Alaskan Adventure (Destination: Desire) (9 page)

The answer was a whiny complaint, and the tone was worthy of a toddler who needed a nap. Gabe shook his head in horrified amazement at Anne’s back. What fresh hell was she living in? Her mom was unreasonable enough to expect her to abandon a very expensive trip and come home over a blown breaker? If he wasn’t listening to Anne’s side of the conversation and hearing how deadly serious she was, he’d assume this was some kind of joke.

Anne sighed. “No, I’m not being selfish for taking a vacation, Mom. If we continue this conversation, it’s going to turn into an argument. You have power, you now know where the breaker box is and how to use it if you need to in the future. You’re fine. Have a good night.”

Her mother kept squawking, and it sounded like she’d dissolved into tears again when Anne tapped the button to hang up.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, her face carefully blank. “I need to send a quick text. Give me a sec?”

He nodded and her fingers flew over the screen. He craned his neck a bit but could spy nothing. “Who are you texting?”

She held the phone out for him to see. “My sisters.”

The message said,
Mom blew a fuse (literally and figuratively). If she calls, don’t answer.

While he was reading, responses started coming in and her phone buzzed.

The name Hazel popped up.
Got it. Thanks for the warning. Love you!

Cami came next.
Ugh. She drives me insane. I don’t pick up anyway if I can avoid it.

Then there was Nora.
Sounds like you answered and got the brunt of the drama mama. Sorry, hon. Try to forget it and enjoy your trip.

Anne pulled the phone back and replied.

“What did you say?”

She sighed, glancing at him again. “Just told them I loved them, then reminded them that they are busy this summer. They are under no circumstances to let her guilt them into going to stay with her.”

“Wow. Your mom is…” How the hell did he say it without sounding like an ass? Even if her mother really was as psychotic and needy as she appeared, he doubted that was something Anne wanted to hear. He also doubted it was something she didn’t already know.

She shifted around, propping her knee on the mattress. Her lips compressed and she nodded. “Yep. That pretty much says it all. She renders even the most stalwart souls
speechless.”

Indeed. He cleared his throat. “Uh…you live with her?”

Her expression darkened. “Nope.
She
lives with
me
, not to put too fine a point on it.”

Hesitating a moment, he wondered if he should just drop the subject. But he sensed this was a sore spot, sensed that maybe this was a topic she
needed
to let out. Anne was usually so open, but whenever her mother came up in conversation with his parents or him, it was like she shoved herself down into the smallest, most repressed version of herself. It was painful to see, when he adored her live-out-loud personality. “Does your mom have…health issues?”

Her gurgling laugh had an edge of hysteria to it. “Do mental health issues count?” She slashed her hand through the air. “No, that’s not true. She’s perfectly healthy. She’s just a drama llama mama. World champion, gold medal winning drama queen.”

He met her gaze squarely. “So, you let her loose in your house…why?”

“That’s complicated.” Her lips twisted.

Propping himself up on his elbows, he tried to project an air of casualness. “I have time.”

Her sigh was a long, low, tired sound. “Cohabitating with her was for my sisters. I told you I went to college nearby so I could help my family out. Basically, my mom is just unable to handle…life…without having a daily meltdown. She doesn’t have real psychological issues that I know of, she just refuses to grow up and be an adult. Unfortunately, my dad and I have enabled her for half her life. Him for my sake, me for my sisters’ sake after he died.”

He tilted his head. “How old are your sisters?”

She looked as if she might be grinding her teeth again. She was frustrated and trying not to be, repressing everything. Shifting around, she resettled against the headboard. “Cami, the youngest, just finished her freshman year of college.”

“Cami still lives with you too?” He pushed upright so he sat next to her.

“Nope.” Her tone turned brittle, no matter how hard she tried to sound teasing. “My nest is empty, except for my mom.”

He bumped his foot against hers. “You don’t seem happy with the situation.”

“I resent it.” She averted her chin, dropping the attempt at lightness. “I love my mother, don’t get me wrong, but she drives me insane. I sucked it up for a decade and a half for my sisters’ sake, but…Dinah is never moving out.
Never.”

The ferocious snarl in her voice made his eyebrows arch. The relationship she had with her mother was clearly unhealthy, and it weighed on her. Then again, it sounded like her mom was unable to maintain healthy relationships. “Have you asked her to leave?”

“I’ve tried.” Her fists balled on her thighs. “Broad hints about wanting to downsize to a smaller place now that the girls are grown and gone. Nothing sticks. It slides off her like Teflon.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” Not with the attitude of entitlement that had come through the phone load and clear.

