After Life (23 page)

the devil and Mr. Carter doing? What does it have to do with the

digging up of graves? And people dying and being reborn?

She was silent, thinking. He shook his head and started to get up when

she reached out to seize his hand.

He's bringing them back, she said.

Bringing them back? Bringing who back?

The evil souls.

Despite his skepticism, Lee felt the back of his neck grow cold and that

chill spread quickly down his spine.

He's resurrecting them, she said in a whisper. He's finding them new

bodies and resurrecting them. Still holding on to his hand, she pulled

herself into a sitting position. That's why Marjorie was so different.

Don't you see?

Jess.

And why the real Marjorie told me not to let them bring you back once

you died. Marjorie had found out, too, so they arranged the accident.

That's it; it makes sense. Now you believe me, she said quickly. Now

you understand, don't you?

I don't know. It's a very frightening idea. Maybe it's best to placate

her, to humor her at this point, he thought. Later, when this passes,

she will come to her senses.

Of course it is, Lee. Oh Lee, she said, clutching his hand with her

other hand, too. Let's get out of here.

Tonight. Let's just pack up and go. Please.

Take it easy; take it easy. Let me think, he pleaded.

There's no time to think, Lee. She started to get out of bed. I'll

start to pack.

Jess . . . all right, all right, he said, holding her back.

I'll make some arrangements. I do have a few responsibilities you know.

They're not important. Not anymore.

Not to you and me maybe, but to other people, good people, they are.

Everyone in this town isn't a reborn evil soul, right?

She hesitated.

If we do bad things to them, we'll work right into the devil's hands. he

said. Where did I get that from?

he wondered. I'm getting to sound like her.

All right, she said. Do what you have to do to make our leaving

painless, but do it quickly.

I will. I promise, he said. They heard the doorbell.

That's Tracy, he said quickly when she reacted with instant fear. I

asked her to stop by and stay with you while I go to practice. All

right? She's one of the good guys, right?

I don't know, Jessie said.

You never had any bad vibrations from her, right'

No.

So she's clean. And while I'm gone, try to eat some thing, Jess. You're

only going to make yourself sick.

Okay?

All right, she said, lying back. All right. As long as you get us out

of here soon.

I'll be back as quickly as I can, he promised, and went out to let Tracy

in.

How is she? she asked immediately.

Rambling, going on and on with this hallucination.

Just humor her, keep her calm. Get her to eat some thing, and if you

do, he said, taking out the bottle of tranquilizers, get one of these

into the food. They're tranquilizers Dr. Beezly gave me.

Oh, sure. If Dr. Beezly wants her to take them, they must be good.

Tracy smiled. Don't worry, everything will be all right.

Thanks again, he said, and hurried out.

As he pulled away and down the road he looked to the right through the

old stone arch of the cemetery, and in the rear in one of the older

sections, he thought he saw old man Carter standing with a shovel. He

just had a glimpse of him while he passed, but it looked like he was

preparing to dig in front of a tombstone. dig up a grave.

See how easily weird ideas can be planted in your mind, he told himself.

No wonder poor Jessie had so many planted in hers. Her blindness had

imprisoned her in a chamber of horrors and left her to be victimized by

her own nightmares. It added to his weight of guilt for drinking too

much that fateful night and driving them into a tree. He had hoped so

much that Dr. Beezly would perform a miracle.

Even if he were the devil and were able to offer her sight, Lee mused, I

wonder if I would have blamed her for taking the deal. He had grave

doubts that he would hesitate if it were offered to him on her behalf.

He rode on, pursued by demons he had himself resurrected and now lived

in his own heart.

As if his boys sensed that his level of toleration was low, they all

played exceedingly well. There were no fights, no arguments, and there

was evidence of a great deal of teamwork. It encouraged and excited

him, and like a devoted jock addicted to sports and the love of the

game, he lost himself in the activity. For nearly an hour and a half he

thought about nothing else. At one point he substituted himself for one

of the players and scrimmaged a bit with the boys. He felt younger.

The boys cheered when he made his jump shot from the corner. His

teamwork--the way he passed the ball sharply, screened for another

player, and sacrificed personal glory to make a play work--inspired them

and they began to move like a well-schooled squad instead of wild and

independent individuals.

I'm making a difference, he thought. I'm finally getting through to

them.

At the end of the practice, they were smiling and congratulating each

other as well as saying nice things to him, thanking him, wanting to

shake his hand or have him pat them on their backs. As they left the

court to shower and dress, he thought they were finally turning into a

team, his team, and maybe one of his best.

How am I going to desert them at this point? he wondered sadly, and

retreated to his office to shower and dress. After a few days, after we

move out of the DeGroot house, maybe Jessie will get better, he thought

hopefully. He figured if he could only find new ways to distract her,

get her mind off these weird thoughts, he might turn this thing around.

