Alayziah II: When Loving Him is Complicated (12 page)

Rell

I’ll admit, Kai
was
my dream girl, but sometimes a dream don’t have shit on your reality, and this morning, I woke up to my reality. Alayziah. Having her in my arms was better than any dream I’d ever had. She was laying slightly on my chest. Her hair was all over her head and my neck and her hand was holding a handful of my dreads. I don’t know how her ass managed to hold them in her sleep but somehow she did. I caressed her back lightly after I pulled her on top of me completely.

“Good morning,” she mumbled letting my hair go and running her hand down my face and my chest, stopping at my dick.

“Good morning, baby. Sorry to wake you. I just wanted you closer.”             

“It’s cool. You hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“You got something for me to cook?”

“Yeah, breakfast is the only time of the day I eat here.”

She pulled the top part of her body off me and sat on my lap. For a moment, we just stared into each other’s eyes, smiling. A nigga could definitely get used to this. I ran my hands up her thighs before cupping her ass and grinding her pussy against me slightly.

“Stop, Bae, or I’m not gone be able to fix breakfast.”

“Ion care. I’ma still eat,” I replied flipping her over and crawling between her legs. She smiled and grabbed my hair as I spread her legs.

“You be the 6. I’ll be the 9,” she said closing her legs. Her ass ain’t have to tell me twice. I laid on the bed and held my hands out for her, but she stopped when my doorbell rang.

“Who the fuck is that?” I asked in frustration.

“Ion know. This your house.”

“Our house. Don’t get amnesia now since the dick done wore off.”

Smiling she rolled out of my bed. “I haven’t changed my mind, Terrell. I’m here and I’m yours. I’ll start breakfast when I’m done in the bathroom.”

I nodded as I watched her naked ass walk into my bathroom. Once she closed the door, I got up, put on my boxers, and grabbed the bottle of water that was sitting on my dresser before heading for the door. It was one thing for my girl to smell my morning breath. I didn't want anybody else to have to. Even though it would have been their fault for popping up at a nigga, house this early in the morning anyway. When I opened the door and saw Layyah standing on the other side I took a step back.

“Damn, nigga. The hell happened to your face?” she asked making her way inside without waiting for my invitation.

“Yo sister is what happened to my face.”

“What you do to her?” she asked turning to face me.

“I ain’t do shit to her,” I smiled at the thought of what happened last night. She rolled her eyes and walked down my hallway.

“Where she at? I need to talk to her.”

“How you know she was here?”

“I didn’t. I don’t know where she stays so I was just gone make you take her to me.”

“She stays with me. What are you doing here anyway?”

“What? I was with you for a year and you hardly let me spend more than two nights here in a row. I’m here for Kai and BJ. You know she’s due to have him any day now.”

“Yeah. Well. I’ll get her for you,” I turned to walk away but her calling my name stopped me. “Yeah?” I said, turning back around to face her.

Avoiding my eyes, she asked, “You love her yet?”

“I do. You know it don’t take me long to decide whether to give a woman my love or not.”

“So, I really have no chance now huh?”

I looked at her ass like she was crazy.

“Layyah, get fucked up if you want to. Don’t come for my man,” Alayziah said calmly. I didn’t even hear her walk up. I guess she wanted to see where our conversation was going to go.

“I was just asking because I need closure, Al.”

“Aight,” Alayziah walked in between the two of us and looked at me. “Terrell, do you want to be with my sister?”

“Fuck I need with her or anybody else when I got you?”

Shrugging she turned to face Layyah.

“There’s your closure. Stay in your lane, Lay. I’m about to cook breakfast. You want some?”

Alayziah

I decided to go to my apartment and take out all of the trash and start cleaning up. Yes, I agreed to move in with Rell, but that was temporary. I wasn’t moving in with him until we were married. I’d already had sex with the nigga. If I moved in with him, there was no telling when he would propose and make us official. Since Rell had a few clients to record before he could get to me, I decided to call Marcel so he could help me out. Between his new relationship and my new relationship our friendship had definitely been slacking. So much so that when we were together, it was kind of awkward and I needed to figure out why.

We were sitting across from each other at my kitchen table drinking bottles of water on our phones and looking everywhere but at each other. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I asked him, “Suga, what’s up with us?”

He sighed heavily as he sat his phone down. “What you mean, Love?”

“Marcel, you know what I mean. This… is weird. We’re never weird. What’s up?”

“You want the truth?”

“Always.”