“I’d love to kick her out or just…walk away forever.” Her eyes closed. “I feel like an asshole just saying that. My mom can’t support herself, Gabe. She’s never made enough money to make ends meet, not once in my entire life. Child support from my dad was the only thing that kept her afloat while they were separated.” The look she gave him was exhausted, frustrated and helpless. “I think she had my sisters so he’d never be able to leave her again. It’s not that she doesn’t love them—or me—but she didn’t have us for the right reasons. I don’t even think she wanted kids.”

Jesus
. His chest ached for her. His parents had been so good to his brother and him. They’d never doubted for even a moment that they were loved and wanted, even during the inevitable fights that came with growing up and becoming an adult. He was so fucking lucky. He’d always known that, but he was giving both his parents a huge hug in the morning. He only wished Anne had had parents like his. It pissed him off that anyone—even her mother—would use her. Because that was what was happening here. He could see it, even if she couldn’t. “So when your dad died, she forced you into the role of parent to your siblings and caretaker to her.”

“Force isn’t really the right word,” she said stiffly. “I volunteered and I knew what I was getting into.”

Of course, she wouldn’t like being cast into the role of victim. Not Anne. It didn’t matter that she should never have
had
to volunteer. She knew that, but she’d had only shitty options and she’d made the one she could live with. She was, quite possibly, the strongest person he’d ever met.

Reaching out, he laced his fingers with hers. “What was your dad like?”

A smile edged up the corners of her lips. “He was awesome. I mean, he was human and made mistakes like anyone else. After all, he
did
marry Dinah. Twice. But he was a good father to his daughters. He took us to the park every weekend to play—baseball, basketball, volleyball, soccer. Didn’t matter, he loved sports. He coached my little league teams. Nora’s too, when she was old enough. He passed before he could do it for Hazel or Cami, but he would have.”

“So you coached for Hazel and Cami.”

It wasn’t a question, but she answered anyway. “Yeah, I did. It only seemed fair to give them the kind of involvement I’d had. It’s what Dad would have wanted.”

“You were a Daddy’s Girl, huh?”

“It’s difficult to imagine being a Mama’s Girl with Dinah for a mother. I don’t think any of my sisters are Mama’s Girls either. Thankfully, none of them picked up her drama llama tendencies. My sisters fight with each other like cats trapped in a burlap sack together, but even that’s gotten better with age.”

He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I bet they take after you. Scrappy, loyal, smart, funny. They could have done a lot worse than having you to raise them.”

“Shut up.” Her nose crinkled and she bumped her shoulder into his. He was fairly certain her cheeks went pink in a slight blush.

Tugging her close, he wrapped an arm around her. She didn’t resist, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. He brushed a kiss over her brow. “I mean it. You’re an amazing woman, Anne Kirby.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Gabe. It’s…nice to see someone who has such a great relationship with his parents.” Her voice was wistful, and it didn’t take a genius to know she wished she had that kind of bond with her mother. “And you’re very good at what you do—patient, competent, helpful.”

He rested his chin on the crown of her head. “I like you too. I’m sorry about your mom. You deserve better.”

“Thanks,” she whispered. “I
needed
this vacation so bad, you know? The last year, I’ve felt like I’m losing my mind. Like…is this all there is to life? Is this as good as it’s going to get? Doesn’t busting my ass for my family for over a decade earn me a
little
personal happiness?”

“I know what you mean. I felt the same way when I was doing the Silicon Valley tech company grind. At first, it was thrilling to dive in and put my skills to work, be creative, do important things. After a while, I just felt trapped. Like…is this all there is to life? Living for my work? Never seeing the light of day wasn’t making me happy. I was busting my ass, doing what I thought I wanted, and I still wasn’t happy. So I got out.”

“Just like that, you walked away from all of it?”

“I still do some freelance coding.”

“Right. Did your family support your career change?”

“They were hesitant at first, especially my older brother. He’s a banker, married to an account.” He grinned, thinking of the last quarter’s profits on investments his brother and sister-in-law had reported. David really was good at what he did, especially in this crap economy. And Raquel kept meticulous books, taking care of Gabe’s taxes every year. Bless her. “They look after me financially.”

Anne tensed in his arms, and he realized how she’d take what he’d said.

He squeezed her. “I meant they manage my money, not that I freeload off them.”

“That’s good.” She nodded, her hair rustling against his shoulder. “No one deserves to be freeloaded off of. You don’t seem the type, but
I
don’t seem the type to put up with a freeloader, do I? Appearances can be deceiving.”

