After the Christmas Party (18 page)

“I don’t like you after all.” Trinity jumped out and headed to her car.

He felt a first-class jerk. How had the day gone so wrong? Why was he going after her when it would be better to just let her leave? They had no future. Yet he couldn’t let her go.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, putting his hand over the car door to prevent her from being able to open it.

“Anywhere you aren’t,” she spat at him.

“Trinity, why are you doing this?”

Her? Trinity fumed. He was trying to blame this on her? Him and his goody-two-shoes, perfect, rich, Christmas-loving family could just get over themselves. Okay, so she’d liked his family, had enjoyed playing cards with his sisters, mother and aunt, had found herself thinking that this was how families should be. How Christmas should be.

She’d longed to be a real part of his family, had been saddened that she would always be on the outside of such family moments, of real Christmas joy.

But that didn’t give Riley reason to blame her for the day going wrong. She’d told him she hadn’t wanted to go and he’d finagled her into doing so and then blamed
her when things hadn’t gone as he’d hoped. Why was that her fault?

She’d taken blame For enough things during her life. For her mother’s problems. For her father leaving. For Chase finding her lacking. For Chase leaving her. She refused to take blame any more for not being what someone thought she should be.

“Because I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be with you. I didn’t from the beginning but I got caught up in this fairy-tale you tried to create. Well, guess what, Riley? Fairy-tales don’t exist. They don’t come true. Not everyone gets a Prince Charming or a happily-ever-after or even a pair of pink hightops. The whole concept of happily-ever-after is as fake as…as Santa Claus himself.”

“You really believe that?”

She nodded, saw the look of disgust in his eyes, the disappointment. No doubt she’d been one big disappointment for him. From last night through today.

“I also believe that I don’t want to see you any more. Just leave me alone, please. We’re finished.” She shoved past him and got into her car.

This time he didn’t try to stop her.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

T
HROUGH HER TEAR-CRAZED
haze, Trinity realized she’d left her cat at Riley’s. How could she have forgotten Casper?

Then again, she couldn’t exactly be faulted for not thinking rationally. She’d just had a crazy few hours.

She’d had sex, amazing sex that had proved at least on one count Chase had been wrong. She wasn’t frigid. She might not be a dynamo in bed, but she at least now knew what all the fuss was about.

She’d met Riley’s family. She’d liked them, regretted that she’d probably never see again the wonderful women she’d come to know.

She’d realized she was in love with Riley and then proceeded to fight with him all day.

Christmas. What a blasted day! A day when everything seemed to always go wrong. Only could she really blame everything that had gone wrong today on the holiday?

She’d expected everything to go wrong and had pretty much rejected his sweet, thoughtful gifts. He was right.

She’d
been the problem.

How could she have been so blind?

How could she have dirtied something so good? Because Riley was good to her. Good for her. He’d genuinely liked her. Genuinely wanted her. Thinking back to how he’d looked at her, how he’d held her and touched her, she had to wonder if maybe he genuinely loved her.

She’d acted immature, scared, prickly. All because she’d fallen in love and didn’t want to be hurt again. In the process she’d been the catalyst that had set the disastrous domino effect into play.

Today she’d been a one-woman demolition crew.

She would see him again. He had her cat. They worked together.

But before she saw him again, she needed to get her head straight. Needed to figure out who she was and what she wanted.

She went up to her apartment, still lost in thought about what she needed to do next. Was she woman enough to trust Riley? To trust in him? Because if she wasn’t, then she just needed to let him go, let this be the end rather than continually looking for problems and dragging him down in the process.

If she was woman enough to trust him, if he’d forgive her for today, which was questionable, then what? Where did they go from there?

Distracted, she unlocked her apartment door and stepped inside, only to rub her eyes in disbelief at what she saw.

A nine-foot tree dominated her living room.

A gorgeous tree decorated with twinkling white lights and silver and glass ornaments.