He sat behind his desk and untied his sneakers. Then he phoned home to

speak to Tracy.

How's she doing? he asked.

She's fine, Lee. I got her to eat some hot cereal and I opened one of

the capsules and mixed it in. I sat with her until she ate it all. Now

she's resting, Tracy said.

Oh, that's great, Tracy. I don't know how to thank you.

No need.

Did she tell you what she thought had happened? he asked.

Not- really, no. I didn't push it either.

Maybe she's getting better; maybe she's snapping out of it, he said.

Oh, she will, Tracy promised.

I'm just cleaning up here. I'll be there soon.

Don't rush. I've already spoken to Bob and he's decided to make us

dinner tonight. I can't wait to see what that will be like. He hasn't

cooked for years.

If he poisons you, I'll feel it's my fault, Lee kidded.

I promise I'll haunt you forever, she replied. He hoped Jessie hadn't

overheard that or she would hallucinate something else, he thought.

He showered, dressed quickly, and hurried out to the parking lot. His

was the only faculty car left tonight.

The late-fall afternoons had grown shorter and shorter until it was

nearly pitch-dark by the time his basketball practice ended. As far as

he was concerned, it was the most depressing time of the year because he

rose in the dark, and went home in the dark. Early evening was much

colder, too. He had to remember he was in upstate New York now; it was

a colder climate. It was time to wear a thicker coat. This old

university basketball jacket wouldn't suffice. He actually shuddered as

he reached into his pants pocket to search for his car keys.

Just as he opened the door he thought he heard laughter a woman's

laughter. He turned and looked back at the building, but all was quiet;

all was still. There wasn't a person in sight. The custodians had all

the corridor lights on and some of the rooms were being cleaned, but

other than that, the building looked deserted. He listened again and

imagined it had been only the wind whipping around a corner, that and

his fragile imagination.

He got into the car and started the engine. The laughter reminded him

of Monica London. All day he had looked for an opportunity to seek her

out and tell her in no uncertain terms that he wanted to end their

sexual shenanigans, but whenever he was free, she was in class or simply

nowhere to be found. He didn't want to go around asking for her because

he was afraid of calling attention to himself. He returned to the gym,

thinking he would try again tomorrow.

He backed the car out of his space. When he checked his rearview mirror

out of habit, he thought he saw someone move out of the shadows. He

stared for a few moments, but the figure turned into a shadow again. He

shifted his car into drive and shot forward, driving like one escaping.

Imaginary laughter, figures in the shadows it was all getting to him. It

wouldn't be much longer before he would be in as bad a shape as Jessie,

he thought. How did this happen? How did it all somehow go wrong?

He couldn't help recalling their first days together, meeting -after a

ball game and rushing off to be alone, parking up on Angel Cliffs to

neck, their passion for each other becoming overwhelming until they made

love in the back of his Oldsmobile. Thank goodness for that big back

seat, he thought, smiling. Then there was the first night they got up

enough nerve to go to a motel.

What was it called . . . the Pit Stop? Jessie had gotten cold feet;

she was terrified someone would see them go in and out. Finally they

came up with that silly disguise--she dressing like a man. How they

laughed about it afterward.

He had never dreamed he would be a heavy drinker.

Of course, he had had his beer-drinking days at the fraternity and with

his teams afterward, but then he got into the habit of joining the other

coaches during his first two years as a teacher and coach. They would

scout teams and go off to drink and talk shop. He had been very lucky

up to that fateful night. So many times he had come home a bit high,

but always managed to manipulate the car.

It's all luck, he thought. One time too many, one missed turn, all a

roll of the dice, a spin of the wheel, and you pay for your errors and

sins. Only what had made it worse was he hadn't been the one

permanently damaged; he hadn't been the one punished. How many nights

would he go off alone someplace in the house or even out of the house

and rant and rave at himself? How many times would he curse the God who

had decided to make his punishment more severe by punishing the one

person Lee loved more than himself? He longed for Jessie to be angry,

for her to hate him, because the pain he suffered was made more intense

by her forgiveness.

Maybe that's why he had started up with Monica London, why he had

succumbed to her advances. He wanted to hurt Jessie again, hurt her so

badly that she would finally hate him. He needed to do penance; he

longed to be whipped. Instead she pitied him and gave him more love and

affection. If she only knew how passionately he had made love to

Monica, how eagerly he had accepted her kisses and sought her touch.

Just recalling it stirred him. He couldn't prevent it.

Monica loomed in his mind like the ultimate male fantasy Playboy,

Penthouse, Christie Brinkley, Kathleen Turner, Madonna, all and any of

them rolled into one.

It had been like making love with a dream. His body shook with the

memory.

And suddenly, just the way she had predicted when she had said, You know

how to call me, don't you, Lee? You just let your imagination run wild.