“Alayziah, you know you my baby and I want to always see you happy, but… I’m worried about you. I just can’t sit around and watch you live the way you are, seeing the damage it’s doing to you… it’s bothering me.”

My face scrunched up as I pushed my seat away from the table. “The hell you mean the way I’m living?”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you about this. I knew you were going to be overly dramatic.”

“I’m not being overly dramatic. I just don’t understand why you would even say that. Help me to understand.”

“Okay. First, it was the nigga that you dated before my cousin. The nigga you were pregnant by. Then, it was my cousin. He’s still a no good ass lying and cheating nigga. Then, it was Andrew, the gay nigga. Then, it was Alex, the married nigga. Now, it’s Terrell, your sister’s ex.”

“Hold up right there. I didn’t even know I had a sister before I met Terrell, and what we had was already building before I met her. Don’t even include him in the number, but what does that have to do with the way I’m living? Marcel, I’m living and loving. That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? I can’t help it that the niggas I chose to date weren’t any good.”

“That’s just it, Love. You can choose. You just be choosing recklessly. Take Alex. You knew he was engaged when you entertained him. Even if he might have lied in the beginning, when you found out that he was still messing with the bitch you should have let him go then, but you stayed – and the nigga ended up playing your ass. Same thing with Drew. You thought he was gay because you brought it up to me, but you stayed with him too, and Jabari… I don’t know what the hell that was. Now, with this new nigga, you haven’t even been knowing him for two months and you already staying with the nigga and having sex with him. You fall in love so fast, Love. I just don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. You need to slow down. Be single for a while. Or at least, take things slow with Rell so you won’t make the same mistakes.”

I scratched the side of my face before folding my arms across my chest. “So, you saying I’m a hoe?”

“Not at all, Love. I’m just saying, you reckless with your heart.”

“Well, thanks but… this is just the way I was built. I love hard, and I’m not changing. You know my situation with Terrell and my living arrangements. As far as the time frame of me having sex with him is concerned, how long does it take to choose to love someone, Marcel? I love Terrell, and he loves me. I know you might not be able to understand it from the outside looking in, but yes, I love him and I love Alex and that will never change. My love is unconditional. What they do is irrelevant. I chose to love these niggas. It’s not about what they say or do or give or how they make me feel. My love has nothing to do with them. Alex didn’t understand that, but Terrell does because he loves just the same. I’m not slowing down or giving him up for anything or anyone in this world. Not even you. If my relationship with him bothers you that much, we might need to chill with this friendship because he isn’t going anywhere.”

“So, you gone choose that nigga over me?”

“It ain’t even a choice, baby. It shouldn’t be. That’s my nigga. You are my best friend. Y’all ain’t even in the same lane.”

He nodded as he stood. He walked over to me, kissed my temple, and stared at me for a second before grabbing his phone and leaving. I groaned heavily as I grabbed my phone. Terrell’s ass better do right since he may have just cost me my best friend. After I dialed his number, I put the call on speakerphone and sat in on my table.

“Ziah… where you at, baby? I need some Peace.”

I blushed. For whatever reason he decided to name my kitty cat Peace. “Why Terrell? What’s going on?”

“These niggas I’m recording. Niggas suck, man. Then, they expect me to work a fucking miracle. Got my head throbbing.”

“Awww baby, you got it. You the King, that’s why they came to you.”

“Look at you. Where you at, though? You gone be able to slide through so I can slide in you for a few seconds? We ain’t gotta have sex. Just let me put it in for a few seconds.”

“Terrell, that is not going to work.”

“Yes, it will. I’ll behave. I promise.”

“Nigga, why you just lie like that?”

He laughed. I laughed. “Alright. Alright. What’s going on, though? Aren’t you with Marvell?”

“Marcel, nigga. You know his name, quit playing.”

“Whatever, you know who I mean.”

“He left. He’s mad at me.”

“Why? What happened?” I heard his chair creak as he sat up and I smiled at his concern.

“He don’t wanna be my best friend anymore. He said I love too recklessly and he don’t want to see me get hurt again.”

“Type of shit is that?” I shrugged as if he could see me. “What that nigga say? He just left?”

“He was like I need to slow down with you or be by myself for a while, but I was like nah. Losing you ain’t even an option.”

“Baaabyy… I don’t want to be the reason you lose your best friend. But… I’ll be your best friend. I promise you won’t even notice he’s not in your life anymore. If you want me to talk to him or some shit, though, I will. I’m with you no matter what.”

