“I’ll do whatever I want. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
Using the saber, I pointed out the electrical panel on the wall behind the outdoor table. “You first,” I said.
He started toward it, and I stayed a few strides behind him, giving the cord plenty of slack.
The bag of tortilla chips and the margarita pitcher were still on the table.
“Shall we take a break for cocktails?” Steve asked.
“Keep going. Don’t touch that pitcher.”
“How about this?” he asked. Stepping around the table, he scooped up my bra with his bare right foot. It draped his foot like a huge red mask, flopping about but not falling off as he kept on walking. “Of course,” he said, “I prefer you without it.”
“Big surprise. You
made
me take it off.”
“But I’ll let you have it, now.”
“Don’t bother.”
He stopped at the electrical panel and flicked a couple of switches.
Lights suddenly flooded the patio. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that the pool lights had come on, too. “That’ll do it,” I said.
“Excellent,” Steve said. Turning around, he swung up his foot and flipped the bra at me.
I snagged it out of the air with the saber. It slid down the blade until it met the crosspiece. “Thanks,” I muttered.
“Aren’t you going to put it on?”
“Maybe later.”
“It does look like your hands are full,” Steve said. “Would you like
me
to lend you a hand?”
“Let’s go get the head.”
I backed out of his way. He walked past me.
As I followed him, I lowered the saber. My bra slid down its blade and fell off. I stepped over it.
At the edge of the pool, I stood a couple of yards to Steve’s left. The water was brightly lighted, and looked pale blue because of the pool’s blue tiles. The hot night breeze ruffled its surface.
“Thar she blows!” he called out, and pointed.
Elroy’s head had dropped into the pool at the shallow end. But it hadn’t stayed there. It had wandered to the deep end, where it now rested under about twelve feet of water. It seemed to be face-down as if giving the drain a close inspection.
“Now we have a problem,” Steve said.
“Do we?”
“Who goes down for it?”
“You do.”
“Well, I don’t believe the cord is long enough. Not if you’re planning to stand here and hold it.”
“We’ll see. Move over that way,” I told him, and gestured to the right with my saber. “We’ll get as close as we can.”
We both walked along the edge until Steve was adjacent to Elroy’s head.
“We’re still not close enough,” he said. “The cord’s too short.”
“Go anyway.”
“If you say so.” With that, he suddenly dived off the edge.
Before he even hit the water, I was leaping out. I held the saber high in my right hand, the end of the cord low in my left. Feet first, I plunged deep.
Through a frothy curtain of bubbles, I saw Steve trying for the bottom. He was in front of me and lower in the water, nearly vertical, kicking and reaching. His shorts had almost come off in the dive. You could see a few inches of his butt crack. From neck to rump, his skin looked very pale and stark and wavery in the underwater lights.
Near his left ankle, his kicking flung the cord this way and that. But he still had slack.
And he still had slack when his right hand thrust down and clutched Elroy by the hair. Hanging on to the head, he curved away from the bottom and began to rise.
Which is when I tried to come up.
And couldn’t.
For one thing, the saber weighed me down. For another, I held the cord in one hand and the saber in the other, leaving no hand free to paddle at the water. Though I struggled to kick my way to the surface, I didn’t seem to be making any progress.
I didn’t panic, though.
I was in no danger of drowning.
Before letting that happen, I would empty my hands and swim to safety.
But what kind of safety would it be if I left the saber at the bottom of the pool?
Just let go of the cord, I told myself.
But I kept my grip on it.
You’ve gotta let go!
Can’t! He’ll get away!
Suddenly the cord jerked and nearly flew out of my hand. I squeezed hard and kept hold of it by the plug.
The cord began to tow me through the water.
Above me but still below the surface, Steve was swimming toward the shallow end of the pool. He must’ve known he was pulling me along behind him, but he didn’t do anything about it.
He had no idea, I’m sure, that he was helping me.
If he’d known, he would’ve stayed in the deep water. That would’ve forced me to drop the cord or the saber or both.
