After The Apocalypse (Book 2): Church of Chaos (19 page)

“Seth, I'm sorry.” I really didn't know what to say.

“I don't have much faith in the prophecies,” he said. “I'm going after Bud Moon because it's the right thing to do. He's killing innocent people who have no idea what’s happening to them until it's too late.”

“We understand,” Gauge said.

Seth looked at him doubtfully. “You understand?”

“You're doing what you can to try to help the people you can help. It's not about faith or god. It's not about a prophecy. It's not about power. It's just easier to live with yourself if you know you did what you could to stop the everyday horrors of life,” Gauge said. “You do realize you're talking to a guy who spent the last 2 years protesting outside the meat market. I couldn't stop the flesh-brokers. I couldn't shut down the meat market. But I figured that if I could make a couple people change their mind about killing humans for meat, then at least I'd made a difference.”

Seth nodded. “You may not be able to make a difference for everybody, but you make a difference for a few people. It's better than doing nothing.”

The two of them exchanged a perfect look of understanding. I leaned against Seth's shoulder. We were still holding hands.

For a moment, none of us spoke. Eventually Seth broke the silence. “You aren't going to like what you have to do to become changed.”

“I figure it's got to be something horribly unpleasant,” Gauge admitted. “Otherwise Bud Moon would have figured out how to do it properly by now.”

Seth smirked. “Let's just say it's not an experience you'll want to repeat.”

“But I'll be immune to zombies and to infections, correct?”

Seth nodded.

“I want to do it,” Gauge said.

“It can't be undone.”

“I don't have a better option,” Gauge said. “Will you change me or not?”

“I'll change you,” Seth said. “You'd be an asset to the Church.”

“Thank you,” Gauge's jaw was set in a tight line. I didn't envy the choice he'd just made. To be honest, the very idea of changing terrified me.

Seth stood up, pulling me to my feet beside him in the same movement. “Come on. We've done enough talking. Time to get back to saving the world.”

Gauge snorted. “You mean 'time to get back to getting ourselves killed'?”

“I'm being optimistic,” Seth said. “After all, if Pilar's prophecy turned out to be true, maybe there is some hope for the rest the prophecies?”

“Maybe,” Gauge agreed.

“Or maybe we're all going to get eaten by super-zombies,” I said.

Seth and I exchanged a look and then I burst into giggles. Before I knew it, we were all laughing. Even knowing that we would soon be heading off to face the very worst of our nightmares, it still felt good to laugh.

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“Are you scared?” I asked Gauge.

“Terrified,” he confirmed.

“It's not too late for you to change your mind,” I said.

“Seth says I might already be changed and not even know it.” Gauge held the blade of a small, wickedly sharp knife just above the soft inner skin of his forearm.

“Is that possible?” It was a scary thought.

Gauge pressed the tip of the knife down into his skin. Blood welled up from the wound as he drew a long, deep line through his own flesh. “He told me to make sure to cut deep. He says shallow wounds will still heal even if you are changed. He says its the deep wounds that tell the truth.”

I watched the blood continue to pour of the cut. It ran down his arm in streams.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“I don't think Seth feels pain,” I said.

“I don't think that particular quality is a part of the change itself. I think the inability to feel pain is part of Seth's act.” Gauge nearly smiled as he used the knife to make a second cut on his arm. This one was perpendicular to the first cut. He'd turned the cuts into the symbol of a cross. The mark of the Church of Chaos.

I turned away so I didn't have to watch him bleed.

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