Perhaps he’d meant the angel ornament he’d given her at breakfast to go at the top, but she didn’t see how as the tree was amazingly decorated. At the top, brushing
against her ceiling, was the silver star they’d seen at the shopping mall. The one that was so reminiscent of the one from her childhood classroom when Christmas had been magical to her.

Riley paid attention to details.

She walked over, touched a clear plastic ornament. A princess ornament. The entire tree was decorated with various princess paraphernalia. Cartoon princesses. A pumpkin coach. Tiny glass slippers. A magic wand. A crown.

A single medium-sized package was under the tree.

How had he done this?

When had he done this?

Last night. When she’d woken up and he hadn’t been there. He’d been here. At her house. Decorating. Trying to bring the magic of Christmas into her life.

He’d played Santa.

A tear slid down her cheek.

She plopped down on the floor, picked up the package. A tag read, “Don’t open until December 25th”.

Being careful not to tear the paper, she undid piece of tape after piece of tape. A shiny silver box was inside. She lifted the lid, moved away white tissue paper.

Her eyes widened at what she saw. “Wow.”

She kicked off her shoes. Holding her breath in anticipation, she slipped her foot into one pink hightop and admired the perfect fit. Oh, yeah, the man paid attention.

“I had to guess your size.”

“Riley.” She spun towards the door. Her open door. She’d been so distracted when she’d stepped inside that she hadn’t closed it. He stood there, filling up the doorway with her cat in his arms.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but the door was open.”

Her cheeks flushed. With joy that he was there. She didn’t need the magic of Christmas in her life.

She needed Riley, because he made every day magic.

He
was
magic.

“You’re not interrupting. Not really.” Not at all. Never had she been happier to see anyone. Would he think her crazy if she ran and threw herself at him? Wrapped her arms around his neck? Her legs around his waist?

“I brought Casper.” He glanced around, looked awkward then set the squirming cat down. Casper took off towards the tree, intent to check out the new items invading her space.

They both watched the cat sniff and check out the tree, the open package, and then settle into the box lid as if it was the most comfortable of beds.

Riley put his hands in his pants pockets. “I won’t keep you.”

He turned to go. Every fiber of her being screamed to stop him. To risk everything and fight for this man. Whatever came, pain, loss, suffering, a single moment in his arms was worth taking that risk.

“Please do,” she called out to his retreating back.

He turned, his forehead wrinkled. “What?”

She stood, took a deep breath. “Please do keep me, Riley.”

She wanted him to keep her for ever.

“I don’t understand.”

She took a step towards him then another, until she stood right in front of him, one shoe on, one shoe off. She stared up into his beautiful blue eyes.

“I want you to keep me, Riley. For ever.”

He regarded her for a moment. “What are you saying, Trinity?”

“That I’m an idiot who is so scared that you won’t love me, that you will leave me, that I’ve made it impossible for you to love me and all too probable that you’d leave.”

“You pushed me away.”

She nodded.

“Why?”

“Because I was scared of how I feel about you.”

“Which is?”

“I feel as if I can’t breathe when you aren’t around.”

Some of the tension around his eyes started to ease. “And?”

“And as if I can’t breathe when you’re around because you take my breath away.”

“Keep going,” he insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. But his eyes had lost the cloudiness that had hidden away the sparkle she loved. Now that sparkle had come back and gave her strength. If she wanted this, wanted him, she was going to have to confront her fears, not let them overpower her the way they had for the entire day, for years. “You aren’t going to make this easy, are you?”

“Lady, when I finally have you admitting that you care about me and want me in your life, you’d better believe that I’m going to keep pushing.”

“I…” She shrugged. “I didn’t know why you were so nice to me, why you wanted me, why you chose me. I thought maybe I was just another charity case.”

