Afflicted (5 page)

“I said I’m fine.
” I spat. “Will you just go already?” I felt guilty because he didn’t deserve it, but I just needed my own space right now.

I
felt him before I saw him. Turning around I saw Cole walking angrily towards us without his shirt, his expression menacing. This was not going to go over well. He looked at me, then Blake. I saw his anger flaring. He was jealous, and I knew he wouldn’t care what explanation I offered. Blake looked at me for answers and I gave a small shrug.

“Who’s he?” Cole
demanded.

“Cole
, this is Blake. He’s the bassist for Battlescars. He’s also Jake’s best friend.” I said nonchalantly catching a glimpse of Blake out of the corner of my eye. I could have sworn that he looked hurt
. What was I supposed to say? Hey Cole, this is the guy that I fucked at Aubrey and Jake’s wedding while we were on a break? Oh yeah, I think I have feelings for him too.
“Blake, this is my boyfriend, Cole.” I said almost guiltily.

“Nice to meet you,
bro.” Blake said, offering his hand.

Cole
looked as his hand like it has the plague and refused to shake it. That pissed me off. I wanted to apologize for him, but it would only cause more shit for me later.

“Are you going to
come finish this or not?” Cole demanded, pointing to his back.

“Yeah.
” I took a step toward the shop. “I’ll see you around Blake.” I said looking over my shoulder.

“
No, you won’t!” Cole yelled, causing me to flinch.

So it was okay for him to run away to God knows w
here for days at a time, but heaven forbid I even talk to another person. Blake nodded and got back into Aubrey’s car. We exchanged one last glance before I walked back to the tattoo shop causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach. At this point, I may as well finish what I started.

I went into my room and picked up the pieces of my now destroyed ta
ttoo gun and put them in a pile. Reaching into the drawer I pulled out another gun and started setting everything up again. Cole came in and sat back in the chair. He let out a deep breath and looked at me intently.

“I’m not losing you to anyone
, Piper. I’m sorry I snapped like that, I just have a lot going on in my head right now.” He truly did look sorry, and it made me feel horrible for losing my patience with him, but it was such a constant thing these days that I was burnt out.

“Whatever
. This shit needs to stop, Cole. Maybe you should look into professional help or something because I don’t even know where to start.” I was already overwhelmed and didn’t even know how to begin helping him.

Cole
’s dad worked two jobs and raised him alone after his mom split when he was seven. He struggled with some serious abandonment and trust issues because of it, especially with women. Their relationship struggled the past several years, and when his dad remarried and moved to Texas Cole decided he didn’t want him in his life anymore either. I thought we worked through a lot of his ghosts, obviously I was wrong.

After my high school graduation
, my parents sold their house and moved two hours away to be more in the country. I didn’t want to leave my life or my friends, and I had just started apprenticing at TruInk, so I decided to stay behind. I lived with Aubrey and her family for a couple of months until I built up a reputation and could afford to live on my own. I moved all of Cole’s things into my tiny apartment until we could afford somewhere bigger. We’ve practically spent my entire adult life, except for a few short breaks, up to this point together.

After I assembled the tattoo gun
I got to work pouring ink into the caps, looking at his bare chest. The boy did have a delicious body I’d give him that. Dipping the needle into the ink and feeling the buzz of the gun in my hand as I stepped on the pedal was such a high for me, I felt myself instantly relax. I glided the needle across the flesh, swiping blood up as I completed each new line. An hour later I was finally finished.

Looking
at the picture in front of me nearly brought tears to my eyes. It was a marine kneeling on one knee holding a fellow perished soldier in his arms. It spanned his entire back, and it was beautiful. This was the third session, and I put so much thought into every detail from helmets to boots since it was a recreation of something that happened to Cole while he was overseas. One of the members of his platoon, who also happened to be a close friend of his, was killed by a roadside bomb. He was also injured in the same attack. I tried to think of that when he would get in one his funks, but it still didn’t make his mood swings easier to deal with it.

My life had turned into a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I wanted pre-Marine Cole back.

I bandaged up the tattoo and
handed him his shirt to put on. I cleaned up my mess and told my boss, Josh that I would see him on Monday since I took off tomorrow to help Aubrey with the twins so Jake could have some time in the studio.

Cole
took my hand and offered to take me out to dinner as his way of apologizing. Feeling emotionally exhausted from the events that transpired today, I asked if we could just get a pizza instead. Pulling out his phone he called Frank’s to place our order. We climbed into my vintage Beemer and drove across town.

I pulled into
one of the first spots and looked over at Cole who smiled shyly at me. He was handsome in an all-American boy way with his military haircut and freshly shaved face. He had dark brown hair, big brown eyes and a perfect smile. I leaned across the seat and kissed him lightly. He reached his hand up and placed it on the back of my neck pulling me closer.

“I really am
sorry.” He mumbled against my lips.

“I know.” I whispered back.

He pulled away and opened the door walking inside to collect our food.

We headed home to
the two-family house where for the past two years we’ve rented a half. By the time we arrived, I was starving. I did my usual routine, taking my shoes off and hanging my keys on the key holder. I followed the smell of tomato and garlic into the kitchen. Reaching up to the top cabinet I pulled out some plates. Cole came up behind me and grinded into me. I missed him acting playful like this. Placing the plates down on the counter I turned around.

I was starving, but I
wanted him more. He lifted me so that I was sitting. Wrapping my legs around his waist I pulled him down to kiss me. He skimmed his fingers up my ribcage pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it over his shoulder. Looking down at me greedily he dropped his head and took a nipple in his mouth. I reached my hand down and rubbed his hardness through the material of his jeans. He looked up at me with lust filled eyes.

