After Me (3 page)

He shrugged again as we went into one of the classrooms. “I’m just an alternate. Chess isn’t really my game.”

“Oh, yeah? What is?”

“
World of Warcraft
.” His eyes lit up as he said it. “Ever played?”

“Um, no,” I said. “Hey, I’d better go get my transfer slip signed and see where he wants me to sit. I’ll talk to you after class, okay?”

When the bell rang for the next period, Sidney looked at my schedule card and was heartbroken because we didn’t have any other classes together, but he cheered up when he saw that we ate on the same lunch wave. I promised to meet him in the cafeteria, and he left wearing a big smile.

I got looks from several guys in my next two classes, but since I just yawned at them in return, they left me alone. I know it was pretty bitchy of me, but I had no interest in playing their stupid little games. I thought I’d dodged all the pretty-boy bullets until I got to the cafeteria foyer and ran smack into Mr. Jockstrap.

“Whoa, where’s the fire, baby?” He stepped in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. “I promise there’s nothing in the lunchroom worth going that fast.”

I tried to look as bored as possible. “Nothing out here either.”

“You’ll change your mind about that after you get to know me,” he said. “My name’s Matt Winston. What’s yours?”

I removed his hands from my shoulders. “First name
Not
, last name
Interested
.”

His arrogant look changed to irritation. “What’s your problem, babe? You know how many girls would kill to be in your place?”

“Then I guess I’m saving lives by vacating my spot voluntarily, huh? Tell the other girls
hi for me.”

I walked around him and went into the cafeteria, ignoring the stares I was getting from several of the murderous girls I’d just heard about. I looked around for Sidney and spotted him with a couple of the boys he’d been standing with that morning and one blond guy I didn’t remember seeing before.

“Hey, guys,” I said. “Can I sit with you?”

“Sure, Gwen!” Sidney slid over to make room for me and almost pushed Justin off the end of the bench. “Here’s a spot by me.”

I laughed as I sat down. “Thanks, Sid. I knew I could count on you to look out for me.”

“Aren’t you gonna get a lunch tray?” he asked.

Eating was one of the hardest things for me to get used to. It wasn’t disgusting, even though the texture of some things really grossed me out. It was just that I couldn’t remember to do it. If I wasn’t careful, Karen and Brad would think I had an eating disorder.

I looked at Sid’s tray and made a face. “No offense, guys, but I’m not wasting my lunch money on mystery meat and crap delight. I’ll grab a sandwich when I get home from school.”

A red-haired boy with braces said, “Here, you can have my apple. I can’t eat them unless they’re cut up.”

Sidney added, “Yeah, by his
mommy
.”

“Thanks, uh…” I took the apple and tried to remember the redheaded boy’s name. “Leonard, right?”

“Right.” He gave Sidney a smug grin. “Leonard Webster. But you can call me Leo if you want to.”

Justin put down his fork with an offended sigh. “You told us not to ever shorten it because you were named for Leonard Nimoy.”

Leonard glared at him. “You really do need to mind your own business, Justin.”

I tried my best not to laugh, then I noticed the blond guy at the other end of the table was looking at me like I was wearing
eau de garbage
.

“Hey, Sid,” I whispered. “What’s with that guy?”

He followed my gaze. “That’s Lew Stanton. I told you about him this morning.”

“Oh, yeah. The hacker and chess champ. So why’s he looking at me like I kicked his dog or something?”

“I don’t know,” Sidney said. “You want me to introduce you to him?”

Before I could answer, Matt and a coed group of A-Listers walked up to the table.

“Hey look, guys,” Matt said. “The geek squad’s got a new member.” He bent over and put an arm across Leonard’s shoulder then pointed at me. “That type of humanoid is called a
girl
. Can you say
girl
, geekboy?”

God, I hated bullies.

“At least he can spell
girl
,” I said. “Why aren’t you eating, Matt? Haven’t mastered the whole opposable thumb thing yet?”