But he towed me to safety.
Just when I was starting to ache for a breath of air, the bottom of the pool suddenly sloped up sharply under me. I tried to lower my legs and stand up. I couldn’t manage it, though, with Steve still pulling me forward.
Then he stopped.
I planted my feet on the tile bottom and burst out of the water, gasping for breath and thrusting my saber high. I blinked my eyes clear.
I was standing in water high enough to touch the undersides of my breasts. Ahead of me, Steve turned around in water up to his waist.
The light shimmered on his slim body. He hadn’t lost his shorts, but they were down below the pool’s surface. So was Elroy’s head. They wavered and undulated the way things do when they’re under water.
“Have a nice ride?” he asked.
“Yeah, thanks.”
He lifted Elroy’s head by its hair. It came up looking at me, water spilling down its face, its eyes and mouth wide open.
When the head was level with Steve’s shoulders, he changed his hold on it. He put his left hand under the pulpy neck to act as a platform. Then his right hand let go of the hair and gripped the back of Elroy’s head.
He turned the face toward himself. “And how did
you
like the ride, Elroy?”
“It was just super, Stevie boy,”
Steve responded on Elroy’s behalf, speaking in an enthusiastic nasal voice and moving his lips like a lousy ventriloquist.
“Cut it out,” I said.
“Stevie alweady cut if OFF, and boy did it hoit! Ouch!”
“That’s okay, Elroy,” I said, glaring at Steve. “In about two seconds, I’ll cut off
Steve’s
head. You’ll like that, won’t you?”
“Oh, dear me, yes! Give him a taste of steel, the bwute!”
Ignoring Elroy, Steve said to me, “You don’t want to cut off my head. Not here in the pool. Think of the mess. Aside from the blood, you’d have two heads and a body to haul out.”
“Just turn around and get moving. I want to get done with all this.”
“Aye-aye.” He started backing away from me. I followed, taking a few strides into shallower water.
The level had slipped down to my waist when he suddenly stopped and frowned at Elroy’s head. “What’s that? A secret?” He brought the head close to his ear and pretended to listen. He nodded. Then he said, “No, I’m not going to ask her that.
You
ask her.”
He swiveled Elroy’s head so it faced me again.
“Stop this,” I said, “and get out of the pool right now.”
“But Elroy wants to ask you something.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Get out.”
“Pwease?”
Elroy begged.
“Steve!”
“I wubb you, honey. I wub you so bad. Will you wet me kiss you?”
“Shit. Knock it off, Steve. I’m warning you.” I raised the saber.
“Juss one wittow kiss on the wips?”
Elroy asked.
And Steve hurled the head straight at my face.
I slashed at it, trying to knock it aside. But I swung too soon. The tip of my blade whipped across Elroy’s gaping mouth, slicing through both cheeks. His mouth jumped wide open as if he suddenly wanted to take a really
big
bite out of me.
I flung up my left arm in front of my face and started to twist away.
The head crashed against my forearm.
The electrical cord jerked and flew out of my hand.
The head caromed off the bottom of my arm. I looked down just as Elroy’s chin punched me in the solar plexus, snapping his mouth shut. I grunted with the sudden pain. He fell almost straight down, gazing up at me from between my breasts until he plopped into the water in front of my belly.
As he sank, I waded backward, doubling over and fighting for a breath.
I knew that I’d lost hold of the cord. But the place where Elroy had struck me is almost like your crazy bone, only worse. Blasted with pain, my main worry was staying on my feet.
Besides, I still had the saber.
And Steve wasn’t attacking me, anyway.
While I stood there, hunched over and struggling for a breath, Steve waded for the end of the pool. The shallow end had underwater stairs at the corner nearer to the house, but he ignored them and charged straight forward. He came to the wall, slapped its top with both hands and lunged up. Water sluiced down his body. His shorts dropped, baring his ass and trapping his legs from the knees down. As he tried to spring to his feet, the shorts seemed to tackle him. He let out a yelp and fell sprawling onto the concrete.