I'll be sure to hear it, she appeared. Not beside him, not in the car,

but outside the car, her face materializing and then fading, first in

the rearview mirror, which made him spin around and look in the back,

and then on the windshield. She smiled and beckoned. There she was on

the front passenger's-side window. There she was in the outside mirror.

He jumped when her voice came over the radio.

Hi, Lee. I knew you would call me again and again and again.

He reached for the on-off knob frantically, but the radio wasn't turned

on. Her face began to flash faster, appearing in every piece of glass.

She filled the rear window. Her voice began to echo and grow louder and

louder.

What is this? he screamed. Get out; get the hell away from me!

Lee, oh Lee . . .

He didn't realize he was pressing his foot down harder on the

accelerator, but the more he heard and saw her, the faster he drove.

Other traffic flashed by; some drivers, annoyed with his erratic

driving, hit their horns, the blaring sounds adding to his own inner

commotion.

Monica's voice grew even louder. He let go of the steering wheel twice

to cover his ears and then seized it again.

Frantic, he decided to pull over, but instead of hitting the brakes, he

hit the accelerator even harder. It made no sense, but the car shot

forward, Monica's face now filling the windshield and blocking his view

of the road.

He never saw the turn, but vaguely, as the car left the highway, he

recalled the route and realized this turn had come up. His automobile

seemed to lift off the road like a single-engine plane off a runway. It

flew a few feet over the embankment before striking a very large old

maple that absorbed the blow as if it had been growing for years and

years in anticipation of being struck just this way. Its long, gnarled,

and crooked branches shuddered and the last few dried leaves of late

autumn rained down in a mist of yellow, orange, and brown.

Lee's body slumped forward over the steering wheel, his chest pressing

down on the horn. The damaged auto mobile cried like a wounded beast,

its yowl reverberating

through the night. Squirrels scurried for protection, a fox foraging

nearby fled down a ravine, its tail floating like an afterthought in

some celestial mind. A trickle of blood began to run out the sides of

Lee's mouth, the drops dripping slowly onto his hand and lap. His body

lifted as though he were preparing to utter a deep sigh and then it

settled against the steering wheel again. The radiator hissed steam and

a wheel lifted off the ground and spun on as if the car had a mind of

its own and was trying to find footing so it could continue.

Finally the wheel spun to a stop like the wheel of fortune Lee had been

imagining earlier. The tree ceased shaking and dropping dried leaves,

and the horn grew lower as the battery began to short out. A dark

silence fell over the scene; it was almost as though the car had been

there for decades. The frightened squirrels tweaked their noses and

after a few more moments began to reappear. They peeked out of the

shadows with eyes made ghoulish by the light of the emerging moon. One

of the braver ones leaped onto the roof of the car and, after concluding

it held no promises of food, leaped off and chattered his disappointment

into the night. Then, as quickly as it had been noticed, the car and

its inhabitant were ignored.

Jessie lay vaguely awake. She had been fighting to remain conscious,

but any sounds she heard seemed distant and thin, making her wonder if

she wasn't really asleep and dreaming. Then she heard the voices, the

whispering. It grew louder, longer, closer. It was coming from outside

the bedroom, just down the corridor, toward the front of the apartment.

Was it Lee?

She moved her lips and wondered if she had made any sound. It seemed to

her she had; only no one came; no one heard her. She tried again and

again. Finally she was sure she had called out. The whispering

stopped. Some one was listening for her. She garnered all her strength

and called once more. Now she heard footsteps; it was more than one

person. Lee had come home. Thank God she thought. She tried to sit up

in anticipation. but her body felt so heavy, she didn't seem to have

the strength to lift it.

Lee?

No, Tracy said. It's me and Bob.

Bob?

Hi, Jessie, Bob said.

Bob? Where's Lee? What time is it? She found the strength to reach

for the clock to feel the numbers Where's Lee? she repeated with a note

of hysteria creeping into her voice as soon as she confirmed the time.

I'm afraid there's been an accident, Bob said.

Oh no. Jessie stuffed her fist between her teeth and bit down. She

shook her head frantically. Tracy was at her side, embracing her.

He went off the road . . . lost control, Bob continued. For some

reason, he was driving very fast and missed a turn. Henry Young phoned

me just a little while ago and asked me to come over here.

Is he dead? Did he die?

He's not dead, but I'm afraid he's in a coma, Jessie, Bob said.

He'll make it; he'll be all right, Tracy said, tightening her embrace.

Gardner Town Community General is a good hospital.

He didn't die yet, Jessie said softly. Then it's not too late. Please

take me to him. Please, she begged.

Now, Jessie, from what Tracy tells me, you've had a very bad day, Bob

began. You're far too weak and this can only make you weaker. It's

best you just rest here. There's nothing you can do. Dr. Beezly has

been called and is on his way to the hospital now.

