Authors: Brenda Kennedy
Robert says, “I hope she looks like
you.”
Robert
Leah looks beautiful sitting in the shade
under the tree. I think she blushed when I said I hope our daughter
looks like her. “She’ll be five.” I blurt out.
“
Is that kindergarten
age?”
“
I think it
is.”
“
We’ll have a
five-year-old and a newborn in the same year.”
I still can’t get over that we have a
five-year-old, that our daughter is alive. I hope she’s alive. I
guess I’m assuming she’s hasn’t passed. What will the other family
think when they find out their daughter died? Will they grieve for
her as we did? Will they love her even though they don’t know her?
I love Jamie and I love my unknown daughter. I also love my unborn
baby. You don’t need to know them to love them. They will be just
as in love with Jamie as we are. They will mourn her loss just as
we did and still do.
“
Why do you look so sad?”
Leah asks.
“
Just
thinking.”
“
About
Jamie?”
“
Yes, and how sad it will
be for the other parents when they learn she’s gone.”
I can’t say her biological
parents.
“
We should make copies of
photos, pictures, and relevant documents for
them.”
“
That’s probably a good
idea. I don’t want to part with the originals. In my heart, she’s
still ours.”
“
I know; I feel the same
way.”
We clean up and drive back home. We are both
quiet and I know we are thinking of the baby swap mess. Although I
don’t want to, my mind thinks about how I would feel if I learned
our daughter has passed. Imagine learning your child was switched
at birth, and then killed before you had a chance to meet her. My
heart breaks at the thought. I pray this isn’t the case and I also
pray that the other family will understand how much we loved Jamie
and how devastated we still are from her passing.
“
Do you want to stop for
some ice cream before we go home?” I ask.
“
I would love to, thank
you.”
Later that night, Leah and I discuss making
copies of some of Jamie’s pictures. We decide maybe tomorrow will
be better. To make copies of Jamie’s baby pictures somehow make
finalizes that Jamie isn’t our child and that she never was. Leah
cries and it kills me. I hate when she cries and when she is sad.
All I want to do is make her happy and it makes me feel like a
failure to not be able to do that for her. As much as I want to fix
this, there is no possible way I can. I can make it so it won’t
happen to us again.
“
Do we have permanent
markers?” I ask.
“
In the desk drawer,” Leah
yells from the kitchen. I walk to the desk drawer and open a new
pack of markers. “What are you going to do with that?” Leah
asks.
I open up the pack and mark an X in the palm
of my right hand. I blow on it for a second and try to wipe it off.
When it dries quickly and doesn’t smudge, I smile. I show Leah my
right hand and say, “It’s for the baby.”
She tries not to laugh but fails miserably.
“On both palms and both feet.”
“
Okay, sounds good.” I
smile still trying hard to wipe the marker
off.
“
No foreheads, cheeks, or
face.”
“
Palms and feet,” I repeat
so she knows I understand.
“
Good.”
“
Keep this in your purse,
or in the hospital overnight bag. I don’t want to forget
it.”
Leah takes it from me and places it in her
purse. “Keep it in here, I don’t want it to get lost with the baby
things.”
Leah and I go to bed and read from Jamie’s
story book. She complains of a backache and I wonder is it’s from
sitting on the hard ground today.
The next day, I get up early and get a
workout in before Leah wakes up. I have a lot going on, but I
refuse to slack when it comes to my exercise or the fight with
Kennedy. I plan to walk into the ring and walk out a winner. All of
this stress with Jamie is helping in my workout. I focus on Kennedy
and beat the bag tirelessly.
When I am showered and dressed, I find Leah
sitting at the kitchen table dressed for the day.
“
Going somewhere?” I
ask.
“
I need to go to
work.”
“
I thought Dove and
Bethany were going to work for you this week?” I walk over and pour
myself a cup of coffee.
“
They are. But I need to
go in and balance the books and do the deposits. I haven’t been
there for a few days.” She takes a deep breath and adds, “I need to
get back to doing something normal. I can’t hide from the truth any
longer. Sooner or later people hear or read about this. I can’t
hide forever.”
“
I thought you could hide
until after the baby was born,” I say
sincerely.
“
Robert, no. I can’t. I
know you want to protect me, but you can’t protect me from
everything.”
I watch as Leah walks over
and gets her purse and keys from the counter.
The hell if I can’t
.
I’ll at least give it a try.
I follow her to the door and she stands on her tiptoes to
kiss me goodbye. “I won’t be long,” she says. I follow behind her
and hold open my car door. “I’ll take you.”
“
Robert?”
“
I have to go to Crowder
Brothers Hardware for some things anyway.”
“
Robert?” she stands there
with her small hands on her hips, trying to look all
badass.
“
Leah, get in. It’s just a
ride.” I motion with my hand for her to get into the Hummer.
It’s not just a ride, it’s my way for me to watch
over you and protect her.
I’m happy when
she finally agrees to get in. I’m even happier when she takes my
hand and lets me help her into the vehicle.
We drive through the neighborhood and as we
near the gates, we see several news crews, newspaper reporters, and
cameramen on the other side of the gate.
“
Well, maybe we can hide
for one more day,” I say.
Leah
Robert looks over at me and drives past the
gate through our neighborhood.
“
I’m afraid this is just
the beginning,” I say, sadly.
“
I’ll call Mom and Dad,
and we can use their car until this blows over.”
I know he is trying to help.
I say, “They probably already did their
research and knows what cars our parents drive. They’ll be stalking
them next. We at least live in a gated community, so we have some
privacy.”
Robert gets on his cell phone and calls Gus.
