” I said laughing.

“You are way out of line!” Dick exclaimed.  His face was beet
red and the veins in his neck looked like they were about to pop.

“I’m sorry.  I just couldn’t resist,” I said, trying to quit
laughing.  I looked back over at Larry.  “Dates and places of every time you
had sex with my client.”

He stuttered for a second.  “I’d have to reconstruct that.”

“That’s fine.”  I put my pen down and sat back waiting and
Larry gave me a stupid look.  “Do you want me to get you a calendar?” I asked.

“You want me to do it right now?” he said confused.

“Please.”

“I . . . I can’t do it right now.  I’d have to have my own
calendar with me.”

“Well, tell me some of the places these many sexual encounters
occurred.”

“In my office, in her office, different places.”

“Does Datacare engage in surveillance against its employees?”

“No,” he said, clearly thrown by the question.

“Do you have a lock on your office door?”

“No.”

“But you had sex in there?”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t afraid someone would come in?”

“We mainly did it in her office,” he said.

“But that first time . . . when you claim that she came in your
office and . . . what did you say?”  I looked back in my notes like I’d
forgotten, “Oh yes, that Ms. Griffin took off her clothes.  She wasn’t
concerned that someone might walk in?”

“She didn’t care because she was a slut.”

I pointed my pen at him.  “Twitch, twitch,” I said shaking my
head.

“OBJECTION!”

“We’re not in court Dick,” I reminded him.  I turned back to
Larry.  “Do you have a video camera?”

“No . . . uh . . . I mean . . .yes.”  He shot a quick look at
Dick to see his reaction.

“Ever videotape any of your employees?”

“No.”

“Ever videotape Madeline Griffin?”

“No.”

I turned to Dick.  “Do you want to remind your client that he’s
under oath?”

Dick was squirming every which way in his seat.  I’d done the
same thing to him the last time he was my opposing counsel.  That time, I
insinuated in my questioning that there might be compromising photos of his
client.  I was only bluffing, but he fell for it completely.  He had to know
Larry was a liar, but he couldn’t be certain whether he was lying about the
existence of videotapes or not.

“My client is well aware that he’s under oath,” he said
angrily.  He shot a look at Larry.  “I think it’s a good time to break for
lunch.”

I went to my office to catch up on phone calls during the break
and I was shocked to find Maddie there.

“You made it in!” I said, not attempting to hide my surprise. 
Maddie looked embarrassed.  I turned to Penny.  “Maddie got food poisoning last
night,” I informed her.

“I know, bless her heart.  And she came to the office anyway. 
She’s such a dedicated employee,” she cooed.

I liked Penny, but whenever she talked about Maddie, I wanted
to throw up.  Her precious Madeline could do no wrong.  I was dying to tell her
that there was no food poisoning – that her little darling had gone out and
gotten commode-hugging drunk and was nursing a whale of a hangover.  But even
if I told her that, I knew exactly what she’d say.  She would use that
sickeningly syrupy-sweet tone that she always used when she talked about
Madeline, and she would say that Madeline was entitled to a night out after
what she’d been through the day before.  Hell, she’d probably even suggest that
I let her go home . . . no . . . that I pay her to go home, and get some
much-deserved rest.  I decided it was best to let the lie stand.

“How’s the depo going?” Maddie asked anxiously.

“Let me make a couple of calls and I’ll fill you in,” I said
heading to my office.  “Do we have anything to eat here?”

“I’ll make you something,” Maddie said to my back.

When I finished my calls, I found Maddie in the kitchen
watching some stupid soap opera.  “Why do you watch that crap?” I asked.

“I don’t know.  Maybe because their lives are always more
screwed up than mine.”  She sat back and pushed her plate in front of me.

“What’s this?” I said looking under the bun.

“A meatball sandwich.  I can’t eat it.”

“You’re giving it to me?”  I asked and Maddie nodded.  “You
want to split it?” I offered.

“Nuh uh,” she said, looking kind of green.  “Just the smell is
grossing me out.”  She rested her head on the table.  “Tell me about Larry’s
deposition,” she said without enthusiasm.