I was surprised at how gentle he was being
tonight because we were usually much rougher. I tried to unbutton his jeans, but he moved my hand away. I looked at him confused.

“Not here.”
He said, pulling me close to him and carrying me toward our bedroom.

He placed
me on my feet and undressed me quickly. Taking his shirt off it reminded me to be careful of the fresh ink on his back. Finally, he let me undo the button of his jeans and slide them down his muscular thighs. I stroked him a few times before removing his boxers. He kicked them off to the side of the room and pushed me back onto the bed coming to a rest between my thighs. I was aching for him, for any physical contact. It had been far too long. Rolling a condom on I lined him up with my slick heat feeling his bulbous head slide in teasingly.

“Please.” I whimpered.

He shook his head and leaned down to kiss me pushing in a little further, stretching and filling me to the hilt. Every move was tender and loving. I felt the slow build of my impeding orgasm clawing at the surface. I was looking up at him and the sweat that was forming on his brow. I knew it was taking all of his restraint for him not to fuck me into next week, but I needed it rough. I liked it rough. Reaching around I grabbed his ass pulling him forward with a hard slam helping him pick up the pace.

He looked torn because I knew he wanted it to mean something, it did. I reached up and rubbed his face lovingly letting him know that I knew what he wanted to express.
I let go and had one of the best orgasms of my life. The only one that could rival it was with a certain bass player…

Now
thoroughly spent and famished I decided to jump in the shower. Dressing in a now too big pair of heather gray lounge pants and a Ramones t-shirt I headed back to the kitchen to eat our now cold pizza. Cole patted the seat next to him on the couch for me to sit. I took my plate and sat down next to him looking for any clue where all this was coming from.

“Pipe, I love you.
You have to know that, right? I know I’m not the same kid that left here four years ago, and I admit I’m struggling. I want to get back there, but it’s harder than I could have ever imagined. I just wanted to let you know that I thought about it, and I love you enough to let you go if that’s what you want.”

What?
What the hell is he talking about? Let me go?

“Hold up.” I said holding my hand up and practically choking on my pizza. “Let me go? Why the fuck would I want you to do that?”

“I saw how you looked at Blake. It’s the same way that you used to look at me. I’m not stupid. I know that something happened at the wedding. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me because of some moral obligation that you feel. I understand. Believe me, I don’t want you to go anywhere. I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now.” He rubbed his hands over his face, clearly torn up about the whole conversation.

Staring at my polished black fingernails
fighting back tears, I sucked in a deep breath. “Cole, I love you. I’m not going anywhere, as long as you can stop pushing me away. Stop leaving me and not telling me where you are, or when you’re coming back. If you need to leave, fine, but just tell me first. I don’t like it, but I’m trying to understand.”

“I know
, and it hasn’t been fair to you. I’m going to work on changing, but you’re going to have to be patient with me.” He pleaded.

I nodded my he
ad in agreement. I was feeling dejected about the whole conversation. He came back a shell of himself. He tosses and turns, and doesn’t sleep. When he does sleep he wakes up thrashing in cold sweats. When he first came home, he would run ten miles a day, sometimes several times a day. He was not the carefree boyfriend that left me. He was just surviving.

I was
truly hoping that we just turned some sort of corner. Eating my pizza deep in thought I decided that I had enough for one night and headed to bed. Normally he would stay up and watch infomercials, but tonight he was actually coming with me. He told me once, “I’m too afraid to sleep because of what haunts me,” which knowing he feels that way kills me.

I climbed into bed as
he pulled me close to his side.

Blake

I arrived back at the house in a foul mood throwing the Mini in park and slamming the door with much more force than necessary. Aubrey would have a shit fit if she saw. Storming inside I walked past Derek playing Xbox on the couch. He looked at me for a brief second, before deciding he didn’t want to get involved and turning his attention back to his game. I went into my room and closed the door.

Sitting on the edge of my bed I decided that m
y life was seriously fucked up at the moment. I was in love with a girl that had a boyfriend, a serious one at that. I kept telling myself that it was just a fling, but I couldn’t convince myself, even six months later. Seeing her today brought everything that I was fighting back to the surface. Needing a distraction, I called the dealership to see if my car was ready. They said someone would be dropping it off within the hour. Thank God, because I was getting tired of hearing Aubrey complain about me driving her “precious Mini”.

I
t didn’t take me long to decide that I needed to go out tonight. I went back into the living room and asked Derek if he was game, which of course he was. I jumped in the shower and made sure that I looked bangin’. I picked out a tight, white t-shirt with a black design and a pair of dark jeans. I ran some pomade through my hair and picked out my gray chucks. One final spritz of Chanel Platinum so I smelled funky fresh, and I was good to go. I yelled to Derek, who came barreling down the stairs looking like he was ready to tear up the town.

“My man. Glad to have you back.”
He beamed.

“Shut the fuck up and let’s go.”

Grinning from ear to ear he winked. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m just happy to have my buddy back. Now let’s go find you a rocker chick that will bang to Nirvana and get her out of your head.”

I opened
the door and sure enough my brand new, black Mustang GT was sitting pretty in the driveway. I reached to the windshield and picked up the envelope that held the keys. Derek looked at me and shook his head before climbing inside. My senses were filled with the new car smell and leather. Putting the key in the ignition I gave it a turn. Damn, could she purr.