“True enough.” He trailed his fingertips up and down her back, and she eventually drifted off into sleep, but his thoughts wouldn’t stop spinning.

So much about Anne made more sense now, having witnessed the emotional manipulation of her mother. A small part of him wanted to pull a white knight and rescue her from her shitty home life. Not that Anne would appreciate the gesture, but the instinct to protect was so strong, it shook him.

He wanted to keep her. The realization wasn’t as shocking as he would have expected. His subconscious had figured this out before he’d been willing to acknowledge the truth.

He’d loved every second he’d spent with her, and it was the first time he’d ever wished that a cruise would last forever. Normally, he liked the passengers, but the close quarters meant he was
really
ready for at least a few of them to go home at the end of the trip—especially on the longer three week jaunts. Not this time. Once this trip ended, he knew she’d disappear from his life like so much smoke. That had never bothered him before the handful of times he’d taken a lover during a cruise. Both he and the lady in question knew it was short-lived and no-strings. He’d known that with Anne too, but that didn’t change the feelings burning in his chest.

He just…didn’t want this to end. It was too good. They fit too perfectly. Knowing the circumstances she’d be going back to did nothing to alleviate the situation. It only made him want to keep her more.

Chapter Seven

“Good morning.”

Anne’s eyes weren’t even open yet when she felt the warm brush of Gabe’s lips over hers, and she couldn’t help the smile that curved her mouth. “’Morning.”

Then she remembered last night. The phone call. Her mother. Oh good Lord.

“I’m going to grab a shower.” He patted her bare butt and then the mattress creaked as he rose and walked away. “You sleep a little more.”

“Okay.” Now she wasn’t opening her eyes because she didn’t want to see if he was thinking about last night too.

She was used to her mother’s theatrics embarrassing the crap out of her. She’d learned to be pretty bombproof in her almost thirty-four years of life, but even then, Dinah always found ways to go the extra mile to humiliate. Whether there was anything to get excited about or not, she was going to cause a commotion. There was no
if
, only
when
.

Last night, though? Anne had wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Or fling herself overboard into the icy water. Meeting Gabe’s eyes after he’d heard her mom spaz the hell out over nothing had sucked. Explaining the details of her dysfunctional family had been even harder. Especially since she knew his family was so tight-knit and
nice
. She usually joked about the drama llama, laughed it off, but with Gabe sitting there looking so concerned for her, so kind and earnest, she’d confessed her desire to run away from home. Permanently.

She’d considered transferring schools so she
had
to move, but then she’d be moving away from her friends and support network for no other reason than to escape her mom. It seemed juvenile. And, in all honesty, she’d still have to have the brutal kick-out conversation because Dinah would expect to go with her. Freeloading for life.

It had to stop. That was the bottom line.

The toilet flushed, and then she heard the sink running. Gabe liked to brush his teeth before he showered; she liked to brush hers after. It was just one of those little quirks she’d noticed. Normally, she didn’t pay attention to details like that. With Gabe, she seemed to want to catalog everything. Maybe so she could call it up and remember it all after they’d parted ways.

A pang hit her heart at that thought, and she shook her head at herself. The sink switched off and the shower turned on.

Maybe things being so good with Gabe was what was pushing her to finally rip free of her mother’s clutches. Maybe it was seeing how functional Gabe’s relationship with his parents was. Maybe it was that Vince reminded her a little of her own dad. But Anne remembered what it was like not to hate every second she spent with a parent. She remembered it wasn’t
supposed
to suck this badly.

After she got home, it was time to have the come-to-Jesus talk with Dinah. Her sisters would be invading the house
en masse
for Meg’s wedding, so Anne would wait until after so that her siblings weren’t drawn into the fight and end up as collateral damage to the drama. The girls had grown up and moved out. It was time for Dinah to do the same, whether she liked it or not. This had been coming for a long time, and it made Anne’s stomach cramp to think about it but, like her mom, it was far past time for Anne to put her big girl panties on when it came to dealing with her mom’s tantrums. She didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. There were no little sisters around to protect.

Anne also needed to tell her sisters what she intended to do, so they could brace themselves. And so they knew the Kirby family status quo was going to be shaken up a bit. Still, it had to happen. Anne sighed, and she felt like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. The decision was made. She just needed to go through with it. For her own sanity, she knew she would.

Her phone buzzed, vibrating itself right off the nightstand. “Crap.”

