Aftermath (22 page)

Checking the time, he noticed the group session would end soon, and he hoped to get a minute alone with Cam before he had to drag his own ass up to Gale's office. Because these past days had been fucking exhausting, and he missed Cam. He missed him a lot.

On a few occasions, he'd thought about telling Gale about his new…
could it be called a relationship?…
whatever it was, with Cam, but he'd decided not to. At least not yet. It was so new, and it was a safe haven he wanted to keep to himself for now. Maybe if he'd considered it to be unhealthy to be with Cam, Austin would speak up, but he couldn’t.

It wasn’t like he had to see Cam every hour of the day. He didn’t feel particularly clingy or needy; he didn’t get anxious when Cam left the house or anything. He just wanted…he wanted them to be together. Spend their nights together, be closer than a phone call away, and have the same place to call home. He wasn’t ready for it yet, and he had to think of Riley, too, but it was what he ultimately wanted—

Cam opened the passenger door and got in before Austin could finish his thought.

"Fuck, you scared me." Austin blew out a breath. Turning in his seat, he took in the mouthwatering sight he'd missed. "How did the session go?" He wanted to reach out, but this was the first time they were out in public since…well, since they'd fucked. Austin wasn’t sure what was okay to do.

They were at the far end of the parking lot, though—several spots available between Cam's Camaro and the next car—so he supposed it was safe…

"It went," was all Cam said, and he wasn’t struggling internally. He leaned over the console and the cup holders and pulled Austin in for a hard kiss. "You're in a suit," he mumbled, palming Austin's crotch.

"Christ," Austin hissed. Despite his shock, he bucked his hips into Cam's touch. It was all instinctual. "I—I thought I'd skip the beach bum look for when I looked at the apartment." He abandoned all words and deepened the kiss. There were fifteen minutes until his session with Gale; he was going to make the most of it. "Let me just roll up the windows." Now he wished there was such a thing as medical exemption for the tint laws in Cali; alas, there wasn’t. It wouldn’t be completely secluded, but the windows were still partially tinted.

"Did you get the place?" Cam asked huskily as Austin went for the fly on his jeans. "No, fuck that." He pushed Austin back and started unbuckling Austin's belt. Then he unzipped his fancy suit pants. "Now answer my fucking question."

"I, ah—" Austin groaned when Cam pulled out his semi-hard cock. "Shit. Yeah, I got it. Signed a six-month lease and paid the first month's rent—
ahh
." Cam leaned down and swallowed him whole. "
Ohhh
."

How many times in the past few days had he thought about this? Austin had lost count. Sliding off his shades, he placed them on the dashboard to see Cam better. Then he threaded his fingers through Cam's hair and just focused on his lover's amazing mouth.

"Suck me slowly," Austin murmured. By now, he was rock hard and hitting the back of Cam's throat with each pass. "Fucking perfect." He groaned and guided their movements. His hips thrust upward, and he pushed past Cam's wet, soft lips, feeling his cock slide along Cam's tongue. "Damn," he moaned. "I could've used you in my showers." The fantasies didn’t come close to the real thing.

"Oh, yeah?" Cam kissed and licked the length, reaching Austin's sac. He kissed and licked there, too. And sucked. "Don't hold out on me. Tell me what you've thought about."

It was pretty damn difficult to think, though. "Uh…" Austin's eyes were fixed on Cam's mouth. "About fucking you. I want to be inside you again." His head lolled back against the headrest as Cam sucked him in once more and hummed. "I can't stop thinking about you." He also wanted Cam to fuck him. In his morning showers, Austin had released in thick streams of come, a tight grip on his erection and fingers in his ass—all at the thought of Cam taking him. "I want you inside me, too," he admitted in a lust-filled voice. And this time, Cam moaned around him and sped up. He tightened his lips, which drove Austin to the brink of insanity.

It had hurt at first to finger himself, but fantasies about Cam doing it had made Austin love it. First one, while he made himself hard, then two as he stroked roughly toward a release, then three as he came against the shower wall.

When his body tensed up without warning, waves of heat washing through him, he barely got a word out before his climax took over. But Cam had obviously sensed it. While Austin rocked deeper into his mouth, Cam swallowed and kept sucking. His tongue swirled around the head, and his teeth grazed teasingly along the tight skin.