NOOOOO! Jessie screamed. NOOOO!

Jessie, easy. Please take it easy, Tracy pleaded.

Jessie fought to escape her grip, and with a surge of desperate energy

tore out of her arms, but Bob was there to keep her from rising to her

feet. He placed his hands on her shoulders and drove her down. She

couldn't continue her resistance. She was too weak and so tired. Why

was she so tired?

Please, she begged. Please. If I don't get there, he'll take him.

Take him? Who'll take him? Bob asked.

I told you, Tracy said. She's been having some terrible nightmares and

hallucinating.

I'm not hallucinating.... I knew this would happen;

I knew it, Jessie cried.

All right, Jessie. All right, Bob coaxed. You just rest here and we'll

keep you up to date.

We'll stay with you. I promise, Tracy said. Her hands replaced Bob's

and pressed down on Jessie's shoulders forcing her to lie back. That's

better. You rest.

As soon as you're strong enough, we'll take you to the hospital. Right,

Bob'

Absolutely, Bob said.

No, you won't, Jessie said, shaking her head slowly.

No you won't, she repeated, but she couldn't keep awake. She couldn't

resist. The darkness outside her crept in over her thoughts and in

moments she was asleep.

She had no idea what time it was or how long she had been sleeping when

she woke up again, regaining consciousness with a shudder that traveled

up her spine.

It was as though someone had stuck a finger in her ribs.

This impression was so vivid that she sat up and reached out to see if

anyone was sitting beside her.

What? she asked the darkness. There was no sound, no sense of anyone

else's presence.

She was awake, but there was a thick veil of grogginess over her. Every

move, every gesture was ponderous difficult. She felt like she had a

weight on her chest, a she groaned with the effort to sit up. It took

all concentration and strength just to swing her legs over the side of

the bed. The moment she did so and pulled herself upright, her head

began to spin. She started dry-heave, pressed her hands into her

diaphragm, and took deep breaths to drive the urge back down. Even so,

she had to lie back again and regain her strength.

Gradually, in wave after wave of resurfacing though and memories, she

recalled what had happened and where she was. Realizing how desperate

the moment had become, she worked her way into a sitting position again

and drove away the dizziness long enough for her to reach for the clock

and feel the time. Only an hour and ten minutes had passed.

I have to get to the hospital, she thought. I have to get to Lee before

it's too late. She listened keenly for Bob and Tracy. They were still

in the house.

The murmur of their voices could be heard on the other side of the wall.

They were sitting in the kitchen As quietly and as carefully as she

could, she found the telephone and dialed the operator.

NTE, the operator sang. The voice was so mechanical Jessie feared it

might be a recording.

Operator, I'm a blind person, Jessie began. I need to call a taxicab

company. It's an emergency.

Just a moment, please, and I'll connect you with information, the

operator recited. A moment later almost identical voice came on.

information. How can I help you?"

Operator, I'm a blind person, she began again. I need to phone for a

taxicab. It's an emergency.

What town are you calling from, ma'am?

Gardner.

just one moment. I have a Gardner Town Cab Company Would that be all

right?

Yes, yes, she said frantically. How can these people stay so calm? she

wondered.

just a moment. A few seconds later a recording played the telephone

number. Why didn't the operator simply dial it for her? She had to

listen to the second reciting to get the number memorized. Then she

tapped out slowly to be sure she was accurate.

Gardner Town Cabs, a gruff voice answered.

"I need a cab right away.

Address?

'I want the driver to pick me up in front of the Gardner Town Cemetery,

she said. I'll be at the stone arch in one minute.

You're kiddin'?

No, sir. Please. It's very important. Tell the driver I'm blind.

You're blind and you'll be standing at the entrance to the cemetery?

Yes, please, please believe me, she begged. He was silent a moment and

then in an increasingly skeptical voice continued.

All right. Where are you going?

To the hospital.

What's your phone number' he demanded.

Please, she said. Don't call me back. My name is Jessie Overstreet. My

husband teaches at the high school.

The new coach? Yeah, that's right. I heard his wife was blind, the

dispatcher said as if he were talking to a third party and not to her.

Yes. My husband's the basketball coach, she said, finally finding a

reason to be grateful they were in a small town.

All right, ma'am. I'm sending someone right out.

Thank you, she said, and hung the phone up quietly.

She listened again. The rhythmic murmuring of Tracy and Bob's voices

continued unabated.

Jessie found her shoes and slipped them on. Then, with her heart

pounding so hard it nearly took her breath away, she started out. Almost

immediately she had a spell of vertigo and nearly fainted. She hugged

the wall and battled desperately to remain conscious. The spell passed

and she made her way out of the bedroom and into the corridor. She moved

as stealthily and as quickly as she could toward the front door, but

every few moments the vertigo threatened to return and she had to pause

to take deep breaths.