He tells him the news crews are camping outside the gate. He says
we need a rental car with dark tinted windows. We drive around the
neighborhood and he calls both of our parents. He tells them to be
careful and if they start getting harassed to call the
police.
Since we have nothing else to do, Robert
hooks up the photocopier and we begin to make prints of Jamie’s
photo. I try to not copy pictures of us with Jamie, but it’s
difficult to find any of just Jamie.
Gus and Dove pull up and they are both
driving identical black Jeeps with almost black tinted windows. I
laugh and say, “These almost look gangsta.”
Everyone laughs and I say, “Why do we need
two of these?”
Dove says, “One is ours and one is
yours.”
“
I don’t understand why we
need two identical Jeeps,” I say in confusion.
Robert says, “They got themselves one so we
can confuse the news crews of we need to. If they suspect that you
and I got this and we all four leave at the same time, they won’t
know what vehicle we’re in.”
“
Oh, good thinking,” I
say.
“
I’d like to take the
credit, but the credit goes to Dove. She’s the mastermind behind
everything.” Gus smiles proudly.
“
I knew that.” I walk over
and hug her before I walk over and hug Gus. “Thank you for doing
this. I hope you guys know how much we appreciate
it.”
“
We do and you’re very
welcome. Maybe this will help for a while,” Dove says. “Now you
won’t be confined home for a few days. They’re snakes — it won’t
take them long to know this is
your car?”
she says sadly.
“
Well, for today this is
good.” I try to sound upbeat for Dove and for
everyone.
Robert asks, “Do you want to go to the
shop?”
“
I would love to. I’ve
missed that place — the smell and the feel of it.”
Dove smiles and says, “It’s very relaxing
there, and Jo’s cinnamon buns… I think I gained five pounds just
working there this week. If you ever need me to fill in again, let
me know.” She looks at her watch and says. “Speaking of which, I
need to get back to work. Break times over.”
“
You and Dove drive the
Jeep over and Gus and I will take the Hummer,” Robert says as he
holds opened the Jeep’s door. I look at him in confusion. “I just
wanna see who they’ll follow.”
“
Okay, be careful,
Ace.”
“
We’ll be there
shortly.”
Dove and I didn’t get followed on the way to
the shop in the Jeep, but Robert said he and Gus did.
Robert smiles and says, “They thought they
could keep up with is.”
“
They almost did,” Gus
says.
“
Nah, they didn’t stand a
chance.”
“
How did you lose them?” I
ask.
Gus looks to Robert and Robert looks to Gus,
but neither of them says anything. “You outran them?”
Gus laughs and says, “He was
driving.”
Gus, Robert, Dove, and
Bethany all hang out at the shop while I do the books and deposit.
I am thrilled to see the increase in sales. I call Brooke to let
her know I mailed out another check for her and to let her know we
once again need more books. She tells me she hired
Christina, the owner and operator of CBB
Productions. I’m not surprised, she needed an assistant. I’ve been
monitoring her books sales and ratings on the online selling
platforms. It’s just a matter of time before a publishing company
picks her up.
Robert helps me with the
ordering and we all help with the cleanup. Robert surprisingly
resisted Jo’s cinnamon buns. I’m happy to see that he is taking
this fight with Kennedy seriously. I know he wants the
championship, but I also can’t help but feel there is a
personal vendetta I don’t know
about.
Later the night Robert reminds me that we
have a doctor’s appointment in the morning. With all the things
that’s been going on, I totally forgot about it. When we go to bed,
I pray extra hard for thanks for our many blessings and for things
to work out for both families involved in the baby swap. Robert
reads from Jamie’s baby book and I fall asleep on his chest in the
middle of it.
Our appointment went well and the baby is
growing as it should. They did another ultra sound and we still
declined to know the gender. I think I would like to know, but
Robert is right, the sex of the baby isn’t important. On Friday, we
still haven’t heard anything from the attorney. Robert calls Bruce
and Bruce says he hasn’t heard anything. I get a call from Emma
asking if I would mind if she came over Saturday. I am excited to
see her and excited to have someone over. It’s been a long time.
Robert and I used to entertain a lot when Jamie was alive, but
since her death, we mostly just stay to ourselves.
On Saturday I am shocked to see a large
pickup truck pull into the driveway. I am even more surprised to
see Angel, Sara, Brea, Emma, and Molly get out of it. I’m wearing a
summer dress and heels and they are all wearing old jeans and
t-shirts. I smile and hug each of them. Robert stands in the
doorway smiling with his arms crossed over his large chest. He’s
wearing his signature t-shirt, jeans and boots. Even in the
summertime, he wears boots. Sometimes I wonder if he wasn’t meant
to be a country boy. Rugged and masculine — that’s my
Robert.
“
What are you guys up to?”
I ask.
“
We miss you,” Angel says,
hugging me back.
“
I miss you guys, too.
Where are the kids?” I look at Emma, Angel, and
Molly.
“
With their dads,” they
say in unison.
“
Adam and Raelynn are at
the church setting up for a play for tomorrow.” Molly adds, “She
wanted to come.”
“
You should have brought
her; I would have loved to see her.”
“
Thank you, you’ll have to
go to church tomorrow; she and James are in the
play.”
“
Sounds like a
plan.”
I hug everyone and Brea opens the tailgate of
the truck. “Bobby, can you help with this?”
“
What’s going on?” I ask
as I walk with Robert to the back of the truck.
Angel says, “Don’t be mad. But we’re here to
get the nursery ready.”
“
What?
Why?”
“
When are you due?” she
asks.
“
In a couple
months.”
“
Is it ready for the
baby?”
“
No,” I
admit.
“
This is what I do. I
decorate. And we wanted to do something nice for you. So, here we
are.”