By that time, I’d had a few moments to recover.
I still couldn’t take a deep breath, but I no longer felt paralyzed by the blow.
Hunched over and gritting my teeth, I trudged toward the end of the pool.
Steve’s feet were near the edge. The cord from his left ankle dangled down into the water, and I could see its length below the surface, curling toward me like a strange, skinny snake with a three-pronged head.
Grab it!
I tried to hurry, but the water pushed at me as if it had an urgent need to keep me away from the cord. I leaned forward and kneed my way through it.
Steve flipped over onto his back. He sat up. He saw me coming.
Looking somewhat alarmed, he leaned way forward over his outstretched legs, reached to his ankle and grabbed the cord and snatched it toward him.
Under the water, it darted away from me.
I dived for it, leaping as far as I could, slamming myself down through the water, stretching out my left arm.
And got it!
Tweezed the plug between two fingers.
But then it jumped free.
My hand struck the end of the pool. I reached up out of the water, pawing for the cord, but didn’t touch it.
Fast as I could, I got my feet under me and stood up.
Blinking water from my eyes, I saw Steve staggering backward away from the pool. He held the cord in his teeth. It swayed in front of him, its other end still attached to his ankle. His hands were almost finished tugging up his shorts. His penis vanished under the waistband.
I could’ve been on him in a couple of seconds, except for the saber.
It’s hard to climb out of a pool with a sword in your hand.
I wasn’t about to let go of it, though.
I guess I could’ve gone for the stairs, but that probably would’ve taken even longer than climbing out the awkward way I did, boosting myself over the edge with the saber clutched in my right hand.
Steve never took his eyes off me. He backed farther and farther away while he watched my progress. He even took a few seconds, after his shorts were up, to tighten his belt.
As I got to my feet, he took the cord out of his teeth.
Holding it in his left hand, he whirled around and broke into a run.
“Stop!” I yelled.
Of course, he didn’t stop. Why should he?
I went after him.
We sprinted over the warm dewy grass, Steve well ahead of me. I held the saber overhead, ready to strike him down.
If I could only get close enough.
Being built like “a brick shithouse” is never a picnic. But it’s a disaster when you’re trying to chase someone. You want to be tall and slim and lithe. You want to be flat. And quick.
I didn’t stand a chance of catching Steve.
The distance between us kept stretching.
I didn’t give up, though. I stayed after him, running as hard as I could, saber waving high and breasts leaping, until he vanished into Miller’s Woods.
Lowering the saber until its tip met the ground, I slouched and huffed for air and didn’t go any farther.
My lungs ached from the hard run.
My legs felt heavy, as if loaded with granite.
My heart raced like crazy.
I was drenched. A combination of sweat and pool water, probably. It spilled down my body, dribbles sliding down my skin, all over, tickling me. Drops fell from the tips of my nose and chin and breasts. I used a hand to wipe my face, but it wasn’t much help.
I was worn out.
Vulnerable.
Saber or no saber, I would’ve been easy prey for Steve if he doubled back and jumped me. I was too exhausted. And much too close to the edge of the woods.
When I’d recovered a little, I trudged backward. I was too tired to move quickly, but I put more and more distance between myself and the woods.
I wanted to lie down on the grass.
The grass would make me itchy, though.
So I kept moving, and didn’t stop until I reached the apron of the pool. There, I eased myself down and stretched out on the warm concrete. It felt awfully hard against the back of my head. It didn’t feel that great under my heels, either. Otherwise, though, it felt okay. I liked that it was solid and dry.
I held on to the saber, my right arm on the concrete by my side, the blade resting across my thigh.
This isn’t so bad, I thought. This is pretty nice.
But what do I do now?
Steve got away
.
I got away.
We both escaped from each other.
After such a close call, Steve probably wouldn’t be coming back. And he wasn’t likely to tell any tales, since he’s the one who’d murdered Elroy.
Just let him go. Call it even.