She lunged for the cell, scooping it up from the carpet. The screen read
Karen
. Thank God, it wasn’t her mother. She tapped the button to take the call. “Hey, hon, what’s up?”

“Hang on, let me put this on speakerphone.”

“Sure.”

There was a slight beep, then her friend’s voice sounded a little further away. “Can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear.” She smiled and flopped back in bed, tucking her free hand behind her head. It was nice to hear from people who didn’t want anything from her, who’d never demanded she fix their problems for them. She might have had crap luck in the mom department, but her friends rocked.

“Good,” Karen said. “Okay, Julie, tell her.”

Anne’s interest perked up. There was news? “What? Tell me what? Julie, you just texted me yesterday afternoon. You didn’t update me on any developments.”

“Nothing had developed yet!” Julie protested. Then she laughed. “Lukas and I are moving in together. He asked me last night, and we went house hunting this morning. Then he went to Stanford to represent his department for the new student orientation and I came here to meet Meg and Karen for coffee. There, you’re all caught up.”

The words had rushed together, but Julie’s joy shone through. Anne felt a tiny pang at how all her friends were moving on with their lives, but she crushed that down.
She’d
be moving on with her life soon too, sans drama llama mama. Anne asked, “Are you staying in Half Moon Bay? Because otherwise you’ll get lost.”

A smattering of giggles came through the line. Julie was infamous for her lack of directional sense. She could get lost walking from the kitchen to the dining room in her own house. Okay, she wasn’t quite that bad, but close.

Julie snorted. “True enough, but we’re looking at a couple of places on Skyline Boulevard. A nice halfway point between HMB and the Stanford campus.”

Meg piped in, “And not too many turns to get you back to HMB.”

“Exactly. I found my way to the houses we saw and back all by myself.” Julie sounded inordinately proud of herself.

“Ooooh, such a big girl,” Anne cooed.

“Brat!” Julie retorted.

“That’s awesome, though.” Anne wished she were there to give her friend a hug. “I know Lukas had a rough time after his first marriage, so this is a huge step for you guys. Congrats!”

“I predict he gives her a ring by Christmas,” Karen said.

“To celebrate their anniversary,” Anne mused. “I could see that. Totally.”

Julie shushed them. “I think we have to see if we can live together—and if I can safely navigate to and from work every day—before we start talking marriage.”

“Uh huh,” Karen answered, tone drier than fall leaves. “Tell Anne where he wants to take you for the holidays.”

It didn’t take a genius to fill in that blank. Anne grinned. “Back to Hawaii where you first met, huh? Yep, he’s gonna put a ring on it. I’m with Karen on this one.”

“Me too,” Meg agreed. “No question.”

Anne could all but hear Julie roll her eyes. “Oh, please, Meg. You just want to sprinkle your happy wedding fairy dust on people.”

It was impossible to resist, really it was. Anne chuckled. “Aw, I think Meg should carry a glittery wand at her wedding. Forget the bouquet.”

Meg growled. “I will spank you with my glitter wand.”

“Why does everyone want to spank me lately?” The words were out of Anne’s mouth before she could stop them, and she knew immediately they were a big mistake.

A round of hooting came over the phone. Julie asked coyly, “So, this Gabe likes spanking, does he?”

And she’d walked right into that one, hadn’t she? Anne tucked the sheet around her and sat up in bed. “No, it’s just a running gag between us.”

Voice quiet, Karen pointed out, “You looked pretty happy in that picture with him, hon.”

For all the mildness in her friend’s tone, Anne couldn’t keep the defensiveness out of hers. “He made me laugh right before he took it. He’s about as sarcastic as I am, if you can believe it.”

There was a long pause over the line, and Anne could almost picture her friends exchanging meaningful glances. She braced herself for whatever might be coming. The possibilities were endless, and she didn’t like any of them.

Julie, ever the one to egg people on in their madness, said, “Maybe you should continue seeing him after you get home. There aren’t many men with a world-class sense of sarcasm who can keep you laughing. There’s something to be said for a guy who keeps you on your toes.”

God, wasn’t that the truth? Anne balled her fists in the covers, doing everything she could to fight off the longing that imploded within her at the idea of keeping Gabe in her life. He’d never be interested in that, especially since he’d seen for himself what a hot mess her life actually was. Plus, she wasn’t sure she could handle his vagabond existence full-time. And they only had ten days left together. The time was slipping through her fingers so fast. Her throat closed with emotion, and she had to clear it before she could speak. “No, it’s not like that. Besides, he travels constantly for his work. The whole long-distance thing never appealed to me.”