Sidney and his friends snickered, but the look on Matt’s face made it clear that he didn’t get the reference and also didn’t like being laughed at by a bunch of nerds. He smacked Leonard on the back of the head and probably would have done more if one of the teachers hadn’t walked over just then.

“Either get in line for a tray or vacate the cafeteria, Winston,” the man said. “How many times do I have to tell you and your groupies that?”

“We were just leaving, Mr. Kopelecki.” Matt elbowed Sidney as he walked past him.

I hoped I hadn’t made things worse for Sid and his friends because of my smartass remarks. I probably should’ve just kept my mouth shut instead of yanking Matt’s chain, and when I saw Lew glaring at me even more, I could tell he was thinking the same thing. Oh, well. So much for getting him to help me with the computer stuff, but there were plenty more nerds to choose from. No biggie.

So why did it bother me so much that this one seemed to hate me?

Chapter Six

B
y the time the last period arrived, I couldn’t wait to get it over with and go back to Brad and Karen’s. School had been hard enough to tolerate when I was Jada and needed a diploma for later in life. Gwen sure didn’t have any use for one.

When I walked into the room for my chemistry class sixth period, I saw Gwen’s name taped to one of the two-person tables and sat down. A second later, I heard a sigh and looked up to see Lew Stanton scowling as he took the seat beside me.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too,” I said. “What exactly is your problem anyway?”

He opened his chemistry book and didn’t look at me. “Guess I’m just not as impressed by you as Sidney and the other guys. Hope that doesn’t screw up your plans or anything.”

My plans? Did he know about me? Was he a Transdead Trustee too? I didn’t know why I felt so excited at the possibility, but I got up and moved around in front of him to get a closer look at his eyes. They weren’t black like mine though. They were blue—an amazing, pale shade of blue that made me catch my breath even though I didn’t breathe anymore.

Wait, what?

He scowled at me even more. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” I shrugged and tried to act like I hadn’t just fangirled over his eyes. “I just want to know what kind of plans you think I’ve got.”

He scoffed and looked at his book again. “Never mind. Just don’t include me in any of them.”

“Fine with me.”

“Fine with me too.”

“Glad we agree on something.” I sat down and wondered when I had reverted into a third grader.

The bell rang and everyone stopped talking while Mr. Forrester called roll. When he got to Matt Winston’s name at the end of the list, I looked around and realized he was sitting at the table behind me. Great. I was surrounded by jerks.

I tried to pay attention to what Mr. Forrester was saying about the chapter we were about to start, mostly to keep myself from looking sideways at Lew, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t resist checking out his short blond hair with its razor-sharp part, the way his blue Oxford was buttoned all the way up to his neck, the ring on his left hand with the strange black stone, and the almost manicured look of his fingernails. And instead of wanting to laugh at any of it, I found it all weirdly appealing.

What the crap was going on?

At one point, while I was trying to figure out what the weird numbers and symbols on his watch meant, he looked up from his note taking and said, “What are you staring at?”

“What kind of crazy watch is that?”

He glanced at it and sighed. “They’re square roots.” When I just looked at him, he pointed at one of the numbers. “Instead of twelve, it has the square root of 144. They’re the same thing.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to take your word for it on that,” I said. “Guess that’s a math thing or something, huh?”

He rolled his eyes and went back to taking notes. Once Mr. Forrester finished going over the formulas in the chapter, he said he had to go to the office for something and told us to read the chapter in our textbooks. I made it almost to the end of the first sentence before I lost interest. I turned sideways in my seat to face Lew.

“So I hear from Sid you’re the star player on the chess team.”

He didn’t look up from his reading. “I’m the captain.”

“Pretty cool,” I said, utterly amazed that the words had come out of my mouth. What was with me around this guy?

He closed his book with another sigh. “Look, I don’t know why you’re pretending to be interested in anything I do, but you’re not fooling anybody. I know it’s just an act. Like I already told you, I’m not awestruck by you like Sidney and the other guys, so if you think you’re gonna sucker me into doing your work for you in this class or something like that, you can forget it.”