"Goddamn…" Having unconsciously held his breath, Austin started to pant. He slumped in his seat as Cam tucked him back into his boxer briefs and zipped up his pants. In an oddly tender gesture, he also grabbed Austin's hand and kissed it—and he noticed why.

It was the left ring finger he'd kissed. Austin shivered, warmth surging inside him. There was no ring there anymore. He'd taken it off when he'd woken up on Sunday morning, and now only a faint tan line reminded him of the woman who'd given him Riley.

Gently grasping Cam's chin, Austin tried to make him look up. "Look at me, baby."

"Not yet," Cam said, straightening in his seat. He adjusted his erection and stared at the brick building which they were parked in front of. Austin didn’t pressure him, knowing eye contact wasn’t always easy for him. "You're still coming over tonight?"

Austin nodded slowly even though Cam didn’t face him. "If it's all right with you." He'd do anything to get inside Cam's head right now. Something was clearly on his mind.

Cam nodded jerkily and opened the car door. "More than all right. I'll see you later." Without another word, Cam left Austin's car and got into his own.

Unbeknownst to Austin, Cam had just realized that he was, in fact, in love.

It had clicked when he'd seen that ring finger bare.

And it was freaking him out just a bit.

"I have a suggestion for tonight," Austin said, clearing his throat. He threw the pizza crust into the box on the coffee table and shifted on the bed, facing Cam fully. The sheet around his hips parted a little, exposing his thighs.

"Sounds serious." Cam smirked and grabbed another slice of pizza. "Don’t ruin shit now that I'm in a good mood."

Austin snorted a chuckle. "Yeah, you're as jolly as Santa." He shook his head, getting back on track. "Spend the night with me in your bedroom."

In the past two months, a lot had changed. For the better.

Austin liked his new two-bedroom apartment just five minutes away from Cam's house, Riley had made plenty of friends at her new school, things between Austin and Jade were civil, the house had finally been sold, the flashbacks and nightmares had gotten easier to deal with, Riley was in love with her new rat of a dog, Nacho—a black Chihuahua—and Austin was back to work.

He had routines. There were schedules. Sometimes it got hectic, but he made sure there was time to relax, too. He religiously went to all his sessions with Gale, and he'd found a workout regimen that made him feel better. It involved running, swimming, and kickboxing, all of which improved his health, both physically and mentally.

When Riley was with her mother in Delano, Austin barely left Cam's house, and they found plenty of time to see each other when Riley was with friends or had after-school activities. But he wanted more… God, he fucking
longed
for it.

It was last month that Cam had—during sex—mumbled, "I want it all with you." And it had triggered Austin's desires for the same to morph into demanding cravings. Sometimes, it was all he could think about.

He didn’t want to hide his relationship with Cam. Although, hiding wasn’t exactly right. It was just Riley. And Jade, but she didn’t really count anymore, did she?

Austin had told his parents, which was actually a fond memory, at least in comparison to many others who'd "come out." There was no denying that he'd been nervous, mainly because he'd always been close to his mom and dad. If they didn’t approve, it would hurt greatly.

He recalled the tense silence that followed after he admitted that he'd fallen for the man he'd been locked up with. Then his dad had broken the silence.

*

"You know, son, most men who hit their forties battle their little midlife crisis by buying a Porsche." Griffin gave his son a pointed look. "That could work for you, too."

Austin let out a quiet, shaky laugh. He was relieved. If this was the response, he considered himself lucky.

"Oh, honey." Maggie suddenly looked disapproving. "If this is some phase, I hope there's no boy's heart out there you're going to crush."

*

This definitely wasn’t a phase. Austin loved the man next to him beyond words, and now he was finally ready to move on. He wanted Riley to meet him, he wanted silly things like holding Cam's hand in public, and he wanted to make sure it was all heading somewhere.

As stated, he
liked
his apartment. He didn’t love it. And he'd chosen it in Cam's neighborhood for only one reason. To be closer. The apartment was temporary. At least he hoped it was.

"No," Cam eventually said. "I'm not ready. The bedroom's too small—I'll f-feel suffocated."