“There’s no way to compromise?” Meg words lilted with hope that Anne couldn’t afford to feel.

“There you go, waving that happiness wand,” Anne teased, but she sobered quickly. Because it wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about what it might take to keep seeing Gabe, assuming he even wanted to. She just knew it was impossible. “Let’s be real here. We just met and it’s
already
time to make major concessions and compromises? If being in a relationship is that hard, there’s no way it’d work.”

“Relationships do take work, and there are always compromises.” Karen would be the voice of experience on that one, considering how close she had come to divorce the year before. But then she sighed. “You’re right, though. It shouldn’t be
that
hard. It shouldn’t be a huge struggle to be in a relationship. The most important question is, would the compromises it took to be in a relationship with him be worth the sacrifice?”

“I don’t know. I do know I’m tired of always being the one who sacrifices. Would I eventually resent him as much as I resent my mother?”

That question was met with utter silence. Yeah, no one had a good answer for that. Anne didn’t either.

“Listen, you guys. He’s here and in the shower, and he’s been in there long enough that he’s probably—yep, the water just cut off. I should go.”

Before she could hang up, Julie-the-antagonizer hurried to add, “I still think you can make it work if you want to. Don’t give up on something that makes you happy. You deserve a guy who makes you laugh!”

“Have fun house shopping. Love you, guys. Bye!” And then Anne disconnected the call just as the bathroom door popped open and Gabe stuck his head out. His shaggy blond hair was mussed and sticking up from being towel dried. He still managed to be the sexiest man she’d ever laid eyes on.

He stepped into the bedroom, his muscular body like poetry in motion. “Did I hear you talking to someone?”

“Yeah, my best friends called.” She drew her knees up and rested her chin on the bony plateau. She smiled and shook her head. “I got to speakerphone talk with all of them.”

He sat on the edge of the mattress and tapped the tip of her nose. “That grin says something big happened. What’s up?”

She liked that he could read her so well. She
shouldn’t
like it, and with most other men she’d dated, she would have felt vulnerable and exposed if they could see through her so easily. Not with Gabe. Her smile widened. “One of my best friends is moving in with her boyfriend. They went house shopping today. I see wedding bells in their future.”

“Hey, good for them.” He squeezed her hand, looking genuinely pleased for people he didn’t know. He was pleased because
she
was pleased. She liked that too.

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy and he treats my girl well. As he should unless he wants me to kill him.” She ignored the silent laughter that shook his shoulders. “My friends are the very best, and they deserve the best. If it wasn’t for them pitching in with babysitting for my sisters, I might have lost my mind a few times over the years. They’ve been there for me since we were in grade school together—through Dad’s death, dealing with Mom, raising my sisters. I couldn’t have asked for better friends, really.”

He leaned in and kissed her. “I’m glad you had them. What are they like? I’ve heard you mention them to my parents, but never in any great detail.”

“I’m glad I had them too.” She traced her fingers along his smooth jaw. He’d shaved every day since they’d started sleeping together. She wouldn’t have asked it of him, but she was glad not to have to deal with constant razor burn. “They’re all doing such great things with their lives now. I’m so happy for them, so proud of them. Karen’s been married to Tate forever, but they hit a seriously rocky patch last year. They’re well now though, about to have their first kid. I’ve never seen two people so thrilled by the prospect of spit up and chronic insomnia.”

He laughed. “You make parenthood sound so inviting.”

She arched her eyebrows. “People assure me there are trade-offs.”

“I’m sure.” He tweaked her nose, and she swatted his hand away.

“Julie’s the one who’s moving in with her boyfriend. She owns a fiber arts store in Half Moon Bay, which she inherited from her Great-Aunt Eloise. It was pretty devastating when Eloise died. That woman was a spitfire, and regularly reduced my mother to quivering incoherency.”

He snickered. “That’s not nice.”

“Eloise never said a word that wasn’t true,” Anne answered righteously. “Frankly, I think she said the shit my mother needed to hear. No one else ever wanted to deal with the meltdown enough to say it to Dinah’s face.” Wickedness danced through her and she smothered a grin. “I admit I may have deliberately thrown my mother in Eloise’s path any time Dinah pissed me off too badly.”

“Eloise sounds like someone I’d like, and that my mother would love.”

“Oh, no doubt. Your mother has excellent taste.” She chortled. There was a meeting of minds she’d
love
to witness. Too bad Eloise was gone. That old lady had been something else.

Gabe’s brow puckered. “Julie runs her aunt’s shop now?”