I could tell my face was flushed, something I couldn’t remember happening to me since—oh, I don’t know—
ever
, and I felt my throat getting tight like I was about to freaking
cry
. What the hell? There was definitely a glitch somewhere in the Transdead Trustee software, and Flo had a lot of explaining to do. I swallowed the lump in my throat and poked Lew in his buttoned-up chest.

“For your information, Mr. Personality, I care even less about my grade in this class than I do about what impresses you. And just so you know, if I wanted somebody to do my work for me, I could probably get the teacher to do it.”

“Wow. Your parents must be so proud of you for that.” He opened his book again and turned away.

“Hey, give her a break, Stanton,” Matt said loudly from behind us. “She’s a foster kid fresh off the streets and doesn’t even have parents. She can’t help it if she’s used to turning tricks for whatever she needs.” He looked around to make sure he had everyone’s attention. “My girl Lisa checked her out in the office for me last period.”

I actually felt kinda relieved, because at least Matt’s announcement chased away all the stupid emotions I’d been feeling a second earlier. But before I could give Matt the verbal butt-kicking he deserved, Lew stood up and turned around to face him.

“Shut up, Matt. You don’t have room to be putting
anybody
down, and unless you want me to elaborate on why, you’d better shut your mouth.”

Everyone in the room except Matt gaped at Lew in total surprise, and if my heart had still worked, it would’ve been pounding in my chest because he was taking up for me. But even in my enthralled state, I didn’t miss the fear that flashed across Matt’s face at Lew’s threat. He replaced it quickly with anger, but not before I saw it. Yep, Lew had something on him that Matt clearly didn’t want anybody to know about.

“Bad move, Stanton.” Matt got up and started around the table until he saw Mr. Forrester coming back in the room.

“What’s going on here? Mr. Stanton, Mr. Winston—is there a problem?”

Lew and Matt both sat down and shook their heads.

“Good, then I’d suggest you finish the reading I assigned. And I think maybe we need to have a quiz on it tomorrow.”

Groans echoed throughout the room. I opened my book and pretended to read, but I didn’t even see the words on the page. All I saw was Lew’s face when he’d told Matt to shut up. I glanced sideways at him and could tell he wasn’t reading either.

“Hey, thanks for that,” I whispered.

“Forget it,” he replied. “It had more to do with him than it did with you.”

“Well, thanks anyway. And if he can’t stand you either, I guess we have something in common after all.”

He shook his head, but I could see the hint of a smile hiding at the corners of his mouth, and it set off a flock of zombie butterflies in my stomach.

Yeah, Flo had a buttload of explaining to do.

* * *

I
got plenty of curious stares from people on the school bus who must’ve heard about me from Matt and his crowd, but it was easy to ignore them because all I could think about was the crazy way I felt around Lew Stanton. I wasn’t supposed to be feeling
anything
, let alone some kind of stupid, giggly infatuation over a guy I wouldn’t have ever spoken to while I was alive.

When I stepped off the bus, a guy who hadn’t been at the stop with me that morning got off too,
and I managed to quit daydreaming about Lew long enough to get suspicious. When he followed me down the sidewalk toward Karen and Brad’s house, I stopped and turned around.

“Hey, you lost or something?” I said. “You don’t live on this street.”

He looked me up and down and laughed. “Just trying to make up my mind how much to offer you.”

“Give it up, jerkwad,” I said with my hands on my hips. “You wouldn’t have enough if you robbed Bill Gates
and
won the Nigerian lottery.”

His face lost its smirk, and his hand shot out to grab my wrist. “Don’t get uppity with me, you little tramp!”

Maybe it was because it was the same thing BOSSMAN had called me on the night I died, but his words echoed in my head like they were being broadcast from a loud speaker. It suddenly seemed as though I were looking through some kind of red film or at a TV with the tint turned completely to red. I snatched my arm free and pushed him in the middle of his chest with both my hands, and he went flying backward at least ten feet to thud against a sycamore tree in the yard behind him.