"Have you even tried?" Austin shifted closer and cupped Cam's cheek. He didn’t force Cam to look him in the eye, but he needed contact. "Gale thinks you should try."

"Fuck what she says," Cam spat out, throwing his pizza slice into the box on the table. "You know, I don’t see why it fucking matters—"

"It matters," Austin insisted quietly. Pushing Cam back against the bed, Austin moved over him, hovering closely. Only a sheet separated their naked bodies. It was Saturday, and their favorite pastime was to fuck each other like crazy and just lounge around. No need for clothes then. "It matters if we want more."

Cam looked up at him strangely. "More?" He scooted up the bed, Austin following, and seemed willing to hear him out. "More what?" There was cautious hope in his eyes.

"Of us," Austin admitted. It was about damn time to lay it all out there. "Let me start by saying that I don't want to renew my lease in four months." He thought that would give them a good amount of time to get used to
more
.

There was only the matter of making things official. Austin had already spoken to Cam's parents on the phone, and while they didn’t know his true label, they weren't stupid. Landon and Jules had figured out the obvious without confirmation. Gale probably had her guesses. His parents knew and wanted to meet Cam.

Yeah, Austin was fucking nervous about it, but he had promised himself not to be content with content anymore. He wanted to take risks in order to get what he yearned for. He wanted to come clean to Riley about the man she only knew as Dad's friend. Not that they'd met yet, but it had been discussed. With both of them. Cam wanted to meet her, and Riley wanted to meet Dad's friend who had a cool dog named Bourbon Mulligan.

"You—" Cam broke off, his mind spinning.

"I promise you I won't push you," Austin murmured. "But will you at least think about it?" He paused, reminding himself that Cam wasn’t made out of glass. He could handle the truth. After all, Austin wasn’t the only one who made progress each day. It was clear that Cam loved his work, and he was putting in many hours at Landon's garage. At home, he was at ease. He liked his space, but he didn’t need to have all the lights on anymore. He hadn't had a cigarette indoors in weeks, and…things were just better. "I want there to be a bedroom for privacy," he continued quietly. "We'd need it if…if we weren't alone in the house." He raised a brow.

"Oh." Cam swallowed. "You want—you want more. That way." He hesitated. "What about Riley?"

"I want you to meet her." He lowered his face and kissed Cam lightly. "As my partner. As someone I want in my life permanently."

At last, Austin didn’t have a single doubt about his feelings and intentions.

There was a time everything had confused him, but even then, he hadn't been able to stay away.

*

"I knew I'd find you here," Austin chuckled, slowly limping toward Cam who was standing just outside the ambulance bay smoking a cigarette. Austin wondered who he'd bribed to be allowed here, and it wasn’t the first time. But they all did everything they could to avoid the press.

Eight days ago when they'd returned to Bakersfield, Austin wasn’t the only one who had collapsed from sheer exhaustion. With news crews camping outside the hospital, the men had been blissfully unaware and sedated. Bullets had been removed, bones had been reset, countless tests had been done, blood had been given, and nutrition was being pumped into them intravenously.

Cam grunted and took a deep drag from his smoke.

They were both wearing protective sunglasses that made them look like freaks, but they were needed. Especially in broad daylight with the sun directly overhead.

"My gums still hurt," Cam muttered, running the tip of his tongue over his front teeth. They felt smooth and clean now, but it was still painful to brush them.

Austin knew the feeling. "Are you nervous?" he wondered as he reached Cam. It felt better now—to be close to his former cellmate. For more than one reason, he was happy to be out of his hospital gown. Now, he tucked his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt; it was all he could do before his hands did something else. Something he couldn’t understand or explain.

"Too many people up there." Cam shrugged one shoulder. "You okay?" He eyed Austin behind his shades.

"Under the circumstances," he answered vaguely.

Truth was, he was far from okay. He felt like a ticking time bomb.

Having Riley update him on the news around the world by reading the paper to him was one thing. It was a whole other matter to listen to Jade go on and on about the police investigation and what had happened in Bakersfield while Austin and the others had been missing. Anger kept building up inside him, and he didn’t know what to do with it.