“Why wouldn’t I choose you? You’re everything to me. All day I’ve kidded myself that we were a mistake, that we should just call it quits, that I could let you go because I’m not a forever kind of man. But from the
time you drove away, I knew I couldn’t ever call it quits with you.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what to do, Trinity. I never saw myself as marrying or having kids. Not with my career. I didn’t want to be one of those dads.” He paused. “I didn’t want to be my dad.”

“Your dad?” she asked, reeling at all he’d admitted, reeling that he’d said he loved her.

“He worked all the time, was always gone. That’s why Christmas is so special to my family. It was the one and only time of the year that my dad didn’t work. We had a day of him being with us, playing with us, with us being the center of his attention for an entire day. When the holiday was over, he was back at work and we rarely saw him until the following Christmas. I don’t mean to whine. I know I was blessed. He was a good man, provided a good living for his family.” Riley shrugged. “It’s just that it seemed he was only there as part of our family at Christmas.”

“Him working so hard allowed your mother to always be there for you kids, though.”

“You’re right,” Riley agreed. “I know that in my head.”

“But in your heart?”

“In my heart, I don’t want to be like him.”

“Which is?”

“A husband whose wife was lonely. A father whose children longed for his presence. A man I only have good memories of from Christmas.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and meant it. “But at least you do have those memories. And now I understand why Christmas is so important to you, to your family.”

Riley nodded. “The first few Christmases after he’d
died, my mother was devastated. My brother and sisters and I decided we were going to make sure to always be there for Christmas, to spend a good portion of the day with her, to bring her as much joy as possible.”

“I’d say you were a success. She couldn’t stop smiling and laughing today.”

“But the other woman I wanted to bring as much joy as possible to wasn’t smiling and laughing today. Not with me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugged him tightly to her. “I’m sorry, Riley. I was confused, and last night…last night blew me away.”

“Last night blew both of us away.” He touched her cheek. “I’ve been doing all the chasing, Trinity, and you’ve been doing a lot of running.” He gestured to her gift. “You said you weren’t a glass slipper kind of girl, that you wanted pink hightops so you could run. When you need to run, run to me, Trinity.”

Her eyes misted and she put her palms against his face. “It may take me a while to get my head on straight at times, but I will always run to you. You’re my star.”

He stared down at her in question.

“The star that leads me where I need to be.”

He smiled. “I hope so.”

She took a deep breath, rested her forehead against his chin. “For however long you want me, I’m yours, Riley.”

“Then you’re going to be mine for ever.” He took her in his arms, kissed her. “Please, don’t ever shut me out again the way you did today. My youngest sister could tell I was in love with you. She commented on how much when we were talking today.”

That was what his sister had said?

“You told her that you’d made a mistake, that you regretted bringing me.”

“You heard that?” He hugged her. “Our timing was off. We needed today, just you and me figuring out what happened last night and making sure we didn’t do anything to mess up it happening again and again. But I couldn’t cancel Christmas with my family. I just shouldn’t have coerced you into going with me.”

“I understand. I wouldn’t have wanted you to have canceled. As a matter of fact, what I kept thinking was that I wanted what you had. That I wanted to be a part of that family, to experience the warmth and love of what Christmas should be.” She stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You are what Christmas and love should be.”

Riley kissed her long and hard. “My heart is yours, princess. I don’t have all the answers to our future, but I’m yours every day for the rest of my life.”

Her breath caught. “Really?”

“Really.” His eyes catching on something behind her, he swept her up off her feet, carried her over to the tree then sat her down. “There’s something I want to do.”

Seeing what his gaze had caught on, she knew what he was going to do. Her heart swelled.

He pulled a chair over and she automatically sat down. He dropped to one knee and picked up the other hightop.

“Thank you for this.” She spread out her arms towards the tree. “You make a great Santa.”

He shook his head. “Wrong guy.”

She arched a brow, not quite sure what he meant.

“I’m not going for Santa in your life.”

“What are you going for in my life?”

He grinned and slipped the other shoe onto her foot. “I’m your Prince Charming, of course. Your right Prince Charming.”