“Why’d you come in, Maddie?  I said you could have the day
off.”  I took a bite of the sandwich and was pleasantly surprised to find that
it tasted worlds better than it looked.

“I need the money.”

“I’m not going to dock you for one stupid day!  Now go home
before you throw up all over the office.”

“Why are you being evasive?   Tell me about the deposition,”
she repeated.

 I put the sandwich down.  “It’s going fine.  Larry’s a liar. 
But the jury will see that.”

“Like what’s he lying about?”

“He’s lying about everything.  He said that the two of you had
sex all the time.”  I held my breath waiting for her to erupt.

“He said
what
!” she exclaimed, eyes wide with shock.

“I knew he’d say something like that.  Don’t let it upset you.”

“Upset?  Upset!”  She’d balled both hands into fists.  “I am so
much more than upset!  I’m . . . I’m . . .”  She was looking around for
something to throw and I felt like I needed to take cover.  “I’m so mad I don’t
even know what to call it!” she yelled.

I fully expected her to turn the table upside down so I grabbed
my plate and scooted back in my chair, but instead she burst into tears.  I was
almost relieved.  She sat down wearily in her chair with tears rolling down her
cheeks.  I scooted back to the table and set my plate back down.

“Maddie, don’t let him up-”
I almost said it again
. 
“Don’t let him get to you.  Larry has lied throughout his deposition.  It’s
gonna come back to bite him in the butt.  You can’t tell that many lies and not
get tripped up in them.  I promise you.   If I had to say how the deposition
was going, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it an 8 or 9.  Now stop crying and
go home and get some sleep.”

She looked a little pacified.  “The thought of . . . never
mind.”

“I know.  But Larry’s going to get what’s coming to him,” I
assured her.  “One way or another.”

She was sitting there looking so sad that I felt like I had to
do
something
.   I started singing.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.”

Maddie looked at me like I was an idiot.  I nudged her elbow
for her to pick it up.  “Come on,” I encouraged.

Maddie wiped the tears off of her cheeks.  “Bright copper
kettles and warm woolen mittens,” she sang quietly.

I didn’t know the next line so I sang “blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah,” while she sang the words, then we picked it up
together and finished the chorus. Thank goodness we were both laughing too hard
to continue.

“You’re so weird,” Maddie said.

“I’m weird?  You made me sing the whole damn soundtrack with
you last night!”

Maddie leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.  “That’s what I
love about you, Samuel Collins,” she said.  “I’m going home now.”

“Go home,” I told her, and as she walked out, I shouted down
the hall, “And don’t come back ‘til you can play nice!” She left me with a huge
smile on my face and I could hear her laughing all the way down the hall.

I was in a bad mood when I got back to the deposition.  Dick
looked nervous and Larry looked smug.  I felt like beating the shit out of both
of them.  Up to that point, I wasn’t sure which way I was going to go with the
videotape of Maddie I’d taken from Larry’s office.  I’d made a couple of still shots
from the video and I tossed one across the table at Larry.

“You ever seen anything like this?” I asked.

He couldn’t cover his shock.  “Where did you get this?” Larry
said clearly rattled.

“Let me see that,” Dick ordered, but Larry was hesitant to turn
it over to him.

Old Dick sat there with his hand out waiting, and when Larry
finally gave it to him he was stunned into silence.  He stared at the photo for
a good 30 seconds before he said anything.

It was a shot of Maddie in her office at Datacare, shirt
unbuttoned and all hooked up to the pump.  It was obvious from the angle of the
shot that it was taken from a camera that was mounted in the ceiling.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Dick asked me.

 “That’s what I’m asking your client, Dick.”

“Why wasn’t this turned over yesterday with the documents your
client was requested to produce at her deposition?” Dick asked angrily.

“It just came into my possession,” I said straight-faced. 
Unlike Larry, I had a damn good poker face when I needed to.

“What’s the story?” I asked Larry.

“I don’t know anything about that picture.”

 “What do you know about the camera that took it?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m going to remind you that you’re under oath Mr. Roeberts. 
Has your attorney advised you of the penalty for perjury?”

“Excuse me,” Dick said, clearly unnerved by the photo.  “I’d
like to consult with my client off the record for a moment.”