Agent in the Dark (The Agents for Good) (9 page)

C
hapter Ten

Heartbeat

As the sun came up I could see that Asia was all but done in. I found a safe place for us that could not be easily approached without first alerting us. I pulled several soft needled pine branches down and piled them up on top of each other and then I laid our blankets over top of them.

I
lay down and gestured up to her with my hands, “Come here.”

Her tired eyes brightened up with concern, but she came to me. She gasped a little, as I pulled her down beside me and placed her on her side facing away from me. I settled in b
ehind her giving her my arm to lay her head on, as my free hand held her possessively to me. I wanted her so bad!

I sighed into her hair, “You can relax,
our deal is still on. You name the time and the place.”

She nodded her head imperceptibly and not long after I felt her breathing ease into sleep.

Her hand settled over top of mine. I swallowed and crammed my eyes shut. She was killing me with her gentle trust, slowly, but surely, like she’d never taken the knife out of my side and was still pressing it deeper!

Asia wasn’t asleep. She wanted to be, because she was so tired, but this was worth staying up for. At first she hadn’t known what to expect. She’d already decided that the two of them had reached the point together that she wouldn’t say no or protest if he went further, but she’d been hoping for a commitment to both her and what she’d asked of him. He had just reaffirmed everything she wanted once again, with his words of keeping with Option B and she felt herself go slack with peace, as she felt how God was working the situation out to her favor.

She was alone with a beast of a man, who had become a guardian to her like no other. The strength of the hand splayed across her middle both claimed her and showed her how safe she was. She let her hand settle over his in a
cceptance of his ownership. She’d never dreamed of anything like this. Eyes wide open she lay relaxed in peace, as she felt the large body behind her flex and pulse in raw desire for her.

The muscles, in the clenching arm, beneath her ear seemed to grind in the struggle for suppression of both nat
ural and modified desire for her. She should be scared, but she wasn’t anymore, not of him anyway. Other things maybe, but not him the person. He was elemental male at its most extreme, but he was tempered by something finer, which overruled his physical desires.

She was beginning to see that it was going to be a gift from God to be such a man’s woman. What had seemed like a sacrificial, even cursed existence at the time of the deal
could now be the implement of change needed to give her far more than her dreams had ever asked for. She fell asleep oddly content on the makeshift bed in complete trust that her man would never hurt her.

She sure was chipper, I acknowledged bitterly. It had gotten so bad that I’d had to roll away from her and do my resting in the dirt beside the comfy pine bed. It was early afternoon and she followed along behind me like an eager Girl Scout anxious to know all there was to know about nature. For someone, who hadn’t talked much before, she sure was bubbly now.

I did my best to answer her endless questions without my sore mood becoming a domineering issue. It wasn’t like I wanted to dissuade her questions about learning of the nat
ural world that I had chosen to make my home in so I tried to be nice. However the conversation eventually turned personal, as it always seemed to do with her.

“You mentioned you had a brother. Do you have any ot
her siblings?”

“No.”

“Are your parents alive?”

“No.”

“Any other family?”

“No.”

“What’s your brother’s name?”

I didn’t answer her and I started to put a little distance on her, when her hand grasped at my arm. I stopped not loo
king at her, but she came around in front of me. Her words were underscored by the earnestness of her gaze.

“I want to know about you John, please!”

I stared at her for a moment, “His name is James. James Kilroy, but he goes by the codename of Flint. I had a sister once, but she didn’t make it through testing as James and I did. Our parents died in a tornado that leveled our farm never knowing what became of us and beyond that I remember next to nothing else about them other than for the vague way of how my mother looked. I don’t like talking about it and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ask any more questions on the matter!”

I started to turn away, but her arms closed around my middle tightly.

Awkwardly I held my arms wide, “What are you doing?” I asked

“Giving you a hug.”

“I can see that, but why?”

“Because you didn’t get enough of them growing up.” She said.

I swallowed at that and stood still to the count of thirty, when she finally let me go. We started back out, as I felt defensive roiling emotions roiling back and forth inside of me like I was a wind tossed ship in a storm.

“Since I’m asking all the questions maybe you’d like to ask some about me. If so, fire away.” She volunteered.

I’d had it with everything! I turned savagely on her and she jumped back startled, “I don’t have questions about you, all I want is your body!”

I swung back away from her and instantly all I wanted to do was swear.

“Darn it!” I exploded out with, as I smashed my fist into the trunk of a pine tree, which caused dead pine needles to rain down upon us. My fist hurt, but I didn’t care. I swung back to her, the pain in my hand helping to clear my thoughts.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that! I know it sounded bad.”

“Yes, you did.” She responded simply.

“Okay so I did, but I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry. I a
ctually want to know all I can about you; it’s just that I’m in a lousy mood right now.”

“You’re forgiven.” She responded simply, as she reached out for my hand and started pulling pine bark fragments out of it. I stared at her lowered head blankly.

“You’re not mad at me?” I asked not sure what to expect at all from this woman.

She looked up into my eyes, “Why would I be?”

“For saying something to hurt you.”

“I told you that I forgave you for that.”

“You not still thinking about it?” I asked.

“No.” She said shaking her head, as she began to smile at me.

I shook my head, “I don’t understand you!”

