After Tuesday (30 page)

“Okay.”

“I’ll take her,” Brent offers.

“You need to get home,” I remind him.

“I’ll call my dad and let him know. I told you. They understand.”

“Well, let’s go. Hurry up,” Cody says somewhat rushed before he leaves, closing the door behind him.

***

When we arrive at the hospital, it’s way past visiting hours, but apparently, the staff makes exceptions in cases like this. We’re told my dad can have one visitor at a time, and only family is allowed.

Jas goes in first. About twenty minutes later, when he comes back out, I can see it in his eyes. He has hope, which, in return, gives me hope.

“He wants to see you,” Jas tells me. “He’s waiting.”

“All right.” I’m nervous, but I don’t know why.

“I’ll be here,” Brent assures me, squeezing my hand before letting it go.

I walk alone down the hall. The nurse stands at a computer, just outside my father’s room. Hesitating beside her for a moment, I’m unsure if I want to go in.

“He’s doing much better. He’s talking and coherent,” the nurse states. “We plan to move him as soon as a room becomes available, likely in a few hours.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” I say as I step into his room.

With assistance from the bed, he’s sitting up. There are still tubes attached to him, but it’s nothing too scary. His face is cleaned up as well. He doesn’t look brand new. He doesn’t appear the best he ever has, but he looks better. I’m amazed and relieved by what I see.

“Ruby…” he says.

It comes out so quietly that I’m not sure if I heard him right. I approach, getting closer to hear him better.

Then, he says it again, “Ruby…”

I turn my head and look back through the glass door toward the nurse’s desk. I thought the nurse said he’s coherent. I get the feeling he’s only calling me that because everyone else does.

“Ruby…”

I look back to him.

“Dad, I’m here.” I take his hand in mine. It’s heavy, but when I feel his fingers squeeze, I know he’s with me.

“I’m
so
sorry, kiddo.”

“Are you kidding? I’m so happy that you’re okay.”

“I really messed up, didn’t I?” There are tears in his eyes.

“Don’t worry about that right now. You’re alive. That’s all that matters.”

“No, it isn’t. Jas told me what happened.”

My glassy eyes mirror his own.

“What have I done to you?” he asks anguished.

“Nothing. You’ve done nothing.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” he chokes.

“We can talk about it later. You just get better. Don’t worry about any of that right now.”

“No, I need to talk about this now. Ruby—”

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Let me finish, and I’ll tell you. I really messed up, and I think I need some serious help. I’ve been talking to the nurses, and they’re going to get me in touch with the caseworker about going to rehab. It’ll be like a real rehab where I check in and stay for at least a month. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

“You aren’t doing anything to me.”

“Stop. Yes, I am. You’re my daughter, but at some point, you stopped being the daughter I knew. I think that’s because I stopped being the father you knew. I did that to us, and I think we need a fresh start. We can talk about the past. It’s something I need to deal with, and I owe you that. I lost Tuesday a long time ago, and I have to accept that I’ll never get her back.”

“Yes, you can.” My jaw is shaking.
Don’t give up on that!
I want to scream.

“No, I can’t. I’m so sorry.”

“Dad, I’ll always be Tuesday to you.”

“No, you’ll always be my daughter. I just hope that I can be a better father or, at the very least, a better person.”

It hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m hurt that he wants to give up on the relationship we once had, but maybe that’s for the best. Maybe the only way to move forward is to let go of the past.

I can see the sincerity in his eyes. His hope is a promise to himself and to me. Maybe this is an awakening for him. Maybe he’s still delirious, but I don’t think so.

I heard a similar speech before that left me feeling unsure, but now, I don’t feel that at all. After feeling like I lost everything, there’s nothing left to feel but hope for the future.
If I don’t believe that, then how else can we ever move on?

“I’ve missed you.” I crumble into his arms, holding him tight. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

“Me, too, because I would have missed seeing you.”

I stay in his room for a little while longer. Eventually, he begins to drift off to sleep. When he’s passed out, I stay, watching him rest. I’ve watched him sleeping so many times before, but those times were laced with fear and disgust. This time is laced with hope and possibilities.