“I’m good. It will work itself out in its own time. If not, it was fun while it lasted, feel me?”

“Nah, Ion feel you, but I’m trying to.”

“Terrell!”

Rell

Alayziah and Layyah were pacing in front of me like crazy. Bishop texted me to let me know that BJ was ready to come so we met Layyah up here. Now, they were wearing a hole in the floor in front of me and it was taking all the patience I had to not snatch them both by the hair and sit their nervous asses down. Bishop came waltzing out and I stood and walked towards him. Stopping midway to turn and look at them. They both were on my heels and one of them stepped on the back of my shoe.

“Will y’all chill? Stepping all on me and shit.”

Alayziah smiled and Layyah mugged me.

“We sorry, baby.”

“Nigga, shut up,” they replied simultaneously.

I shook my head and turned around to face Bishop.

“What’s up nigga?” I asked.

“She can have one more person in the room. It’s time.”

“Okay… who y’all want?”

Bishop looked at all three of us and sighed. “You nigga.”

My eyes bucked.

“Me? Ion know nothing about birthing no babies.”

“Nigga, you ain’t got to birth no baby country ass, nigga. We just gotta stand there and hold her hand and tell her she’s doing good the nurse said.”

“Fine, but if she start screaming too loud and shit I’m ghost.”

Carmen

My plan would soon be in full effect. I was worried that I wouldn’t have a way to get to her now that she knew I was coming for her, but thanks to one of the men in her life practically handing her to me I was going to soon get my full revenge. Since she wanted my husband so bad, she was about to meet him in hell.

Alayziah

Layyah and I were sitting in the waiting room and we were a nervous wreck. Layyah was sitting next to me with her forearms resting on her thighs and her head hanging. I was sitting so far down in my chair the back of my head was where my back should have been and my ass was almost out of the chair. My legs were shaking and I couldn’t help but wonder how long this was going to take. I’d never been in the hospital while someone was giving birth before. Usually, I just got the call or text that the baby had been born, but this shit was nerve wracking. I closed my eyes and shortly after Layyah began to speak.

“Al, what was it like growing up with pops?”

Surprised by her question I opened my eyes, sat up, and looked at her. “It was cool. He’s… a great dad,” she nodded as she looked away. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to grow up with him,” I added sincerely.

“It’s cool. I mean, it ain’t… but it is what it is.”

“Well, you can have a better relationship with him now if you want.”

“What about you?”

“I mean, I don’t really have anything against you personally. Just, don’t come for my man.”

“I’m not. Rell and I are past over. He made it very clear that he was done with me. Besides, I’m with Mike.”

“The nigga we had to come to Miami for?”

“Yeap.” She blushed and I shook my head at her crazy ass.

“Lay…”

“I know it might seem crazy but that’s my baby. He cheated on me because I cheated on him. I was scared to commit honestly, but after almost losing him for the second time I want to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

“I hear you.”

“So, what’s up with you? I want us to really get to know each other, but for now, give me the basics about my little sis. You know you were born because of me? Pops felt so bad about what he did with my mother that he took yours on a weeklong vacation and that’s when you were conceived.”

“Layyah, only you would take credit for somebody’s birth but um, I just started back going to school. I’ve got two more years before I have my Bachelors in Creative Writing. I want to use it to teach, but the ultimate goal is to make it as a poet and writer. I’m working as a copywriter, well I was until Rell made me quit. Um, I, I don’t know Lay. I’m just living. I’m working on a poetry CD and DVD with Rell. That’s actually how we met. Kai invited him to my poetry set and he wore me down.”

“You really like him huh?”

“I do. My best friend and I had this little spat because he doesn’t understand me and my love, but Terrell does. We vibe in such a way that throughout the day I can’t tell if I’m thinking for me or for him. He gets me. He handles me. He appreciates me. He adores me, Lay. Why wouldn’t I want to spend my life with him?”

Sadness filled her eyes temporarily, but she quickly put her poker face back on.

“Well, he deserves to be happy Al, and if you bring him that I’m glad you two found each other.”

“What about you? What you got going?”

“Shit. I ain’t into the arts and dreaming big and all that shit like y’all. I’m just a normal girl living a normal life. My family moved to Cali. When the shit went down with Kai and Rell I moved there but I came back when Mike started snooping around trying to find out who killed Courtney.”

“Courtney? Who is Courtney?”

“Girl… that’s a long ass story.”

“We got time.”