She just smiled mysteriously and started back out, but she didn’t let go of my hand and oddly I didn’t want her to. We walked that way for a while, until the way became too brushy and she dropped back behind me. I missed the cool touch of her palm and fingers grasping mine. She’d wanted me to ask questions of her and wanting to please her I got busy to thinking about a good one to ask her.

“What is the single greatest achievement of your life to date and breaking into the Code’s mainframe doesn’t count.” I asked.

Without hesitation she responded with, “Helping to lead my father to the saving grace of believing in Jesus Christ before he died.”

I had not been expecting that of all the answers that she could have given me. She was so serious about her faith and her genuineness of zeal struck me once again in a way that I could not ignore. She wasn’t just saying what she did about faith. She truly believed that was her greatest moment in life out of all the award-winning patents she must have been personally involved with. She continued to be an untouched unspoiled wonder to me.

“You were close with your father?”

“Yes.” Softly she added, “They poisoned him when he would not give them what they wanted.”

I had surmised something like that had been the case from what Chantry had said about a mysterious suicide.

“I’m sorry about your mother; no kid should go through that.” I said meaningfully.

“What do you know about my mother?” Asia asked ca
utiously.

“That she was sent back to your father in pieces. That had to be hard on both of you.”

Asia was quiet for a moment. “She wasn’t a good mother. In fact all she did was give birth to me and nothing more. She only had me so that my father would marry her.”

“That’s a little harsh don’t you think?” I asked feeling her out, more than a little bit curious, as to what was the unde
rlying story.

“My mother was the Code
peoples first attempt at getting to my father.” Asia said softly.

I turned back to her in surprise, “She was an enemy plant!”

Asian nodded, “Father knew it from the start, but he wanted me to have a home, so he married her, but guarded against what my mother could see or find out. She had nothing to do with me. She even tried to kill me once, when she grew desperate. They cut her up in pieces, because she failed them, not because my father failed to offer a ransom as some believe.”

It would seem that Asia and I had a lot more in common than I had thought. How did someone turn out so well faced with so many challenges to deal with as a kid? I hadn’t turned out well, so what could explain what she had that I didn’t, which had helped her succeed where I had failed? I glanced back at her and then I decided to stop to ask my question.

“What made you become a Christian?”

She looked thoughtful, as she took the opportunity to rest by sitting down on a boulder. I leaned back against a tree to await her answer.

“The need to know why, I guess, is the best answer. I’m a real geek girl, always have been. I spoke thirty seven languages before I was thirteen and I already knew my way well through all the sciences and math. I was doing my own research and development, but as successful, as a prodigy that I was, the question that echoed over and over in my head was, why? Why did anything exist? Why no matter how finitely I discovered the ways of some path of science did I discover that there was, but another even more complex layer to be discovered under it? I rejected the secular teachings of evolution, as a means to explaining everything. True science and a mere look at the facts that we know of clearly proved that such a theory was both outdated and terribly wrong. Knowing that only left me with a hole to fill. Somebody put together everything I was seeing, but who? I considered all the religions of the world, but none of them spoke my language including Christianity. I asked my father for some time off away to think my way through this, because I felt tormented not knowing why. I felt like I could never truly be me, if I couldn’t understand why that I was. I didn’t need to go to college to learn academia. I went to experience what it was like to be among others, to experience relationship. I thought maybe that would give me a clue into understanding more of what I couldn’t see in the lab. In college I made friends, one of them became my best friend and she was a Christian. I confided in her what I felt torn about inside and she tried to share her faith with me, but Bible stories weren’t enough. Yes, I saw the wisdom of them, but how to make the jump from good sayings to abject faith in something when I still couldn’t answer to myself the question of ‘why’. I really wanted to believe in her Jesus, but what made Him the answer to my ‘why’? She asked me to give her three days to pray about it. Three days went by and she came back to me and asked me to go with her to a museum in Kentucky based on a Biblical framework of science and history. I went with her. Do you know what they teach there? They teach the science behind why you should believe God is who He is by what He has already done and left for all to see. I’d been seeing His work for years and now I could read why everything was and why I was and what my purpose was. Faith made sense, because now I could see beyond a doubt as to who to give the credit to. Knowing who God is isn’t enough though. My experience in college taught me the importance of relationship and what I read only made me see how important it was to have a relationship with my Creator. His very work made me yearn to experience life with Him so that I could see even more, as to what He had done already on display all around me. My friend brought me to the saving knowledge and faith in Jesus and what He did for me on the cross in my dorm room a week later. Life has never been the same and I will never be the same. My God answered my question of ‘why’ through the language of science and the facts that supported it. My purpose was so that I might know how much He loved me so that I could worship and love Him in perfect relationship for forever. So that’s why I am a Christian. God spoke my language and showed me love and I found my God ordained purpose by being in Him and so I serve my life trusting in Him the Author and Finisher of all things.”

I shook my head softly, “You should have been a motiv
ational speaker Asia. It’s a good story and it explains a lot about you.”

I turned back to the game trail we were on, but she soon caught up with me and asked the question I knew she would. The little Asian chick couldn’t wait to save me.

“So what about you?
What do you believe?” She asked breathlessly, as she tried to keep up with me.

I decided to be honest with her, “I believe there is a God, but He hates me and I hate Him in return. End of story.”

I heard her gasp, but she didn’t say anything. That was surprising. I glanced back to see her looking contemplative.