***

When I reach the waiting area, Brent, Cody and Jas are sitting and talking together. It makes me smile a little to see Brent fitting in so easily into all the pieces of my life.  

“So?” Brent inquires when he sees me enter the room.

“He’s okay. He’s gonna be okay.” I feel the relief flood over me through my tears. I look to Jas and Cody. “He says he’s going to rehab.”

Jas and Cody look at each other.

“That’s good,” Jas states with his eyes still on Cody.

“He said he wants to check in to a facility,” I add.

“Sounds like a good step,” Brent says to me.

“Yeah. It does. I’m just so relieved.”

“I think we all are,” Cody adds.

It looks like my father is going to make it. He wants to get better and change. This time, I think we’re all on board to help make that happen.
I hope.

***

About an hour later, a nurse comes out to let us know that my dad is being transferred to a new room upstairs. We gather our things and head up to wait for him on the new floor.

I see him as they wheel him down the hall towards us. He’s lethargic for the most part, but they tell us that is normal due to his condition. After he’s settled in, we are assured that he’s stable for the night. Before we leave, we make sure to get the visiting hours for the floor.

When we reach the lobby, it’s nearly five in the morning.

Jas turns to all of us. “Well, it looks like he’s gonna be fine. It’s late…or early, I guess, so we should all go home and get some rest. Ruby, you can ride with us if you want.”

“If it’s all right, I’d like to drive her home,” Brent interjects. “I’d like to take her to breakfast first.”

“Sure,” Jas says. “See you soon, Ruby.”

He and Cody then leave together through the doors.

“What about your parents?” I ask with concern. After almost losing my only father, parents seem so much more important.

“I already told them I would be out all night. They know what’s going on, and they know where I am. They’re probably sleeping now, but I’ll send them a text. All right?”

We walk to his car and drive back to town. Most restaurants that serve breakfast don’t open for another hour, so I have no idea where we’re going. I don’t ask either because I trust him.

When we pull into his family’s undeveloped lot, I probably should be surprised, but I’m not. Pulling up close to the lake, he turns off the car, gets out, and opens the trunk. Circling around the car to my side, with a blanket in hand, he opens the door for me.

We walk together to the tree where the canoe is tied and floating in the frigid morning waters. Like it’s second nature, I get in with him behind me, and we push off across the dark lake. The sky is just turning gray from the start of the early sunrise.

We don’t get far before I hear Brent’s paddle pull up from the water. There’s no set destination. We simply float.

After the calm of our surroundings seeps into my soul, I turn around to see Brent smiling contentedly into the sky. Moving his gaze to me, he puts down the paddle and sits on the floor of the canoe.

“Sit with me?” he asks.

I put down my paddle and join him, sitting between his legs. With my back to his chest, he eases his body down further, so we’re almost horizontal, looking up to the fading stars. When I feel a blanket come across my chest, I help to push it down to cover us both. I can feel the water lapping gently underneath the canoe, softly swaying it from side to side.

The peace I feel in his arms is overwhelming. He has wanted to be here for me the whole time, never letting me fall. On the lake, the place where he knows I feel most at home, is nothing compared to the comfort of his embrace. Mother Nature might bring me peace, but Brent’s love makes me whole.

In the beginning, I kept him and everyone else in the dark, banking only on myself to find the light. Now, I realize that I need the light of others to find my way out of the dark.

“Thank you for being there,” I say faintly as my eyes begin to close from a lack of sleep. “Here.”

“Of course.”

His arms pull me in tight.
I love this feeling.

“Not just today or the past couple of days,” I add.

“I know.” His lips touch the top of my head. “I knew what you meant.”

Things might or might not go well with my dad. Only time will tell. This time around though, I was able to make it with help, with trust, with hope, and with people who love me. Before, I was a fool to think that I had to do everything on my own. I know now that there are always people there to help when I need it, and I’ve been lucky enough to find someone I love who loves me back.
I am one of those lucky people.