Wait, what?

I stared at my hands in amazement. “
Sweet
.
Super zombie strength.”

Both my rage and the red filter over my vision dissolved quickly as I wondered what other cool things I could do. Fat boy had lost consciousness when he hit the tree, and I didn’t care enough to wait around and see if he ever came to. I wasn’t worried about consequences, at least not Earthly ones. What was he gonna do? Tell the cops a hundred-pound girl threw him into a tree?

When I got home, Nathan was eating microwave pizza rolls at the kitchen bar while he did his homework. I sneaked one off his plate and popped it into my mouth, even though it was like chewing a mouthful of minced cardboard.

“Hey, get your own,” he said. “There’s another box.”

Karen poked her head out of the utility room. “So you do eat occasionally, Gwen. I was beginning to worry that you had anorexia.”

“Nah, and I don’t have that barfing one either.” I got the other box of pizza rolls from the freezer. “I just can’t eat a lot at one time. I guess it’s from not eating much while I was on the street.”

I turned to put the pizza rolls on a plate and stick them in the microwave, smiling at my double score—I’d remembered to eat and polished my homeless waif storyline a little more at the same time. I didn’t have to see it to know that Karen and Nathan were exchanging sad looks about my heartbreaking life on the street, and I knew Karen wouldn’t bug me about eating from now on.

I took the pizza rolls upstairs to my room, then I logged onto the blog and posted in all caps for Flo to contact me ASAP because I had some questions for her. A few minutes later, the theme music from
Dexter
announced that I had a new e-mail message.

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Contact Request

Dear Miss Gayle:

You may reply to this message with your questions.

Regards,

Florence

P.S. Change your e-mail address to something more appropriate.

A knock on my door interrupted me before I could type my message to Flo. I minimized my e-mail and called, “Come in.”

Karen opened the door and poked in her head. “Just wanted to see how your first day at school went.”

I shrugged. “Fine. Pretty much the same as the last school I went to.”

She came in and sat on the end of the bed. “Make any friends?”

“Yeah, I met a guy named Sid and some of his buddies. They’re all pretty nerdy, but I like ‘em.”

“What about girlfriends?”

I scoffed. “Girls don’t like me. They usually think I’m after their boyfriends or something stupid like that. It’s okay. I’ve never been one for the BFF thing anyway.” I’d answered from Jada’s experience, but I figured it probably fit Gwen’s profile too since I couldn’t imagine many girls being okay with having a hooker for a friend.

Karen covered my hand with hers and sighed. “Well, everybody needs a friend they can talk to and confide in. If you don’t find one your own age, I’m always willing to listen if you want to talk.”

Wow, so this was what it was like to have a mom.

I smiled and squeezed her hand. “Okay, thanks. I might take you up on that.”

After Karen left, I finished my message to Flo and sent it.

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

SUBJECT: What the hell?

I thought you told me Transdead Trustees don’t feel any emotions, so why did I just spend my first day at school mooning over some guy like a love struck sixth grader? And if that’s not bad enough, he’s a total geek and hates my guts. Somebody’s got some explaining to do!

Jada

While I waited for her reply, I checked FaceSpace but still didn’t think any of the men trying to hook up with me were the perv I was looking for, and I didn’t see anyone who might be him on their list of friends either. I wasn’t really sure how I’d recognize him, I just knew I would. I accepted a few friend requests just to broaden my search.

Of course, the best way to find him was to go back to one of the Sugar Daddy chat rooms where I’d found him in the first place, but I didn’t want to do that. The last time had gotten me a bunch of disgusting porn sent by e-mail, and I didn’t want that happening again.

I lay across the bed on my back with my eyes closed, and Lew’s face immediately appeared in my mind. God, he’d looked so cute when he’d been trying not to smile at what I said about us having something in common. I couldn’t wait to see him smile for real.