“Sometimes,” I muse with my eyes closed, “I wonder how I got lucky enough to have you in my life.”

Brent turns me in his arms, so I’m lying on top of him.

Face to face, he tells me, “It’s because you let me find you.”

Epilogue

Six Months Later

I’m worried she told him. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
We had a deal.

“No, of course, not. When could I anyhow? You just told me yesterday,” Lexi barks back.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just kind of nervous.”

“Don’t be. You should be happy you got in. Whatever happens, it’ll all work out.”

“I know. I know you’re right.”
C’mon, Ruby, it will work out.
“Do you know where he chose?”

“No! You know he wouldn’t tell me. I tried to get it out of him. Seriously, you two are both so stubborn. Stop worrying.”

“I know. You’re right. Congrats on DePaul by the way. That’s awesome.”

“It’s more than awesome! I’ll get to see you. We’re going to have so much fun in Chicago.”

“I know! I can’t wait.” I look at the clock on my bedroom wall.
Crap!
“Hey, Lexi, I have to go. Brent will be here any minute. Sorry.”

“Well, call me later and let me know how it goes.”

“Oh, I will.”

We end the call, and I hurry out to the kitchen to grab my bag off the counter. My dad is sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper, while Jas is sitting across from him, playing with his phone. My dad folds up the paper and turns in his seat to face me.

“So, today’s the big reveal day, right?”

“Yep, today’s the day.”

He stands up and walks over to me. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he assures me, “Well, however it goes, I know you two will be fine.”

“You think so?”

His recent hope and clarity are somewhat inspiring.

“Ruby…”

I like hearing him call me that.

“Just remember, no matter what, it’s not the end of the world.”

“I know,” I agree, not wholeheartedly though. “It’s the anticipation. It’s killing me.”

“Well, it won’t last forever,” Jas adds with a bit of a humor.

Maybe I am being a little too dramatic.

The doorbell rings.
That must be Brent.

“I’ll get it,” my dad says, eyes shining brightly when he smiles.

He goes to open the front door with me following on his heels. I grab my coat and a hat from the closet and put them both on. It’s April, but it’s still cold out.

“C’mon in, Brent.”

My dad pulls open the door more, so Brent can enter. He’s dressed well for the weather, too. He’s wearing his letterman jacket—
its resemblance to a uniform is a total turn on
—along with a hat and gloves.

“Thanks,” Brent says.

“Hey, Brent!” Jas calls from the kitchen. “How’s it going?”

“Good. Good.” He turns to me. “Hi.”

That’s right. That smile still gives me chills.

“All right, well, I guess we’re going.” I peck my dad on the cheek. “See ya.”

My dad has tears swimming in his eyes, but they’re not enough to break the threshold. He’s always been somewhat emotional, and lately, he’s been wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“I’m proud of you,” my dad mumbles, trying not to cry.

“Thanks,” I say with a smile.

“See you two later.”

Brent and I walk to his car, but he stops halfway there.

“What?” I ask.

His playful grin tells me he has something up his sleeve. Brent then proceeds to moonwalk.
He’s flipping moonwalking to the car. Are you kidding me? He won’t stop!
I cross my arms over my chest as I pop out my hip. I’m trying really hard to look good and pissed off, but he looks so ridiculous that my lips can barely contain the laughter.

When he finally finishes his show of the backward idiot slide, he jogs back over to where I’m standing and kisses me on the cheek.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

Brent plants a kiss on my other cheek and then steps back, pouting his lower lip.

“C’mon, join us on the dark side. You know you want to. Michael is calling you. He says he’ll forgive you if you can’t moonwalk.”

Those puppy-dog eyes don’t hide the sarcasm he’s trying so hard to disguise.

“Never. You look ridiculous. You know that, right?” Stepping forward, I put my arms around his shoulders, touching my nose to his.

“So, this isn’t a turn-on for you? You don’t like my sweet moves?”

“Oh, I like a lot of things about you, but save the moonwalking for, uh…never.”